Unanswered [25] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by jujugo85
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Last Post: Dec 26, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 15  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 18
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
jujugo85   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'tradition was expectation' - Penn Supplement [3]

Hello! First off, LOVE what you have to say about tradition!! Your writing is great, and so are your vivid examples. I've made some minor suggestions on grammar in red. Also, the prompt says to consider the specific undergrad school to which you are applying, but I feel as though you merely mention it in passing. You nailedddd the unique aspects of UPenn as a whole, but I would probably go back and find something specific about undergrad to add. Perhaps a specific program for a major you are considering? Idk, but best of luck! :))
jujugo85   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / UChicago prompt about meditation- between living and dreaming there is a third thing [2]

Hey DJ! I actually applied to Uchi as well and spent hoursssss and dayssss writing on this prompt, only to return to the reverse psychology essay. -.- hahaha I had said working was between living and dreaming (working towards your dream) BUTTT I couldn't ever get it to "FEEEL" right and it never felt like moneyyyy! ya know? haha anyways, i like the approach you took. Everything looks grammatically correct, and your ideas are probably unique! The only thing I would remove is the second to last statement that directly states your belief: "I believe this is the third thing between dreaming and living: meditation and using my chi to envision anything and trail into that vision." It is kind of redundant, and it is not needed. If your opinion was ambiguous then I could understand stating it so bluntly, but your point is made clear throughout your essay. Otherwise, great job and best of luck!!! :)))
jujugo85   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / Cornell ILR supplement: passion for efficiency [3]

Describe your intellectual interests ,
their evolution ----> how you became interested in these
, and
what makes them exciting to you. ---> why you want to study these or pursue these
In your essay please address how the ILR curriculum will help you fulfill these interests and your long-term goals . ----> why does their school suit you/ yoour goals?

okay, i think your essay is very well written and provides concrete examples to support your claims. However, I do not feel that it answers the prompt directly. I feel as though the "intellectual interests" the prompt refers to are perhaps the majors you are considering ? You address a kind of motivation instead of this. also, you do not address any long-term goals. You mention the "motivation needed to strive," but to strive for what? (obviously in academics, but what is your ultimate goal?) If you are undecided on your major or career, propose options you are considering. Let them know that you have direction. Once you address these, I am sure you'll be fine! Your writing is right on point! :))
jujugo85   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / Why Columbia? -- Protests, Ahmadinejad.... [5]

love how the events are concrete reasons as to why you find Columbia appealing, as opposed to the generic "Columbia has a beuatiful campus and their exchange program ... etc." However, I agree with Ramya. Connect the events to you and how you are forward thinking and believe in independent thought and the doors it opens etc. Otherwise, it is well written!
jujugo85   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Porch conversations' - What matters to you and why? Stanford Supp. [4]

"La Vida" does make it cheesy...never considered that. thanks :)

I put the commentary in to make the essay more conversational... playing on the fact that it's on conversation. Bad move?

And on the gerundive phrases: I was unsure of whether using them would enhance or weaken the impact. I used them for parallel structure and as repetition for impact... just like the repetition of "It's..." and "I have..." in the second paragraph. Once again, I am unsure if these approaches weaken or enhance, but I guess you think it weakens. I definitely agree though and appreciate your help and the help of Mr. Oxford ;) haha I am checking out your essay now. Thanks!
jujugo85   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Porch conversations' - What matters to you and why? Stanford Supp. [4]

Any criticism is welcomed!!! I'll critique in return! thanks!!! :))

What matters to you, and why?

Porch conversations. You know, those long conversations on nothing and everything in "the Book" - not the Bible, but the book of Life, la Vida. However "cheesy" or melodramatic that may sound, conversation is what matters most to me. Conversation allows us to connect, to communicate, to reflect. Conversation may be defined as an exchange of ideas, but when I refer to conversation, I include the moments spent merely absorbing.

People would vouch for my claim that conversation is what matters most to me. They would, of course, refer to my inability to be quiet, mention how "I've never met a stranger"; what they may not realize is that I value my loquacious nature for the moments in which I stop - the moments in which I listen.

I have gained so many perspectives from hearing the insights of my classmates on pieces of literature in my English class. I have better understood global issues through exploring the opinions of others in my online Human Geography course. I have discovered my passion of exploring other cultures by witnessing the journeys of exchange students. Absorbing the tales of my Tio Pepe and Nana Ruth over baked manicotti has enlightened me on my heritage further than reading about it in books. Rocking in a chair and wearing down the cedar on my handicapped aunt's porch has taught me more about empathy than any film. Making a simple phone call to my family overseas has kept our connection alive, saved our relationship.

Listening. Communicating. It's how society builds from its past, learning from its mistakes. It's how we've become globally-minded, connecting with others. It's how I discover my world, finding my inspiration .
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I developed scoliosis, kyphosis, and lordosis' - Stanford- Intellectual Experience [12]

I think this is great and answers the prompt fully because you tell of an experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (Basically, because you do not react well to conventional treatment, you want to dedicate your life to exploring other methods and helping ohters. right?) However, I would end with a statement that refers back to how the experience influenced your aspirations. As of now, it ends in a way that seems as though you are promoting your ideas. selling your aspirations as opposed to your influences. does that make sense? haha buuutttt

I've made some minor suggestions on grammar, but you can choose whether or not to take them haha great job! :))

jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Immigrating to the USA from Taiwan' - Evaluate a significant experience [2]

LOVED reading this!!! It was very well written, and you used the descriptor words and phrases impeccably!!
I made some suggestions, but feel free to not take them.
This is well-written and answers the prompt. you should be fine!
best of luck! :))
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my future as a Cardinal scholar' - Letter to Roomate - Stanford [8]

Thanks guys!
I noticed with other people's responses that mine only addresses one interest, but I am still not sure if I should alter the substance, because the AO will see myinterests through my resume and common app. However, maybe they are using this prompt as a way to see which were most important to us? hmmm, puzzling. haha @ Alayna, I completely agree. If i got this is a legit letter, I would be like, okay, this tells me nothing about my roomate! Buttt, the admissions already know that i love soccer, and cheering, and debate, and blah blah blah, maybe I'll mention random tidbits such as my favorite meal (sushi?) or that i like to sew? orrr idk. thanks for the input!!! :))
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Essays / My sat score got cancelled [11]

AO often frown upon writing about exams and tests. I agree with the previous posts that you should write about something more personal. something outside of academics. BUTT, if you write it well, and that is what you want to write about, it will show in the essay. The hard work and resilience are good ideas... I'd say write a draft and repost, or write two options. what are your other options for the essay? do you have other ideas of how to approach it?
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'center of education where learning is limitless' Stanford - Intellectual development [5]

This has a 2000 character limit, and I am at 2007. -.- any ideas? Also, I put GS because it saved words and characters... but I feel as though it is distracting. Any ideas?(GS = Governor's School). Thanks for any help in advance!!! :))

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
This summer I had the amazing opportunity to attend a center of education where learning is limitless -North Carolina Governor's School. Diversity in this environment is an understatement. There are traditional classroom settings filled with desks and white boards, and there are prospective classrooms of lunchrooms, transit systems, and parks. Teachers and students are found in attendees and instructors, hall-mates and supervisors. Lessons are learned during allotted time through readings and during spontaneous discussion between seminars and workouts. The multitudes of ethnicities, religions, and socio-economic backgrounds present in the community allow students to explore and inquire by abolishing any artificial boundaries that may initially be present. In this utopian community, my capacity to learn was expanded. Not only did I acquire a larger perspective in which to analyze concepts, but I was able to experience and reflect on much more than I could in my typical schedule.

When I look back on my experience at GS, of course I recall the seminars, the TACtivities, and the presentations, but what I really remember are the details. Each time I am offered a plastic straw and cap for my drink, I remember the amount of trash I had to carry on my back for two weeks to witness the immensity of waste the world produces. When I taste Indian food, I recall the first time I had authentic chicken curry from my hall mate, Neha, and the lessons I learned hearing about her practices as a Buddhist. While sitting in traffic, I flashback to when Orlando, a GS conductor, taught me that music is made anywhere, anytime, even in the midst of motors and sirens.

At GS, my mindset was transformed. No longer do I mark topics off of a to-do list, rather I aim to experience education, be impacted by it. I look for the details and the unexpected lessons. I value accomplishments that are not just difficult to master, but difficult to explain. I am now the scholar, and the world is my classroom.
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my future as a Cardinal scholar' - Letter to Roomate - Stanford [8]

haha its cool! i just edited it because I accidently hit post too soon! any feedback? I feel like its missing something

@Desi, after seeing other postings, I realize I need an intro. At first, I read the prompt as a response type as opposed to actual letter. Thanks :))
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my future as a Cardinal scholar' - Letter to Roomate - Stanford [8]

The words in brackets [ ] are words that I am looking for replacements for. I cannot seem to pinpoint the most accurate word to describe what I am looking forrrr... but just ignore them! haha or offer suggestions for them if you'd like! thanks! :))

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

I am in love with the color red. From my venetian backpack to my ruby binder and matching notebook, from my flaming hot Cheetos(unhealthy, I know) to my scarlet paisley bed set, its many shades [encompass] my life. Please disregard the cliché association between love and red, because that is not why the scarlets, tuscans, and chestnuts appeal to me. Actually, in the past, I accredited my love for red to my rich Hispanic heritage. It did, after all, bless me with the bronzed skin that illuminates the lowest frequency of light so well. My insight on the matter, however, has changed.

Just the other day, my mother told me how I begged my uncle for bright red boots as a child. This story would [support] my previous claim, but he is my mother's uncle - a southern, Native American man reared in the mountains. If my love for red has influences from both sides of my heritage, then perhaps it is more than a shade to compliment my [brown] eyes and flowing locks. Perhaps it is my [centrifuge].

Red represents a multitude of aspects in my life. It is my past as a woman of Spanish, Italian, and BlackFoot Indian background. It is my present as a representative of the red and black, the Hibriten Panthers. It is, hopefully, my future as a Cardinal scholar. Red ties together the tornado that is me. It reigns in my passion for exploring the difficult to explain as opposed to the difficult to accomplish. If my crimson red Chuck Taylor's and my chili pepper red laptop doesn't prove too much, I look forward to our upcoming years as roommates!
jujugo85   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my identification badge' - Stanford Supp. [10]

This is a well written essay, but, I am missing what matters to you most? Is it seeing their smiles? helping others? listening to them? the motivation they give you? cancer research? clarify this and your supplement will be goldennnn :))

I am actually writing this essay right now haha Best of Luck!! :)) hopefully we will share a campus in the next few months!
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳