Scholarship / 'Biology and I will help people around me' - APCF Area of Study Prompt [2]

I feel like i'm listing a bunch of stuff that doesn't really help make the essay strong, but I don't know another way to make it all tie up! Oh, I'm also at the word limit, so yeah... Help me, por favor -____-

content help is always better than grammar help :D

Why did you choose your area of study, and what you hope to accomplish in your future career?

Looking at my six-year-old cousin's princess infatuation brings back fond memories of my own childhood. However, instead of Barbies and shining tiaras, I find that my memories are stocked full of vivid photos of rainforest and savannah wildlife. My quiet nature as a child induced a curiosity about the world around me and led me to decide on a biology major. With a biology major, I hope I can help other people around me and still be able to work in a world I love.

I was a shy kid and preferred to immerse myself in the world of nature instead of socializing. An avid reader, the books I liked the most were the ones about animals, which had exciting pictures and interesting facts that opened up a new world to me. Even plants amazed me, and I recall my enthusiasm at being able to grow a pumpkin seed in a damp Ziploc bag, plant it outside, and watch it invade the loamy earth on the side of the house (demolishing my mom's greens in the process). AP Biology was a difficult class, but it was one where the content always fascinated me, and I would linger over the photos of cnidarians and corpse-smelling flowers as I read the textbook. While I am much more confident and outgoing today than I was before, life science still has a strong hold on me, and I have never wanted to major in anything other than biology.

With my future career, I hope to help others, enjoy my job, and earn a sufficient amount of money. My dream job is to become a veterinarian or a pediatrician, both of which are capable of helping others. Being a veterinarian has always been a dream of mine. For me, one of the greatest joys in the world is to be with animals, and becoming a veterinarian would allow me to be surrounded by them and help them as well. After teaching at my Vietnamese school for three years, I discovered that children are much less intimidating than adults, and that I enjoy working with them. As a pediatrician, I can keep children healthy while staying inside my comfort zone. It may seem crude to desire a good salary in my future career, but I'm simply being frank. Without a sustainable salary, I can support neither my parents nor my future family, and helping those I love is a priority to me. Also, only when I make enough money to support myself will I be able to help people in less fortunate conditions for free. Though I hate to say it, money plays just as important a role in my future career as helping others and liking my job.

Hopefully, my love for life will help me find a job that meets all the prerequisites I have set for it. I hope I will continue to enjoy biology during my college years, and that I will become someone who can bring happiness to everyone around me.

Scholarship / 'What does being Asian mean to you' - APCF Asian Prompt [3]

Prompt: What does being Asian mean to you and how has it shaped the person you are today?

Wow, look at how much my writing has degenerated...I feel like I'm rambling a lot---am I? Anyways, grade it harshly guys, and less on grammar than on content. Thanks, and I'll help you if you help me :D

These days, there has been an overflow of "What people think I do/What I really do" compilations that humorously stereotype certain groups-such as Asians, for example. While these memes are simply jokes and are not meant to describe Asians as a whole, I can still find some truth in them. To me, being Asian is something that I flaunt and am proud of, and my ethnicity has helped me find a possible pathway for my future and become an active member of my community.

People always say to ignore stereotypes and be yourself. However, I find myself conforming to many Asian generalizations, such as studying hard and playing an instrument. While not true for all Asians and definitely applicable to non-Asians, the stereotypes conveniently open the way to my own interpretation of being Asian. I'm studious because I greatly value the Asian focus on family. My parents suffered endless hardships to provide me with freedom, a better education, and a home. I study because it would be foolish to give up this opportunity they have given me, but more importantly, because I love them. My family is my life, and anything is worthwhile if it makes them happier. Studying towards what I know will be a better future while making my family proud is something that is full of benefits and advantages. As for my bias for Asian music and dramas, it goes along with my belief that Asians have to embrace and explore their culture. I speak and write in an Asian language fluently, have Asian hobbies, and am a stereotypical Asian because I love my culture and want to keep it alive.

Being Asian allowed me to open up working with children as an option for my future. After graduating from my Vietnamese school, I was given the option to return as a teacher. At first I was reluctant, but I have now taught for three years. Teaching Vietnamese made me consider becoming a pediatrician. I found that I was very comfortable with young children, and many of my old students are still on friendly terms with me. Not only am I active as a Vietnamese teacher on the weekends, but I also am an enthusiastic member of the Vietnamese Student Association at my school. It is one of the only clubs that I have been a member of for all four years of my high school life, and I have received almost 100 hours of community service from the club. I like helping the Vietnamese community because it's fun to help others, and my work helps me remember that being Vietnamese is an important part of me.

To me, being Asian means loving my family and my culture, and my love for my heritage has made me become an active member of the Asian community. I hope Asians living in foreign countries around the world have a strong pride in their ethnicity, because being Asian is nothing to be ashamed of.

Scholarship / 'when I listen to the Vietnamese-Americans in my city' APIASF Community's Needs [2]

In 500 words or less, please describe how you plan to help fulfill the needs of your community after you've completed your education.

I don't know about other communities, but when I listen to the Vietnamese-Americans in my city, I'm saddened by how far they have managed to distance themselves from their heritage. All of my Vietnamese friends speak Vietnamese with an American accent and joke about the bad quality of Vietnamese music (which I personally think is quite good at times). As someone who identifies herself more as Vietnamese than American, I hope to use my education to help not only Vietnamese living in America, but those living in Vietnam as well.

Being a Vietnamese teacher, I'm fully aware of the difference between the first and second generation's Vietnamese capabilities, and I'm afraid that future generations will eventually be unable to communicate with their elders. How do we help the weak and poor if we can't understand a single word they say? By becoming a bilingual family doctor, I hope to act as a link between the old and new generations, someone who can easily help both sides. While family doctors aren't the ones who are recognized for saving people from incurable diseases, they are able to help more people surpass everyday sicknesses. As a family doctor, I would be able to help relieve the pains of people of all ages, whether they speak Vietnamese or American.

Vietnam is undoubtedly a poor country. While large cities such as Saigon may seem crowded by mopeds and other examples of modern technology, the country lacks the hygiene, medical abilities, and money of other countries. Whenever I walk into a Vietnamese supermarket, there are always boxes next to the cashiers pleading for donations for the orphans and lepers in Vietnam. The country is constantly subject to devastating floods, and malnutrition is still a serious problem in rural areas. My grandmother used to visit leper camps in Vietnam to help feed and provide friendship to those who are normally shunned by the community, while my mom always donated money whenever she heard there was a flood in Vietnam. Seeing as how both have been my lifelong role models, it's not surprising that I also want to help my homeland. As a doctor, I could provide more than just kindness and money; I could give those people another chance to live.

I've been lucky enough to have my parents' full support on my education, still have a foot attached to my heritage, and have an opportunity to pursue higher education, something which the majority of Vietnam can only imagine. I hope I can use my education to help Vietnamese people wherever I go.

Scholarship / 'Peer pressure connotation' - ASPIAF Scholarship Personal and Educational Goals [3]

In 500 words or less, please describe your personal and educational goals. What challenges have you faced that have helped shape those goals? How have you dealt with those challenges?

Peer pressure-most of the time, the term has a negative connotation and makes people think about the shadier side of student life, such as drugs or thievery. However, as a student in a city where students compete to excel in both academics and extracurricular courses, I was pressured to work beyond my own capacities. It took me several years to discover that there was life outside of school, and that I was destined to only strive for my personal best, not for others.

From fourth through sixth grade, I felt as though I was chained underwater, straining to break a few millimeters above the surface. All my friends were APAAS students who seemed to be geniuses at math, writing, and history while I struggled to grasp the basic concepts of the class. However much I tried, I never seemed to be able to work the math problems or spin out captivating narratives as easily as my table partner. Compared to my classmates, I even felt a sense of mediocrity in athletics. I was on swim team, but I was never as fast as the other swimmers in my class, who were all Junior Olympians. No matter how hard I tried, I could never catch up, and my desperation led to a lot of late-night studying and an overall sense of hopelessness.

Then suddenly, middle school came. Escaping from my small community of APAAS students, I realized that I wasn't half that bad. Everything felt so much easier when there wasn't any pressure to be better than I was. I excelled in middle school, and it was the first time I truly enjoyed school and made many friends. In elementary school, I was so focused on catching up my classmates that I didn't have time to get to know the people in my class. In middle school, everything became better-my grades rocketed, I escaped the rut I had fallen into in swim team (I finally passed the 30 second mark in freestyle after three years!), and I made real friends, not just acquaintances. Middle school really helped me understand that I would be happiest when living up to my own standards.

In high school, the students are just as competitive as in elementary school. However, I found that I didn't care about my friends' grades anymore. I now know from experience that I only wear myself out if I try to be better than I am. While my classes are not the most advanced, I sleep earlier than any of my friends, am healthy, and feel comfortable with my schedule, and that's what matters to me the most. I learned to deal with peer pressure by simply brushing it aside.

criticize please!

Undergraduate / 'infatuated with life' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality [5]

I just spit this out and will probably proofread it tomorrow, but it doesn't hurt to post it beforehand, right?

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

Curiously picking apart the owl pellet as my other classmates gagged on the musty odor; pouncing on crickets in the garage and stuffing them into a plastic cup filled with rice, wondering if they'll eat it; grabbing a scuttling lizard by the tail so that my cousin could snap a picture of it (and staring at the flailing tail in surprise when the lizard detached itself); I am fascinated with animals. As a child, all the books I read contained animals: My Side of the Mountain, How to Draw 50 Animals, and countless animal information books. However, this love for animals was checked when I enrolled for AP Biology. What did animals have to do with amines and carboxylic acid? AP Biology was so much more than just a life science class that at first I was afraid to pursue biology as my major. However, as the year went by and I learned more about the anatomy of animals and how they functioned, I realized that the class, while difficult, was fun. The molecular section of the class was boring, but I slowly understood that it helped explain how animals were able to function. I was stunned by the complexity of life shown to me through AP Biologyïwhich made me love life even more. Through the course of the class, my love expanded to include not only animals, but plants, humans, and fungi as well. The staggering amount of information in the textbook and its promise that there was still much to discover encourage me to unearth the secrets of the world around me. I have become infatuated with life.

I'll be happy to proofread your essays ^_^

Undergraduate / 'My cousin came over last week' - Stanford Roomate Essay [4]

i'm not sure my essay really reveals who I am. Also, is the tone too serious? It also sounds a bit rambling, but maybe that's just me.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

Hello there Roomate,
My cousin came over last week and was blasting her iTunes on her laptop while I read a cheesy vampire novel from the library (where half of the teen books seem to consist of vampires and/or girls with vapid love problems). All of a sudden, a song came up that went: "What if we get drunk? What if we smoke weed? We're just having fun..." I was shocked; what if kids hear this song and decide it's okay to get high on drugs? Go on, call me straitlaced, but I don't understand why modern American music focuses on alcohol and clubs. If forced to listen to American music, I'd prefer the classics, such as Papa by Paul Anka or Yesterday Once More by the Carpenters. Give me a choice of any genre in the world, and I'd go straight to K-Pop. Why K-Pop? At first, even I avoided it after seeing how my older cousin fangirled over the (supposedly) hot guys. However, I've now been an avid K-Pop fan for almost four years, not for the singers' looks, but for their talent and music. I can't understand a single word but I'm still drawn to the songs-I guess this is what it means when people say music is universal. I can also listen to K-Pop in front of my mom, who even considers "stupid" as a curse word. Besides singing on music videos, Korean singers also sing live and dance at the same time, which takes a lot of stamina, and come onto variety shows which reveal their human side; some have even entered the movie industry! The creative choreography of many K-Pop songs rampage the Internet, and while they're not easy to imitate, the choreography is fun and appropriate, unlike American club music. Real talent, real people, great music, and no need to worry about inappropriate lyrics-there's no incentive for me to return to American music. Call me a fob if you want, but as for me, I'm glad to have found music that pulls me in so deeply that I'm left yearning to listen to it again and again. Prepare for your ears to be bombarded by Korean music.

Your Roomate,
Anh Nguyen