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Posts by eradulova
Joined: Feb 4, 2012
Last Post: Sep 12, 2012
Threads: 7
Posts: 14  

From: Bulgaria

Displayed posts: 21
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eradulova   
Sep 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / Toefl -Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, [4]

O'K i will try to explain what I mean when I say concrete introduction. You should generalize what bot statement and give your opinion.

For example - Many people believe that good level of live is provided by amount of money. or Most of the people do believe that happiness and comfortable life is within amount of money. There is other kind of people that do not need fortune to feel comfortable. or Some people believe that comfortable life is not provided only with fortune. Than you state your opinion. In my opinion it is important to have money. or I think that you comfort of life and happiness is not matter of how much money you have but the way person use it.

Do you see, in the second part of question, it is about comfortable living.
It is true what you say but try to generalize. You gave concrete examples. It is only beginning of you essay. Just have a glance of what are the opportunities of bot in general. Later on in your essay you will regard reasons and supporting details. Introduction is a first part of your essay here you put your thesis. It is good to start with quotation but not that way. Begin in that way - It has been said or there is a statement that say "Money hai to Honey hai". Remember, it is academic writing. It is supposed to be more sophisticated.

LIBERTY means people out of occupation, FREEDOM means opportunity to do what you feel like to do
I like you idea, but try not to list you examples. You should put them in order. Here I provide you simple body of you essay.\

1. Short clear introduction. State your opinion.
2. Essay's body. Give two or tree different reasons. Support them with examples, personal or not personal. All your reason have to be put in separate paragraphs.

3. Make strong conclusion of what you have already written.
Now you have clear idea what to follow.

I am learner to. I am not able to help with grammar. There is many thing i do not know. It is helpful if you read a lot of academic articles.

I hope I am helpful to you. Have a nice
eradulova   
Sep 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / Toefl -Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, [4]

I think you should be more concreted with the intro. You just have state your opinion. Discussion comes later. Do not start a paragraph with IF.

Remember, your essay is divided into tree main part introduction, body and conclusion. First comes the introduction were you state your opinion. Than comes the body. In that part you give two or tree reason for that opinion. You must support them with strong details and examples. You are supposed to write every different reason and supporting details and examples in separate paragraph. In the end you writ your conclusion. It is simple structure to follow. Important, do not translate directly from your language.
eradulova   
Mar 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - new technology helps students a lot [3]

Do you agree or disagree with following statement? With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer.

Learning has changed since new technology appeared. Most of all help students learn better and quicker.
Personal computer is one of the most profitable device, we use for studying. Accessing the internet, which PC makes it possible, is the new way we have our lessons learned. We use Internet as endlessly source of information. You go to google.com or other kind of search to find information you need. There is always an article about the topic you are studying. This is one of the reasons we use internet. Than we have so many virtual library, that has become more common for use that the old fashion paper book. I know people who missed old books and are still going to the library. They do it just because they find it sentimental. Anyway virtual library has replaced the old one. It is quicker and easier. You just type a word and get a list of web pages that are related to the topic you are looking for. It save so much time, that you use it to learn more and more. You do not have to look among many books to find an article you should read.

On the other hand we have so different forums in the virtual space. You are helped as easy as you give help to somebody. This is possible only because we are connected by the new technological devices. All that new machines help us much as they save us time and give more possibility to get that we want. For example you are in the yard at the university and enjoy the sunny day meanwhile you are learning for the last term exam. That would not be possible if you were in the library. One more, you do not have to spend hours waiting in front of the teacher's office. You just send your home work via e-mail, later on you receive you score or references via e-mail. The makes studying process more flexible. Learning foreign language takes a lot of time. Looking for what that word means in the paper dictionary makes it longer and more difficult. With new web dictionary you type the word you do not know and the meanings appear in a minute.

I consider new technology helps students a lot. They not just save our time but make the studying easier.
eradulova   
Mar 15, 2012
Essays / The opportunity to teach something you know to someone else. Introduction? [2]

The beginning is explanation. Tell about what car transmissions is like. For example "Hello, today task is car transmissions. It is like ... here you expose the mechanism of car transmission. Give some basic words or more. It depends on the time you have. Than go to the main part of the lesson. Lessons or lecture are divided into 3 parts. They are INTRODUCTION, EXPOSITION AND CONCLUSION. First one short explanation of the topic you talk about. Second part is the one that you explain what to do, how do it and why you should do it. Than is the third part, you conclude all you say.

have a luck, Eva
eradulova   
Mar 15, 2012
Book Reports / Help quoting a person speaking ("Pride and Prejudice") [3]

"I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister has a cold? Her hair so untidy, so blowsy!" - It is reported speech if so you should shift tense one step backward in time. It should be like ...SHE SAID "I HAD BEEN HARDLY ABLE TO KEEP MY COUNTENANCE. VERY NONSENSICAL TO CAME AT ALL! WHY HAD SE MUST BE SCAMPERING ABOUT THE COUNTRY, BECAUSE HER SISTER HAD HAS A COLD? HER HAIR SO UNTIDY, SO BLOWZY!" Check yourself reported speech rules anyway!
eradulova   
Mar 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - 'earning money became one of the main goals' [2]

Is it better to enjoy you money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support you answer.

Now days earning money became one of the main goals in our live. It is like we live just to earn more and more money.

Firstly, we spend and enjoy an outcome we get. There is a need to buy a thing, like a food, cloths, shoes, etc. We spend money also for fun, going out is always involve with spending. Other is shopping, mostly for women. They really love it. There is a space left for new pair of shoes. So we enjoy our salary at the time we earn it. It is not possible otherwise. We give the money we get for goods we need at the moment. That is the main point of earning money. You go to work, not just for fun and to be glad of your existing, but also to purchase your own profit.

On the other hand what we earn money for? For better living at the moment or for saving money for better future. Some people live in present, do not think what future would be. They enjoy their money now, at that time. But other are more careful and save money for the time in future. No one knows what is next, what would be tomorrow. So, in any case saved money is needed.

Both cases are reasonable. In my opinion saving money is preferable although there is always need to satisfy yourself for been working. I save money just to have amount that could spend apropriet. I could invest the money in thing that can bring me more money or for holiday or for some lessons, which in any case would make my glad that I have been saving money for a reason.

In the end I think is better to save money but not forget to enjoy it meanwhile you earn it. Otherwise it is not worth to pres yourself and work just to earn money.
eradulova   
Mar 12, 2012
Graduate / ("If we were to admit one more student..) - how to start ISB Application essay? [3]

So, you start with your background.What you have studied. What are your achievement and score since now. What you aim. Than you write about your abilities and goals. You should sound confident of yourself. Say also something good for the this YLP batch and you are ready with you essay.

good luck
eradulova   
Mar 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'we need sometimes to compromise' - TOEFL preparation [3]

Sometimes people should do things that they do not enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Doing thing is the main activity of our live. This is how we live. Always doing things we like or dislike.
Sometimes we have do things we do not like, but they are essential and important to us. So we must have them done. It is important to us to do it no matter do we like it or not, in case we are supposed do to. Otherwise we risk to disappoint people we love or to fail in job or competition for example. There is always opportunity to loose something or somebody just because we don like doing something. That is why we need to push ourselves somehow and do all that bored us. But there is always award back to us. All we do is reward.

For example there is so many people who do not like their jobs. It is matter of surviving and they keep going. Just because what could they do if they are jobless. They could not have any level of living as other do. What about family ship. There is always some mother in low that do not like her daughter's husband. The poor man has to stand this all his live. But is there any opportunity for him, no. He has to find the way to coop with.

On the other hand we have so many people that do things do not enjoy. It is kind of person that believe they do right things just to achieve their gools.

They never complain themselves. That kind of people are strict and self confident, do things right and get to the point. The most important is they end up happy in most cases. I will tell you why, just because they do not care about enjoying of doing things, but care about what get in the end.

As conclusion I would say we need sometimes to compromise. Than we are supposed to do things right and be happier with what we have done no matter we like or dislike. The outcome is the essential of doing thins.
eradulova   
Mar 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / "Kant' duty ethics" - Help with my research essay [4]

OK, it is a hard topic. Try to start with diversity of transcendental and transcendent. Write about human and beyond, what god is and how we find good as.

Write something and post it here than we will see what is next,OK?
eradulova   
Mar 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL 'phone and e-mail make my communication easier' [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones and email have made communication between people less personal. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Telephone and emails are modern means of communication. They have not existed in the past and even though I do not think they make communication less personal.

Now I will tell you why? Communication is divided in two parts, personal and non personal. Let us have glance at the first one, it is the one that take place as topic of my review. So, we need to communicate each other. Than we choose the way we make it. I mean, you need to hear news from your fellow so you call him or he does it. No matter either you or he/she. Is he or she one of your closest friends or not. You just keep talking to him in your fashion. However the conversation can go personal or not, it depends on the relationship you have. In the busy time we are living it is not possible to keep in touch otherwise or at least it is hard to be. We use as much devices as we can to communicate with friend and family, just not to loose relationship.

Even more I think that telephones and emails keep people closer to each other. How could it be possible when we run all day to work, to the gum, to pick up the children and go to the bar unless we have some time to do all of this .In that case how much spare time we have left to meet other people? So we have telephone to call and ask "How are you my friend? Today I did this and this. What do you think about?" Or write an email to discuss idea or plans you have for you holiday for example.

Even more we have globalization as fact. There is so many friends of mine moved to another place. I would like to hear for them. I am not able to meet all of them in a week. So I use any appropriate mean to keep in touch.

In the end I think that phone and e-mail make my communication easier and keep me close to my all fellow around the globe. I am thankful to the advanced technology that makes me able to be with my friends who far away and makes it easy to deal with those who are near me.
eradulova   
Feb 18, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'felicitousness' Happiness is considered very important in life. [4]

To begin with,it is an obvious fact that every person understands the word "happiness" in her or his own way.To be more precise,seeing the world is happiness for a blind person or achieving a goal is happiness for every person. - GIVE SOME MORE EXPLANATION WHAT HAPPINESS MEANS

To conclude,there are so many factors that cause to achieve happiness - CAUSE HAPPINESS (without TO ACHIEVE)
AND THE CONCLUSION IS SHORT AND NOT CLEAR
eradulova   
Feb 16, 2012
Scholarship / China Scholarship Application for Grad School - International Business [4]

I am writing to apply to your Scholarships for International Student - I think YOUR SCHOLARSHIPS sound a bit personally
I AM WRITING TO APPLY TO THE SCHOLARSHIPS FOR INTERNATIONALE STUDENT THAT YOU PROVIDE, or something like this
Internship is yet another way to contribute to my - You could change CONTRIBUTE with PROVIDE, is more appropriate
In my opinion this essay is good one. You sound strong and confident, which is needed for that reason I think.
eradulova   
Feb 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Opportunities to go out in a quiet town' - TOEFL [3]

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and examples to support your answer.

I live in a small and quiet town near a big river. Nature all around is beautiful and not polluted, just because we do not have many factories and facilities that provide pollution. It is a peaceful and kind of boring place in some way, because there is not much to do for fun. Any way, it is better to live in an environment with less pollution than to live in a big noisy city with a dusty street full of car.

The important ting I wish to change in my little town is something that could amuse people.
Young need place to gather and have fun or play some game, just to socialize. There is a school and a library, but that is not enough at all for the new generation. I would like to have some more sport facilities, like a swimming pool or a basketball playground. All that places could be used for competition, which any way brings people fun. Cinema is another good opportunity for people to go out and have a fun. In a small town like mine that will provide and show native many different stories for a foreign country and culture, which for sure is interesting. On the other hand it is an appropriate place for young to meet each other, nevertheless if there is some nice club or restaurant near the cinema. That will bring people together and make them more satisfied and happy.

I believe that is not so difficult to do, even more you are young and want to make a change for good reason. I love the place I live in and I do not want to go away because of boredom. All I wish for me and everyone living in my town is just to have more fun in a little quiet place like our.
eradulova   
Feb 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'making important decisions - you have to consult or discuss' - TOEFL [4]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reason and examples to support your answer.

Person should make decision every day no matter what kind of. Decision making is one of the main things that occupy our mind hour after hour. You get up and go to bed whit decision.

What decision is? It is mental process that leads us through life. There is two basic kind of decision and they are conscious and unconscious. So we are talking about conscious decision which we divide to problem solving and making choices.

Problem solving is always involved whit an analysation of the situation and getting the best solution. And if there is another person that takes a part in situation or has to do with the result, so you are supposed to consult him or discuss the matter.

On the other hand we have that process called making decisions. In most cases it is always up to you. You are the one that knows what is the most important or the most appropriate way to take any way. But there is a chance to be involved other person in that case to. Than again you have to consult or discuss whit the other one.

There is one more point. Are the kind of person that is always self confident and do not need to be advised? So, we are not able to have any discussion on that matter.

That is what we have in conclusion, in both cases it depends on the situation you are in.
eradulova   
Feb 8, 2012
Essays / Western civilazation (Leonardo da Vinci) - coming up with a thesis for my essay [3]

OK why don't you try to start with "Vitruvian Man". Leonardo da Vinci had used this one as example to write about and study as well human proportion. He is not the first that had been studying human proportion,but is first to describe "Sfumato". Furthermore he is one of the greatest

scientist at that time and all the time at all. He is also one of the two best painter of the late Renaissance.
Mona Liza's smile is to common and boring, I suggest not to use this one. You could try whit the war machine or that one that is flying.

Have a luck and another question if you like
eradulova   
Feb 6, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Changing the design of cars' - integrated TOEFL [3]

It is good comparison. But I am not sure if you have include last three sentences. It sound like a making inferences, which I think is not needed in that section. luck at the exam
eradulova   
Feb 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'I don't think people have to work hard to succeed' - Luck and success? [2]

"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has noting to do with success." Do you agree or disagree with quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

Success = Keeping Good Work



Success always goes with luck no matter how hard we work, although we need to work to be successful. Success is always provided by working, studying, exploring, etc. not exactly hard working but still working on.

Luck is chance, which has to be taken. In my opinion that chance is the most important thing in succeeding, just because if you are not in the right place in the right time to take that chance what is the matter how hard you work.

We do not need to pres ourselves and work hard if we know what is essential
and the way we are able to get it. First you need to plan out clearly.
Good plan is the best way to any topic we want to get. Than following that plan step by step we are already on the way of success.

Second we need constancy of purpose and patience. I agree we need to work for achieving in live, but it does not mean we have to press ourselves. Keeping good work is enough in any case.

In the end I don't think people have to work hard to succeed, but just to work and pay attention on what is going on around and to not miss their chance.
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