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Posts by janaylloyd09
Joined: Dec 9, 2008
Last Post: Dec 9, 2008
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 13
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janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / 'aspirations of being a lawyer' - This is a free write admission essay for Bethune [7]

It's unbelievable how each year, ever since I began high school, what appeared to be my perfectly laid plans for my future have deteriorated beyond my control. For as long as I can remember, I had aspirations of being a lawyer; I made it priority to enroll in all the law-related courses that my school offered. As I am now entering my senior year of high school, I seem to be totally oblivious to what I really want to major in.

As I look back on it now, I realize that I cannot become the lawyer that I once desired to be. It became obvious to me that, that dream was not only my own, but also that of my family. My parents often spoke of me becoming a lawyer, being very wealthy, and supporting the family's financial needs; and although their extreme enthusiasm continued throughout my childhood, mine rapidly diminished; until finally one day I decided that I no longer wanted to be a lawyer. I can remember how hard it seemed to tell my parents, of my final decision. I am not certain why I suddenly changed my mind about becoming a lawyer, but a part of me is certainly glad I did.

My ultimate goal for the future is to be content regardless of what I choose to do. I want to be comfortable with my decisions, be able to accept and forgive the things that I cannot change, and most of all be able to achieve the goals that I have set forth. It took some time but I've come to the conclusion that I cannot measure my success on the sole basis of others. I will only see the fruits of my labor if I do what is best for me.

I recognize that I don't have all the answers right now and that it is probably in my best interest that I don't. I have also accepted that no matter what I do in life, I will never be completely satisfied; and that's how it should be, always looking for something more, and always striving for something better.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / "Your family's cultures" Review this and give constructive criticism:-) [3]

This is another one of my admission essays:-) I personally, do not have confidence in this one but I need you guys opinion...Thanks:-)

Topic: Think of how your family's cultures and/or morals have helped shape you for the future.

Bon Voyage


Leaving for college is one of the most important stepping-stones in a child's life. Some kids anticipate this moment of independence, while others wish they could escape it. The morals and customs that have been instilled in us as children serves as a source to help us overcome these transitions with ease.

My family is firm believers that education is the only answer to success. My mom often states, "Anything worth having is worth working for." They have worked diligently in preparing me to labor for that, that I want, so when it's obtained it'll be of greater value. This has also taught me to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Realistically, we do tend to cherish the things that we've worked for as opposed to the things that we may've freely received.

Just as any other family, we have come face to face with our share of troubles. Some situations seem to be almost impossible to endure; and as a result, we will easily give in. Over the years, I've discovered that the easiest route to failure is defeat. In such events, our number one source is God. When battling what appears to be unbearable, we pray and trust that things can only get better.

With the traditions and values that have been inculcated in me over the years, I look forward to this dramatic change. I am confident that I hold the golden key to survival, and therefore I will become successful in all that I do.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / The Story of Janay - i need help continuing this essay:-( [4]

Thanks for your suggestions and I was considering going into details on what i did to define myself but i thought that would be a little too personal...though, i maybe wrong. if you have any suggestions on how i can include the personal aspects of my life, such as me being gay, without getting too too personal, i'll be glad to adopt them:-) thanks:-)
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / how your family's experience or cultural history enriched you or presented [3]

in the beginning, you stated off with a little background info, which was nice but you kind of lost me in the second paragraph. I grew a little bored. But, you recovered me towards the end!!!!!!! Restructure that second paragraph and you'll be good to go.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / The Story of Janay - i need help continuing this essay:-( [4]

Essay Topic: Describe an obstacle or bump in the road in you academic or personal life and how it has influenced who you are?

The Story of Janay

There comes a point in a child's life where one must break away from the tight grips of their parents. They must choose to live by what has been instilled in them, or simply deny these morals completely. This by far is one of the most challenging parts of a child's life and what seems to be the highlight of mine.

Growing up, every action was guided and determined by my parents. My ability to think and decide on my own grew to be very dependent. Being the only daughter of a pastor, I've always stood out among my peers like a swore thumb. So as far as I can remember, I have never been a "normal teenager." Religion is very important in my household and immediately following is education. Stripped of the chance to develop my social life; my life, decisions, and my future had already been determined for me based on my religious inheritance.

As a teenager, I decided that I would take control of my person. I started to view life in my own eyes. I had developed a social life beyond my parent's control. Finally, I was able to make my own decisions; many of which went against my religious beliefs. Many people will say this was a state of rebellion, but this was the point in my life where I found Janay.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / 'Successful future = successful school?' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? [3]

My Dream School : University of Central Florida

"A successful future is always motivated by a successful school!" There are many fantastic schools that would allow me to pursue my interest in psychology and event management, but upon my research, none of them amount to U.C.F. I am convinced that UCF is the school that will significantly educate me and allow me to become ethically and socially responsible. Being the only girl of an all-boy family, I am searching for change. I'm looking for a school that I can adjust to and allows me to feel at home even when I am away. I believe UCF is this school. I desire to be apart of a nurturing environment that will prepare me for my transition into the real world. Like others, I take my education very seriously. I believe that education is paramount and while building my knowledge about the school, I have found that we both share the same passion. The thing that I admire most about the school is that UCF is diverse and it supports an inclusive environment. No matter your appearance, beliefs, or opinions, there is always an open door of opportunity. UCF offers various amounts of majors as well as minors for individuals such as myself to choose from. No one will go unnoticed. There is something for everyone. It would be a great privilege to be apart of UCF, and if I were accepted to be apart of the U.C.F family, I would not only foresee it as a great honor and privilege, but I would consider it a tremendous blessing.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / Who am I? (200 words) [16]

i like it!!!!!:-) you should give a little more details but its not required. Its short and to the point. NIce.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / 'No time to take care of me' - the environment in which you were raised [4]

Minimize your word usage ( change do not to don't) that will help alot and do a spell check.Also; dont spend so much time talking about what happened over the years...paraphrase...give us a little insight and move on. Great essay though.
janaylloyd09   
Dec 9, 2008
Undergraduate / Uf essay "Describe a meaningful event" - 'I had changed someone's life' [6]

This is an awesome essay!!!!! I dont want to take anything from it, but I do think that you should minimize the imagery. It adds "flavor" to your work, but colleges aren't necessarily looking for "flavor." You should stick to the topic 100% and add a little humor throughout your work. All in all, it definitely an eye-catcher!!! Good Job!!