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Posts by yasin391
Joined: Dec 13, 2008
Last Post: Feb 24, 2009
Threads: 6
Posts: 22  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 28
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yasin391   
Feb 22, 2009
Undergraduate / NJIT what academic, educational, or other experiences have you had [4]

Question: What academic, educational, or other experiences have you had that provide a foundation for participating in NJIT's Honors College?

Essay:
Academic and extracurricular experiences are two of the significant aspects of my life that motivate me towards going after challenges. My academic foundation range from college courses in engineering, to AP classes, to honors classes. In addition, I have participated in extracurricular activities such as robotics and A.C.E. Mentor (architectural, construction and engineering mentor program), which became a supplement to my interest in engineering and honors related programs.

I believe that education is much like a journey and it is very similar to the journey that Odysseus took in the book "The Odyssey". One has to swim in the sea of obstacles in order to learn something new. During high school, I have taken engineering courses such as introduction to engineering design and principles of engineering which enabled me to gain some insight on the concepts taught in an engineering curriculum at college. I have taken a college course in engineering drawing which taught me how to do architectural and engineering drafting on the computer. These classes broadened my knowledge and were essentially the motivation of my choice in an engineering career. Additionally, these classes increased desire to participate in challenging programs and be a part of active things. I have taken Honors and AP classes such as AP Literature, AP Language, AP Biology, and honors English. I became familiar the challenge that college work involves. After taking one AP and Honors class, I decided to take another, because I had an aspiration to be in a challenge environment. It was an aspiration that made me seek out rigorous things so that I will learn new ideas. After participating in one challenging program, I wanted to relive those moments of constant activity. Now I am accustomed to dealing with difficult tasks and not getting frustrated. I have taken various journeys understanding ideas applied to the world in each class that I have taken, and those experiences made me want to relive those times of intriguing challenges.

I have participated in extracurricular activities such the A.C.E. Mentor program and robotics. Both programs involved several moments of challenges which help me exercise my ability to persevere and face obstacles to the fullest extent. While being in the A.C.E. Mentor program, I was a part of developing many conceptual building designs. There were times when there was a huge work load, all each of those moment were times that I were really involved in understanding things. All the concepts that I learned these programs stimulated my yearn for activates that are constantly active. It allowed me to realize that easy methods in life will not give you the full experience of life. Like in "The Odyssey", it is better to go through a difficult task yourself rather than have someone take you through it every step. My time with robotics and A.C.E. allowed me to have skills of being autonomous and collaborative. These programs strengthened my abilities to transcend from collaboration to times that you just need to tackle a task alone. I have the ability to work with others and work alone when needed and it was all due to participation in something other than what is required by a written curriculum. It is better to go beyond the minimum requirements because it creates more preparation for unsuspected obstacles.

All my experience in academics and even outside created a foundation for my desires to not take the easy path. Rather, I want to go for the challenging road. I have become accustomed to the road of difficulty and it fueled my desires to participate in rigorous programs. My experiences fueled interest in NJIT Honors College, which I believe is full of obstacles. NJIT Honors College appeals to my interest in learning through intriguing classes.

Can you please critique and check over my essay for errors (grammar, problems related to the question or problems related as an admissions essay) I appreciate it..

Thanks
yasin391   
Feb 22, 2009
Undergraduate / I longed to do a Sport Management Major; UT Austin- SOP [6]

You should not make your essay too long, because it would make the admissions tired... Also they may look at the length and feel intimidated by all the reading since that have thousands to check.. Keep your essay concise and to the point and less rambling and run-on's will be good for your admission.

Overall your ideas in the essay is very good just don't go crazy and make the essay too long.
yasin391   
Feb 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / Math is Crucial for Society [6]

CHANGE THIS: The most important part to me is the topics my parents share and discuss on the table.
TO: The most important part to me are the topics that my parents share and discuss on the table.

I think you should leave "My parents are both professionals with advanced degrees." out because the admissions office cares more about yourself. But if you want to use that you need to elaborate on how it relates to your topic.

When I learned that mathematicsmathematical methods are used in finance and operational researches to setup models and provide optimized solutions, I makemade my decision to study mathematics when in college.

I want to study mathematics in college. --(That sentence was redundant, you already stated that before) maybe you should rephrase it if you want to use that idea.

Overall your essay has good ideas, you just need to read over it and change some grammar errors. It would help more if you posted the question or prompt that you are answering in this essay on this forum... so people can relate it to the main question.
yasin391   
Jan 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Stevens Inst. of Tech: how your ungrad will contribute to 21st century [3]

Prompt: Describe how your undergraduate studies might enable you to contribute to improving our quality of life in the 21st century.

This 21st century marks a tremendous change in modern times, where people are making the impossible and the improbable into reality. An engineer in this 21st century is a major benefactor of our dynamic age. Through creative, inquisitive and analytical skills; engineers collaborate together to build astonishing structures, apply new technological concepts for new and even old products or structure, and to innovate the past for creating something new. I believe an undergraduate study in the field of engineering will enable me to grasp the knowledge and skills that an engineer possesses. It will be able to innovate, to renew, and to build on our society in order to help a wide range of people.

Recently I saw the new dynamic architecture concept in which buildings would actually spin. Rotating buildings was developed and conceptualized by collaboration of engineers and architects. In this rotating building, there are turbines which allow for the building to generate power. This is a great innovation of alternative energy systems to create renewable buildings that replenishes the resources that are consumed. This is one example of how engineering is taking on a major role in promoting wise consuming methods. It is crucial that we revive our earth create solutions to challenges which will help many people. Engineering is a service to the benefit of mankind through innovation, invention and conceptualization. I would be honored to provide this assistance to the world.

With an engineering study, I want to change how the world works. I want to build and renew the world in both developed and undeveloped areas. Moreover, I want make the world more positive so that less people suffer. I believe that as a resident of earth in this 21st century, I am responsible for utilizing my time in doing a positive thing for the environment. I believe that engineering is in itself an honorable aspect of our world. I don't take engineering as a job; instead it is something that I would passionate to be a part of every moment of my life. I have a determination, passion and ambition to engineering as I do for being a great asset to the world. I an undergraduate education in engineering will advance me towards fulfilling my obligation to being the greatest asset to the world.

Can someone edit my essay, and errors... problems... any advice
I appreciate it.

Thanks,
Yasin
yasin391   
Jan 12, 2009
Undergraduate / 'doing something constructive that fulfills my time' - Personal Essay (a sense of who you are) [9]

Polytechnic Institute of Technology Essay About My Path Towards Engineering

This is an essay for Polytechnic Institute and the essay prompt is general, it says choose a topic so I chose a topic about my decision on engineering and how I came to that path.

Can you please edit my essays, errors... incoherence, etc? Anything I need to change to make the essay flow better?
yasin391   
Jan 12, 2009
Essays / Is there UT word limit? 'it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text' [10]

When it says that the essay must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text this means that the maximum is 120 lines with 80 characters in each line as AmyRemus. But an essay with 1" on each side margin has 100 characters with no spaces typically. The college is just telling you a maximum. If you want to be safe sort of, you could just go for about 500 words for the essay.
yasin391   
Jan 12, 2009
Undergraduate / The two required essays for UT, need critique [9]

The essays are great, first one explained your grandfather's impact on your life in a orderly and unified essay. Transitions between paragraphs are great. For the second essay, your is fine. You explained materialism in your perspective as it related to you and how it continues to impact others. You even included exemplification of black Friday to materialism.

Great Essays...
yasin391   
Jan 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / Leadership experience - leader is one who learns from their success and failure [4]

Great essay, you answered the question but there are some errors. Overall it is great.

A good leader is one who learns from their success and failure. My experience as team captain of my basketball team has taught me many valuable lessons. In my career as an athlete I have participated on teams that lost, as well as teams that were successful. As a leader on these teams I have learned very many valuable lessons that have helped me develop into a strong individual.

Playing on the losing team is never fun. We all strive to be successful in all that we do. But our failures serve as a platforms for us to vault to success. Playing on a losing team have taught me the values of perseverance, determination and hard work. When the score of a basketball game is lopsided, the easiest thing to do is give up. But as the captain of my basketball team, I learned that giving up is declaring your own premature defeat. Persevering through hard losses gave my team the determination to work harder in practice and in our games. Our hard work translated into more wins.

Although success is sweet, you can not be content with what you have achieve. You must strive to exceed your own achievement. This is an important lesson that I have learned through my experience as captain of my basketball team. When my team won games, we were happy with our success. But we were never content, our desire to win only grew stronger with every win. My basketball team was able to make it to the City of Raleigh championship game, because we never put a ceiling on our success.

The lessons that I have taken away from my experience as a captain on my basketball will be instrumental in my success both at a collegiate level as well as in my career. Perseverance, determination and hard work are the tools that I need to rise from my failures. And in my success, striving to surpass my own excellence will ensure that I will never be content with my achievement. I will only continue to work on improving on what I have already accomplished.
yasin391   
Jan 12, 2009
Undergraduate / Dilemma on writing an essay on 'a person who has impact on your life' [14]

If you want to right about a person who impacted on your life, then you should write how you were when you did not meet the person, then explain a transition that developed from you meeting the person which is in your position a teacher. If you did not experience any changes from that person then that person did not impact your life to a point that you can write about that person. But if the teacher did give confidence, then you did change. Just write about the details.
yasin391   
Jan 11, 2009
Student Talk / Application Question January [127]

If the essays are optional then you don't have to do it if you can not submit them by the deadline. The best idea is to ask the admissions office directly about this, they give great help in questions like these.
yasin391   
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / just a quick question about admission essay formats [9]

I think you should double space it since the essay is uploaded. If you are copying and pasting it on to the site, then you would not use hard returns - no hitting the enter key in the essay because when applying for Columbia they specifically wrote that. But I'm not really sure about the common application. It should be the same. Just double space, indent, etc to be safe. Or maybe ask the admissions directly, its the best way to make sure...

Hope it goes well for your application.
yasin391   
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / 'doing something constructive that fulfills my time' - Personal Essay (a sense of who you are) [9]

NEW ESSAY
Here is the NEW essay:
I believe that I am a dedicated, intelligent, and ambitious person. I am satisfied when I am doing something constructive that fulfills my time without wasting one nanosecond. These ideas influence my life and continually guide me as I move forward. They urge me to go for challenges and easily adapt to the changes that happen in life.

I think that I am the architect and engineer of my life. If I do something productive, then my life is filled with experiences that I will never regret.

...
yasin391   
Dec 29, 2008
Undergraduate / 'doing something constructive that fulfills my time' - Personal Essay (a sense of who you are) [9]

Here is the prompt for my admissions essay:

Write an essay which conveys to the reader a sense of who you are. Possible topics may include, but are not limited to, experiences which have shaped your life, the circumstances of your upbringing, your most meaningful intellectual achievement, the way you see the world - the people in it, events great and small, everyday life - or any personal theme which appeals to your imagination. Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to approximately 250-500 words (or 1-2 pages).

Here is the essay:

Ambitious, motivated, and even invincible are ideas and characteristics that I strive towards being every day of my life. I am a person who is most satisfied when doing something constructive and fulfill time without wasting a nanosecond. I urge myself to accept challenges and never accept present success as the end. I believe that there is always room to develop, improve and innovate the past into something new. These ideas influence my life and are the blueprints towards my milestones.

I think that I am the architect and engineer of my life. If I do something productive, then my life is filled with experiences that I will never regret. As in any blueprint, there are decisions that contribute to the elements of a product. For me choices and desires to do certain things make up my life and determine where I go. Choices and desires are two elements that will always affect me and whatever I do it involves making a decision. When deciding on a career goal, I saw my future in civil engineering because it involves my idea of infusing my life with productive things and fulfilling my life to the fullest extent. My ambition and dedication to absolute fulfillment in life drive me towards an engineering career. With these ideas, I dedicate my life in doing my best despite the intricacy of a task. I am prepared to accept any challenge that comes my way. When someone asks for help I take that request as an opportunity for me to learn something so that I can build on my knowledge and innovate it in to something that one day will contribute to a goal that I have. Even if whatever I am given is something that is completely new to me, I consider it as a chance for me to apply what I know to realize something that I don't know. I have no boundaries to the tasks that I can complete. As a result of thirst to break the limitations of the unknown and I have decided to apply to Polytechnic Institute.

After looking at the campus of Polytechnic Institute from website photos and a visit there, I saw that this is the ideal college for me to continue towards an engineering profession. Polytechnic Institute is the archetype of engineering and contemporary education. It is very accessible to students through the benefits of it being in an urban setting. It is one of the few institutions in New York City providing engineering as one of the academic majors. I believe that from Polytechnic Institute I will be able to acquire knowledge to the highest potential, of not just engineering but about life, people and the entire world at various perspectives. I am not applying to Polytechnic Institute just because it is a well known college; instead I am applying because I see that it fits my ability and capacity of learning. It is my desire to have the opportunity to become a great asset to the world and I believe it starts here at Polytechnic Institute.

Can you edit my essay and see if give me pointers. Is this essay too general, any errors, pr any problems involving the essay related to the prompt?

Waiting for reply... thanks
yasin391   
Dec 29, 2008
Undergraduate / Columbia short response (Rigorous, diversified, and accessible) [4]

Here is the prompt for columbia's short answer.

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why:

Rigorous, diversified, and accessible are some of the many appealing aspects of Columbia that attacts me. Looking at the curriculum and its organization, I believe that Columbia presents a rigorous challenge to my educational aspirations. In addition Columbia has diversity in its population of students which will enable me to cooperate and interact with a wide range of people. Additionally, the accessibility of Columbia and in the heart of Manhattan draws me more to this school. I think that such qualities in a college will allow me to learn the most I can.

can you please edit my response to see if there is any errors, need for change or incoherence.
yasin391   
Dec 14, 2008
Undergraduate / Another Essay: It is now 2013. How has Macaulay Honors College changed you? [6]

Instead I decided to combine everything in one paragraph to include some internal transition inside on paragraph. So can you read this and see if it needs any changes before I submit it as my undergraduate admissions essay? I value your consideration and effort to helping me.

Thanks
Yasin
yasin391   
Dec 14, 2008
Undergraduate / Another Essay: It is now 2013. How has Macaulay Honors College changed you? [6]

Isn't repetition a use of anaphora? But, I think you are right. I should combine my paragraphs. Also in this essay since it is an essay I would need at least 2 paragraphs so if I write my introduction and body paragraph in one paragraph and end with a concluding paragraph would that work?
yasin391   
Dec 13, 2008
Essays / I need help with this text; how to analyze it critically? [4]

I read your text and believe it means that even though a translator is thought to translate things and that translating does not perverse the original text for an example if you translate Chinese to English the understanding will not be the same. So this text is saying that the translators don't always lose the meaning in translations. Sometimes they might make a piece of writing and translate their writing to make it simpler. This text relates this idea that translators do sometimes preserve the ideas to Dante's work. Dante's work was translated in English and the preface explained that this translation is generally valid and preserves the core idea of the text.

There is a relation of Dante's preface in his translated works to the ideas about translators and this reference to Dante is used to support the idea that the text made in the beginning the often translated things can have same meaning but different writing which in this text is compared and contrasted to a violin and piano which are two different instruments still have the same music.

Please reply back if you don't understand something.
yasin391   
Dec 13, 2008
Undergraduate / Another Essay: It is now 2013. How has Macaulay Honors College changed you? [6]

This is another essay and the question is as follows:
It is now 2013. How has The Macaulay Honors College changed you? (350 words or less)
It is my last year of my undergraduate class and I am graduating with bachelors in civil engineering from City College. While attending City College I had an experience far beyond my expectations. I learned a lot of ideas that will enable me to be well prepared for my graduate studies and my future career. I developed collaboration, communication and an analytical skill that is allows me to undertake any challenge that comes in my way.

It is my last year of my undergraduate years and I am graduating with bachelors in engineering from City College. While attending City College I had an experience far beyond my expectations due a prestigious program that I was a part of. I learned a lot of ideas that will enable me to be well prepared for my graduate studies and my future career. I developed collaboration, communication and analytic skills that allow me to undertake any challenges come in my way. While studying at City College I had the benefits of scholarships and opportunities which enabled me to explore many fields of engineering. In my four years at City College, I was in a diverse environment with people of many ethnic backgrounds. This is what made me more collaborative and allowed me to develop great communicational skills which will be very helpful in an engineering career. Additionally, I gained a greater ability to comprehend ideas at a higher level. This analytical skill was developed through many opportunities such as internships, trips, and programs that were offered to develop a stronger aptitude for understanding complex concepts. The progress that I have gained from my college years was all due a program in City College known as the Macaulay Honors program. All of the accomplishments that I have were possible due to my participation in the Macaulay Honors Program. This prestigious program gave those scholarships, internships and education opportunities that I had in my college years. Therefore, without the Macaulay Honors Program I would not have accumulated such an exceptional intelligence and ability to grasp new concepts. The Macaulay Honors program made me into an attentive, open minded and competent person. Now graduating from undergraduate school, it is an honor to be graduating as a student who took part in the Macaulay Honors Program.
yasin391   
Dec 13, 2008
Undergraduate / College Admissions Essay about dish that holds a strong assoicative to you. [7]

I am writing and essay for an undergraduate college admission which includes the following prompt:

Our association of food with culture is generally automatic and unquestioned. Food, because it is so inextricably tied with need and pleasure, becomes the nexus of rich association. In this essay, tell us about a dish that holds a strong associative power for you and teach us something that is of personal importance to you. (500 words or less)

Here is the essay:
As a person of Bangladeshi background, my culture and food is a very important part of my life. One dish that holds a strong associative power for me is mishti which is generally sweetened curd made of milk, sugar and curd. This sweet has a strong associative power for me because it connects me with culture and maintains my heritage. As a traditional food it is great as a snack and dessert.

Many people buy sweet from the store, but my parents usually make it at home, so it creates more attraction to tradition. Similarly, in Bangladesh some people have mishti (sweetened curd) made at their home. Mishti is one of the many foods that are made at home, that create a nexus of association in ethnicity and location. Foods like mishti helps me to be connected with my Bangladeshi culture and allows me to remember my ethnic background while being away from Bangladesh.

In addition to culture, it also maintains a sense of heritage. Mishti is usually served in a party or celebration. It is also used as a gift to people on holidays and creates a tradition, which binds Bengalish together. Friends, family and even neighbors, are part of this traditional way; sharing mishti, to show their satisfaction. Mishti is one of the Bengali foods that helps people to live together and also serves as a gift card in food form. It maintains tradition and helps people to participate in the action of giving.

While being in such as diverse environment like New York, culture foods like Mishti allow me to feel like I still belong to this Bangladeshi culture. It is very important for me to maintain my cultural background, because while living far away from Bangladesh, the food allows me to have a constant reminder of my distant home. It serves as a bridged of New York and Bangladesh. In events such as holidays of Eid and Ramadan, Mishti is one cultural foods that allow family and friends to come together and share this food as a commemoration of the heritage we are still a part of.
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