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Posts by Shayke_96
Joined: Sep 10, 2012
Last Post: Sep 13, 2012
Threads: 6
Posts: 19  

From: Nigeria

Displayed posts: 25
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Shayke_96   
Sep 13, 2012
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [413]

hey everyone, my name is Sekemi from Nigeria but my "English" name is Rebecca or just call me Becky...anyways I've visited France its a very beautiful place...but I heard Italy is better..so I want to go there during the summer...just wondering...what's Italy like?
Shayke_96   
Sep 13, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Psychology and Economics studies' - My Cornell supplemental essay [6]

Cornell's prompt:Describe your intellectual interest, their evolution and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Art and Sciences to further explore your interest, intended major or field of study.

My passion for psychology all started when I watched Color of Night, quite hilarious but true. Sitting there, watching the so-called "flopped" movie directed by Richard Rush with Bruce Willis as his main actor, I found myself drawn to the movie; from the depressed state at which Dr. Bill Capa (Bruce Willis) was when his patient committed suicide right in front of him, to the stoppage of Jane Marsh's characters' attempted suicide. I found it intriguing that someone could help change a person's personality for the better by just figuring his/her behavioral structure. I became intrigued with the scientific relevance to the human behavior, brain functioning, perception, motivation. I told my dad about this passion and he directed me to Cornell University. Knowing much about the school from his colleagues, he was very confident. I decided to satisfy my anticipation by researching about the school. Cornell's website brought a lot of interesting information to my knowing of the school. As I read about Cornell's outstanding philosophy, its diverse selections of courses and programs and its fervent devotion to the arts and sciences, I knew then that Cornell University is my choice.

Well I must say after that movie, I read any book that could feed my interest. I learned a lot about Psychology, I became interested in biology just to satisfy my knowledge about the human brain. Though in my school, psychology is not offered, I have made sure that my interest in this subject never dies.

My major line of study is Economics, but I know with Psychology I would be able to develop society in many other ways and I won't throw my intellectual interest into the waste bin. With help from the Cornell's diverse programs, I would be able to master the art of merging my sole love for Psychology with my career root-Economics. Having Psychology as my minor, the Department of Psychology would help by continuing the evolution of psychology in me, the diverse research programs would widen my horizon about this art and give me more insights. I have no doubts that the student body and staff at Cornell will help me achieve my goal.
Shayke_96   
Sep 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: There is nothing uneducated people can teach educated people. Do you agree? [4]

Your essay is very good, organized your thoughts well..but you had some grammatical errors...i mentioned two..so like go over it...and some phrases in your essay need to be re-phrased so just go over the whole essay again..=D

an uneducated person.
Some wasare so addicted to drugs that they spend all their money on drugs and could not continue studying.
Shayke_96   
Sep 12, 2012
Essays / uchicago essay - "Is the truth really necessary"; essay topic [2]

ok..the college really wants to test my creative side of writing..so what i'm going for is.." Is the truth really necessary " i really need some pointers and it would be considered if anyone would give me a different topic.

Thank you.
Shayke_96   
Sep 12, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Living with parents and generation gap' - Topic: iBT writing [11]

hey..mahsaa could you please send the words to my email address too...its beckyesan@rocketmail.com.
by the way mahtabk..your essay is good...if one gets through the grammatical errors...so try and work on that okay
=D
Shayke_96   
Sep 12, 2012
Undergraduate / Applicataion for private HS any tips ...thanks [2]

Hi, thanks for the critique...thanks also for reminding us of the unsung heroes ...but there are really some corrections you have to make...so go over it..ok =D
Shayke_96   
Sep 12, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I will be a World Bank president' draft...of my stanford essay [4]

You already know how it all begins post knock-knock-knock-who's there?:"Hi my name is...and I love...I am..." I am not writing you to tell you all my good qualities, but to give you a straight description of the real me, so that you would get a fair warning before we become roommates

.
Get ready to say "hi" to Stuffy-two foot one inch tall, short for a human being but not for a teddy (he doesn't like being called Ted...dy). I am so attached to him. He is such a good listener, so he'll listen while we do the talking (still working on his communication skills) I hope he gets his visa. I think that's all for Stuffy. I'm a nail-biting, hair-twisting, slightly whining normal teen. I actually would love to do away with the first three adjectives and wouldn't mind some help from...you. If these don't come to you as slightly negative, I wonder what would. You'll have enough time to sort out my other negatives, but I'm hoping there aren't more. That's all for baggage.

I hope to share my culinary dexterity (forgive my unnecessary grandiloquence) with you -get you to understand food the African way, exchange iconic recipes with you, and eventually add some Africa-sensitive taste buds to your tongue; and hopefully vice-versa. I feel good food is the perfect medicine for pessimism (demand an explanation when we meet). Believe me, I'm an optimist.

Feel free to laugh at this: I will be a World Bank president (still working on my acceptance speech). Jokes apart, I really want that job and I understand the responsibility and hard-work it demands. I have started with the right step by coming here-Stanford. I really hope to be a friend and a confidant to you. I know you'll be the same to me-can't help but be optimistic.

Kind of like this right.
Shayke_96   
Sep 11, 2012
Undergraduate / family is what most important. Stanford essay. [3]

Choosing colleges aren't as easy as they seem. After a long, strenuous argument with my parents, I succumbed to their choices and made them mine. I have always wondered why I have always listened to my parents' point of views even though I didn't agree with them. Then the Stanford essay question came up, what is important to you and why? It wasn't easy, thinking through all the thing that are wonderful in life and trying to relate them to what was important to me. I thought about sleep-they won't take me seriously if I actually wrote about this-drifted off to food-they would think I'm some big girl who doesn't know anything apart from food-before I could continue, my mum called me and explained some crucial thing I needed to learn before I get back to school, it then clicked. Family. That's why I always listen to them because they are the most important priority to me. Growing up isn't very easy. I have to stay up with my studies as well as have a social life in school; obviously I would have some complications merging to opposite styles. Before things went sour with one of my friends, we were like two peas in a pot; we would follow each other everywhere. Then we had an issue and I didn't know what to do. It involved jeopardizing our relationship, and I didn't want that to happen, so I went ahead and asked my mum for advice. She told me that with friends one can be unreliable. They come and they go, so one should not make them their sole priority. If the situation is about my academics I should face my studies and not worry about what they might say. I was demoralized after my mum talked to me but what could I do. I decided to tell my friend what exactly I felt. Unfortunately, we couldn't sort out or differences and we parted ways, but what I realized after the episode was that my mum was right and another thing was my family would always be with me even through my stuff times. I believe that my family is the most important thing to me because unlike other people who may manipulate one do contrary to what one wants to achieve, one's family would always be there taking he/she through the right path.
Shayke_96   
Sep 11, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Some groups come naturally'; university of michigan supplement essay [4]

Okay, so please how exactly would you phrase the third sentence you mentioned so that it would be smooth.
For the fourth phrase you mentioned I was trying to convey the fact that the truth is painful but it should be the foundation for all institutions.

So could you help me phrase that properly.
For the last phrase you mentioned, I was trying to portray myself as a leader who is going to be known in the financial world, so could you like re-phrase it.

Thank you so much though for the criticism.
Shayke_96   
Sep 11, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Some groups come naturally'; university of michigan supplement essay [4]

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things)shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong and descibe that community and your place within it (Approximately 250 words)

Some groups come naturally. They choose us: ethnicity, racial backgrounds, geography etcetera. These labels are emblazoned on us regardless of our resistance or rejection or acceptance of them. Since they are just labels and not the product, ideology defines the community I am most attached to. Ideology is my chosen community. I believe that life should be where our weaknesses and strengths are used to complement one another, by this I mean "interdependence". Equality-as inconvenient a truth as it may seem at times-is a divine concept and should be the sieve for actions, laws and judgment. Truth-even though thorny-should be protected with both hands and should be the foundation of institutions that eye longevity. Nelson Mandela, Mr. Femi Esan (my dad), Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr, Mahatma Gandhi-all symbols of selflessness-recognize these truths of freedom. As a World Bank President in the making, this ideology will help me understand the real function of this humanity-friendly body that I hope to be part of in a few years. My own part in this group is quite simple: I play the role of a crusader for level playing-fields, honesty and dignity, taking my cue from the aforementioned mavericks. Society seems to be in short supply of a community like the one to which I belong. I hope to spread this community of great selfless people to the shores of University of Michigan and I know there would be many like me.
Shayke_96   
Sep 10, 2012
Undergraduate / "Aviation"- the word in which I found male domination; Chasing High Altitudes [3]

Chasing High Altitudes.

"Aviation." The mere sound of the word alone instructs me to see 'masculine.' Male pilots, even the co-pilots are male. Male...male...male...I seem to be enslaved to the paradigm. With the misguided assumption that the male species are the sole heir to what we know as humanity. The photograph on the book in front of me-Amelia Earhart's-gives me great hope, and makes me appreciate, a great deal, the very fine, renowned lady. Now, I am slightly relieved of the chains of stereotype and maybe chauvinism. Her striking pose demands and commands respect: her piercing gaze, her slightly lop-sided smile, that resembles a smirk, the pilot get-up and her owning of that plane with all the confidence in the world.

As I read on, in the hope of finding what made her thick, I saw her troubles: the discrimination, the male chauvinism, the believed image for pilots. My quest to know more about this enthralling character led my antsy fingers to the doors of Wikipedia. And it gave its take on her life: Introduction? scroll down... Childhood? stop... 'A spirit of adventure seemed to abide in the Earhart children...' Education? glance...scroll down... 1918 Spanish flu pandemic? stop...'Chronic sinusitis was to significantly affect Earhart's flying and activities in later life, and sometimes even on the airfield she was forced to wear a bandage on her cheek to cover a small drainage tube.' Her ever popular 1928 transatlantic flight, her transition from being dubbed 'Lady Lindy' to the apt 'Queen of the Air', and her career-defining 1932 transatlantic solo flight that also doubled as a game changer; re-writing aviation history forever, especially for women. Then the other parts of Amelia where facts mingled with myth. All in all, she was, to me, an extraordinary lady by all standards. She reduced, in a remarkable way, the number of excuses any woman would have for not excelling in whatever she does, regardless of society's perception.

Armed with the right mindset, the Amelia Earhart slash Madam C.J. Walker "can-do" spirit, I now strongly hold the view that the norm is not necessarily the truth. That basically, life and its myriad challenges may actually be the needed wind to soar to heights of greatness. I have also realized that people may also misinterpret great dreams for over-ambition. Now I know that a dream is truly great when it is not selfish; when it liberates and inspires others. I hope to be that big a dreamer. Or even bigger. I can smell the whiff of challenges in the wind but also the fragrance of success.
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