Undergraduate / 66 nursing home/ COVE; Colgate/ Community essay [8]

Desperately need help with this one. Please critique as harsh as possible. I'll return the favor.

Colgate prompt (250 words)
We honor the many different forms of diversity in our community. Your perspective is valuable because it comes from your life experiences, family backgrounds, and culture. Please tell us about yourself, how you plan to share your perspective with the Colgate Community, and what you hope to learn from other members of the community.

As my parents were always occupied with work, taking care of my diabetic grandpa and my gouty grandma became my responsibility since I was eleven. Cooking meals, doing housework, taking Grandpa and Grandma to their physical therapy sessions seemed arduous at first, yet these were easy tasks compared to accepting the fact that my grandparents, who brought me up since infancy, returned to the vulnerability of delicate children and hiding my worries and trepidation. But through taking Grandma to the ER and calling an ambulance for Grandpa, I have become more mature at handling difficult situations.

Looking after my grandparents, volunteering at a nursing home and assisting with elderly care at a hospital all made me realize how the aged long for care and affection. I hope to continue my endeavor in providing emotional support to the old and encourage Colgate fellows to visit the 66 nursing homes near Hamilton, NY. I would also love to dedicate myself to setting up overseas exchange programs between Colgate, Taiwan and China. With such connection, not only can the Colgate community experience Chinese culture in depth, but Taiwanese and Chinese students can benefit from exploring their potential through an elite liberal arts education. At Colgate, I would hold onto the opportunity of learning new perspectives from the diverse student body and discovering new ways to contribute to the community by joining COVE. A Colgate education will help me fulfill my aspirations of becoming a social entrepreneur and advocating the empowerment of the disadvantaged.

Undergraduate / BU Supplement/ BU's diversity and global programs [2]

Hey, guys! This is my supplement for BU--my safety school. But stil, I don't want to risk with a bad essay. So please critique as harsh as possible and I'll return the favor!

Combining an elite liberal arts education with the resources of a leading research university, located in the heart of a great city with ample prestigious internships and job opportunities, encouraging scholastic exploration through class discussions and tutorials-surely these are all highlights of Boston University. Nevertheless, as a fanatic of cross-cultural communication and ideas, I am most attracted by BU's diversity and global programs. With students from 50 US states and more than 100 countries, BU gathers talented students from all around the world and enables us to cultivate cosmopolitan perspectives and become global citizens. I have always enjoyed getting to know people from all cultures and backgrounds, and I am sure the diversity of BU shall grant me the precious opportunity to make friends with passionate, ambitious young scholars. In addition, BU is one of the few schools that provide numerous study abroad programs for science students. As a prospective chemistry major, I am excited to find out that I can choose to study in Auckland, Madrid, Dresden etc. I believe that my amiable, adaptable and perseverant personality coupled with my strong background in academics makes me an exemplary candidate to BU.

Undergraduate / 'top-notch liberal arts education' - Vassar Supplement Essay [3]

Hey, people. I really need help with this essay! I think it is a little derivatiev but I am having trouble to make it miore engaging. Any advice is appreciated, and I will return the favor.

Essay prompt: "How did you learn about Vassar and what aspects of our college do you find appealing?"

"Vassar rejected to merge with Yale?!" I exclaimed when Mom told me this surprising information. Almost instantly, my astonishment was overcome by curiosity, yearning to learn more about the gutsy institution of Vassar. As I read more about Vassar on US News, Wikipedia and the school's official website, my feelings for her have developed beyond reverence, but an admiration and eagerness to become part of its community. I believe Vassar could be my match.

Vassar's allowing students' high level of academic freedom suits me perfectly. Ever since childhood, I evinced the sense of maturity, independence and unconformity beyond my age. At fifteen, I gave up the prerogative to study in the best comprehensive high school in Dongguan for attending the international college preparatory program of Global Assessment Certificate. While my excellence in academics convinced people that I could strive for world-renowned American universities, I was the only one in my class that applies for liberal arts colleges. I have always enjoyed thinking independently and making my own decisions. Therefore, Vassar's unconventional tenet of allowing students to design their own curricula captivates me. I grudge rushing into a major before figuring out my true calling in life and Vassar grants me the opportunity to explore my interests and potential in different academic fields: from Chemistry to Women's Studies, from Psychology to Art History, from Theatre to Urban Studies...

I adore the diversity of Vassar. With students from 31 countries and 46 states of America, the school itself is a salad bowl and a platform for cross-cultural communication. Growing up in Taipei, Taiwan and moving to Dongguan, China at the age of 11, I am shaped into a resilient, adaptable person who is confident in being able to contribute to Vassar's diversity. Apart from my basic duty of assisting other international students to cope with possible homesickness and culture shock, I have the ambition to help set up some more overseas exchange programs in China and Taiwan. I hope that Vassar students can have the chance to experience Chinese culture and I know that many Chinese and Taiwanese schools are willing to collaborate with American colleges. Just take my high school as an example, our Principal of International Studies showed a lot of interest when I mention my aspiration of establishing western-eastern cultural communication programs when I am in America and said she would assist me as much as possible.

I appreciate Vassar's dedication towards providing top-notch liberal arts education and I want to spread the greatness of Vassar to students in my first hometown of Taiwan and my second hometown of China. I notice that while the majority of Taiwanese and Chinese people are quite familiar with American national universities, very few of them had acquaintance with liberal arts colleges. They are somehow unaware of the tenet and the pursuit of a liberal arts education. Therefore, in my prospective future in Vassar, I hope to write periodic reviews on online forums such as Chinese Undergraduate in the United States to introduce liberal arts education with first-hand anecdotes to Taiwanese and Chinese students. With support from accommodating Vassar students and professors, we could open up a different perspective for Taiwanese and Chinese students when they are making their college choices.

Vassar has all I could and could not ask for in a college. While finding out about all the jubilance Vassar could offer, I seek to better myself in the hope of becoming an engaging presence among the diverse, vigorous Vassar community. I know I am the right match for Vassar.