Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by koreanincambo
Joined: Oct 15, 2012
Last Post: Nov 27, 2012
Threads: 6
Posts: 11  
From: Cambodia

Displayed posts: 17
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
koreanincambo   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Building a computer instead of playing video games' - UC #1 -the world you come from [2]

Computer, Cambodia, and politics. Can you see a correlation between these words? Well, I can. These three words adequately describe my world, dreams and aspirations. Let me show you now how the three seemingly irrelevant words can connect to describe me.

My family moved to Cambodia in 2007, when I was 11 years old. Yes, Cambodia, the country of Angkor Wat, one of the former seven wonders of the world, the country where the lifeline of Southeast Asia, the Mekong River, flows, the country of killing fields. I spent my whole adolescence this unique developing country, going through changes and growing together.

Like many boys, I grew up with computer games. I often spent time playing computer games such as Starcraft, Warcraft, Age of Empires, Sid Meier's Civilization... I played them all. I was never the best gamer, so my lack of gaming skills increased my computer usage, and the more time I spent time on the computer, the more my interest in computers grew. Internet, Word processor, Excel, Powerpoint, and numerous other software that I didn't even know about came into my sight, and I wanted to know what they were and learn to use them. By the age of seven, I had learned to use them proficiently. As I grew up, instead of playing computer games, I built my own computer with separate components in grade 8, started developing websites for school events in grade 9, and took computer classes in school. I just love computer.

Now, that shows quite a bit about the two words, but doesn't quite explain politics and the coherence between the words. It's coming. Just be patient and bear with me.

Living in Cambodia, I naturally studied its modern history. It is truly eventful. It was colonized by the French, achieved independence, then went through a coup d'ĂŠtat led by a general, who was overthrown by the Khmer Rouge leading to the killing fields, and it now has a prime minister who has been in power for 27 years, without much changes in the government. A promising country expected to prosper like no other country did in the 1960s, was destroyed by the few unelected leaders. My friend's grandmother, a Khmer Rouge victim, told me during the interview for my school assignment about the effect of Khmer Rouge.

"All of my brothers and sisters were killed in front of my eyes during the Khmer Rouge era. Bad ruling ruined not only mine, but lives of thousands of people in Cambodia."

Imagine how devastated you would be losing all of your family in front of your eyes. These two short sentences were enough to show me the significance of politics and make me feel impelled to go into the world of politics.

Can you see the importance of the three words for me? You probably do. Let me connect them together for you.
I have planned out my future myself already. I will study what I love, Computer Science, in university, get a job in cyber security industry, and establish my own venture business and taste success. However, I will not stop there, for my ultimate goal is, using established foundation from all the experience, to jump into politics, giving service to others, to never let anything like what happened in Cambodia again. I aspire to make these plans come true, and I know that I will.
koreanincambo   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / UC prompt 1: My grandmother, my rock [8]

I'm not the best essay writer, but since the prompt says 'tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.', i think you should talk about your dreams and aspirations in order to show how your grandmother influenced your dreams.

Just a suggestion :P
koreanincambo   
Oct 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'donation to an orphanage in Cambodia' - an extracirricular activity [4]

"Our NISC card aims to raise the funds for our ultimate goal of financially supporting the National Borey Orphanage and School..." The presentation ended without any problems. Good. He will sign the contract, and yes, he did.

As the vice president of my school student council, I initiated a discount card of several local businesses in order to raise funds for donation to an orphanage in Cambodia. This exceptional experience of negotiating with business managers and dealing with official business contracts gave me a feeling of what life would be like in the society after my studies. But what was more important was the fulfillment I gained from donating. When the council actually succeeded in creating the target profit, I felt what it is really like to persevere with a goal and achieve that feat. When we actually got to hand the commodities and money to the orphanage, I was struck by this indescribable sense of achievement looking at the exhilarated faces of the children and the caretakers of the orphanage.
koreanincambo   
Oct 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Reading - bright and dark sides' - Common App Short Answer [5]

It looks great. My suggestion is that maybe

Reading teaches me how to be a considerate daughter, a good friend, a reliable leader and a nice human being.

you could delete "nice human being". I believe that when listing, 3 is the best number, or if you want to keep it, i think you might have better words than nice human being.

Also, it's just my opinion, but to me,

the places I have reached and haven't

looks better when it is

the places I have and haven't reached

Just suggestions. You're essay looks much better than mine!
koreanincambo   
Oct 23, 2012
Essays / Essay on multiple intelligences and learning styles [14]

If you want to give it a philosophical view, you could talk about what "talent" and "intelligence" are, stating that they may have different meanings to different people
koreanincambo   
Oct 18, 2012
Undergraduate / 'From Korea to Cambodia - how it changed my life' - CommonApp Essay [2]

"You think you're smart enough?" "That's too difficult for you." "No, you should face the reality!" When I told others that I want to study Computer Sciences and Physics in university, most told me things like these. They told me that those majors are too difficult for me, I wouldn't be able to manage, and I should look rationally at what I am really capable of. But, what if I AM 'smart' enough?

I'm from a very traditional Korean family. I lived in Korea my whole life, and I had never travelled out of Korea. I wasn't one of those genius Korean students who excel in mathematics or science, but a typical Korean student who lived lukewarm life, with no abysmal tragedies or excellent achievements. Then, in 2007, my family moved to Cambodia when I was 11 for my father's business plans. I hated it. I couldn't believe that I was moving to Cambodia, a country that I thought was in Africa, and had to learn to speak a different language.

No one had expected anything great from me. However, as I started a new life in Cambodia, innumerable changes came my way. I was called a math genius. Due to a highly motivating environment and a whole new curriculum, the guy who had been a typical student in school just 6 months ago suddenly turned into a math 'genius'. That was when I first thought that I could actually do something. Like many other Asian parents, my parents began expecting more and more. I was expected to receive high grades, especially in math and science. Although I had decent scores in school, I was never enough to satisfy the expectations of the people around me, including my parents. They still doubted me. People told me to look for majors that are easy to study and universities that are easy to get into. However, my experience in Cambodia had reformed my attitude. Growing up in a developing country and watching the country develop with the people achieving great feats, I was able to see that I have much privileged compared to deprived people around the world, and that if they can achieve so much, I can do more, if not the as much. What others tell me doesn't matter. It is my passion that I must follow.

My parents still want me to be an ordinary dentist. Others still tell me that I'm not good enough. But Lao Zi (Lao Tse) said, "One who is content to satisfy his needs finds that contentment endures". I'm going to pursue what my passion and mature, pondered decisions tell me to. My decision is final. I am open to adjustments in the future; but at this stage I am confident the path I chose is the path will pave for myself. I will prove myself capable and competent. I didn't believe the saying "nothing is impossible", but now, I believe nothing is impossible until you try it.

I'm applying to Cornell ED, but i don't know if the essay is good enough... help me!
koreanincambo   
Oct 18, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My coach and team mates' - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign [5]

It looks very dynamic and exciting, but the topic states "tell us something about yourself that isn't covered elsewhere in this application, some interest or experience of yours that you think the University of Illinois should know about as part of the admissions review.", so i think you need a bit more of introspection sort of thing or tell more about yourself instead of describing the situation.
koreanincambo   
Oct 18, 2012
Undergraduate / UVA Supplement- Secretly Like Ghost Adventures. [5]

I think it always helps to write the effects of something. You could do what cooldudebill suggested, and on top of that, to make the essay more insightful, how it affected you as a person, how you feel about it, etc.
koreanincambo   
Oct 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'student council experience extracirricular activity ways I can make it sound better? [3]

I have two years of experience with the student council of my high school, one year as the secretary and the other year as the vice president. When I was the vice president of the council, the president and I came up with an idea to make discount cards of local businesses to donate the profits to a local organization in Cambodia. In order to create the card, I had to contact the business managers of businesses, present to them the details of the plan, and create official contracts. Although it was difficult at the time, I now feel that it was a valuable experience for me in that it was my first time dealing with official business deals. What was more meaningful was the donation of the funds we raised. We wanted our funds to really be used for good causes, so we looked for an organization that is not corrupt and is meaningful. We chose to donate to an orphanage in Cambodia, and watching the children run around with excitement was one of the most fulfilling moments of my life.
koreanincambo   
Oct 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Obtaining a background in the computing industry' - Cornell Supplmentary [3]

Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by - and linked to - specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.

To be honest, I do not have a specific, brilliant engineering idea right now. If I did have a groundbreaking idea, I would not be writing this essay here at this moment. However, I can proudly state that my strong passion for math and physics help me to develop the rigorous skills I need for computer science. Aware of this, I dedicate a lot of my personal time to excel in these subject areas that I feel very passionate about. In addition, I have been studying independently computer sciences on top of my school requirement. Because the education at Cornell Computer Science department offers solid bases and theoretical education, I am sure that I will eventually be struck with an idea that will bring great changes. Because the 21st century is the age of information, protecting one's data and information will be crucial. I want to make a difference, bringing innovations just like the ones that I saw in the video that inspired me to pursue this course.

The established system at Cornell will give me a firm background at the computing industry, and I will be able to use this strong background to bring creations that are both conceptually well-built and innovative. Specifically, as my belief is that the faculty is the best resource a student can access in a school, I will often be soliciting help from the faculty members in the department of Computer Science, and I am looking forward to receive the advising and the counseling services along with using the Engineering Learning Initiatives. The research opportunities available at Cornell is also great, with the excellent corporate relations, therefore I plan to grab any and all opportunities that are shown to me at Cornell.
koreanincambo   
Oct 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My passion is computer science' - Cornell Supplmentary Essay [2]

Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sceinces to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

My intellectual passion is in the computer sciences. As I was deciding which IB courses to take in my junior year, I pondered about what I want to do in the future. I tried to imagine myself in 10 years, trying to see where I would be, and what I would be doing. For a whole good month, I was in utter confusion. I felt as if there was almost no future to me. It was that one day when I could clearly decide what I want to do. I stepped into my Information Technology in Global Society class, and my teacher started playing a TedX video about technology before the class. The presentation explained how fast the technology is developing, and how the world is going to change with all the novelties. That was when it struck me. I was fascinated by all the innovations of Google, Microsoft, and other corporations. I was so enthralled by these innovations that I felt I want to make a novel change in the world just like those innovations. I consulted the IT teachers at school, and I searched about what majors I could take. I looked into this matter rationally, and I was able to perceive the situation with a more mature state of the brain. Computer science captivated me once again. The security and programming languages courses offered at Cornell especially interested me. Because the 21st century is the age of information, protecting one's data and information will be crucial. I want to make a difference, bringing innovations just like the ones that I saw in the video that inspired me to pursue this course.

To achieve my dreams, I will try to completely utilize the education I receive from Cornell. Based on the theories taught through the courses offered at the department of Computer Science, I will bring new creations with a strong concept into existence. In addition, I vehemently believe that the biggest resource a student has in any school, including high schools and universities, is the faculty. I would like to constantly interact with the faculty members of the department of Computer Science and keep a friendly rapport in order to inquire about my studies and future actions. For example, I have an experience of soliciting help from Professor Noam Chomsky in MIT and Professor David P. Chandler in Monash University. I will make sure that I succeed in the society using the resources of the department of Computer Science at Cornell.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳