Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by StephR
Joined: Nov 22, 2012
Last Post: Dec 26, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 14  
Likes: 1
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 18
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
StephR   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / Courses/Outing Club/Low student-faculty ratio; Vassar Supp/ Why Vassar? [4]

i would reword "But college isn't all about courses, but also about the different on-campus organizations and clubs that are meant to diversify the interests of students, while also getting them involved in resolving different issues of the society."

maybe like "But college isn't all about courses, it is also about ...
StephR   
Dec 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / Children are very sensitive about what they see or hear from their friends [5]

There are many aspects of aspects to prove this, which just quit significant of them are listed here .
- REWORD
First and actually the most important reason which impressed me to disagree with this matter is some psychological articles which I've already read about learning process in kids. -REWORD

i get what your trying to say and its good, but i think you just have to reword a bunch of things and i would probably not use like first reason and like second reason
StephR   
Dec 20, 2012
Undergraduate / These trend words would be in our minds; NYU/What intrigues you? [3]

i think that is flows pretty well and is written very well, but it might be a little bit out of the box for the question since they specifically ask you for a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc, but other than that i think that it is really good
StephR   
Dec 20, 2012
Undergraduate / Path to find what really matters; U Delaware Honors Program/ What matters most? [3]

Throughout the University of Delaware's history, we've dared to be first in what matters. Our alumni were among the first to sign the Declaration of Independence. Ours was the first study abroad program in the U.S. And our academic focus on energy and the environment, business, translational medicine, interdisciplinary engineering, the arts, and humanities, demonstrate that teaching and research still come first at UD. Now we dare you. What matters most to you?

I'm the type of person who always tries to stay out of trouble, who always tries to get good grades, and who always tries to be realistic. However, none of these things matter to me, what matters most to me is finding something that I love to do. As a senior in high school, you hear all the students talking about applying to college and picking their major. I have multiple friends who already knew what they wanted to do since freshman year, but that's not my case. Freshman year I had no clue what I wanted to do, although my vision of the future has gotten a bit clearer, it is still pretty blurry.

I think of college as a path to finding what really matters. When you're a student in high school, you're not really in the real world. High school is like this big protective bubble that you can explore without much consequences. What matters to people in High school doesn't necessarily matter when they go to college. Things like prom and senior skip day are some of the things that might matter to students, but that has nothing to do with a person's future. For a person who doesn't know where to go to college or what to major in, face many obstacles. But I feel that you don't have to know what you want to be when you're starting college. I feel that college is about finding out what you want to be and who you want to be.

What matters most is how a person feels about their life and themselves. If a person has a job they absolutely hate, they are not doing what matters the most to them. What matters the most to me is finding something that I am passionate about. I don't want to just go to college to get a degree and then a job that I hate. I want to go to college for the experience; I want to go to explore my options. I want to be that person who wakes up in the morning and is excited to go to work, that's what matters most to me.
StephR   
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / Good academics / Independent person / Honor Society / Real Word (Syracuse) [2]

1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

I am a High School Senior who unlike many of her friends doesn't honestly know what to do with the rest of their lives. While searching for colleges over the summer, I came across Syracuse. It had everything I wanted; good academics, good social scene, and an amazing campus. What stood out to me the most about Syracuse is the amount of opportunity and experiences it offers. Scholarship in Action is a fantastic mission, and I absolutely love the fact that students can actually engage in the real world before they graduate.

2. Who is the person you dream of becoming and how do you believe Syracuse University can help you achieve this?

As a child, I always dreamed of becoming a movie star or rock star, but as I grew up my dreams changed. Now I dream of becoming a successful independent person. I dream of waking up every morning and not dreading the fact that I have to go to work. I dream of having a job that actually makes me want to wake up in the morning. I believe that Syracuse can help me achieve my dreams. Syracuse offers a wide variety of majors, it offers opportunities, and more importantly it offers time for a student to explore their options and figure out what they want to do.

3. If you have had work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?

As a member of the National Honor Society I am required to have at least 20 hours of community service, one way I got these hours was helping out at a blood drive. This blood drive really opened my eyes about how much help people need, it also forced me to overcome a fear of mine. Growing up I never liked blood or going to get a shot, and having to sit there and watching people get a pint of blood sucked out of them was a disturbing idea. However, I dealt with it and I helped out for a very good cause. I believe now that even if you're scared of something or disturbed by something, you shouldn't just not do it. If it is for a good cause and helps others, you should put yourself aside and overcome your fear.

4. Our mission of Scholarship in Action, education for the world in the world, extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your interests, tell us what real-world experiences you might pursue during your education at Syracuse as part of this mission.

The real world is not just taking tests and getting good grades, its beginning able to communicate with others, to get out into the workforce, to enjoy life. Some real-world experiences I might pursue at Syracuse would possibly be to get internship doing something that I really love to do. I would also love to study-abroad, the opportunities alone are amazing, but the experience of studying abroad is unforgettable.
StephR   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'The Black Swan' - NYU supplement- what intrigues you? [3]

i thinks its really good, but i see like what you mean by making it more personal, but its going to be hard cause i wouldnt know how you would include that. maybe if like if you go more indepth about finding out what you really want to do like an awakening or something. like your no longer that undecided person. i honestly dont know these are really just some suggestions if you want to do something like that
StephR   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'diagnosed with scoliosis' - Essay about overcoming obstacles [3]

In July 2009, I was scheduled to have a spinal fusion surgery done at UNC Chapel Hill Children's Hospital. All of my family was there to help me throughalong the way and help calm my nerves. Preparing myself for surgery was one of the scariest moments I had to go through as a young adult. The surgery lasted for eight and a half hours. When I woke up I was surrounded by all my family and friends, so I never waswas never alone. The surgery left me with a hard recovery process, which lasted for several months. I could not do anything by myself without the help of my family and nurses. This made me feel useless to my own body. The surgery left me with having to learn how to move my body on my own, walk on my own, and get items on my own again. If I did not have my family and friends, I honestly do not think I could have got through this hard time in my life.
StephR   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'have been born in America' - about myself Penn State Essay [2]

Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.

It was the summer before ninth grade and I had absolutely no place to go. It was yet another dull school break spent at home; I was sick and tired of home and I just wanted to leave. I kept thinking to myself that one day I'd travel the world; I would go to Paris or London, maybe even Greece. But I knew that for now if my parents couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't either.

While so many people complain about how hard it is to get into America, my family complains about how hard it is to get out. People from all over the world come to America to have the life they always wanted; to have the American dream. However, many are blocked from their dreams because of immigration policies. Immigrants have to pay thousands of dollars for lawyers just so they can open up a case. I know this, because this is what my parents had to do.

My parents have been through two different lawyers, have received papers and have had them taken away. When I was a little girl I remember going to the city and waiting outside for my parents to get out of the lawyer's office. My parents complained time and again about their lawyer and how much money they had to spend on immigration. My mom would even say she was going to leave America and go back to Portugal. In fact, I have two older brothers, and the eldest was born in Portugal and came to America when he was four years old. Yet that, at the time, didn't matter to me. Growing up I heard all about my friend's vacations to places like Italy or Spain, and how amazing it was. But as far as I was concerned, I was trapped in this bubble called America.

About three years ago my parents finally received their green cards, and the bubble finally popped. That summer my parents and I traveled to several different places in Portugal. I met family I didn't even know existed, and I went to places where I couldn't believe the beauty. However, the American dream was not completely fulfilled. Although my parents received their green cards, my brother did not. He is almost thirty years old and is still paying for a lawyer to help him get his green card.

I feel very lucky to have been born in America because I can go anywhere in the world and be able to come back with no problems. However, I feel that this country is made up of so many immigrants that the immigration process should be easier and run smoother. America is supposed to be a place where people can feel free; but instead, it's a place where people feel trapped. And this needs to be changed.

This experience has taught me how hard the real world can be. I feel that knowing this will allow me to succeed in Penn State, because it opened my eyes to how much someone must go through to achieve what they want. I look forward to learning and experiencing new things during my college years.
StephR   
Nov 23, 2012
Writing Feedback / Advantages and diadvantages of examination [5]

For instance, a student with an excellent history in mathematics would be probably the most suited candidate for an accountant position or a math teacher.

Nowadays, it has been proved that tests and examinations put a great deal of pressure on students. Students always claim that answering a variety of questions in an allotted time decrease their performance, while they would do the test much better in a less anxious situation, like taking the test at home. The supporters of this opinion often bring out the fact that the increase in number of teenager smokers is one of the tests' side-effects , and subsequently putting it among the threats to the health of individuals.

To put things together, governments should come up with new methods to check the achievements of student, in which it lessensthe disadvantages of previously developed ones and idealizes the selection criteria for jobs opportunities.
StephR   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'College Green with The Awakening' - Brown Transfer Supplement - Why Brown [4]

it sounds amazing, but is this like just the beginning of the essay or the whole thing. if it is just the beginning it is an amazing intro and i love the fact that you started it off with an anecdote and i just think that you might need to build into more of why you like brown and like maybe some programs or things that connect with your major, something like that.
StephR   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Track & Field in middle school' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER [3]

I deiced to repost my short answer cause i really really need help with it and need to get it done soon.

In middle school, I participated in Track & Field, finding it to be a fun experience, but had ultimately decided not to continue in high school. Instead, spending the first two years of my high school experience focusing more on grades and my classes, I got back into track during my junior year and decided to continue it through senior year. Track was just as I remembered, but a bit harder because of how long it had been since I had last done it. I began my junior year of track as a sprinter, but eventually my coach thought I was better suited as a mid-distance runner. When the first track meet came around, I felt as if I was in middle school again. I got that same feeling I did before a race, when your stomach is in a twist and you just feel like throwing up, but in the end everything turns out just fine and you don't care if you win or lose. I regret not doing track during freshman and sophomore year, but I am glad that I eventually got back into it.
StephR   
Nov 23, 2012
Undergraduate / Reaching out to the Disadvantaged Families - College admission essay OUTLINE [2]

there was alot of very good information in this outline, some suggestions i would give you is to mayb include like a past experience with volunteering and how you could continue doing it and get like more personal with like what you want to do and how what u have done so far and how it made you feel. maybe like even a short anecdote in the beginning about like one of your experiences or something. those are just my suggestions
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳