Undergraduate / Explaining my gap years; does this make sense? [4]

After graduating high school, I did not enroll at an university mainly due to immigration status issues. During my senior year, my family and I unexpectedly won the Green Card lottery. As part of the process, we were required to leave the country and initiate the process in Spain (the country where we previously resided). Thus, after my graduation in 2010, my family and I moved back to Spain. We were not able to come back to the U.S. before we received our Green cards and obtained permanent residence. This process took approximately two years. Since my original plans to start university the fall after my graduation did not occur, out of commitment to my education, I decided to continue my education by self-studying for exams during this period.

Undergraduate / Financial constraints/Self studying/ Volunteering ; Common App/GAP YEAR [3]

Hi! In the common app there's a question that asks you if you took a gap year. I did because of the reasons I explain below. I plan to upload this document when I send my application. Should I take out some things? Leave it like it is? I don't know what I should and should not include.

If your progression through secondary school was or will be delayed or interrupted in any way, please check all that apply. (Checked 'did/will take a gap year')

Provide details on the item(s) checked above.

After graduating, I did not enroll at an university mainly due to financial issues. My family won the Green Card lottery, however part of the process required us to leave the US to prepare for an interview which had to take place in the country where we previously resided. Thus, after I graduated high school in 2010, my family and I moved to Spain. It was a long process (approximately two years) before we received our Green cards (we were legally required to stay in Spain until our Green cards arrived) and this took a big toll on my parents who had to pay a substantial amount of money for the Green card fees and had to quit their jobs to move to Spain. Slowly, they have been bettering their financial state and I have been helping them by tutoring spanish, chemistry and biology to middle school and high school student for work. Out of commitment to my education after I graduated, I continued my education by self-studying for exams. I took the AP Psychology, AP Biology exam, SAT II Biology, SAT II Chemistry and SAT I Reasoning test. I also self-organized work and voluntary experiences:


Work Experience:
2011: Medical Simulation Training Day at The Barts and The London Medical Simulation Centre in London. Under the guidance of experienced professionals we were taught through work stations the different usage of clinical tools and fluids in a hospital setting, the importance and interpretation of X-Rays and the sterilization and the proper wearing of surgical attire in the operating room. Replicating an ER medical scenario, our group diagnosed a life-like manikin while working and communicating in a team.

2011: Attended a suturing event at the RCS Hunterian Museum in London where I learnt how to maneuver the robotic arms used for keyhole surgery. This type of surgery is respectively 'new' in the medical field but, because of its many benefits, it's currently replacing conventional with robotic procedures. This is one of the reasons why medicine attracted me: it's a very innovative and dynamic field, always on the edge of technology.

2012: Shadowed a doctor specialized in Internal Medicine for a week. I was able to see the importance of patient-doctor relationship and the immediate trust patients gave him. I was given the chance to have direct contact with the patients and ask them specific, routine questions to obtain information useful to formulate a diagnosis, strengthening my communication skills.

2012: Shadowed several specialized surgeons at a local hospital for eight weeks (about 200 hours) in the operating room, clinic and intensive care unit. Observing close to 25 surgeries ranging from neurosurgery, OB/GYN, general, plastics, cardiovascular and thoracic, I saw the important of working effectively in a team with synchronization and coordination to enhance the safety of the patient. Following the surgeons around the hospital for a couple of hours per day I gained a realistic understanding of the daily life of a doctor. Besides watching the surgeries, I accompanied them to the intensive care unit where they periodically checked their patients to monitor their recovery process. Doctors need to be quick, clear, logical thinkers, and in various occasions I witnessed these qualities, especially during complications in the operating room and the intensive care unit. Furthermore, I shadowed the physician assistants during their rounds. I closely observed patients' health improve enormously, and noticing the positive effects of their work on people's lives increased my overall passion and pursuit of medicine.

I have also obtained my CPR, AED and First Aid certifications

Volunteering:
2012: Currently, I've been volunteering weekly for the past 13 weeks in the emergency department at a local hospital. I work as a liaison between patients and families. I also help the nurses to distribute food for the patients. Interacting with patients has strengthened my social and communication skills, and has made me more confident. Families of patients can arrive to the emergency room in a very emotional state, and I have learnt to be patient, make quick decisions and be effective, as well as become a better listener and communicator. I understand and care for them and I try my best to make them feel comfortable.

2012: I've been volunteering weekly for the past 6 weeks in the Pediatrics department at a local hospital. I interact with patients and their families, for example by playing with them in the playroom, making rounds and bringing toys to the children as well as keeping them company when their parents aren't able to visit.

Undergraduate / 'Winning the Green Card lottery' - CommonApp MAIN ESSAY; No longer a wallflower [8]

NO NEED FOR EDITING/REVISING, just read it, PLEASE! :)

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

OR

Topic of your choice

"No longer a Wallflower" (title---> underlined or quote marks when I upload it?)

The lime green cover reads "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. As my eyes glide over the pages, I quickly find my favorite character. According to Charlie, "even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there." I could not have agreed more.

It is difficult to leave the place you call home once, even twice, but the third time turns you into an emotional wreck. I moved from Bolivia to Spain when I was seven years old, and from Spain to the United States when I was thirteen. I entered the so called freshman year in high school, and with "Hello," "How are you," and "Goodbye" under my belt, I made it through my first day.

Day by day for the next four years, I learned to love a culture completely different from the two I knew. Yet, my new American identity co-existed within me. I made a new home. Although this time, I did not expect my life to take a u-turn.

Winning the Green Card lottery during my senior year was a bittersweet feeling. My permanence was no longer a mystery and hypothetically, I was free to roam as I pleased. But I felt stuck, for there was still a long process to jump through. Life still wrapped me in its irony and when I had finally been given the right to stay indefinitely in the country I longed to remain, I was required to leave with a to-be-determined date of return. All the plans I had for university came to a halt.

I missed America but I saw my return to Spain as a chance to rediscover myself. I always lived a life that was constantly in motion and, though I felt the weight of concrete on my shoulders, I decided to move forward. I indulged in my education. I met people who strengthened the benchmarks I had set for myself and, with the experiences I pursued, I continued to set new ones. I did not have floating goals and dreams; I persevered with success in my intellectual and personal pursuits. I took charge of my life, and this time of uncertainty felt no longer like an obstacle.

Two years have passed since I graduated from high school and now, back on American soil, I think about the parallels of my life experiences. The time when I first came to the U.S. and learned the word 'mild' a little too late at an Indian restaurant to the time when I embarrassingly mispronounced the word 'beach' during a school presentation. Both were situations that arrived from predicaments I was facing but I worked to overcome.

As I finish reading this book, I will take away that no matter the situation I am in, I can change the now. Charlie and I live by this mantra; we are no longer wallflowers, but doers.

Undergraduate / 'Medicine and Biology with Specialization' - Why BU Supplement [5]

Please help! How can I make this phrase better??

BU was always in my mind --a prestigious institution who any high school graduate would be happy to attend-- but it was only until I began researching about the academics and courses offered that I seriously considered it.

AND

My past work experiences have strengthened my reasons to pursue a career in Medicine and by completing a BA in Biology with Specialization I will not only focus in what I am most interested but I will create a strong foundation for my graduate studies as well as take advantage of the opportunities to participate in active research in many fields.

Undergraduate / I'm a foodie of a close-knit community; Brown Sup/ Community [10]

Hi! I just started this essay. I think I have a good idea but I don't know if I'm on the right track. It still needs lots of editing and revising to do (I believe) but here goes my first draft. Please be completely honest!

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you. (1000 characters maximum, currently at 881)

I belong to a close-knit community that meets religiously at least once a day. I am a foodie, so at every get together, I enjoy the selection of goods; sometimes they vary from grandma's recipe of Spaghetti alla Bolognese to the classic Bolivian dish of Majadito to the Spanish saffron-seasoned paella with clams, squid and octopus. You would think with my plate full, I would start digging in, but the purpose of the sit-downs around this small round glass table stretch further than to satisfy our appetites. Every meal births/grants the opportunity to discuss and speak my mind freely. Sometimes I may sit quite on my stool, but I blossom in the occasion to reflect and forge an opinion. I introduce new ideas. I support a thesis. I participate. Sometimes the food remains untouched, or worse, grows cold, but soon my mother makes us well aware, and we briefly begin to dig in.

Opinions?

Undergraduate / 'Friend's T-shirt' - How did you find out about Brown? [6]

What do you think about this? Please be honest! If you have any suggestions, let me know!

Prompt: How did you find out about Brown? For example, from a person, publication, campus visit, etc.? (300 characters, currently at 300 or 301 depending on which word)

It was my friend's Brown T-shirt what first caught my attention. Similarly, wishing to one day become a physician, I was hooked/drawn by the strength and close relation of Brown's Biology Department with the Alpert Medical School, the vast undergraduate research opportunities and range of courses offered.

Undergraduate / 'Jessica' - a moment when your perspective changed; BROWN U [8]

PLEASE HELP! I would appreciate editing and/or suggestions :)

Prompt: Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed. (2000 characters, currently at 1978)

Her name was Jessica. She wore purple most days so I can assume that was her favorite color. Although we went to the same high school and lived streets away from each other, we never met. We did not have any classes together but I remember seeing her every day on my way to class.

One day Jessica never made it back home from school. I was halfway through my Calculus class my senior year when the entire class heard the train that passed next to the school come to a halt. Not knowing exactly what had occurred, we absentmindedly resumed class. However, the mood quickly changed when we were required to stay inside. Hours later, it was announced Jessica was dead; she was walking onto the tracks to cut through to the neighborhood behind the school wearing her headphones, and she did not notice the train and was struck.

These words hung heavily on me. A young life taken away by mere carelessness. It was not fair. The thought of Jessica's parents burying and mourning the life of their 17 year old daughter haunted me. One moment saying goodbyes, to never say hello's again. Through silent tears, I looked around to see other people's reactions. It sickened me to see people oblivious of the situation return to their doodles, homework or chattering, completely unperturbed. They did not care because they had no real relation to her. In their eyes, her death was insignificant and I am ashamed to say that before Jessica's accident I, as well, was one of the many who would not notice if she were to never come back to school.

I no longer take people for granted. I cannot part my way without fixing an argument or without "I love you" or "Take care" because I have learned from her that our lives can change in a span of seconds and it is too often that we become absorbed in the trivial details of life and not savor the moment with the people we care about fully. Jessica will never know the impact she had on me but every day I spread her message. She was significant.