Undergraduate / Vision/ Intelligence/ imagination/ leadership/ action - Topic of study/ Values&Priorities [6]

Prompt: If you founded your own college or university, what topic of study would you make mandatory for all students to study and why? What would be the values and priorities of your institution and why?

No ideas jumped out at me for this prompt but I think this works.
I need some help editing it. So please, comment and criticize.

In today's society, everywhere I look I hear the importance of education being stressed. I also, from a young age, have been told time and time again to focus on my education. What I have never heard stressed, however, is learning the ability to apply one's knowledge and envision a plan for the future. Helen Keller once said, "The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision." That is why if I founded my own college or university, the mandatory topic of study would be to develop students' vision.

All successful people, men and women, are immense dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision. Achieving a goal or resolving an issue takes more than just vision, however. It takes intelligence, imagination, leadership, and action, all of which would be valued at my university. In the world today, especially America, technology can solve many problems on its own; if everyone backed a leader, with a common vision, we could address today's issues with the same vigor that placed a man on the moon in 1969.

Undergraduate / i'M HOMESCHOOLED; Common App Supplement: World you come from ? [3]

Prompt: Describe the world you come from and how that world shaped who you are.
I need some help editing this essay. Please, comment and criticize.

Reflecting on my life thus far, there are two decisions that have come to define who I am. The greater of the two is the decision my parents made to homeschool me. Though I missed out on activities like school dances, I have grown to appreciate my homeschool education. At home with my mom and three brothers, I became self-motivated, independent in nature, and I learned the values of a strong family.

Unlike the decision to be educated at home, I was the author in the next most significant decision that has come to shape who I am. The summer before my eighth grade year, I admitted to my Mom that I wanted to attend public school. Despite being shy at first, I began to unfold. Before graduating middle school, I was brave enough to perform a duet on stage, even with my unfortunate voice.

In a sense, the unparalleled world I come from can be divided in two, with the restraints of the first world producing a deep desire to discover everything I had been missing in the later one. Together, the two worlds are comprised of Guinness Record breaking attempts, snow forts even an Eskimo would be jealous of, and trees too tall not to climb. Before settling down, I was the unsung manhunt hero, the town's best and only free bike mechanic, and the daredevil willing to take any risk. Ultimately, I am the person my experiences have shaped me to be.

Undergraduate / Assistant Coach (Soccer); Common App / Work experience [2]

I need some help editing this short response for the common app and I have a lot of questions regarding the essay.

1. Is the entire essay a bit off topic and should I focus more on what I did as a volunteer than on how the experience affected me?

2. I am 90 characters over limit. What can I remove?
3. Should I write about one of my flaws or only focus on good traits?

Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum)

In the summers before my junior and senior years, I volunteered as a coach's assistant at the Rancocas Valley Jr. Soccer Academy. At first, I viewed the task of waking up at seven every Sunday morning and going to the local soccer fields as worth nothing more than the community service hours and the satisfaction experienced from helping others. It never occurred to me that I could learn so much from children no older than ten.

Although society commonly relates wisdom with age, there is a lot we can learn from children. They often have little knowledge of the world, but in some ways this is their most precious characteristic. Growing up significantly develops our views, however, there are some basic and healthy values lost with time.

Obligations, expectations, and responsibilities are life's way of forcing us to grow up. We often attempt to convey our wisdom upon kids as if we are all their teachers; yet, kids are the ones most capable of teaching us life lessons. Working with kids revealed to me my greatest flaw of focusing on the bad, instead of simply enjoying the good.

Undergraduate / Close relationships/Professors/Excellent facilities; Lehigh Supp: "Unique aspect" [3]

Prompt: What unique aspect of Lehigh most interests you?
I need some help editing. Please, feel free to comment and criticize.

One of the top schools in the nation, Lehigh University offers all of the benefits of a great college. Intimate relationships with professors, excellent facilities, and school spirit are all positive characteristics that are present at Lehigh. The aspect unique to Lehigh, which most interests me, is the environment.

Since I will be spending at least four years of my life in college, I have made it a priority to find a school that can be made into a home. The community at Lehigh is one of the most comforting ones and it appears to be a perfect match for anyone looking for a welcoming environment. Additionally, the student population is the perfect size. At right around 7,000 students, the university population is just over twice that of my high school but still not too large to get lost among all of the different faces.

The other unique aspect of the environment is the architecture. The magnificent buildings at Lehigh, like Packer Hall, inspire me as I look forward to majoring in architecture. Currently, I can only dream of designing structures comparable to those spread across the school's campus, however, with the help of Lehigh University, I will be as great as the architects that crafted the schools current environment.

The incomparable aspects that make Lehigh University so great are the friendly social environment and beautiful physical surroundings. Although some consider the city of Bethlehem to be in the shadows of Philadelphia and New York, Lehigh University remains a beacon of higher education.

Undergraduate / Eighth grade; Common App: Diverse Education [2]

This essay is for the common app. I chose to create my own topic and I titled the essay "My Diverse Education."
Please, feel free to comment on any aspect of the essay. I appreciate any help.

The most significant day of my life thus far was the day I entered eighth grade. Like the rest of the eighth graders along side of me, I was experiencing a new feeling. For the first time in our middle school years we were walking to school as the upper classmen. As I looked around, all the other eighth graders displayed confidence, yet I felt afraid. Everyone in sight was going to march into the Lumberton Middle School for his or her third consecutive year. I however was entering the school for the first time. Not only had I never stepped foot into the school before, but I had also never stepped foot into any school before for the purpose of learning. From kindergarten through seventh grade I, like one and a half million other Americans, was homeschooled. Nevertheless, I was blessed with the rare opportunity to take full advantage of the benefits obtainable through public school as well as homeschool.

Before I was born, my parents determined it was in my best interest to educate me at home, as they had done for my two older brothers. The verdict to school my brothers and I at home originated from my Mother and Father's religious ideals. While my Dad worked, my Mother remained at the house to instruct us. I can recall my Mom teaching me the foundations of learning such as how to count, add, and read. During this time we were able to get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate, level. In addition, I formed an unbreakable bond with my three brothers. Being homeschooled instilled in me a greater appreciation for family.

I believe my most precious principles arose from being fortunate enough to experience home school and public school, not just one or the other. While being homeschooled I received special attention. I exceled when instructed with a one on one style, however, despite my Mom evidently having eyes on the back of her head, she still could not always supervise my three brothers and I all at once. This reality required me to become self-disciplined. Once I began attending public school, my independent nature made the transition from a graduating class of one to a graduating class of two hundred much less concerning.

The dispute on whether or not homeschooling is beneficial or detrimental to the development of a child is endless. There will always be contradicting points regarding homeschooling. I have not taken the stand that homeschooling can be beneficial for children. I will however prove that it has been beneficial for me. I belong to a unique group of people who have faced the hardships and benefits of both types of schooling and I will not let either school system limit me. I will take all that I have learned, both at home and in the public school system, to go forth and demonstrate how effective the combination of homeschool and public school has been on me.

Undergraduate / My love for HG; "What excites you about architecture?" Supp [2]

This is a supplement for U.Va. I need help editing it. So, feel free to add comments and criticism.
Prompt: What excites you about architecture?

Growing up in a home limited to basic channels produced a deep desire for cable television. After a relentless effort, my three brothers and I had our mutual wish answered in the form of a ten-dollar per month cable package. While ordinary channels like Nickelodeon captured my brothers' attention, I, to my parents' surprise, tended to watch Home and Garden TV. At the age of twelve, my love for HGTV gave origin to my new dream of becoming an architect.

I, now closer than ever to realizing my dream, can see past my once shallow idea of architecture. As an architect, you have the opportunity to create something greater than yourself. Through the projects you build an environment is created; and, through the built environment certain types of lives are generated. I am excited by the opportunity to have a greater impact than simply designing buildings. I am excited to have the chance to shape a community that will go on after I die as part of my legacy.

I am reminded of one of the most fascinating aspects of architecture when I see a two hundred year old structure that has been exposed to every condition from hurricanes to wars and yet it still stands strong. Designing a building that will endure is just one of the many exciting challenges I look forward to facing as an architect. Unlike nearly any other professional, an architect has no aesthetic bounds but still must obey physical limits. Considering every limit and freedom, a good architect can seamlessly add a unique building to a community.

Every architect's philosophy is reflected in his or her work, with each project displaying a personal perception of beauty. Some philosophies create the idea that if buildings are brought to their bare minimum, to function, that is where beauty lies. In contrast, however, other philosophies suggest beauty is derived from individuality.

The benefit of becoming an architect that excites me, more so than any other, is the chance to see my own project, defined by my own philosophy, develop into a structure. Seeing a building that my own imagination gave birth to come to life would not only make all the hard work worthwhile it would be the realization of my childhood dream.