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Posts by MoeMoe1
Joined: Mar 23, 2009
Last Post: Jul 28, 2011
Threads: 13
Posts: 75  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 88 / page 1 of 3
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MoeMoe1   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Music lifts up our souls and releases them'; traditional vs international music [5]

William Shakespeare said that "take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body."

into...

William Shakespeare, a well known english poet, once said "Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find it is to the soul what the water-bath is to the body." This concludes, many so-called music therapy CDs pop up in music industry. What is more, as music helps us to express ourselves in ways that we can't with normal talking, it is just like an outburst of our souls. Thus, life without music, to me, is just like movies without background music. Everything seems pointless and dull.
MoeMoe1   
Oct 14, 2010
Research Papers / American Goverment/ Poltical Important Essay Question [3]

I need a approach for my essay, a very important one I need a good structure on what to say and how to say it.

1) How could Al-Gore possibly win the popular vote but loose the presidency?
2) Why did the framers scrape the Articles of Confederation? And 3 Conflicts at the constitutional convention?

Also scares the crap out of me, is that is my professor gave us a wrong question? Or this is a self contradicting question(the first one). And I can't seem to answer it, I need a glimpse a good idea so I can develop my own essay and manifest the text! Due by Monday! so if someone can help me! please!!!
MoeMoe1   
Oct 9, 2010
Writing Feedback / Reflective experience to Peck's inspiring article on struggle in life! [3]

Hey everyone! Would someone please revise my essay and in a number listing form explain why would this should be added/removed/edited!!!! So I can therefore revise my own based on your judgment please! thanks!

Moe T.

October 4, 2010

Essay 1, Rough Draft 1

Would you sacrifice short term satisfaction for long term pleasure? One problem that I faced was the habit of insufficient sleep, due to being easily distracted by watching movies, staying out late and basically enjoying myself. This affected my school work, my personal life and my emotions. The key ingredient that solved my problem was delayed gratification, one of the four discipline tools in "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck discusses in his story.

I was the type of person to get easily distracted and be a hypocrite. Meaning, at any given moment I would let my temptation of unnecessary things seize my necessities. For example, I have a class on a Sunday around 8:00am-12:00pm and I was invited to a special exclusive birthday party. So this is where the inner conflict erupts, should I stay home and sleep early for class or enjoy myself out just this one time? This is a problem that I faced for many years, and it would make me into a hypocrite afterwards. Day by day, week by week the outcome of this gave me a heavy load of stress, in school and work. I would do last minute papers, study the day before an exam and come into class late. As for work, I would look very weary and not motivated nor determined as I once was.

The name its self "delayed gratification" means, the capability to resist an immediate satisfaction in order to achieve long term pleasure. Now, how does someone utilize it? It's as complicated as it sounds, for me it took a year and several months. To actually become accustomed and adapted in your life. Some people actually struggle with this method but nevertheless they fall short after many try's, because in my opinion its lack of mentality. For example, my older brother has a problem with his weight and I tried to convince him that no matter how mouth-watering the food was, your one step away from becoming that "new" guy he always wanted to be. As days go by, and the obstacles are placed, to but his desire to the ultimate test, he would eventually live in the moment; and falls. To completely accomplish this tool, you have to have the desire for need rather than want.

In the story "The Road Less Traveled" by Scott Peck writes how life is very difficult with his advice from experience, is to learn how to accept things, tied with his principles of his "discipline tools" by implying them to our lives which fulfills us as a human being.

As the problem I faced and the tool that helped me not only for my ability for school but for my life in many positions I will be in. The cherish long lasting fulfillment is go through many situations and never fail after trying, because in order for growth you need to experience mistakes and have a strong desire for what you need over what you want.
MoeMoe1   
Oct 9, 2010
Undergraduate / how hawaii has fueled my interest for stanford [5]

Stanford is more than an educational institution. It is a cohesive community that will be my launching pad towards a life filled with bold and daring action.

change it to...

Stanford is more than an educational institution, it is a community that will be turning my dreams into reality.
MoeMoe1   
Nov 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!? [15]

Moe T.
November 19, 2009
Self Reflective Essay, First Draft

Sometimes you can't find the perfect pen, to express what's going through your mind. The moment my pen point presses on the empty sheet of paper my mind begins to move like a highway of ideas and thoughts. While stranded in the middle trying to figure what route and exit to take with two risk factors; taking the wrong route which leads to a complete wrong thought and getting hit by a speeding car which can be a direct thinking process melt down. I have developed how to critically analyze at a much rapid rate then I normally would. I also would categorize specific ideas and general ideas, realizing when and what needs to be critically discussed.. Lastly, but not least I learned that re-reading out loud to yourself presents you another perception in your writing rather than free writing. Overall, this course was far more effective and concise way to develop myself as a better writer and aspects in life.

Self reflective essay? Say what? The second I noticed the word, I said to myself "oh god another paper". Yet as my professor was defining the basic meaning, "to look back in the past and to see the growth you made as a writer". As what change, developed the writer you are now and so forth which was a good technique to actually look on the changes in the past you made. Sometimes it might look very odd in a way how you changed throughout the time and how you reached to A to B, but this strategy can also be used throughout life itself. The past changes in the past that created the future outcome of you today.

One of the major problems that I found constantly throughout my coursework was thinking critically. I always used to pause at every start but slowly brainstorm my ideas and thoughts as I proceed to write. But it was hard to chronically structure ideas as soon as the question first processed in my head. I just knew how to structure in my head but slower pace. After draft after draft and after detailed help self-awareness skills as the course walks right by, I realized how it all fit as a puzzle. When the professor gives a certain question in class and expected to be fully analyzed by the end of the class I will begin to write as depth as possible at a rate I used to be. For example my professor asked us history and struggle on Listening is an Act of Love, "Write a mini essay in which you select one of the stories from your section the best describes an act of heroism in your view. Who is the hero of the story? What does the hero do that is significant? Why do you think this person deserves to be called an "everyday hero"? I have written, "A hero is someone who is distinguished for their ability to things others can't. Admired by squeezing the last drop out of nothing" I don't want to brag but I think that piece of text was one of my best writing. I know I had it in me, but I just needed a hand, the tutorials by my professor gave me that hand I needed to stay on my feet. And now I have implemented all developments and growth to my everyday life including my job, which was a attorney's office. I figured all the assignments and class work all assembled into a major essay.After all the preparation I picked up the pattern; with that being said my critical thinking began to improve at a fast rate then I used to.

If you can organize a paper, you can organize your life. Another note that I might address is categorizing ideas, which is second step into being a successful writer. At first I realized, bunch of paragraphs is a bunch of paragraphs nothing more. But after I was began to quickly realize that there is more depth than just paragraphs. As for the introduction should always be "general" to inform readers what they are untitled of an overall description of your paper. To organize in a paper, must arrange logically ideas in order to have full interpretation of a paper. A flow must be connected from paragraph to paragraph at the same time stick with the same idea. It was no more than through the peer and teacher class reviews that I made aware of my weaknesses and strengths throughout my work. There are times where my professor's comments on specific paragraphs on with " explain more" or " say more! " as draft after draft I realized when she commented it and what's she commented I said to myself "duh". Then I used her technique of knowing when to and not to be general and specific in an essay.

An unnoticeable mistake I found myself when I started this course was free writing. I would classify that as not proof reading or re-structuring. Have you ever begin writing an idea mentally, along with writing and later on it makes no sense? In the middle of the course when I was brought to this matter I started proof reading and reading what was written to myself, and I had a serious confused face. For example the last draft for the final essay, Many Diaz Jr. interviewed by his friend Bianca Vasquez in the book Listening is An Act of Love, "She attended Haaren high School and was told somehow it was the most influential school in New York City, after her reason for love of the school it considered the best because all she ever did was make "model airplanes" though". Which resulted into not proof reading and reorganizing, I noticed that readers may have my confused face on as well. What was missing was introducing the text to readers so they don't get lost in a dark room. I knew what significance or idea I was trying to convey and presumed that readers would recognize it, but I was mistaken. So I restructured the sentence to, "Manny Diaz attended Haaren High School and was told somehow it was the influential school in New York City, then again his only love for that school was the fact that all he and everyone else did was making "model airplanes". Here I introduced the reader who I am referring to, and in a more stable understanding. There was not much to rephrase, but something simply is a piece of something complex and without understanding a simply concept, your unable to understand the big picture. So that's why reproofing and restricting is very important in writing, with leads to being beneficial in the future.

Depth is the ability to penetrate analyzation into anything. Throughout the course I realized and classified myself as a better writer before I stepped foot in class. After a comparison and every "good job" and "good analysis", from my professor's confidence gave me the motivation to take writing and life to the next step. And after demonstrating how I improved as a writer, I found the true principal of "self reflective essay" which is to examine critically, an evaluation on your experience. Your opinion on experience can determine who you are today and in the future.
MoeMoe1   
Nov 18, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!? [15]

I understood that in somewhat way, or maybe I'm just to dumb? =[ I understand what you said the whole point of this particular essay is an evaluation on your experience blablabla... but how would it be SUPPOSEDLY structured?

Intro - What should be included?

Body- What should be included?

Conclusion - What should be included?

everyone prof is different in every way, a portfolio reader and her will determine if I pass or not, so how can I structure this as strong as possible to make them say " wow " ? I mean i need the correct structure and what should be included and what shouldn't, remember its 4pages tops.. so how can I structure this? can anyone help me do it the correct and my better way?

and thanks so much for the reply Kev!!!!!

edit: its a self reflective essay of defining myself as a writer through english class
MoeMoe1   
Nov 15, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!? [15]

Basically how can i write a passing reflective essay within 3-4 pages without extending over it? should it be just not specific... so i need good topics that is considered general and specific in between though that should be in the paper?

and can anyone help me with a thesis?
MoeMoe1   
Nov 15, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay about my experience - not possible to be specific!? [15]

A reflective essay for English class, my prof is not going to revise anything she wants us to do so. So I need help with my structure of the paper and start my first draft.

My prof gave us special topics that is recommended and the length of the paper was suppose to be 3-4 or so she said not too long...

But how am I going to write near as perfect passing paper that is 3-4 or so about my experience in English class? If I cant get to specific since it leads to more pages, does anyone know powerful impressive topics should be in the paper, when to be specific and when to be general? please anyone would help me out here
MoeMoe1   
Jul 18, 2009
Book Reports / Key to get re-submitted! Anicent World History Paper [31]

I got down 3 pages but I don't know what else to write...

What are main arguments that the author makes?
What ideas, issues and historical figure that we specifically discuss in our class does the author discuss?
How does the author illuminate these issues, ideas and historical figures?
In what way does this book contribute to your knowledge of the development of western civilization?

What I have so far:

There will always be a connection from the past to the future. After reading, Sailing The Wine-Dark Sea: Why The Greeks Matter by Thomas Cahill, Cahill's descriptive writing in my opinion is showing how our past does have a connection with the future. I had no knowledge what so ever with early civilization and why is it important? Does the Greeks fact indeed matter even if they had a connection to modern Americans as of today? Do people today show any significant amount of prosperity? Well, for me even a slight understanding is sufficient even though the Greeks were unknown and no credit is placed on behalf of their early development which led a continuous manifest of our civilization.

A glimpse at book "Why do the Greeks matter?" I knew from that point on, I will eventually know why the Greeks really did matter after reading this book. Now, if you didn't know Greeks have some type of lasting effects in the world we live in today. How? Well it begins and ends with flaws just like everything in this world. It begins to break down that the Greeks are responsible for the way thought is developed, culture has its own way of life , religion its way of believing, also art the way it is understood and looked upon, basically the human history. The book is used of quintessential sections to break down the difficult aspects of ancient Greek life within ease in understandable perspective, then continues to show how each are crucial to us. With all honesty, with my spare time I've begun to engage this type of literature and reading more seriously with the short period of time in my hands and gave me a solid understanding. The book shows the accomplishments of Classical Greece and its vast outcome on Western civilization. Beginning with the Greek history, partially as Homer conferred it in the Iliad and the Odyssey he goes on to centering on the other early figures who have most influenced Greek civilization including Sophocles through Aristotle and look into their contributions to early attitudes toward, example; to war throughout every aspect to religion. He also writes about the opposite way of thinking between the Greeks and he Romans also how it really influenced Christianity on the Greeks, and contrariwise.

Our way of live today is a mock the Greeks repeatedly and developed in certain ways but then again non Greek ways. The Greeks are responsible for the way we write, our way our logic works, basically our entire system from this day or of sequence. In this book it was put in a way for those who have no knowledge of our past's history and that what I really enjoyed.

The book gives us honor of position for Homer, throughout Euripides an elegant introduction to the early ear of ancient Greek. "The way they came" basically describes how they were brought. Drawn in before the Stone Age, afterwards civilizations of the Minoan and Mycenaean kings began to evolve. This was followed by a period of invasions and wars, known as the Dark Ages. Greece was divided into small city states, each of which consisted of a city and its surrounding countryside-- in my knowledge before reading the book. It begins to explain how there is no written evidence of how the Greeks came about, which he says "Their origins lie in mystery "as self explanatory. Then begins to get in a little more specific of how the second millennium B.C developed origins so we can have evidence that even earlier time the Greeks rode the valleys and begin to interpret how the Greeks became about. Meaning how the systematic early life began off the peninsula as our own evidence. Cahill's begins to clarify that, Heinrich Schliemann an archaeologist or said " self made German Business" who discovered the cover-up city sites of Troy; he also delved Mycenae. Furthermore began to analyze actions of Schliemann towards Agamemnon the king who led the Greeks against Troy in the Trojan War. "language mixing with language side-by-side" page 14. In other words, the invasion began to emerge language as one, from the Homer with interpreting it with Odyssey which is a Greek a strong everlasting poem describing the epic journey of Odysseus after the fall of Troy. Cahill's way of making readers like myself understanding the concept of the early era of Greece, he sequences everything in chapter form. But yet the book manages to pose the way of reading in a clean manner without getting clogged with excessive detail and this kept the pages going with ease for me.

Approximately 300 pages awaits me with solid difficulty understanding, with so little time. There are pros and cons for everything of course the book has its flaws like any other book. Its pros were simply, clear, ongoing reading, photographical artworks incorporated every aspect of ancient Greece in a compact structure, which I truly liked. The cons of this book is its literarily elements was unnecessary profanity which is ok with me, but in this case it was not needed but if Cahill's implemented it to have a connection with those with no concept of ancient Greeks, I don't blame him. Ok the way book is used in description was retelling multiple important Greek myths and converts them into a somewhat historical context, which is clever in a way. He also encounters all the contributions that the Greeks made in every aspect throughout the culture. Photographical images of sculpturing and pottery, maps and so forth, was it really necessarily? But you got to look at it another way maybe it was implementing for those who have no significant knowledge of ancient Greeks to make it easy and understandable. But then again readers that, enjoy it. Analyzing and comparing democracy... ancient democracy to be precise as well for leaders with modern political leadership at the time. Let's start off with, democracy is one of the most astonishing and compelling inventions of the ancient Greeks. The Greeks were the first people we know to have conceived and implemented the striking notion that the citizens of a community or perhaps large complex ones, as of the word democracy comes from the Greeks. How do you think leaders today reflect the same "way" and doings as well as acts from the early era? the ancient Greeks of course. A leader is an individual, of citizens who leads a nation or into leadership for a specific plan. Every leader falls or/and every leader succeeds, every Greek succeeded, in my perspective even if they failed the still succeed, how? Well the fact that striving is still succeeding in my books. And some leaders with lack of dedication, to succeed, failed at some point in time. Cahill's also signifies in the book modern and ancient leaders are relevant and consist of flaws and completion. The book also archives writers and philosophers, minor and major ones also, perhaps Homer for example. Homer is the extravagant Greek poet and the classical author of the two legendary poems, the Odyssey and Iliad. He influenced was not only on the Greek literature, but throughout ethics and morality everlasting. With the slang and excess profanity he makes the story seem amusing in a way or another way with mixture of ancient Greeks, which I tend to like frequently. Assuming that, we do in fact, consider ourselves with issues that people tend to be racist and such as the book indicates the ancient Greeks were, of course there must be the same characteristic connected like I said. He also approaches "Allegory of the cave" attributed by Plato. As well as the sex discussion in the symposium, surprisingly a guy like me again with little concept of the ancient Greeks but throughout the course and the book also the way Cahill's interprets in such a way I know that we discussed what a symposium was and implemented the idea of what was being said in the book. Symposium is the Greek verb means "to drink together", from what I learned from my course, a drinking party that tends to include entertainment and conversation on a specific topic with discussion. Without knowledge how can we move forward?

My conclusion:

After reading, comprehending and realizing how aspects of the early civilization do in fact relevant to us today. The civilization of the ancient Greeks reveals how their cultural contributions preserves to sculpt our way of life, which I always had these little random questions about how things started basically and at this point this book was an answer for one of "those" random questions randomly , simply understood.

- This Is By Mohannad Taha.
MoeMoe1   
Jul 18, 2009
Book Reports / Key to get re-submitted! Anicent World History Paper [31]

way ahead of ya sean =) im on the beginning of the second page... but i dnt want to post because I might get caught plagiarism =[ possible if you guys can delete after i post? or what
MoeMoe1   
Jul 12, 2009
Essays / Would you consider today's society "celebrity obsessed" ? [6]

Would you consider today's society "celebrity obsessed" ?

you may want to use a reference what is currently surrounding the Michael Jackson Phenomenon in terms of his life and death. you may also want to speak about Farrah Fawcett struggle with caner and her ultimate death.

The above examples may seem to be a reflection of what has been considered an obsession on celebrity culture. What are you thoughts and opinions?

Any comments? what should I specifically discuss what major breakpoints?
MoeMoe1   
Jul 11, 2009
Book Reports / Key to get re-submitted! Anicent World History Paper [31]

1. what do you mean by arguments?
2. i don't get what you mean main examples.. can you give me a example of that?
3.. you mean answer my own question " was it worth reading? " ?

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