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Posts by Saqib
Name: Saqib Ahmad
Joined: Oct 25, 2013
Last Post: Nov 30, 2014
Threads: 4
Posts: 14  

From: Saudi Arabia
School: Manarat Al Riyadh

Displayed posts: 18
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Saqib   
Nov 30, 2014
Research Papers / Paragraph highlighting the employment situation in Saudi Arabia. Need help with phrasing. [2]

For many years the gulf countries have been suffering from one problem: the fact that expatriates form the vast majority of the labor market. Take Saudi Arabia for example, among the Saudis, the unemployment rate is an astonishing 12%. This is despite the fact that Saudis make up 92% of the workers in the public sector. In the private sector expatriates immensely outnumber Saudis. Similar is the case with other gulf countries. Governments have come up with a simple solution to this problem, to put quotas on the number of expatriates firms can employ. Also as time passes to reduce these quotas, until the point that the local workforce is being used at it's fullest. This is known as Ization.
Saqib   
Mar 31, 2014
Writing Feedback / Article: "What do you want to when you grow up?" medical student [5]

"What do you want to when you grow up?" When I ask this question to people I get a variety of responses. For example some people say that they don't know while others say that they want to engineers, police officers, etc. Today I have written this article to highlight the benefits of pursuing a career in medicine.

1. High in Demand:
Flu, cold, cancer, and every other disease will always prevail on the Earth. Doctors were and will always be needed. Since not many people become doctors, you will always be high in demand. Doctors always manage to find jobs, regardless of wherever they are.

2. Working with people:
As mentioned in the above point mankind will always need doctors. That is why every day, doctors have to deal with many types of people. Above that doctors also get to help many people. So if you are good with people a career in medicine is definitely meant for you.

3. The Benefits :
Doctory is one of the highest paying professions, the average family doctor has an annual salary of $180,850 a year. After specialization the salary gets even higher, about $230,540 a year! Also there are some businesses that can only be setup by doctors. If an ordinary doctor makes $180,850 a year, imagine what a CEO of a large medical firm makes!
Saqib   
Mar 24, 2014
Scholarship / Factors and challenges in my life; find purpose in this world [7]

that helped me to gain

its too informal use well built instead

ripped

Since your trainer is person used the word who

I started going to the gym almost the entire week and do random stuff without any supervision

I went to the gym for almost the entire week and did random stuff without any supervision

or advice

on advice

pound

weight

and also a friend who opened my eyes

leave that phrase or adjust it; the flow is disturbed

He taught me

Also he taught me
Saqib   
Mar 23, 2014
Writing Feedback / internet is the great innovation in our lives; be selective to see many effects [6]

habit

I don't think that ''habit'' really fits in this context. I recommend using lives or lifestyle

influence their behavior.

Which influences their behaviour

Several

many

Without internet

without the internet

they will

they would

First of all, there are many websites present sexual and offensive contents which are difficult for parents to control their children such as what do their children see by online and who are their children chatting to.

First of all, there are many websites which contain offensive content, and above that it is hard for parents to control what their children are doing

Saqib   
Mar 23, 2014
Writing Feedback / "It sucks that we're dead." ; SHORT STORY [3]

First of all, I loved the story! The idea is BRILLIANT. But there is always room for improvement.

The newer children perked up at the mention of kites. Their eyes shone brightly at the memory.

I think these two sentences should be combined. The same should be done with

The older kids brushed the thought aside. To them, it was a distant memory that had been long forgotten.

. This will help improve the flow
Saqib   
Mar 15, 2014
Essays / 'pen and paper' exams [4]

No

( necessity ? )

( conventional ones ? )

You aren't required to explain what you have written. There is a type of figure of speech ( can't remember name, sorry!) that basically says that you can drop words since the meaning is understood. For example:

Saqib will do his homework, but I don't know when. Please note that I didn't write that ''I don't know when Saqib will do his homework.
Saqib   
Mar 15, 2014
Essays / 'pen and paper' exams [4]

( known as 'pen and paper' examinations)

I think that this shouldn't be in brackets as it disrupts the flow.
Corrected version:
There has been a lot of debate among educators about the true significance of written exams, which are also known as pen and paper examinations....

OR to avoid wordy expressions just write
There has been a lot of debate among educators about the true significance of pen and paper exams....
Saqib   
Mar 15, 2014
Undergraduate / 11th grade IB application - Introduce yourself as a learner. [2]

I am a first generation Nigerian

A bit extra

For the next point please note that I am an IGSCE student and might make a mistake so please get the next comment checked before applying.

I am a first generation Nigerian and a very knowledgeable open-minded thinker.

A bit too show-off
Saqib   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / The Boy whose Parents were Murdered by Life [6]

''Mama! Baba! Brother! Sister! ,'' Rafiq cried, ''where are you? Why have you left me?'' The boy who was barely twelve years of age wept while he sat all alone in the remains of his bombed house. Just a few days ago, he remembered, he was happy. He was with his family. But life is a heartless monster that lusts for destruction. Her main goal is to make everyone and everything suffer. Probably that's why she let Rafiq's house be bombed. Above that she also let his parents be killed. Poor boy, he is suffering because of a relentless 'person.' But what could he have done? All inanimate things are like that; they don't care for anybody or anything else. The only thing one can do is go with the flow.

The boy laid down on the sofa of what used to be a living room. Rafiq closed his eyes and relived every moment he had spent with his family. He remembered his parents' guidance which was concealed in their anger. The boy also remembered the protection his brother gave him, no matter how though of a situation Rafiq was in, he could always rely on his brother for help. He also remembered his sister's kindness; she always forgave him.

Rafiq opened his eyes and started crying. He cried out a flood of tears. ''KILL ME! KILL ME NOW, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE,'' Rafiq cried. After controlling himself Rafiq whispered,'' I miss you ... I miss you all.'' With a heavy heart and tear filled eyes Rafiq fell asleep. Even in his sleep he sobbed, as he still thought about his family.

Apparently God had answered his prayer. While he slept, Rafiq's whole village was bombed. This time nobody survived. Perhaps it's life way as saying sorry. Right now in the ruins of his demolished house Rafiq lays somewhere smiling, knowing that he will rejoin his parents...
Saqib   
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / THE POWER LIES WITHIN YOU - Changing a country [5]

What can a girl want more than feeling safe ? To be able to bike to school without being harassed? I am not talking about sexual harassment that has spread like a plague, I am talking about its derivation .When boys are born,they are taught that they are the ones with the absolute power

Umm.. I am an IGSCE student myself. In my opinion I think you should change the quoted part of the text so you state everything directly. You shouldn't have to correct yourself.
Saqib   
Oct 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / Destiny and Character; "Your moments of decisions affect your Destiny" [4]

Is character the resultant of destiny, or is destiny the resultant of character? This question is in equivalence to the question: do we have control over our future? To answer these critical questions we must first be able to define the viewpoints: character is destiny and destiny is character. 'Character is destiny' is the viewpoint where we consider that all of our actions affect our future, whether it is as imperative as saving a life or as meager as taking a step; whether it be for the better or worse. However, destiny is character is the belief where we say that our future has already been planned and that can't be changed (Perhaps the control lies with a supreme being).

Destiny is character, just like any other argument has its reasons as to why it is correct. One point being that mankind has control over his future. For example, a man may want to exit a supermarket and he sees two doors from which he could exit; one door on the right and the other on the left. He may then ask himself," What door shall I pass through?'' Obviously, he can pass through any of the doors he wants to, so let's just assume he exited using the door on the right. Another reason is that we have been given a brain to use, and most of us have been given the ability to use it (are sane). Imagine a person who wants to set up a business, in order to set up the business he has to pay a sum of money to a person whom he does not know. This person may then question himself in confusion as to whether he should trust the person or not. It is his duty to exercise his brain and decide what he should do. Also there is nothing stopping him from doing what he wants as mankind has been given the blessing to do what he wants. Lastly, why do some students get better marks than those who are even smarter? Because those students who get the better marks must study harder than those who get lower marks. Also all students have a choice as to whether they should study or not, wise are the students who decide to take advantage of the time.

There is also another angle which is Destiny is character. Imagine a supreme being who has the power to do anything he wishes, in other words a god. Imagine this god making a person named X, it has been decided that X will be a mass murderer due to his disliking of a certain race. In the future when X is asked why he did so he may reply,'' My future has already been planned, similarly, I was already destined to kill these people.'' Imagine an accountant who is very tired of the workload he has, who then decides to go on a vacation. Due to his haste he buys first class tickets in advance (These tickets are non-refundable and nonexchangeable). On the day of his vacation, just before he leaves his house he gets a phone call from his boss telling him that there is a crucial meeting which he must attend at all costs, sadly he then has to cancel his trip. The lesson of this anecdote is that man proposes and god disposes.

Think of a student whose wants to become the future M.D of Microsoft, howbeit he doesn't study at all. When he is asked "Why?" he replies,'' It is my destiny!'' During the day of his GSCE Computer Studies exam he realizes he doesn't know how to answer any one of the questions, imagine his tear filled eyes as he calls on god to help him. However, there is still a slight chance he may prove to be a genius and successfully answers all of the questions correctly. Also think of a person who picks on people weaker than himself. When asked "Why?" he may reply,'' My action may affect my future, but I live in the present!'' Nonetheless, there is a chance that he may have a good reason to bully e.g. they may have provoked him.

In conclusion, there are two viewpoints for you to choose from, and you should pick whichever you see fit. 'It is your moments of decision which affect your destiny,'' Tony Robbins
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