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Posts by ririchwang
Name: Andi Heriani
Joined: Mar 17, 2015
Last Post: Apr 12, 2015
Threads: 6
Posts: 5  
Likes: 4
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 11
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Apr 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / Information about the number of entries on a two new music websites [2]

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

The line graph gives information about the number of visitor of two new music websites include Music Choice and Pop Parade in fifteen days period of time. At first glance it is evident that, the number of people visiting the sites fluctuated during that period of time with a slight increase of each sites in the fifteenth day. With the exception of the 12nd and 13rd day, pop parade site gained more visitors than music choice.

With regards to music choice website, the number of visitor was thrice less than the visitors of pop parade site in the first day. Starting the period with 40,000 visitors, music choice net lost half of its visitor in the next day. Even though there were some fluctuations, the number of music choice visitors remained stable during nine following days, which was followed by a slight increase in the next three days with about 120,000. It then decrease to just over 70,000 visitors in the last day.

Turning to pop parade net, the number of its visitor remained stable for the first three days with 120,000 people. The site then experienced a gradual decrease and reached a trough of approximately 20 in the seventh day. The number of visitor increased steadily to about 150,000 during 11st day. However, it decreased sharply in the 12nd and 13rd day at about 85,000 and 80,000 visitors respectively. Thereafter, pop parade peaked and ended the period at 170,000 visitors.

Apr 12, 2015
Writing Feedback / Balanced proportion of male and female in further education should not be applied. [2]

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, there was a terrible injustice toward women in term of education. However, in the recent decade, female university applicants have outnumbered male. As a result, some people come to an idea to accept same proportion in gender. Even though it has benefit and drawback, I do not think that it is a good regulation for universities' learning system.

There are several reasons why people agree with the gender equality.
Apr 11, 2015
Speeches / The script correction for "My ideal vacation" [3]

good point well made, @eeya3919 ^^.. this is too interesting to read..
i just give some corrections here....

Without any consideration, you'd like to visit other nations, get some recreation(s) , sharpen you(r) sensation, feel a bit of isolation, (sigh!)

So, my best time vacation would be going to New Zealand with my family, sightsee(ing) the amazing sceneries, visit(ing) "Kiwis", exploreing the adventurous excitement and immerse(ing) myself in the Middle-Earth.
Apr 11, 2015
Writing Feedback / Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. [2]

overall, i like your ideas^^.. i just write some corrections here, hope it helps^^

Some universities do not have equal proportions of boys and ladies(i don't think those are the proper words, you should use either "MALE and FEMALE" or "MEN and WOMEN") in all major(s) . Several people believe that university must accept the balanced number of female and male school leavers due to the expectation that will be a discrimination among the both sexes and students mentality which are minority will be broken(this is too wordy)=>(Several people believe that there should be a balance number of female and male university students due to some concerns like discrimination and minorities' mental issue) . However, I personally believe that it is very difficult for universities to accept the equal numbers of both sexes because there are different interesting of each gender in some objects .

The first reason why colleges have to accept the same percentage of male and female is about discrimination. Result shows that there are many intimidation in some schools caused of(by?) significant gap between boys and ladies(men and women) . The majority tend to push(violate) the right of the minority students.

In addition, it is about student minority. The minority students are more likely to imitate the majority behavior. For example, there are many males who copy the female('s) style in some universities. As a result, there will be an(use article "a" when the next word begins with consonant) gender friction between them.

On the other hand, accepting students in equal proportions for all major(s) is very difficult to be implemented. This is because there are some subjects that male likes but female dislikes and vice versa. For instance, only few males who like the nurse subjects while just few females interested in machine major(s)(you use nurse subject's', so it'll be better if you use machine major's') . As a result, there are some diversities in (the) number of male and female students attending in nurse and machine major. It is indisputably truth that universities do not have to require the equal percentage of male and female.

The aforementioned evidence shows that even though the university that does not accept the equal numbers of students will make a terrible injustice and disturb scholars mentality, it is hard to implement the program. I personally believe that the university have a right to choose both optionseither to not or to apply it .
Apr 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Remnants of another culture that still linger on. [2]

Hi, your writing has given me knowledge about Indian's culture change.. well, i noticed a little error in articles using. "The" is used in front of "specific" things.. hope my simple suggestion will help improve your writing^^
Apr 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / People should learn other country culture from their own experience, rather than just by watching TV [4]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Being knowledgeable about other cultures is a growing trend nowadays. While some people learn about another country by visiting it, others argue that ones can gain knowledge simply by watching it through the television programmes and movies. I personally think that it is true to be able to learn by watching. Nevertheless, people cannot value another country just by seeing it in a small screen as there is no guarantee about the truth and they cannot experience the feeling of what they used to view from the screen.

Even though people can easily learn other cultures through the screen, there is still sort of things they cannot find by watching. Firstly, they would not be able to get the feel as when they visit directly. They just know it theoretically, not personally. For example, people know the temperature of tropic country by seeing it in channel, but they do not know how hot is in there. Thus, experiencing it is one important thing which is not available in reality shows or films.

In addition, most of programmes provided in television tend to be a good one as to have a high-rated achievement. This is why everything showed on the screen is questionable. People may learn languages by just seeing or hearing from television. Nevertheless, as the willing of the producer to bring up the country internationally by releasing a great and well-shown film, they cannot warrant the validity especially historical movies. Therefore, people cannot judge the country by television.

A lot of people seem to think that it is easier recently to learn other countries as many a good program about cultural is produced. However, the truth about the program and the feeling are just something people have to experience directly.
Apr 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Some persons claim, modern buildings ruin cities, others argue that they add interest. Discuss both! [2]

Some people say that modern buildings are ugly and are ruining our towns and cities, especially when these buildings are very different from those around them. Others say that they add variety and interest. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recently, the success of the city is valued mostly by its eye-catching architecture. Some people think that high-rise new center is ruining cities as its imposing look which is different from other buildings can attract many people. As a result, the more people come, the more disturbance inhabitants can have. In contrast, others believe that it is precisely beneficial for the city to be famously known by every person as to why I agree with the existence of towering building.

Apr 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, advanced buildings adorn many places in a country. [3]

Because of this, some people believe that these towering buildings have special attractions for cities and towns as those are differencedifferent from others like Burj al-Arab's hotel in Dubai.
Apr 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / People can learn more about another country just by watching than visiting it. how true is this? [3]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it. How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?

Learning a different culture might take a lot of effort. As such, few people think that understanding about other countries through movies or television broadcast are good media for humans since they do not have to spend much money and time. In contrast, some others argue that travelling is the best manner in order to recognize a foreign culture because they are able to do activities which cannot learn by seeing films or television programs. I would also argue that sightseeing would help someone to learn the new custom.

A visually recorded like documentary on television has a greater power to promote a tourism more than the written or the spoken word. For this reason, in the last ten years, many television programmes and movies compete to broadcast about culture and history, so people can learn other countries without spending much money and time. For instance, National Geographic Channel shows about Rio Carnival in Brazil interestingly. In fact, humans do not have to visit Brazil in order to know about that celebration. In other words, it is evident that people are possible to learn the different culture through information provided by television and films.

On the other hand, travelling is a good decision for people who have much time and money. This is because they enable to get along with inhabitants and are doing the culture which it cannot do just by watching some programmes. A good example would be La Tomatina Festival in Spain. Even though it was displayed on television or magazines, tourist cannot feel the situation there . Compare to when people visit Spain, they can allow and enjoy that festival with pleasure. It is evident that going to other countries would give people more valuable experiences and knowledge.

In conclusion, it seems to me that taking vacation to the new states would give people lesson of culture and history directly. If people travel to other country, they would have chances to communicate and learn about the country so well. It is imperative that people ought to save their money in order to travel a country for getting experiences that make their life more beautiful.
Apr 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / Once people grew up in one place, now it is changing. Staying in one place or moving around oftenly? [3]

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?

Growing up in the same place was a common circumstance for people in the past. As such, for some people, staying in the same place in their whole life would maintain social relation, but this automatically gets them bored. On the other hand, some others prefer moving from one to another place due to fulfilling their needs, while they might feel difficulties to adapt with the new culture. If I were to choose, I would rather living in one place than having to move around.

The situation where people remain in one place for a long period definitely has merit and demerit. They would have a nice and strong neighbourhood as they had lived in the same place for a long time. However, growing up in the same circumstance, seeing the same people and enjoying the same scenery would be colorless. Hence, people cannot experience a new culture.

In sharp contrast, people these days are prone to migrate often. Moving around sometimes cannot be avoided when it comes to person's necessities, such as education, work, or just for self-longing. People can have a better life by moving to a whole new place where they can find a better job or have a high-quality education. Apart from that, it is disadvantageously bringing them problems since they have to spend so much money and energy, and most importantly they have to deal with the new environment. Based on this evidence, it has more drawbacks than benefit.

Ultimately, both living in one place and migrating to many places have advantage and disadvantage. Some a person has to make a move because of their urgent requirement even though it could cause them uneasy to face a culture change and run out of money. However, it seems to me that being a permanent residence at one place is more beneficial for people as they have been familiar with the place and do not need to spend amount of money which is hard-earned.