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Posts by cookie234
Name: Linh Vu
Joined: Jun 12, 2015
Last Post: Sep 29, 2017
Threads: 5
Posts: 10  
Likes: 3
From: Vietnam
School: Tran Phu

Displayed posts: 15
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cookie234   
Sep 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 : Death Penalty Abolition and Life Prison Applied [3]

convicts executions



The question whether to render a murder an execution has haunted the society in recent times. It is stated that this type of punishment can be affiliated with committing guilt, therefore, it should be replaced by life prison implementation. In my opinion, I totally agree with the mentioned statement for the viable reasons as followed.

In the first place, a capital crime can rob one's life from their hand which can leave a hostile memory for their family. This means that the society has deprived the right to survive and the accountability of the guilty criminal for their family. This can leave the legacy of the cruelty and unjustification. Considering the immortality of the punishment in medieval era that has been abolished in modern world for example. The criminals were racked with gallow or burnt on stake alive in front of their village or their kingdom. Furthermore, in some alleged murder-committing crime, the criminal can have time to gather incorborate evidence for their innocence.

For another reason, life in prison can iterate a murder's humane. During the prison sentence the inmate have the gap time to think about their guilty and this can awake one's austerity and compassion between people and people. This means that the society lets the criminals derive the grant with clemency to conjure up their life again. In my country, the prisoners can decrease their penalty through improved behavior. In addition, this can spark off a better civilian for the society from the prisoner.

In conclusion, death penalty should be abolished and replaced by life prison implementation for the 2 aforementioned reasons.
cookie234   
Sep 29, 2017
Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing: Internet brought a load of information to its users [4]

I like your essay, it is cohesive and well-written. I think there may be some flaws in your essay, though. Although it might be believed considered

=> because you have already had one" believe" in your essay, you can use" consider" instead of" believe"

by skeptical=> by skepticism
increase=> increases
amount of timeusing the available => to use
Keep trying! Love u
cookie234   
Jan 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / What do you think is the biggest environmental problems in VN? How can you solve the problem? [6]

Here is one of my speaking topics in my country. Help me with it. Thank you so much ^^
Vietnam is on its way to become an industrial country, therefore, there will be unavoidably negative effects on the environment, especially water pollution, which is the biggest environmental pollution in our country.

Water pollution is any chemical, biological or physical change in quatity that does harm to living organisms or desired uses. Although the gorvenment has applied the policy about protecting the environment, water pollution keeps rising considerably. One direct cause is the industrial company. They discharge toxic chemicals or raw sewage directly into the sea without regulation. For example, in Bac Ninh province, there are a large amount of untreatable garbage, which leads to the pollution in water supply. Another cause of this matter is the backward living standard in the suburban areas. All the rubbish is not treated and thrown into the water. In this way the environment pollution will become more and more serious.

Therefore the government and population should work together to protect the environment in the most effective way. To begin with people's attitude, they have to learn the importance of water to their life and do something the simplest methods to protect the environment by reducing water use or unnecessary wastage. People should also put efforts in planting trees and collecting all litters in their areas. While going to seas, rivers or lakes, taking the precaution of not throwing waste into them is also important. By these ways with the participation of the whole society whether or not the current situation of our environment is seriously negative, we can still keep the water environment friendly.

The main conclusion can be drawn from this discussion is that we learned the importance the water bring to us, therefore one individual has to be aware of it and determined to fight against the pollution.
cookie234   
Jan 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / GRE: Government funding for arts necessary or threatens integrity? [3]

Here is my comment.
Consider for an instance=> For instance
While thinking of Renaissance age people such as Leonardo Da Vinci, Michalenagalo etc =>I'm sorry but I can't get this.
I love your feedback really. Good job :)
cookie234   
Dec 11, 2015
Undergraduate / Being the Biggest Brother - Personal Statement - My world [3]

Being the first born of the new generation of family is a momentous thing thatrarely happens=> I just can't get it.
.I'm sorry as I can't find any small mistakes in your story. Anyway I really love your story, just keep moving.
cookie234   
Oct 15, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should troublesome students be keeped together or educated separately ? [3]

It is often that schools have good-manner students with bad students, disciplined students with ill- disciplined students. Disruptive school students at times have such a negative influence on others that they are considered to learn and be taught separately.

In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this solution because of the reasons as follows.
One reason for my disagreement is that we may make them feel confused, lack of confidence and even feel like being ostracized. People tend to be attention-seekers. As a result, they will use all means possible, namely behaving badly to obtain the much needed attention from their teachers. In addition, their effort of the teacher will be counter- productive in comparison with the decline in the bad students' study quality.

Another measure is that when studying with others who are better than us, we will learn from their motivation and try our best to change for the better. Thus this will bring us the result better than we think.

Last but not least, in our society, good and bad people coexist. It's urgent to help each other.As a result the good students should at times be taught to be responsibility with their friends even though they are not good enough in their study. This not only brings the strength for their friendship but also the feeling of happiness and smile to everyone. For the good students who have done something good, for the bad students who see how much better they have changed for.

On the other side, when class has all the disruptive or disobedient students it is easier for teachers to observe and measure their students effort and quality as well as their mistake to help them fix themselves.

In conclusion,I believe it is necessary to deal with the disruptive problems in schools. But how we can do it is the most important. To bring the best effective result when we choose whether or not to separate bad students in a group to teach them and educate them is necessary.
cookie234   
Jul 3, 2015
Undergraduate / So why would I pick the University of Texas? Simple. Because of the computer science program. [3]

Here're my comment :
When I find a topic interesting, studying stops being work => worked and more about enjoyment more of enjoyment
there's no more history classes => are
The other job, I want to do the programming for a game. => The other job that I want to do is the programming for a game

. I might not always succeed at => in
Vices go against everything I work for and desire => desire for
I'm sorry if I just could help you with your grammar, but anyway I really love your writing. Hope you can do the best with your application. ^^
cookie234   
Jun 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / The controversial issue - how to combine spendings for education with sport and recreation? [6]

Government should spend more money on education than recreation or sports. Do you agree or disagree?

In this world, there're more and more high demands for life. When life is changing, education, recreation or sports are both deeply concerned. Recently, there 's a controversial debate about whether government should invest for their education rather than recreation or sports. In my point of view, I think it's best to advance these two edges of life, according to the reasons as follows:

In the first place, as you know, they usually say" Children are the owners of the country", we need to bring the best condition for our students like improving equipment for every school. For instance: it's so convenient for our school to have a huge library containing many books of every subject, having a beautiful scenery and modern furniture. It's like a real paradise existing in our school. The library is best for self-studying, saving teacher's time and also enhancing independence of studying. Besides, if everyone has their own computers like many developed countries in the world, they will learn many chronological tends from distance learning.

Secondly, we should award to the students who have got great achievement in studying after time elapses. . It's a good way to encourage students or paying compliments for example: by giving good- child cards to the children who are good ones at nursery school, reward for those who have got high marks in some competitions. By these ways for many students it will be their energy to keep up with their level or even get promotion. That money or rewards are worth being given to those students.

In addition we should develop teacher's quality. Teachers play a strongly important part in making up genius for our country. Thus, it's necessary. By many ways, with many courses even abroad ones, our teachers are more and more experienced and professional in teaching.Otherwise, we can hire foreign teachers from reputed schools in the world to come to your school for teaching. Through this method, your school's teachers can learn experiences from the qualified hired teachers so that they can apply it in their teaching.

On the other hand, reaction and sports are two typical needs for humans that needs investing. For example, there are good programs for viewers to watch every day but besides that, because of low cost,, the quality has gone down, leave a negative effect for watchers like many programs containing bad contents, irrelevant... Or in many amusements, the playing area isn't reliable enough for players or tourists.Entertainment is important and urgent. As a result, many experts are dealing with this problem to satisfy everyone. To train good athletics to join the world competitions.Sometimes, the small money is a sympathy and encouragement for our athletics to compensate for what they have devoted their life and spirit to the country.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the money government invest for both education and recreation or sports is urgent and worthing. They all play an important part in the way of advancing our country. Investing like this is like expressing love and sympathy, and meaningful words for the soul of the country.
cookie234   
Jun 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / Traditional library vs internet - what should be more supported? [3]

I really love the way you think! In my opinion, your writing is so interesting, but there're still some small grammar mistakes such as: object to the biggest library hold => holds .

Besides, Firstly => First.
Your sentence should be shorter so that it will be easier to catch on what you're meaning.
And your conclusion should be longer as you have done with your opening.^^
Just keep trying. Good job!!!!! :)
cookie234   
Jun 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should sports athletes be rewarded with high salary? [3]

Good jobs!!! But there're still some small mistakes.
+Beingincapable participate in this industry => incapable of. You should be careful with your phrases.
+they may easily find themselves struggle with their livings -> struggling for their livings. You should look up these words in a good dictionary before completing yours.

+the amount of commitmentrequire -> requires
You should also use more phrasal verbs in your writings, it will help increase your score. In addition, your writing will be more interesting, if you have more examples ( from news or your own experiences).

Keep trying your best. Love.
cookie234   
Jun 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / University education helps get a better job or give more benefits for both individuals and society [4]

Help me with my essay. Thanks a million ^^
Nowadays many people think that university education is a steady way in our life and make a choice of learning in university. Some believe that it can help them assure a good job after graduating. Others believe the goal of university is much more intensive with broadening benefits for both individuals and society.

First of all, it is obviously true that with the support of university degree people can get a higher position in our career. They think that this can help maintain and keep the pace of the improvement in their life slowly but effectively. For the majority of students who attend university, this is an ideal prospect.

However there are more benefits you can have from university education.In the first place, we can take the advantage of leaving far from home and family to grow up. The point here is that students can have more experiences on their own . We have to learn ourselves the typical solutions to approach our daily problems. In addition this is a good chance for us to improve our skills and abilities such as: communication skills, working skills, self-studying skills, and living skills also. We will have to learn and take responsibility for what we have done. There's no doubt that it can make us more mature and independent. Thus we will feel more self-confident when interfacing to the real life.

Moreover, as you know our world today is the dawn of the commercialized civilization, this situation will lead us to join the economy, working part time helps us have more first hand experience. We will know the strategy of working and living and play a part in doing contribution to society. As well we will have to live economically and understand the value of the money we can earn.

In conclusion, it can't be denied that how important and meaningful university education play a part in students' lives. Improving your attendance in university leads to get a good job and take advantages for individuals and society also.