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Posts by JIDA
Name: imanina
Joined: Oct 2, 2015
Last Post: Oct 9, 2015
Threads: 8
Posts: 5  
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 13
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JIDA   
Oct 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 2: how the feeling of staying in the apartment? [2]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Nowadays, people choose to live in a high apartment building. There are two point of views which discuss about it. Some people argue that staying in high-rise apartment make people loneliness due to they do not have any spirit. Others believe that living in condominium is better than people who live in house. I would utterly argue that staying in a high-rise condominium is much more pleasure.

There are several reasons why people choose living a flat building, thanks to it makes them get better sense of community. Firstly, they can meet each other when they join together for amenity and convenience things like a swimming pool, a fitness room and also a tennis court. In this place, they can play sport together and also share about what they have done during the day. Afterwards, they can ask the apartment office about organizing an event, such as a monthly book club or games night and also a regularly scheduled time and day for walk or bike together, weekly play dates for moms, dads and their children.

In contrast, some argue that there is no community spirit in there, so the impact of living in condominium being unhappy because they have no friend or little contact with others. For instance, several persons who staying in condominium have a busy job, so they never communication each other. That reason makes several persons choose staying to in houses which they know neighborhood. As a result, they become independent person and never meet the other neighbors.

To conclude, staying in apartment is more enjoyable than in housing. In my opinion, living as a community is the best way to live. People who stay in there do a great job of creating community driven atmosphere.
JIDA   
Oct 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / I would argue that mankind can learn much about another countries when visiting them directly [2]

Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it.
How true is this statement? Is there anything you can learn about another country by visiting it that you cannot learn by watching programmes and films about it?


Some people believe that they can learn much more about the other countries by watching television shows and movies rather than visiting the state directly. I would argue that mankind learn much another countries when they visit directly because they can gain information completely.

There is reason why others argue that watching television shows and films get much more information. These days, there are heaps of TV programs that we can see every day. TV's program offers several good points of information and give experience about that country. For instance, there is popular TV shows for travel named Aerial America. In each episode, this program provide tour of U.S state or destination in the United States. This entertainment can broad our horizon and learn to know about the condition of country, but sometime every information which is showed on the television has edited by journalist. This happens because TV show's has personal interest for catch up ratings show, so they edit the information which is can attract audiences so that increasing their rating television program. As a result, more often watch TV's program, it will have information further. Actually it depends on merits of the programs.

In contrast, some people believe that they cannot obtain their experience before they visit that place, because they will learn by themselves to recognize the environments and can share information to the local inhabitants. Afterwards, they not only can see the culture but also join in their culture immediately which is it cannot be done by watching television.

All in all, even though learn about another country from television programs and films have a bit of benefit such as save much time and money. Nonetheless, I utterly argue that directly visit to those countries has more benefits than just stay and watch from small screen.
JIDA   
Oct 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / The common access to the new technology may favour the young people and give them more opportunities [4]

With increasingly technologies and globalization appear, it's customary to say [...]

let me to rewrite your first paragraph...

Nowadays, the existence of technology and globalization make the youngest have more opportunities than the eldest because they can get success rapidly for the brightening future. However, in my opinion, when they were young, it would be a little bit suffering; but, they can get more chances when they get older
JIDA   
Oct 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / The Internet mania; a dependency, needs, or destruction [2]

Since the first time the internet was discovered in the last three decades, it has brought incredible impact in human life. Humankind is really cleaveaddicted to cyberspace and hard to detachdifficult to seperated from its the benefits which is offered. I strongly agree that the internet is very essential for easiness of human activities.

i strongly agree that the internet is
JIDA   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / What makes people happy? Good relationship with family and friends. TASK 2 essay [NEW]

Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?


People argue that the way of make them to be happy is have an occupation which they can enjoy at the work. In contrast, some people think that the reason of people to be happy is obtained from the other factors which are most significant. I would argue that this statement has two different views.

There are some reasons to explain when most of people argue that their job becomes the source of their happiness. In addition, they feel appreciated when their occupation can facilitate their idea. This happens because their creativity and hard work get attention from direct supervision. Afterwards, when they do something that they love, it can improve their skills. So, it is important, they have an appropriate job with their passion because they can enjoy all the time. Next, people feel hard and confused because they have complicated problem in their job, when they can through all of the difficulties on time, they would be happy. As a result, joy is essential to make people pleased. So, those can use their time to activity to make them amused such as love to their job.

On the other hand, people argue that when they have a job is not the key to happiness. They believe that there are several reasons which can make their happy. For instance, they have good relationship with friends and family. Good relation with other personal around their life also can be one of the sources of happiness. In the light of the good relationship, it make them forbear to stay live in the place and support them vigorous for help through their activity. As a result, the friendly environment becomes one of the important things that makes them pleased in their lifetime.

In brief, I strongly agree that the reason of people to be happy from other factors not becomes their job. So, they need many factors in their lifetime to make them strong throughout in terrible condition such as good relationship with family and friends.
JIDA   
Oct 7, 2015
Writing Feedback / The most crucial creation in the last 30 years - the Internet [4]

The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Over recent years, the internet becomes the most essential creation. Most of people use the internet because it has more merits for their life. I would argue that both of them have positive and negative implications.

There are loads of demerits the usage of the internet. Firstly, criminals increasingly use the internet to steal people's money. They can do easily to get more money from it by influencing people with some tempting words in the internet. Unfortunately, people could be interest with their words and give their money to deceiver. Afterwards, people tend to confuse because they have bounded rationality because mankind cannot filter plenty of information. It makes the users difficult to choose good information.

In these days, the internet has revolutionized communication. It becomes important innovation which can help human activity to do something more easily than before. Those can use feature of internet such as email. The use of email create send message becomes more flexible and faster than send letter by post office. In bygone era, people sent message using a conventional way when they sent letter. They spent long time until the message into the people who want to be able to received the message. Moreover, it gives us instant access to information on almost any subject across the curriculum, including articles, illustrations and journals.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that the usage of the internet has merits and demerits for each. I believe that the existence of the internet help our life more simply even though it has an obviously deteriorating effect. So, it depends you how to using the internet.
JIDA   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / To be born, live, study, work, and even die in the same place [2]

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?


Nowadays, inhabitants frequently move from one place or position to another. On the other hand, in bygone era, people usually lived in one location to be born, live, study, work even die in the same place. In my opinion, stayed in one place and moved to another place had advantage and disadvantage for each.

I believe that living in same place in their lifetime had an advantage. Inhabitants were always close relationship to their family and friends because they lived together for many years, so they can share each other in their life. In contrast, there were disadvantages as well. Firstly, maybe some of the people had problem with each other, when they had an argument with someone, they still to see them everyday. This problem cannot be avoided and it would be hard to get away from them. Afterwards, people probably got bored easily because their lives were mundane, facing the same place, same streets and same people everyday and they rarely get something new in their life.

However, at the moment, there are several merits when citizen mobile from place to place for many time. In addition, People can take more and more about the world and obtain experiences what they want to get. The second, they can get more friends from different area. In contrast, they cannot meet their family and old friends because distance make them faraway and also they must to adapt with the environment every time when they moved to another. Next, inhabitants have complicated problem for example, they have to prepare equipment, house and even new school for their children.

All in all, moving from place to place to find a new way is obviously better than staying in one place throughout the life. because they can get several experiences when we go in the different area and also try something new in there.
JIDA   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Tourism has many demerit effects [3]

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.
How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.


Those believe that the existence of buildings' impressive are essential for urban area while others think they ought to spend their money to improving others public facilities, I believe that both of them are important for the city.

Those agree that spectacular buildings are significant for a town because it has advantage they can get from there. There are many impressive buildings which are built by the town around the worldwide. it can describe that it is development area and rich city. For instance, The Hofburg in Vienna, this building gives beautiful architecture which are unique building and stimulates people to see and visit. it has treasure with large collection of the Holy Roman Empire and Imperial regalia. The city becomes famous around the worldwide and becomes a tourism place. As a result, creating the impressive building, as a inhabitant can get more pride because it.

However, others argue that money should be spent to building which can the children more brilliant than before and focus in health society. School and hospital buildings are needed by people because the school is place for student to broad their horizon and sharpen their skills. Next, the hospital is needed by the patient who want to get cure in there.

To sum up, I think that all of the buildings are essential to the town. I cannot choose which the better one then leave the others. I can give the solutions that we can look for the company who want to pay those impressive buildings. As I know, the impressive building can be built by private companies who have much money. The other side, the public facilities such as the hospitals and schools will be funded by the local government in the city.
JIDA   
Oct 6, 2015
Writing Feedback / Respect the environment by travelling with responsible manner - IELTS : Writing Task 2 [4]

hi Ochio, i think your idea is good, but let me try to give some suggestions on your passage.

I suggest you in paragraph one, you can write just for the introduction. so, you can split your body paragraph from there.
in the second paragraph in your essay, you can follow this pattern ( one idea, reason, example, effect, and your conclusion)

In my view, I cannot deny that tourism activity gives some negative impacts to the environment. Even though the countries whichwhere people visit can gain income from the tourism, the harmful effects of that activity cannot be avoided. Some of the negative impacts from tourism occurs when the amount of visitors isare greater than the environment's ability to deal with the visitor volumethe volume of visitors .

However, those are not enough to avoid the demagingdamaging effects of tourismetourism .
JIDA   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / Which is More Important, Building an Impressive Buildings or Improving Inhabitant's Facilities? [3]

Several humans believe that a great and amazing structures are necessary for every town. Whereas other argue that it is more(than what?) important to spend more money for building an educational facilities and health facilities. This essay will discuss both points of view. ButOn the other hand, in my opinion, it is more useful to spend money for improving schools and hospitals.

do not use transition word "BUT" in the beginning of a sentence in more formal writing.

However, I do not argue that these argument is more useful than improving schools and hospitals. The first reason is that it will be more beneficial, because if we build or improve schools, it will increase the quality of education and also ifwhen we fix the health facilities, it can make inhabitant more healthier. Then, improving school and hospitals can show that the country or the city resposible to its population and itstheir future. Because a good education will bring a good human resource which will develop the city. Therefore, again, building an educational and health facilities are better than impressive construction.

keep writing Ani !
JIDA   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / Raising awareness among tourists about the serious consequences of their reckless actions [2]

Some people say that tourism has many negative effects on the countries that people travel to.
How true is this statement? What can tourists do to reduce the harmful effects of tourism on local cultures and environments?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience


Some argue that tourism has plenty of demerit effects when folk have trip on the countries that they visited. This essay will outline about activity which travel makers can do to decrease demerit effects on local culture and surroundings.

There are several reasons that the existence of tourism can have a negative impact on the environment. Firstly, many buildings including roads, hotels, or parking-place damage natural habitats of animals and plants and spoil the landscape. Afterwards, from cultural perspective, maybe they can loss local traditions like fishing, farming, creating sculpture and many more. It is possible that local inhabitant are forced to work in the tourist industry. Next, tourism may cause increase of nature problems. It is because visitors who came from other cities or countries consider that they do not have to improve the environment. The main point is, the tourist destination do not have any policies or rule, so some holidaymakers tend to neglect the problem of around environment.

In terms of solutions, I believe that the tourist should be responsible to reduce this problem. Every travelers should be given some rule before entering the tourism. So tourist tend more aware during travelling in every destination where they would visit. Next, tourist ability to pay tax rate for the tourism because it can be used to improves or repairs their facilities. Finally, tourist must have awareness about the environmental, they must keep their rubbish, so they have to throw away it to trash in the right place.

Therefore, it is clear that problems caused by tourist and the presence of tourism are very serious. Yet tourist have a responsibility, so it may ameliorate the problems.
JIDA   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / How talent shows find a legend [2]

However, there is essential benefit where this reallywhich is the way to find an idol, someone who has unique talent, long career, and able to be a legend. Individuals can learn from their way and bring (deliver) value to share. Some famous singers like Clay Aiken, Kelly Clarkson, Billie McKay, Taylor Hicks, etc. They are the winner of competition that has excellent career. So, they are not only entertain but also bring the real talent and value on stage. They come from remarkable talent show programs . As the result, they are able to create and produce creation, art, invention, like album, cake or meal, which useful and loved.

To sum up, although there is talent show offer just an entertainment, in other side many tv programS which really create a star, a new idol who can get a great career, event became anas legend. As audience, we should support great talent show which has good reputation.
JIDA   
Oct 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / Singing talent show program in television - IELTS TASK 2 [4]

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.

Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Nowadays, the existence of talent show in television is more attractive in the public. Some believe that these shows a good way to get talented people, whereas others think it is just providing entertainment. This essay will discuss both point of view.

Some people tend to join televised talent show to gain their purpose of life to success because this events more likely to the inhabitant who want to be artist but they do not have more money to show their hidden capability. For instance, American Idol and The X factor USA is held in the United States of America, Indonesia Idol and Indonesia Got Talent is held in Indonesia which offer several music competition in their country. These shows help them to change from ordinary people to "megastar" in their country or maybe in the whole world. As a result, these programs are good to get talented people.

On the other hand, some claim that this show intent on entertainment. There is no business to obtaining real talented people. So, many talent shows in television offer some story from candidate such as their background family, their unique styles. Audience are asked to vote their favorites nominee based on their performance, but in reality, some viewers vote their contestants based on their story which is captured on media such as their big effort to become star, their effort to boosting their family income.

To conclude, I would argue that this programs prefer to show talented people for entertaining than searching real talent for their purpose.
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