giangnt248
Jul 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment.Why is this happening ,and what [8]
woa! i have to admit that your essay is so well structured using a wide range of vocabulary. perhaps you can get band 6.5-7.
however, i think that you will be pleased if i point out some of errors in your essay.
judicaljudicial sanctions
possible ------>attainable/conceivable/feasible/viable/achievableYou need to replace this word with above series of corresponding words
For instance,if a first time offender is released and applies for work,----> you need to check this grammer error, it's not correct.
In conclusion,when it comes to prevent perpetrators of a crime from conductingathe second one, we, as a society , should make all possible effortscoordinate concerted efforts in order to support and reintegrate these people
Hope you find my suggestions useful :)
Oh, if you would like to achieve band 7, you have to work much harder and harder, because in real IELTS exam, you have to consider both time and your essay. So, i think that you need to gradually get to your upper band by assessing your contemporary band through mock test rather than trying to use many academic words although you do not understand their meaning so well and you don't study adequately grammer.
But do not worry because PRACTICES MAKE YOU PERFECT :) i believe you can do it, just try hard :)
woa! i have to admit that your essay is so well structured using a wide range of vocabulary. perhaps you can get band 6.5-7.
however, i think that you will be pleased if i point out some of errors in your essay.
possible ------>attainable/conceivable/feasible/viable/achievableYou need to replace this word with above series of corresponding words
For instance,if a first time offender is released and applies for work,----> you need to check this grammer error, it's not correct.
In conclusion,when it comes to prevent perpetrators of a crime from conducting
Hope you find my suggestions useful :)
Oh, if you would like to achieve band 7, you have to work much harder and harder, because in real IELTS exam, you have to consider both time and your essay. So, i think that you need to gradually get to your upper band by assessing your contemporary band through mock test rather than trying to use many academic words although you do not understand their meaning so well and you don't study adequately grammer.
But do not worry because PRACTICES MAKE YOU PERFECT :) i believe you can do it, just try hard :)