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Posts by Riandi31 [Suspended]
Name: Riandi
Joined: Aug 10, 2016		 Last Post: Aug 19, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
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From: Indonesia
School: University State Of Jakarta

Displayed posts: 11
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Riandi31   
Aug 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Why More People Than Ever Are Donating Their Bodies to Science [4]

hai hary
this some suggestions from me :

Recently, donating the body after deathdeath body to science necessities ...

However, not too long ago, it was taboo.

When they are done, theyit cremate the body or ...
maybe you must add variety vocabulary
just like
example change into instance
increase change into expand, escalate, extend

good job bro
Riandi31   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2- Write an essay on environment conservation and challenges. [3]

hello twid
it is good essay
after reading your paragraph, i have some suggestions:
i hope it will help

1. you should try to vary your vocabulary. please make sure that only one vocab which is allowed in one paragraph. for instance, you can change environment to circumstance or ambiance or atmosphere since you have written this vocab for more than one.

2. you can also change than to be : in addition, furthermore, also, what is more,
as such, your sentence will be better,

3. make sure that you have carefully checked your grammatical accuracy prior to posting,

good job buddy
Riandi31   
Aug 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / Controversy Land Reclamation in Jakarta [5]

hello hary
its about capital city of Indonesia
nice topic
i like it
i try to examine this essay

Reclamation has tendency to deceasedecrease natural ecosystem.

We are as occupant, should be generous for this issue. GovernmentThe Authority has releases the rule ...
We shouldmust support government way.it.

break a leg brother !!!
Riandi31   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The percentage of transportation access by people who come to New Zealand [2]

hai fadil
its first time for me to examine several essay
i hope it can be helpfull for you

there no source from your essayi think its almost 150 words

... when they are traveled in New Zealand, for instance by car, plane, coach, train and boat. The most common people dwell traveled by car, ...
... almost the same amount by plane and coach, more than 30 percent.
Theat least transportation who people used ...

i dont know what it mean

i think its enough
good job bro
Riandi31   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Fiji Wins First Ever Olympic Medal [7]

Fiji's rugby have won the first medal in Olympic, Rio De Janeiro. The final score was 43-7. Kolinisau as a captain had scored for his team with calm back over his head as he was rolled onto his back in a tackle to touch down in the corner.

Rugby back again for the first time during the last 15 tournament at 1924. The International Olympic Committee in 2009 add this game to the tournament. As time goes on fiji has been prepared since end of drought until the Olympics held at Rio De Janeiro.

Leone Nakarawa as player japan created trouble for the British players with rude. He played a part in the leadup to try the Fijians spread the ball from edge of the field and went within a meter of scoring before he was dragged down. Fiji has sent athletes to the Olympics ever since the Melbourne Games in 1956, but had never previously won a medal.

time.com/4449624/2016-rio-olympics-fiji-rugby-sevens-gold/?xid=homepage
Riandi31   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / summary TED's video: advice for new grads on living a succsessful life [3]

grat = i dont know what the meaning of this word, maybe change into "grade".

... school to prove her arguements whit surrond on her . In fact, besedbased on her data that grit is usually unrelated and as special items for whole peopledwell .
Riandi31   
Aug 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary, National Geographic This Chart Shows How U.S. Carbon Emissions Are Rising-Again [5]

Hallo Halim, after reading your paragraph, i have some suggestions:

The United State is the bigenermous industrial state in the world.
There are two reasons of it , because of energy consume and economic growth.
The companies could produce of many kind of production. That is good for its stateauthority and the others state . But unfortunately, that is bad for environmentcircumstance because of air pollutant, both of people orand animal in the world.

... consumption of energy without stoprecentless .

In conclusion, this is a big problem that has ...
Riandi31   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pandas Get to Know Their Wild Side [8]

According to the article, in the China there are species of giant panda which is a cultural icon of China then now have become rare due to rapid human growth so that the land for the giant panda began to decrease dramatically. The government says that there are several species in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003. To cover with these conditions, the government do insemination to stimulate the number of panda's born in China. Then, in order to maximize the cooperation between the China government and WWF to conduct further research into the panda's life. Then came the "papa panda" for known about living life of panda and take some giant panda's, who wear full body panda costumes and scented with panda urine for avoid young bears closely. Because the young bears must be independent. The workings of this way is to move the giant panda from the zoo to the wild in order to increase the population of giant pandas in China.

nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2016/08/giant-pandas-wild-animals-national-parks/
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