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Posts by KhatarizNS
Name: Khatariz Novrizki Sulaiman
Joined: Aug 14, 2016
Last Post: Aug 18, 2016
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  

From: Indonesia
School: ITS

Displayed posts: 8
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KhatarizNS   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Time Summary: Russia and Iran Fly Across a Key Threshold in the Middle East [3]

Hello jomul01
Here are some corrections from me:

to fly from its base to attack rebels in Syria

This condition leads ato growing of

Many analysts interpreted this condition as another poke from Russia's poke to U.S and its allies

The targets include the number of ammo depots

Even though the U.S has accused Russia of indiscrimination
KhatarizNS   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Malaysia and Singapore - there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications [4]

IELTS Writing Task 1: Science Qualification in Malaysia and Singapore

The chart in this text comparison of science qualifications held by people in Malaysia and Singapore. Overall, in both countries there are resemblances in the percentage of people's science qualifications levels.

It is shown that Malaysia and Singapore have a likewise percentage of people who have a master degree's qualification that takes three percent of its citizen which is the lowest percentage than other qualification level. However in bachelor's degree, there is a big difference between both countries, Singapore has higher percentage by ten percent than Malaysia.

Then, in School leaving exams level, Malaysia lead over Singapore by five percent with total thirty five percent of its population. Lastly, people with no qualification in science have the highest percentage of all qualification level , with Malaysian in front of Singapore by five percent. In conclusion, the people's science qualification degree of both countries is similar. Ironically, in both countries still a lot of people do not have science qualification degree.




KhatarizNS   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? [6]

Hello Ramzi
here are some corrections from me:

The speaker believes that it is

our habit that mad e us to be not listened.
>>out habit that made us to be not listned

He argues that there are 4 significant foundations that we need to be imposed

secondly is timbre, represents the way your voice
KhatarizNS   
Aug 18, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary TED Chinese Zodiac by Shao Lan [5]

Hello Faridadwi
here are some correction from me

actually it is a polite way

They can know their fortune and misfortune

Chinese Zodiac also influences their decision

because they believed in dragon years
KhatarizNS   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children Obesity ratio has risen in western countries [3]

The ratio of overweight children in western countries has risen by almost 20 percent in the last decade. Upon this problem, there are several reasons why this problem happens. Consequently, this is followed by some negative impacts on the children.

Lifestyle is an important factor for the children obesity. According to Center of Disease Control and Prevention, childhood obesity had doubled in children and quadrupled for adolescents in the past of 30 years. This means that the current lifestyle is not healthy for the children, children are not physically active because they tend to play inside the house rather than outside. They prefer to play computer or console games instead of doing sports. And the children are more interested in eating fast food that is not healthy for them. The number of junk food advertisements in television, radio and even internet make children want to eat fast food more than they should and this is disastrous.

The impact of childhood obesity is dangerous and can be life-threatening. Child with obesity are prone to health diseases like heart disease and diabetes mellitus. These diseases can weakens a child abilities. Beside that, being an obese also cause emotional changes for the child. A child with obese can feel easily depressed because they are being different with their normal friends. This can result in low confidence and individualistic manners. Hence, a child with obese can be hurt both physically and emotionally.

The conclusion is, The ratio of overweight children has gone up by relatively twenty percent in the last decade in western countries. Several reasons has caused this problem and then this problem is followed by negative impacts on them.
KhatarizNS   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Do you think that emailing and texting reduce the togetherness? Writing Task 2 [6]

Hi Hirani
Here are some suggestion from me

However I believe that the benefit aspects are more than the weakness aspects. >> However I believe that there are more benefit aspects that negative ones.

They are basically not encounter directly >> Basically, they are not ecountering directly

maybe it is just rephrasing corrections. And I want to say to avoid saying "he/she", you should say "people" instead
KhatarizNS   
Aug 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / Modern form of communication could be negative for us ?? [4]

Hello Mr. alfadmishal
here are some suggestion from me

Some people may think because of the social ...
>> the use of may here weaken your essay

even friends that you have never met for a long time

For instance, friends in junior high school who have saperated
KhatarizNS   
Aug 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / High taxes on fast food to solve the problem people who suffers health diseases from it [NEW]

Consuming too much fast food made people suffers from health diseases in some countries. Upon this problem, there is a suggestion that the government should increase the tax for fast food. In my opinion, I agree that the government should impose a higher tax for fast food to solve this problem.

Firstly, we should look upon of what made people choose fast food rather than healthy food. According to some surveys, people choose fast food because they are relatively cheaper than healthy food. So, if the government impose a higher text for fast food, the price of it will be higher and people who choose fast food can choose healthy food instead. Secondly, by having a high tax on fast food restaurants, fast food restaurants owner will think twice about opening a branch or even they will close their fast food restaurants due to high taxes. This way, people who prefer to eat in restaurant that sell fast food will move to healthy food restaurants. Healthy food restaurants can even take over the place of recently closed fast food restaurant that is strategical. Because of this, healthy food restaurants can pull more consumers. Lastly, while implementing high taxes, the government must promote healthy life trend. Then, citizen who are dissapointed for high taxes on fast foods can be reduced and people can live in healthy life trend. This way, the number of people who suffers health diseases because of fast foods can be reduced.

In conclusion, I agree that the government should impose a higher tax to fast foods to solve the problem of people suffering health diseases because of fast foods.
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