Writing Feedback / The main duty of parents and teachers to make children more sociable in society [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Writing Task 2 (Scoring Test Week-III)

Nobody in this world can lives alone without create social relationship. But, every children certainly don't know how to build social interaction without presence of adults who help them. So, I think parents and teachers in the school have the biggest role in supports the child being actively in their lives environment. In addition, the parents and the teachers are the first adult that very close with the child. Thus, both of them should take an action for directing the child being a good member of society.

Actually, the parents can do their roles through giving the child opportunity in being pro-social or fast responses towards every people that needs help in nearby of the child. First, surely the parents should show them a real example as the role models for children. For example, the parents usually active in any-social activity such as working together with other society in around their house every weekend. Parents can asks their children to join with them. Indirectly, through this simple attitude, the parents have been taught their children to be socialize and increase their ability in social interaction.

On the other hand, the teachers also have same position as important as the parents. For example, the teachers can educate the child to improves their social responsibility since early by anything of extra-curriculum activities. By doing some activity as being the member of scout team, can give the challenge to the child for makes them become more sociable. Because the children as being the students in the school also needs for making social group not only in the class but also in outside of the school. With become a member of scout, the child will be more practice in give help to other people directly and immediately can build up the social character to the children in society.

All in all, with giving support towards children for build them being active person in social relationship is the main duty of the parents and also the teachers to create these thing grow from inside of the child self.

(330 words)

Writing Feedback / The information about the main factors of lack productivity of farming land over the world [4]

Writing Task 1 (Scoring Test Week-III)
Causes of Land Degradation in Worldwide and Some Regions

The pie chart and the table provide information about the main lack productivity factors of agrarian in over the world and its specific effects toward soil reduction in several continents in 1990s.The pie chart and the table were presented in the percentage includes over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivating as factors of soil reduction. Overall, over-grazing is the highest factor of soil reduction in worldwide and also in Europe's continent during 1990s.

Based on the table data, Europe was dominated high scores almost in all factors and causes it became the highest ground-derivate by 23 percent with logging was 9.8 percent and followed by over-cultivation and over-grazing with 7.7 and 5.5 percent. Then, the second position of high soil degradation was happened in Oceania by the percentage is 13, which over-grazing as the most contributes with 11.3 percent. And the last, the country with the smallest land degradation was occurred in North America with only 5 percent. Additionally, to sum up almost all regions have difference in causes of soil degradation.

(171 words)

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Writing Feedback / We Should Pay Too Much Attention to Celebrities Lives or Ordinary People? [NEW]

Writing Task 2
The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationship of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, the news program are more variety. The people can enjoy some alternative topics not only about entertainment of celebrities but also about inspiring stories of ordinary people. I tend to agree with the statements which the ordinary people important to report as well as public figures. Because I think the ordinary people also can inspire others with share their live stories to wide people by mass-media.

In my opinion, TV programs which showing about celebrities live in a long day can make watcher are tedious. So, the people should receive new program such us reality show of ordinary people which have achievement or positive values to be shared. Therefore, the author of mass-media or the producer of TV's program should give more attention to ordinary people who can encourage other people. For instance, the live story of someone who can give better solutions towards environment or human life difficulties like. As example, Dr. Gamal Albinsaid as a young doctor who success with his action in build rubbish bank for create an insurance as the solution of poverty in around of his living place in Malang, East Java. In addition, by overseeing the examples of other actions, the viewer can be wiser and learn new positive side of other people lives. However, the celebrities also important to reports but not all of their lifestyle, presumably author or producer should report only things that appropriate for wide public consumption and certainly have positive impact to viewer.

In other sides, there are some celebrities who have multitalented and great achievements not only in their career on entertainment but also in their academic or job side. Some of them are Tasya Kamila, Cinta Laura, Maudy Ayunda and Vidy Aldiano. They are not only have many talents in singing, acting or presenting but also can prove their self can be motivated to young generation for reach higher education in abroad by get scholarship with they own effort or without use their popularity. Some stories like these, I think important for being public consumption. So, young people can more inspiring and burning them with higher motivations and dream to be success people in the future.

In conclusion, as long as the author of mass-media or program creator on television selecting with their news contents or just covers the ordinary people or celebrities who have positive accomplishment is better than if they creates an issue of celebrities just for entertaining people.

(405 words)

Writing Feedback / The English teachers were three times less popular in Ontario, than the French language tutors there [3]

Percentage of first-year teacher with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation (Unit 3 Page 36)

The graph provides information about the percentage of teachers were hired by years of graduation between 2001 and 2007. Overall, the graph of English language teachers has been downward trends and bottomed at 25 % while in the same year the French language teachers has been rose slightly and reached a peak at 75 %. According to the data, the French language teachers has been increased and higher than English language teachers.

Over seven year periods, the number of French language teachers had been recruited fell by 18 % from year of graduated in 2001 to 2002 and rose slightly to under 70 % before had been stable position over three-years periods from 2003 to 2005 and peaked at 75 % in 2007.

On the other side, the number of English language teachers had been plunge suddenly from 2001 to 2003 before rose steadily around from 40 % to 43 % between 2003 and 2005. Over three years periods stood at 2005 to 2007, the number of English language teachers had been drop dramatically to 29 % in 2007.

(179 words)

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Writing Feedback / Being abroad people become most concerned to all life problems [5]

WRITING TASK I (INTEGRATION PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE LIVING ABROAD)

The bar chart provides information of the difficulties people face when stay in abroad based on ages. Overall, the highest problems of the people includes economic plans, healthcare and education plans for child have been occurred on the young adults periods. Whereas the most problem such as education plans have been the least problem to people in 55 years old and above.

The other side, the problems of financial and healthcare necessity have been the higher priority than education plans for the young adults periods between 18 and 34 years old. However, according to development ages, the people becomes most concerned to all of the problem life includes the priorities of economical plans, healthier life concern and education planning for children. Based on the data, the healthcare concern has been upward trends in over people life time since young adults until elderly periods by 25 percent. At least, these problems could been increased for healthcare priority and had been decreased for finance concern and also education plans for child in the 55 years old or above.

(162 words)

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Writing Feedback / Parents should be concerning towards unhealthy lifestyle by overseeing their child's activities [5]

Write about the following topic.
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statements?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, the problems of unhealthy lifestyle has been faced the child life. Some of recent articles often reports the topic about the important roles of parents and schools as the agents of children first role models. I suppose the statements which said the parents and schools have the biggest responsibility in children lifestyle. Overall, the parents should be concerning towards common of unhealthy lifestyle by overseeing the child's activities started from their foods consumption to their un-healthcare behavior.

In fact, food choices always being the most common problems of the kindergarten or the child in early age period. However, some of the child usually eat some food or snacks that non-hygiene or not enough nutrition for their grown period. So, the role of parents and schools in here for directing the child to be more selected of their food consumption or snack choices. As example, the women as being the mother in Japan almost 75 % have been controlling their child food by provides the child for brings the meals before going to schools or play group. These aimed for prevents the child in consuming the unhealthy foods during in the school or outside the home. Whereas, the schools also can take their position as an agent of against the child in consuming unhealthy foods. For example, the schools can provides the healthy meals as menu of the school's cafeteria such as the chicken pour, fruits salad, vegetables egg rolls and other healthy drinks such as milk or yoghurt rather than supplies the flavor snacks or the sugary drinks.

In addition, the parents and the schools should be against the un-healthcare behavior of the child. For example, the child's behavior than non-hygiene during eating and playing time. Occasionally, the children keep eating or take a meals that has been fallen on the ground. So, the main duty for parents and the schools is giving the child's more knowledge of hygiene life such as simply practices of hand-wash before take a meals or after play. Whereas in the schools, the children should be got an information or socialization of hand-wash practices and its effect toward the children health. At least, the parents and the schools should have been giving an excellent role models to the child during their growing time.