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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 3)

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Freight forwarder - Why did you choose proposed course and institution - AAS

2 - The reviewer is not interested in the story of corruption in your country. He is interested in the reasons...

ScholarshipAroma - Feb 29, 2024 / Holt - Mar 5, 2024
202x GKS U - Personal Statement (University Track - Physical Therapy)

2 - The first thing I will advise you to do is write a totally new essay. Do not rehash your...

Scholarshipstarshineanon - Feb 27, 2024 / Holt - Feb 27, 2024
A leader of people - a short essay on a subject of personal importance to you

2 - The essay has room for improvement. For example, you should have had an expanded discussion regarding how you ended...

ScholarshipXUANHUA - Feb 26, 2024 / Holt - Feb 27, 2024
Engineering Project Management - skills and knowledge do you hope to gain from your study programme

4 - Please, your essay is full of ambiguity; be specific and give practical examples on how you will use the...

Scholarshipraihandimasm - Feb 16, 2024 / Aroma - Feb 27, 2024
Design in Architecture - AAS Scholarship - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

3 - you should more focus on connecting your academic background/professional experience to your motivation on choosing the course and major...

ScholarshipKata - Feb 20, 2024 / sselene - Feb 26, 2024
GKS personal statement for Master of Science in Business Administration

2 - There are only academic accomplishments mentioned in this essay. While it is well written at first glance, the reviewer...

ScholarshipDeepaaaa11 - Feb 23, 2024 / Holt - Feb 25, 2024
Food Science - Why are these knowledge and skills important to your country's development?

2 - The data that you present covers information relevant to your country. Therefore, the main thought of the reviewer will...

Scholarshipirndyhayw - Feb 23, 2024 / Holt - Feb 25, 2024
GKS Graduate Program 2024 PERSONAL STATEMENT - Interior Architecture

2 - While your motivations for applying to the program are admirable, you seem to fall short of the other qualifications...

Scholarshipsselene - Feb 21, 2024 / Holt - Feb 23, 2024
Maritime and Logistics Management; how will the proposed study contribute to your career

2 - You can remove the first paragraph in this case. It is not really an opening that directly responds to...

ScholarshipAroma - Feb 19, 2024 / Holt - Feb 22, 2024
Sop to pursue PhD in Climate Change/ Hydrology

2 - I really did not see any purpose behind this statement. A statement of purpose should not be confused with...

ScholarshipNahida Naya - Feb 19, 2024 / Holt - Feb 22, 2024
Media - Why did you choose your proposed course and institution? AUSTRALIAN AWARDS ESSAY

2 - Expand on these discussion points at the very start. These will be the basis of your university...

ScholarshipLordLordy - Feb 19, 2024 / Holt - Feb 22, 2024
Essay for MS application (Topic: Comparison between two types of Electric Vehicles and their future)

2 - Unfortunately, I am not impressed by the writing level you have presented in this essay. Rather than sounding like...

ScholarshipHassan007 - Feb 13, 2024 / Holt - Feb 18, 2024
Personal statement in Plant Pathology Ph.D. for KGSP scholarship 2024

2 - You are already applying for a PhD scholarship. One of the highest levels of academic study. So application information...

Scholarshipaya ibrahim - Feb 12, 2024 / Holt - Feb 18, 2024
The power of teaching others - Networking Essay for Chevening Scholarship

2 - Your networking essay is too busy. It is without a clear and accurate direction that would show how your...

Scholarshipommar - Feb 10, 2024 / Holt - Feb 11, 2024
Personal Statement for GKS-Graduate Scholarship for MBA

3 - Thank you for your guidance. I understand your feedback and will make the necessary changes. Your feedback has provided...

ScholarshipSS21 - Feb 6, 2024 / SS21 - Feb 10, 2024
Turkey Scholarship-Biotechnology, biology

2 - Remove the reference to your academic background. That should not be included in a motivational letter. The story about...

ScholarshipTungaa123456789 - Feb 9, 2024 / Holt - Feb 9, 2024
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GKS IN PROSTHODONTICS (DENTISTRY)

2 - Your essay is very wordy but not really very informative. The reviewer does not have the time to read...

Scholarshipdanidanj04 - Feb 5, 2024 / Holt - Feb 9, 2024
Personal Statement | GKS-G Scholarship 2024 | International Relations

2 - Your paragraphs tend to overwhelm the reader due to the volume of information you try to cram into each...

Scholarshiphyoon - Feb 2, 2024 / Holt - Feb 7, 2024
'I have a dream' - Why this major and university (scholarship essay)

3 - @Holt I really appreciate your precious feedbacks. Again, I sincerely thank you for your time. I wish you have...

ScholarshipMochi_Krystal - Jan 24, 2024 / Mochi_Krystal - Jan 29, 2024
Community service (scholarship essay)

2 - You are not being asked to define what a community means to you. That whole paragraph is worthless in...

ScholarshipMochi_Krystal - Jan 24, 2024 / Holt - Jan 28, 2024
Personal Statement about leadership and goals for scholarship

2 - There are 2 things that you need to revise in this essay. The first is the quotation and the...

Scholarshiptriplej - Jan 24, 2024 / Holt - Jan 28, 2024
Incident with friends - scholarship essay in NTU

2 - What you wrote here has nothing to do with values and beliefs. These are character traits that you feel...

ScholarshipLeon Oswald - Jan 20, 2024 / Holt - Jan 22, 2024
Global business - personal statement for GKS scholarship

2 - The essay is a personal statement based on your interest in Korea, what you want to learn, and your...

Scholarshiplunaemily - Jan 20, 2024 / Holt - Jan 20, 2024
Computer Science Degree - Stepindium Hanguricum Scholarship for applying to CS BSc

2 - A motivation letter should not contain any references to your high school studies or your position upon high school...

ScholarshipMoBassem - Jan 15, 2024 / Holt - Jan 20, 2024
Design: an art and a science - Personal statement for GKS-G scholarship

3 - Okay please. Will work on it...

Scholarshipkerchscholar - Jan 7, 2024 / kerchscholar - Jan 17, 2024
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR MASTERS IN PUBLIC HEALTH FOR GKS

3 - @Holt Thank you so much. I felt is not very necessary to explain in details, but I know better...

ScholarshipGlorychi - Jan 3, 2024 / Glorychi - Jan 13, 2024
Personal Statement GKS Master Degree Civil Engineering - Embassy Track

2 - Your first paragraph is too busy. You compressed information that should be discussed at length using individual paragraphs. The...

Scholarshiphhksm - Jan 7, 2024 / Holt - Jan 13, 2024
A personal life experience with the lessons and experience you gained from it; scholarship essay

2 - The first sentence needs to be revised. Clarify that you mean the environment of a person, a group situation,...

Scholarshiptriplej - Jan 7, 2024 / Holt - Jan 13, 2024
Hungary and Uganda - Stipendium hungaricum scholarship letter

2 - Since you lost your mother at birth, you were still incapable of experiencing the changes that you indicated...

Scholarshiphuzaifahmuhammad - Jan 6, 2024 / Holt - Jan 13, 2024
Stipendium Hungaricum Motivational Letter - BSc Biology in University Of Debrecen

2 - A motivational letter focuses upon the applicant's interest in pursuing his interests in the field of his potential profession....

Scholarshipsrakin - Jan 6, 2024 / Holt - Jan 13, 2024
describe your favorite place in your hometown. How does it contribute to your life experience?

2 - Your description of West Lake seems to be lacking. You are describing the roads but not the specific place....

Scholarshiphuyenan - Jan 4, 2024 / Holt - Jan 10, 2024
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR DOHA GRADUATE INSTITUTE ADMISSION - rich academic programs for students

3 - I am writing a personal statement. Could you please help me out?...

Scholarshipsieh - Dec 27, 2023 / sieh - Dec 27, 2023
KGS personal statement graduate media and communication

3 - @Holt Hello, thank you for your answer. Actually I want to go at Yonsei or Hanyang university. Do you...

ScholarshipHireathhh - Dec 13, 2023 / Hireathhh - Dec 25, 2023
Personal Statement for Erasmus Mundus Joint Master Program - Global-MINDS

2 - I cannot say that this is an effective personal statement at this point. The strength of your interest in...

Scholarshipannidaak - Dec 9, 2023 / Holt - Dec 25, 2023
Information security - Erasmus Mundus Scholarship Essay

2 - Paragraphs 1 and 2 are not necessary for this discussion. The focus of Erasmus Mundus is to find the...

ScholarshipScholar23 - Dec 18, 2023 / Holt - Dec 23, 2023
GKS - Study plan. One year of Korean language course

5 - Thanks, it was the first draft so i didn't really put a lot of effort in the grammar side...

Scholarshipmolly1303 - Nov 26, 2023 / molly1303 - Dec 9, 2023
Combining arts and coding texas A&M engineering essay

2 - Bring up the reference to the college professor. Lengthen that discussion to allow you to expand upon how his...

ScholarshipLeawi - Nov 22, 2023 / Holt - Nov 27, 2023
Risk and resource management - Scholarship Essay - Study Plan

2 - Kindly indicate which journal it was published in, the publication date, volume, and series number for the reference...

Scholarshipkokor0 - Nov 17, 2023 / Holt - Nov 27, 2023
GKS Graduate Nursing Science Feb

2 - While I admire your openness in this essay, there is also such a thing as oversharing, which you have...

Scholarshipm1lly3 - Oct 31, 2023 / Holt - Nov 1, 2023
Chevening Essay on Relationship building and shared learning

2 - You hit the notes needed for the networking aspect of the discussion. but you are lacking in the diversity...

Scholarshipardiarmanto - Oct 27, 2023 / Holt - Oct 30, 2023
Battling With A New Environment - Common App application essay

2 - When you say you are battling a new environment, you should first, explain what your original environment was. How...

ScholarshipSanB - Oct 26, 2023 / Holt - Oct 30, 2023
How you meet the key selection criteria for the Scholars Program At University of Edinburgh

2 - You cannot select which portions of the criteria to address in the essay. Those are not optional questions or...

ScholarshipAamxr - Oct 26, 2023 / Holt - Oct 30, 2023
Chevening Essay on Leadership and Influence - Forest Restoration Leadership

2 - Remove the reference to your parents, leading a nomad life, and the community participation that you had during your...

Scholarshipardiarmanto - Oct 24, 2023 / Holt - Oct 26, 2023
Chevening Essay - Leadership and Influence - Lead a collaborative effort and develop the team

2 - This is a networking reference. it does not work well in the context and requirement of this essay....

Scholarshipauzan - Oct 16, 2023 / Holt - Oct 25, 2023
Access to experts - Scholarship Prompt for X University

NEW - Scholarship essay - study and own development PROMPT: Give three examples of how your intended studies at X...

Scholarshipcraig210 - Oct 19, 2023 / — -
Mental health disorders - Commonwealth Master's scholarships, development impact essay part 1

2 - I am not sure if this is a topic slant that can get you a Commonwealth scholarship. While mental...

ScholarshipPiperskm - Oct 15, 2023 / Holt - Oct 15, 2023
Chevening Leadership and Influence Essay - Digital Illustration

2 - Your leadership and influencing references are not strong enough to compete with the more skilled professionals who will be...

ScholarshipTanzeelaWasti - Oct 12, 2023 / Holt - Oct 14, 2023
Is this full of babbling? GKS 2024/ Undergraduate Scholarship - LANGUAGE STUDIES BEFORE AND AFTER

3 - Your essay is quite good. I don't know that why you are writitng the language plan ( whether for...

Scholarshipjennide - Sep 14, 2023 / sushiii - Oct 14, 2023
Driving force to be a leader - leadership and influence chevening essay

NEW - I wish to have feedback regarding my essay. please do comment :) Chevening is looking for individuals who...

Scholarshipsyahrialcahyanto - Oct 13, 2023 / — -
A letter of motivation for DAAD master program scholarship in Neuroscience

NEW - They have asked me to write a letter of motivation outlining the academic, professional and personal motives for completion...

ScholarshipSadiq Mangal - Oct 12, 2023 / — -
Statement of Interest for admission to the Japanese university as a student from Ukraine

NEW - Hello, I wrote something like this at the first time and I really need help. What should I remove...

Scholarshiptoxyyx - Oct 10, 2023 / — -
GKS-U An only child with 4 siblings aspires to become an IT Engineer

NEW - Global Korea Scholarship application essay - Motivations with which you apply for this program - Educational background -...

ScholarshipKirab1222 - Oct 9, 2023 / — -
It starts with a self-awareness - Chevening leadership and influence essay

NEW - Hi all, this is a draft I have prepared for Chevening leadership essay. Wish I could receive some feedbacks...

Scholarshipawispawit30 - Oct 8, 2023 / — -
Commonwealth Development Impact Statement Part 1 - journalism challenges

2 - The impact statement you have chosen to use does not necessarily reflect the sentiments that you have presented as...

ScholarshipSanskriti - Oct 5, 2023 / Holt - Oct 8, 2023
My academic journey - Chevening Leadership and Influence Essay

2 - This is not a leadership and influencing essay in line with the expected information for Chevening. What you wrote...

Scholarshiphabib_baharuddin - Oct 5, 2023 / Holt - Oct 8, 2023
"From Adversity to Aspiration: My Journey of Passion, Determination, and Cultural Bridging" - GKS

2 - You make a convincing case in this essay except for where your passion to study in Korea comes from....

Scholarshipyetung - Sep 27, 2023 / Holt - Oct 8, 2023
Clean water - Chevening Leadership and Influence Essay

2 - The presentation is too selfish in focus. This is all about your leadership skills, but it is also wanting...

Scholarshipantonio1995 - Sep 23, 2023 / Holt - Oct 7, 2023
GKS-U Personal Statement Business Administration; time to complete my university education in Korea

2 - This response is actually more aligned with the Language Study Goals than the requirements for the personal statement. Have...

Scholarshiprosieloet - Sep 22, 2023 / Holt - Oct 7, 2023
MSc program in Physics at The University of Queensland - AAS

2 - You have to revise the whole response. You need to choose at least 2 institutions in Australia to apply...

ScholarshipOUDOM - Sep 20, 2023 / Holt - Oct 7, 2023
Catalyst of Change: Pursuing AI Dreams from Mexico to Korea (GKS scholarship)

NEW - personal statement Hi guys I will apply for the GKS scholarship, via university what do you think of...

ScholarshipByf1nd - Oct 6, 2023 / — -

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