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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Leading a Mojita Stall - U of T Supplemental

2 - Again, please clarify at the very start that this is a school project that you undertook. Stop making your...

UndergraduateMultiTasker - Dec 1, 2025 / Holt - 1 day ago
Overcoming perfectionism - U of T Supplemental Essay

2 - You need to be more specific in your essays. You are always over reaching instead of focusing your statement...

UndergraduateMultiTasker - Dec 1, 2025 / Holt - 1 day ago
RSM BSc / head of Finance - Diversity question

5 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. I've updated my answer accordingly. Could you please review it again and let...

Undergraduatetksyou - Nov 28, 2025 / tksyou - Dec 1, 2025
Ethnicity targeting - U of T Supplemental Application

4 - It would be best for you to write a totally new response that better explains your observations regarding the...

UndergraduateMultiTasker - Nov 29, 2025 / Holt - Nov 30, 2025
RSM BSc - Why International Business Administration?

2 - You cannot use 4th grade exposure to sales within a controlled environment as an influence reference for Business Administrator....

Undergraduatetksyou - Nov 27, 2025 / Holt - Nov 28, 2025
Personal Statement Master MOTIS IN France

2 - The reviewer would much appreciate if you could connect your undergraduate history and work experience with the student qualifications...

UndergraduateMiftaaj01 - Nov 27, 2025 / Holt - Nov 27, 2025
Forensic pathology - essay for NTU mbbs- personal statement

3 - PS:paragraph 2 and 3 of ver1&2 are same,only different are 1st&4th paragraph.I am willing to hear your advices and...

Undergraduatewelton - Nov 20, 2025 / welton - Nov 24, 2025
The lessons we take from obstacles - UofT One idea application

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback, what are some ways I can make this approach more interesting, can I...

UndergraduateAliyaAAAA - Nov 23, 2025 / AliyaAAAA - Nov 23, 2025
Autobiography for Taiwan university application

2 - I would have to say that your autobiography lacks a clear direction that would show the reviewer how your...

UndergraduateAlbert Owen - Nov 21, 2025 / Holt - Nov 21, 2025
My education in Taiwan - Study plan for scholarship in division of global commerce

2 - This will not make sense to the reviewer. If your father is your sponsor, then what was the...

UndergraduateAlbert Owen - Nov 17, 2025 / Holt - Nov 18, 2025
Personal statement for HKUST - Chemical and Biology Engineering program

4 - Could you possibly shorten the essay from 600+ words to something between 250 and 300 words? The essay is...

UndergraduateTreeee - Nov 14, 2025 / Holt - Nov 18, 2025
Common App: Gap Year Essay

2 - I am not sure about the prompt for your gap year essay. Normally, a gap year essay requests the...

Undergraduatetimetoshine - Nov 12, 2025 / Holt - Nov 13, 2025
Fordham essay on contributing to a community

2 - It will be very possible to discuss your advocacy for human dignity and your fight against injustice without referencing...

Undergraduateilovepenguins - Nov 8, 2025 / Holt - Nov 9, 2025
Education as a force of change- UWC application essay

2 - You lost me from the very start of this essay. How does travel relate to ASL? Are you one...

Undergraduatealmosthalloween - Oct 25, 2025 / Holt - Oct 26, 2025
Conflicting personal values - essay for UWC

2 - The reviewer will not see this essay as one that is personal nor original. He will see this as...

Undergraduateplopkw - Oct 23, 2025 / Holt - Oct 24, 2025
"From the linoleum to the marble" - Personal Statement

2 - Kindly include the prompt that you are writing in response to next time so that I can give a...

Undergraduatelolgiancarlo - Oct 22, 2025 / Holt - Oct 23, 2025
GKS U 2026 SOP for Business administration + finance

2 - The essay is too creative in presentation. It focused too much on the telling of a story that it...

UndergraduateShubhay07 - Oct 14, 2025 / Holt - Oct 15, 2025
Nigeria and Economic Constraints - Statements of Purpose (S.O.P)

2 - You should not open the statement of purpose with a reference to the thoughts of someone else. The reviewer...

UndergraduateMystro_Dynamic - Oct 13, 2025 / Holt - Oct 14, 2025
Being Excluded in a project - Waterloo AIF Question #3 - Experience Reflection

2 - The reason why you were sidelined by the group in meetings should be clearly explained in the statement. You...

UndergraduatePancakes2 - Oct 13, 2025 / Holt - Oct 14, 2025
Starting a music club at my school - Waterloo AIF question #2 - Community Involvement

2 - This leadership statement is too self focused. There is a lack of teamwork, consideration of the needs of the...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
My Passion for Music - Waterloo AIF question #1

2 - The passion aspect is a bit thin in this presentation. It started off on the wrong foot as well....

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
Undervalued at a hackathon - Waterloo AIF Question #3 - Experience Reflection

2 - While your story shows how you eventually recovered from being undervalued by your teammates, it took time for you...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
Data analytics - KUAS enrollment essay - Why KUAS ties in with my future goals

2 - The second paragraph does not justify what will make you a good candidate for a student slot at KUAS....

Undergraduateumohon - Oct 11, 2025 / Holt - Oct 11, 2025
The Sound of His Steps - Common App Essay

2 - Please do not ask me which aspects you should cut from this essay because it is a personal decision...

UndergraduateThienAnhLe - Oct 11, 2025 / Holt - Oct 11, 2025
NATIONAL TAIWAN UNIVERSITY AUTOBIOGRAPHY 'Ten fingers will all have different lengths'

2 - A personal statement should, in my opinion, not be more than 300 words in length. That is because the...

Undergraduatesnowblossoms - Oct 7, 2025 / Holt - Oct 8, 2025
Standing Behind, Seeing Beyond (COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT)

2 - One thing that the applicants always make a mistake with when writing the common app essay is that they...

UndergraduateThienAnhLe - Oct 7, 2025 / Holt - Oct 8, 2025
Passion for Game Development - Waterloo AIF Question 4 - Goals for Waterloo

2 - I reviewed your statement response several times and came to the same conclusion each time. The provided information responds...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 6, 2025 / Holt - Oct 7, 2025
GLOCAL PROGRAMME - CREATIVE INDUSTRY POLICY AND ECOSYSTEM

2 - The main problem that I see with this essay is that it does not address your educational background. How...

Undergraduateu_utmaut - Oct 6, 2025 / Holt - Oct 6, 2025
My Relationship with Glasses - Common App Essay

3 - @Holt Thanks for the feedback! Just one question: When you say to totally skip the pre-k reference, do you...

Undergraduatemathauntie - Oct 5, 2025 / mathauntie - Oct 5, 2025
Before humans die - (GKS_U) 2026 Media essay

2 - The essay is too imaginative in approach when it should be more direct and informative. I understand that you...

Undergraduatehinuyenthihue111 - Oct 4, 2025 / Holt - Oct 5, 2025
curly hair main common app essay

2 - I am not sure what common app prompt you are responding to with this essay so I can give...

Undergraduateclaudiacorsini - Oct 3, 2025 / Holt - Oct 4, 2025
PERSONAL ESSAY - STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM (Chemistry Department & Internship Opportunity)

2 - Your background is quite strong in terms of academics. I would like to see the same strengths or, even...

Undergraduaterelovikyl - Sep 9, 2025 / Holt - Sep 13, 2025
COMMON APP Personal Statement - Teachings From My Sister

2 - This is a very interesting and personal background story. However, The reviewer could believe that the essay is more...

UndergraduateScormbl - Aug 29, 2025 / Holt - Aug 30, 2025
PERSONAL STATEMENT GKS-U University Track Mechanical Engineering

2 - Kindly remove the Hangul characters for Phineas and Pherb. The essay must be written in either pure English or...

Undergraduateadel5067 - Aug 26, 2025 / Holt - Aug 27, 2025
PERSONAL STATEMENT - GKS-U TOUR MANAGEMENT

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your feedback on my personal statement. It means a lot. I will...

Undergraduateweeathers - Aug 14, 2025 / weeathers - Aug 15, 2025
GKS-U PERSONAL STATEMENT (astronomy and space science)

2 - It is too early in the discussion for you to introduce this topic. You may state this later...

UndergraduateAndyNJ - Aug 10, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
interspecies - university of chicago extended essay

2 - The first part relating to your grandfather and how he influenced your love of history is irrelevant to the...

Undergraduatearrralle - Aug 4, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
Out-of-the-red - University of Chicago extended essay

2 - The essay seems to be taking several directions and focusing on the wrong person and events. If you want...

Undergraduatearrralle - Aug 4, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
GKS-U Personal Statement for AI Major

2 - Develop this statement further. Include some of the activities that you led and participated in. What was that...

Undergraduatedivine_9 - Jul 19, 2025 / Holt - Jul 20, 2025
"The French Toast" - common app 7- Share an essay on any topic of your choice

2 - The essay needs more balance. You spent too much time discussing French Toast and the negative body image that...

Undergraduaterocky123c - Jul 14, 2025 / Holt - Jul 16, 2025
"Pathological liars" - application essay

2 - The reviewer will be confused by these 2 statements. A liar is different from a jerk. You...

UndergraduateKatiec123 - Jul 8, 2025 / Holt - Jul 9, 2025
My foundation - Language study plan before and after Gkd

5 - It is for a teacher's activity...

UndergraduateFaith y - Jun 12, 2025 / Valentina25 - Jun 14, 2025
Finding Balance: The Real Impact of Studying and Working at the Same Time

2 - This is a very concise presentation of a very popular topic. The insight is real and based on medical...

UndergraduateValentina25 - Jun 12, 2025 / Holt - Jun 13, 2025
'Treatable' - My struggles with OCD and growth - COMMON APP ESSAY

3 - I love your essay! It have that raw emotion and a 'you' element. It tells us about the person...

Undergraduateaalberton - Jun 8, 2025 / Anvita1910 - Jun 10, 2025
Computer engineering - SOP Statement of Purpose essay help

2 - A statement of purpose is the written interview that the university admissions committee members use to determine your fit...

UndergraduateKaizennk - May 27, 2025 / Holt - May 28, 2025
ECE or CE University of Washington Transfer Personal Statement

3 - @Holt This is my essay for ECE college admissions hopefully it addresses some of the weaknesses. Please start...

UndergraduateMissYam - Apr 1, 2025 / MissYam - Apr 4, 2025
personal statement- smart security UIC track

3 - Your composed text is decent, which inspired me to embark in some academic writing! ^^...

UndergraduateAnnabel - Mar 16, 2025 / Nguyendangquang - Mar 29, 2025
Personal Statement for Education and Technology MA University College London (UCL)

2 - Well, you certainly have the academic, professional, and volunteer requirements to be considered for this scholarship. However, these do...

UndergraduateHalidashb - Mar 5, 2025 / Holt - Mar 6, 2025
STATEMENT OF MOTIVATION AND EXPECTED ADMISSIONS METHOD ESSAY(WITHIN 300 WORDS) FOR USTH

3 - @asyozu Your statement needs more personal motivation and specific reasons for choosing USTH's Mechatronics Engineering Technology program (relevant experiences...

Undergraduateasyozu - Feb 23, 2025 / annhien66677 - Mar 1, 2025
Friendship: Is It Really THAT IMPORTANT? - UBC Personal Profile

2 - The essay does not come off as explaining why friendship is important to you. Instead, it reflects that communication...

UndergraduateEleana - Feb 15, 2025 / Holt - Feb 15, 2025
From Acting to Action: How Theater Shaped My Path to Management - UBC Personal Profile

3 - Hi Eleana, your essay seems a little off topic from the prompt. You begin your first paragraph with...

UndergraduateEleana - Feb 1, 2025 / clauana - Feb 11, 2025
My cultural identity - Temple University Personal Statement/ College essay

3 - That was a great essay from my point of view. You got the reviewer to smoothly understand your personal...

Undergraduaterintezar - Feb 8, 2025 / clauana - Feb 9, 2025
I am a 17-year-old girl trying to figure the world out as she goes - common app essay

2 - Are you by any chance writing about a topic of your own creation? That is the only reason I...

Undergraduatethelatecomer - Jan 31, 2025 / Holt - Jan 31, 2025
Epidemiology and politics - Summer science program application Highschool

2 - The response is very technical and professional. You have developed a good summary of the information required within a...

Undergraduateaneetsandhu - Jan 21, 2025 / Holt - Jan 22, 2025
Common App Essay about Life Challenges&Backpacking

2 - Backpacking does not have anything to do with the life challenges you faced. Neither does it provide the actual...

Undergraduatewcherau25 - Jan 9, 2025 / Holt - Jan 10, 2025
Determination and effort - Personal Statement Essay/ GKS-U scholarship

2 - The instructions for writing this essay indicate that you must use either full Hangul or full English for...

UndergraduateGadhalag - Jan 9, 2025 / Holt - Jan 10, 2025
My Family - What is important to you? And why? UBC Application

2 - Your response is unique in the sense that the importance of family to you is based upon a tragedy,...

UndergraduateHunchie - Jan 7, 2025 / Holt - Jan 7, 2025
A model of a city - Waterloo Computer Science Application - Question #3

2 - I guess one of the major questions that the reviewer will ask himself after reading this is, "Why did...

Undergraduatedanyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025 / Holt - Jan 7, 2025
Computer Science - applying for ODYLP: Vietnam

6 - Computer science is not an acedemic subject. It is comprised of several difference acedemic subjects, mainly math and programming....

Undergraduatejohnydong - Jan 1, 2025 / danyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025
volunteering at a summer school - Waterloo AIF - Question #2

3 - You have written a lot of background information, however if anything, this information is being against you, especially that...

Undergraduatexers - Jan 5, 2025 / danyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025

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