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|College essay - how I've dealt with my grandfather alzheimer's
4 - Really enjoyed the introduction, especially the hook! The transition from the intro to you being an artist and designer...
Undergraduateamandablanca002 - Nov 24, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|The people and things that have occurred in my life, to shape me into the person I am today
4 - I suggest you focus on either basketball or art and not both for your second two paragraphs. That way,...
Undergraduateflresmnc - Nov 24, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|Supplement Essay for UVA - What is your quirk?
Undergraduatevtuvawm - Nov 23, 2018 / vtuvawm - Nov 25, 2018
|UC Essay:  Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you
2 - Considering your sentence structure, you need to remember to use a comma after a conjunction such as "shook" to...
UndergraduateLimsanity - Nov 25, 2018 / Holt - Nov 25, 2018
|My story; I moved to the United States from Ghana, a small West African country
4 - Hi Kimberly, I really liked this essay, but I do think that the first paragraph needs something to grab...
Undergraduatekimberlykkw - Nov 14, 2018 / victoria orellan - Nov 25, 2018
|"See the beauty of the tiniest things" - Yale Supplemental Essays
3 - @Holt, thanks for the tips! I'll rewrite this essays now. May I post them here for another answer of...
UndergraduateCabradasbrisa - Nov 23, 2018 / Cabradasbrisa - Nov 24, 2018
|"post undergraduate goals" - Berkeley's HAAS business school application essay
2 - Utsav, this is a simplistic response to the statement. As such, it does not really respond to the question...
Undergraduateukapoor - Nov 23, 2018 / Holt - Nov 24, 2018
|"REHARMONIZATION OF MY LIFE NOTES" Personal Statement For The Common Application
Undergraduatebishop00 - Nov 20, 2018 / Holt - Nov 21, 2018
|My Common App Essay: Personal Statement about what I have been through
2 - Hey, this is a good essay topic, however, the essay does have a lot of awkward sentences and grammar...
Undergraduateqqtheonly - Nov 16, 2018 / sklyn27 - Nov 20, 2018
|Supplement essay for Colgate University - We want to get to know you better
2 - Bishoy, don't use first person pronouns for this essay. Since the description should be coming from your best friend,...
Undergraduatebishop00 - Nov 19, 2018 / Holt - Nov 20, 2018
|Taking advantage of a significant educational opportunity or overcoming an educational barrier
2 - It is confusing to read. The best way to approach this essay is to first discuss what you excel...
Undergraduatepshah35 - Nov 19, 2018 / Holt - Nov 20, 2018
|My childhood seemed very lousy in the moment, I've realized however, it's my greatest blessing
2 - Layipaana, don't forget to run a spellchecker and double check the grammar in your presentation. You've got several typos...
Undergraduatelryahaya13 - Nov 18, 2018 / Holt - Nov 19, 2018
|Common App essay - talking about challenges I've faced throughout my life
5 - The sentence structure errors are nothing that a simple editing check will not fix. In terms of content, I...
UndergraduateVolcore - Nov 4, 2018 / Holt - Nov 19, 2018
|Essay on a place where I grew up. 'Do the things you've got to do to, do the things you want to do'
2 - It is very unfortunate Andrea that this essay is exactly what you hoped it would not be. It is...
Undergraduateandrea4116 - Nov 17, 2018 / Holt - Nov 18, 2018
|What is your greatest skill and how have you developed it over time (UC essay question)
Undergraduateakb - Nov 16, 2018 / Holt - Nov 17, 2018
|It seems that being odd isn't that very odd after all - Uchicago supplement
2 - I'm sure this goes without saying, but, "odd" is repeated too many times. Is there a purpose to the...
UndergraduateHeathen5 - Nov 11, 2018 / Fizzik - Nov 16, 2018
|College personal essay: What does home mean and how it affected me?
2 - Wardo, the essay was really going well in terms of discussing your personal growth and understanding of others before...
UndergraduateWardo Saverin - Nov 15, 2018 / Holt - Nov 16, 2018
|Public speaking - Second opinion on my UC Personal Insight Questions!
2 - Eknoor, you have to change the second paragraph as you have it presented at the moment. In this type...
UndergraduateSolarFlare1230 - Nov 14, 2018 / Holt - Nov 14, 2018
|College Essay - Fashion Institute of Technology Essay for Illustration
2 - Sarah. would you consider flipping the first and last paragraph positions in the essay? I feel like the essay...
UndergraduatesarahArtist12 - Nov 12, 2018 / Holt - Nov 13, 2018
|My Childhood Dream - the essay to convince that I would be an important participant of Global UGRAD
2 - Ahmed, I find that the last 2 paragraphs of your essay can be revised to create a more relevant...
UndergraduateAHMEDosman - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
|UC Question: how you have worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced (Dyslexia)
2 - Amanda, I learned more about how your grandmother helped you overcome you Dyslexia as opposed to learning how you...
Undergraduateakb - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
|UNC Wilmington Application Essay Critique
2 - You have only covered all of the requirements for the choice of University. However you have not complied with...
UndergraduateFizzik - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
|Mastercard foundation - my passion for helping others
2 - I do not believe that this essay reflects a personal value that can be reflected in your being helpful....
Undergraduatedmsc - Nov 9, 2018 / Holt - Nov 10, 2018
|Who I am as a person is like a pot of jollof rice - 'environment' essay
2 - don't try to be unique in this instance because the end result if a very confusing essay that leaves...
Undergraduatebanjoko1 - Nov 8, 2018 / Holt - Nov 9, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile - Who are you? Described as exuberant, interesting, authentic and adventurous
2 - Muhammed, the first and last paragraph of the essay properly represents a third person point of view regarding your...
Undergraduatesalmalik64 - Nov 8, 2018 / Holt - Nov 8, 2018
|The day that reality would hit me.
2 - Wali, rather than using the prompt for shaping you, I believe that this essay will deliver more of an...
UndergraduateWali - Nov 5, 2018 / Holt - Nov 7, 2018
|Describe your academic and career goals in the broad field of engineering
3 - Ayo, this is not an essay that responds to the prompt requirements. You are being asked to discuss your...
Undergraduatebanjoko - Nov 4, 2018 / Holt - Nov 6, 2018
|My career goal is to become a medical scientist and Mayo Clinic College - Summer Research Fellowship
Undergraduatebrayan1996 - Nov 4, 2018 / Ratudestiani - Nov 5, 2018
|Common App Essay about my passion of roller coaster designing
2 - Hello @Blakepefto. I really liked you opening paragraph. It draws the reader into the experience that is being conveyed....
UndergraduateBlakepefto - Nov 1, 2018 / brayan1996 - Nov 4, 2018
|Most significant challenge you have faced (dormitory life) and why MIT course 6-2 appeals to me
Undergraduatebaba1 - Nov 3, 2018 / baba1 - Nov 4, 2018
|THE SWEET IN THE SWEAT - Common app essay prompt 2.
3 - Wankunda, you are not really overcoming an obstacle in this essay. I believe that your work is more suited...
UndergraduateChimba - Nov 2, 2018 / Holt - Nov 3, 2018
|Singapore Military Service Personal Statement
3 - @Holt, thank you so much for the advice. Yes, I completely agree with what you're saying. This background I...
Undergraduatermukerji - Nov 1, 2018 / rmukerji - Nov 3, 2018
|Cornell Arts and Sciences Supp - the ability to combine my interests in biology and research
2 - If this is for early, my feedback might be too late... I think that rather than naming and describing...
Undergraduatebrookedelprete - Oct 31, 2018 / nyangi - Nov 1, 2018
|UVA Supplement - solar powered fridge project for third world countries
2 - For the second paragraph, I think the sentence, "The use of solar energy is especially helpful when considering the...
Undergraduatepacificshawty - Oct 31, 2018 / laurenholes - Nov 1, 2018
|SOCIAL DOGMA OF MATHEMATICS - Common App Essay on Math (Prompt #3)
2 - Nafee, you have chosen a very boring topic to discuss in this essay, Math. Which you know most people...
UndergraduateNafeeJ - Nov 1, 2018 / Holt - Nov 1, 2018
|How tutoring English leads to a pursuit in communications - Supplement
Undergraduatelynnlynn - Oct 31, 2018 / lynnlynn - Nov 1, 2018
|Common App Essay on movie spoilers (Prompt #7)
4 - Kevin, you may want to balance the discussion with a representation of who you were before you decided to...
Undergraduateomnibutt - Oct 30, 2018 / Holt - Oct 31, 2018
|Sloppy Joe Symphony - Common App Draft; something that sparked a period of personal growth
6 - This story reminds me of a personal experience in my past that I have written about. I have written...
UndergraduateSmolBean15 - Oct 29, 2018 / spelkey - Oct 31, 2018
|Fear of asking for help - Common App Essay
5 - Great essay! I think that you can definitely extend your reflection on the first leadership experience and write...
Undergraduatelynnlynn - Oct 12, 2018 / jasmine17 - Oct 31, 2018
|Successful students at Johns Hopkins make the biggest impact by collaborating with others
2 - Hazel, the learning in this essay should not be limited to collaboration. You should also consider the lessons that...
UndergraduateItshazell - Oct 29, 2018 / Holt - Oct 30, 2018
|An Indonesian student in the United States - Common App Essay - 1st Prompt
3 - Hi Hany. This is a very strong essay that responds clearly to the prompt requirements. You have a truly...
Undergraduatejasmine17 - Oct 29, 2018 / Holt - Oct 30, 2018
|Main common app essay -- my job at Starbucks
2 - Your opening sentence is weak Try? Each night, I arrive home from the late shift, exhausted and reeking of...
Undergraduatemirandaam - Oct 28, 2018 / brookedelprete - Oct 30, 2018
|Caltech Supplemental #1 (STEM Experience)
3 - @buzzfeed For this type of essay, you don't need to delve into too deep a detail for the presentation....
Undergraduatebuzzfeed - Oct 28, 2018 / Holt - Oct 29, 2018
|Why Purdue? I enjoy nothing more than computer science - Supplemental #1
3 - The response that you have given is what is called a cookie cutter response. Meaning, every other student will...
Undergraduatenvijai - Oct 28, 2018 / Holt - Oct 29, 2018
|How being stuck in a foreign country affected me - common app essay
2 - This is a good read but what is the prompt of this essay? Anyway, you've been on terrifying situation...
Undergraduatesoysauce99 - Oct 27, 2018 / Legecy - Oct 28, 2018
|My passion for programming and music college computer science essay
2 - Vivialin, why don't you consider changing your introduction from using keyboard keys to computer keys instead? There are software...
Undergraduatevivianlin45 - Oct 27, 2018 / Holt - Oct 28, 2018
|Being a fearless orator is what I am proud of. Self presentation essay
2 - wild fire -----is it necessary? ... earned me the title of being "Ambitious".---Just show. Don't tell. We get...
UndergraduateHetav Pandya - Oct 27, 2018 / lolessay - Oct 27, 2018
|Overcoming Me: "bump in the road" UCF Statement
2 - Hi Sarah, It's a nicely written essay, however I feel like you could add more on how your personal/academic...
UndergraduateRere454 - Oct 26, 2018 / ayunovianti - Oct 27, 2018
|My Favorite word is family! This word includes whoever I enjoy spending time with.
3 - Phani, I wish that you had included the instructions for the writing of this essay along with the response...
Undergraduatephani75 - Oct 25, 2018 / Holt - Oct 26, 2018
|Research world journey - Common app for research universities: Prompt no 5
2 - @lolessay What is the maximum word count for this essay? The reason I ask is that it feels too...
Undergraduatelolessay - Oct 24, 2018 / Holt - Oct 25, 2018
|Growing up as Indian in America - What was the environment in which you were raised?
4 - s nothing like the first type: it is more fast-paced, filled with inflections, and sprinkled with Gujarati words I...
Undergraduatevanshika2001 - Oct 21, 2018 / lolessay - Oct 24, 2018
|"Picture perfect" kid - Common Application Prompt Number Two
3 - Beginning from Transportation part..... to.... working six days of week I think it is better to condense it without...
Undergraduatebrookedelprete - Oct 24, 2018 / lolessay - Oct 24, 2018
|Physical Geology nightmare; FAILURES AND OBSTACLES COMMON APP ESSAY
4 - Anytime that the student uses technical information in an essay, you better hope that a professional in the field...
Undergraduateseeb8 - Oct 22, 2018 / Holt - Oct 24, 2018
|'Playing around in microchip design' - My interest in studying at Michigan - Prompt
4 - Thanks for the info! Thanks for the constructive feedback. I have changed the sentences that you highlighted in order...
Undergraduatepetamat - Oct 22, 2018 / petamat - Oct 23, 2018
|Cooking is science and science is cooking. Common App Essay on Cooking (Prompt 1)
3 - R, I understand that you are applying for admission to the Physics course of this university. That is why...
Undergraduatelinr2 - Oct 23, 2018 / Holt - Oct 23, 2018
|UGRAD SOP - US can broaden up my horizons
2 - Umta, this is a god draft. For the second draft, you will need to omit certain references in this...
Undergraduateumta - Oct 22, 2018 / Holt - Oct 23, 2018
|''Talent is equally distributed but opportunity is not'' - undergraduate program application
2 - You should talk more about specifics- what field you are going in to, what events are you participating in,...
UndergraduateLifechaser - Oct 21, 2018 / seeb8 - Oct 22, 2018
|My Passion for Art - Essay about hobby/experience and how it affected you Upitt
2 - Sasha, I think that you are presenting the essay in reverse. Since you have an interest in Chemistry, then...
Undergraduatesg2468 - Oct 21, 2018 / Holt - Oct 22, 2018
|Essay for Princeton University - why you are interested in studying Engineering?
3 - thanks, I'll look over your essay when I have time sometime this week. How was the actual essay in...
Undergraduatemkim4 - Oct 21, 2018 / mkim4 - Oct 22, 2018
|"What are you going to be?" My identity essay for college
UndergraduateLeHoangVu2001 - Oct 21, 2018 / sg2468 - Oct 21, 2018
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