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|Sustainable management - self introduction, job application
3 - Kim, this is not a very effective job application letter. As a self introduction, it does not help me...
Undergraduatemin0502k - Feb 18, 2019 / Holt - Feb 19, 2019
|A circumstance that challenged me was social anxiety. Supplementary essay for Queens Commerce
3 - Mathew, your opening paragraph sounds so amateur because you are simply paraphrasing the prompt question as an opening sentence....
UndergraduateQueens applicant - Feb 14, 2019 / Holt - Feb 15, 2019
|How much my global perspective may be influenced by being a part of Semester at Sea community?
Undergraduatetaylorl - Feb 14, 2019 / Holt - Feb 15, 2019
|Academic history, your major and/or career goals, cultural understanding - UofWa Personal Statement
2 - Jasmine, you need to better outline the discussion for your essay. It feels like you are jumping around between...
Undergraduatevirdianty - Feb 13, 2019 / Holt - Feb 14, 2019
|QUEENS COMMERCE SUPPLEMENTARY ESSAY - Pick a job and describe impact/greatest learning outcome
2 - Abeyan, you have successfully provided an insightful response statement to the given discussion instructions. I find that you have...
Undergraduateabeyan - Feb 11, 2019 / Holt - Feb 12, 2019
|University of Richmond Transfer Essay - Prompt 3 (time travel)
UndergraduateBryanYack - Feb 11, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|Transfer Statement of Purpose to Texas A&M For Computer Engineering
2 - Ian, since this is a transfer statement of purpose, the focus should be less on the irrelevant internship and...
UndergraduateEpicArcher - Feb 10, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|University of Waterloo AIF Reasons for choosing program and Waterloo (Software Engineering and CS)
2 - Zain, unfortunately, your response statement is not acceptable in terms of referencing why you chose to study Software Engineering...
Undergraduatezainzulfiqar - Feb 10, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|Short Admissions Essay-Different Point of view Teacher
2 - Anijah, the background of the event needs to be made clearer to the reviewer. Why was it important to...
Undergraduateannie_1223 - Feb 1, 2019 / Holt - Feb 2, 2019
|Moving from Venezuela to USA - ADMISSION ESSAY
2 - Daniela, since you did not provide the common app prompt that you are responding with this essay, I will...
Undergraduatedclugom1998 - Feb 1, 2019 / Holt - Feb 2, 2019
|U-Mich Transfer Supplement: Majoring in Computer Science. Topic: Describe the unique qualities......
2 - Akshay, straightforward is always the best to go when writing an application essay. It saves the reviewer the bother...
Undergraduatetransfer_app123 - Jan 30, 2019 / Holt - Jan 31, 2019
|UPenn Essay: what got me in?
4 - Hello Momina! Firstly Congrats on your admission! So what elite institutions like the Ivies look for are...
Undergraduatemominanaveed - Jan 29, 2019 / ZoldyckUSA - Jan 30, 2019
|My current goal is to study in the engineering field at Waterloo - they have great co-op programs
2 - AP, your first paragraph contains an acceptable response. The second paragraph though does not come across as specific enough...
Undergraduateap22 - Jan 30, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Semester at Sea will allow me to complete my Psychology requirements and to broaden my horizons
2 - KP, your answer is so far off target that this statement could very well get your application rejected. To...
Undergraduatetiger923 - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|University of Michigan supplement - My role in the army
5 - Yes. If you are still actively serving in the military, then use the present tense for your presentation. Include...
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Lebanon summer - university interview - working in a team
2 - KArim, the answer you are providing is inappropriate for the prompt. The essay question is designed to find out...
Undergraduatekrkr12 - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Medicine Personal Statement UG Draft1
2 - Pradipta, the idea behind the personal statement is to help establish the foundation and development of your interest in...
UndergraduateZoldyckUSA - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Cybersecurity - University of Waterloo AIF Reasons for choosing program and Waterloo (CS and CFM)
2 - Ying, you are not being asked for your personal reasons for choosing the course so you should remove that...
UndergraduateFiona1234 - Jan 28, 2019 / Holt - Jan 29, 2019
|UBC Undergraduate Application - Who You Are: "Daredevil"
UndergraduateCraftinPark - Jan 15, 2019 / Hawaiiiiii - Jan 28, 2019
|Irish school of math - Summer Science Program (short answer)
2 - Richard, you have provided a general response to the question. What you have to present is an actual scientific...
UndergraduateRichardBI - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|The opportunity to propose and implement your own project using your skills, knowledge, and passion
2 - Ayoub, you are over reaching with this essay. The requirement is for you to present only one project. A...
Undergraduateoussama201254 - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Early Christmas - University of Illinois Urbana Champaign Application Essay
3 - Reuben, you successfully present your relevant skills and academic interest in the essay but you do not successfully explain...
UndergraduateReubenlam - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Appealing aspects of Jacobs University's academic program
2 - Saidbek, The 2 paragraphs that you write which is supposed to explain the appealing reasons for choosing Jacob's sounds...
Undergraduatesqodirjanov - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Math and computers - Waterloo University AIF help
4 - Jimmy, the essay lacks a focus on the academic goals that led to your choice of university. There are...
UndergraduateDzh12345 - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|A new fashion industry that I will be a part of creating-FIT application essay
Undergraduatemel_mejia84 - Jan 24, 2019 / Kumka - Jan 26, 2019
|University of Waterloo - what draw my attention there?
3 - You properly address the educational goals and interest in the chosen program. However, your reasons for choosing Waterloo are...
Undergraduateericsaurus - Jan 21, 2019 / Holt - Jan 22, 2019
|From the Booth - RYERSON UNDERGRAD ADMISSION ESSAY
3 - Ryan, for starters don't use the words of Rupert Murdoch to speak for you. Instead, refer the reviewer to...
Undergraduateryanocon44 - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|le Chiffre indéchiffrable / Puzzles - common app personal essay
2 - I think you have made a good story representing your passion in solving puzzles. I enjoy reading it because...
Undergraduateislam123 - Jan 12, 2019 / vania - Jan 21, 2019
|An essay in which you imagine that you are in a position of leadership in your country/community
Undergraduatealexhaddad - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|SCAD MFA Statement of Purpose: The next step to becoming a more competent interactive designer
2 - Mayuri. the problem with the essay is that you are over discussing every paragraph. Rather than shortening the presentation...
Undergraduatemayuri_s_97 - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|"How living in diverse cultures shaped my personality" - UBC Personal Profile Essay
Undergraduateitsavi2208 - Jan 12, 2019 / Mariakono - Jan 16, 2019
|A New Light (Ringling College of Art and Design Application Essay)
4 - Jean, when the students who hire me as a consultant for their essays in private ask me how to...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|Statement of Intent (Loyola Marymount University Application, Fall 2019)
4 - Jean, Loyola being a Catholic university, requires you to slant your response statement in a religious manner. Think about...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|Driven / Debate Club - UBC Personal Profile - who you are
3 - Mathias, you already established that your parents collectively view you are a committed, honest, and strong-willed young man. There...
UndergraduateMrYoda2000 - Jan 14, 2019 / Holt - Jan 15, 2019
|Potential to be a leader- CASE WESTERN PROMPT
4 - I am sorry for the above message, it happened accidentally. This was the first time when I: It...
Undergraduateblackpool - Jan 8, 2019 / StevenSameh1512 - Jan 14, 2019
|'METAPHOR THAT DEFINES ME' - UBC PERSONAL PROFILE ESSAY
4 - You focused on giving something about yourself and didn't give the same attention to the parents or friends opinion....
UndergraduateAnish_k - Jan 13, 2019 / StevenSameh1512 - Jan 14, 2019
|An 'Insufferable Know-It-All' - Who You Are - UBC Uni Writing Prompt 2019
3 - Change the whole essay. You are supposed to represent yourself from the point of view of up to 3...
Undergraduatekarakimmie - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
|Life Challenge Supplemental Essay for UCLA
2 - Nope. This essay isn't going to work for one main reason, the body of paragraph that shows you disrespecting...
Undergraduatercalv25 - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
|"Dynamic word" - My application prompt for UBC: Tell us about who you are.
5 - Going and interviewing your family members, friends, teachers, co-workers, and employers will give you everything you need to properly...
Undergraduatedroll555 - Jan 3, 2019 / charleto9 - Jan 12, 2019
|Academic and Practial World - University of Waterloo. AIF. Reason for choosing to study CE program
4 - You could write more about what your intended program in Waterloo offers in particular that makes it different from...
UndergraduateNine_99 - Jan 11, 2019 / Jean145 - Jan 12, 2019
|Chasing Dreams (Loyola Marymount University Admissions Fall 2019, Writing Prompt #2)
2 - Jean, I get a sense that the word definitions are being used in this essay to meet the maximum...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 11, 2019 / Holt - Jan 12, 2019
|Colgate University Supplement - three words your friend uses, which tells a lot about you
2 - Ria, considering the maximum word or character count for this prompt, is there any way that you can use...
UndergraduateRIA123 - Jan 11, 2019 / Holt - Jan 12, 2019
|Traveling and exploring the world - UBC University Undergraduate Prompt Response #1
2 - Dan, you need to represent 3 different people in this discussion based on the prompt requirements. These people are...
Undergraduatenot_from_denmark - Jan 9, 2019 / Holt - Jan 10, 2019
|My cousin - write a paragraph about your idol's trait
2 - Giang, advise is different from advice. The action is spelled as "advise" , while advice means a suggestion for...
Undergraduatezangangle - Jan 9, 2019 / Holt - Jan 10, 2019
|Tenacity, humility, and responsibility - Colgate - three words describe you.
2 - Steven, you are putting words into your friend's mouth. Do not speak for your friend. Allow your friend to...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Jan 8, 2019 / Holt - Jan 9, 2019
|Impact of people on social media
3 - Sunny, the topic for the essay has come too late in the presentation. You have spent too much time...
Undergraduateelegantbug - Jan 8, 2019 / Holt - Jan 9, 2019
|Veganism Journey - Common Application
Undergraduatenarrowingenuity - Jan 8, 2019 / rsrag - Jan 8, 2019
|"What Political Party are You?" -Georgetown question too open-ended and common app doesn't fit
2 - Wow! I have never read such a sincere, heartfelt, and educational personal essay such as this ever at this...
Undergraduatersrag - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|University of Waterloo-AIF-Response for choosing to study CS or CE programs.
2 - Nahin, since you are not being asked about who influenced your desire to enter the field of CS or...
UndergraduateNahin_007 - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|Essay for Common App: Technology-What I think
3 - Aleena, this sounds like an IELTS Task 2 essay prompt response rather than an open topic essay. The open...
UndergraduateNo one - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|Hockey - Personal Profile Essay- University Application
NEW - I am working on completing a college application, but I am not very good at writing about myself. Any...
Undergraduatetyragage - Jan 8, 2019 / — -
|UBC Personal Profile questions. Who are you? A persistent and meticulous person.
2 - Harry, this essay will have a stronger opening if you immediately start with "My parents often refer to me...
UndergraduateHarrrrrrry - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Graphic Design as an extracurricular activity - ALA essay.
2 - You have not understood the prompt requirement. The essay is not asking you for several activities nor a competition...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Why USC? Supplement - Environmental Science Major/ Economics Minor
2 - Jordan, the way that you will pursue your academic interests at USC should help to establish the platform for...
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Literature and Foreign Languages - Autobiography to apply to university
2 - Brenna, while the term that you chose to describe yourself is impressive because it is not an English word,...
Undergraduatehainhi17 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Career in law - Help with UPenn Supplemental Essay
2 - Taylor, I do not believe that your response fits the prompt requirements because you are looking back on how...
UndergraduateTaybae52 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|I believe that some of the greatest successes stem from the act of persistence. UBC Personal Profile
3 - Imran, the quote from Michelle Obama is nothing more than an unnecessary word filler. The reviewer would rather hear...
Undergraduateiahamed - Jan 5, 2019 / Holt - Jan 6, 2019
|Film-making interest - USC Supplement
5 - In that case, I don't think that your last sentence in the essay should be included in this presentation....
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 5, 2019 / Holt - Jan 6, 2019
|My limitations. Motivation Essay for FLTA Program
2 - Rafael, the FLTA is a scholarship that hopes to promote both an educational and cultural exchange among its foreign...
Undergraduatenaly92 - Jan 4, 2019 / Holt - Jan 5, 2019
|What do you hope to reach by participating in the Summer Institutes? The main reasons for attending
2 - Cezar, the first 2 paragraphs of this essay are only repetitions of the same intention, described in 3 different...
Undergraduatecezar_matreniuc - Jan 4, 2019 / Holt - Jan 5, 2019
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