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|My volunteer work, activities within the community, and a career in the medical field
NEW - A medicine-based career Sophie Davis Prompt #1 Throughout my high school years, I had participated in a number...
UndergraduateEthankazak - Dec 30, 2018 / — -
|Views and Truths - Common app essay #5 "Discuss an accomplishment, event, ..."
3 - Han, you better scrap the essay. Reading this from the point of view of a reviewer, I found that...
Undergraduateswimmingandlost - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 30, 2018
|Common App Essay - "Accepting Your Mother's Facebook Friend Request"
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 30, 2018
|The International Business Exchange - NYU supplement advice (Stern)
2 - I feel like you should put more focus in the first paragraph, and perhaps combine the last two paragraphs...
Undergraduatejessicashen2001 - Dec 28, 2018 / anna123 - Dec 30, 2018
|"What I Want to Say" - Common App Essay
2 - Michelle, I was confused in the beginning because I couldn't comprehend the setting/background. Maybe clarify that a bit instead...
UndergraduateMichelleC19 - Dec 28, 2018 / anna123 - Dec 30, 2018
|My predisposition to help others - applying for the GLOBAL UGRAD PROGRAM of the EEUU government
UndergraduateRociomaria - Dec 29, 2018 / Rociomaria - Dec 29, 2018
|"What my Mom taught Me"- Common App Essay - a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure
Undergraduatevrathore2001 - Dec 28, 2018 / vrathore2001 - Dec 29, 2018
|Stanford Supp: Tetris' impact on my life. Dealing with adversity.
2 - Wow! What can I say? This is one of the more interesting responses to this prompt that I have...
Undergraduateglitterboye - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 29, 2018
|Meaningful activities (150) - three versions for this short essay to choose from
3 - Anna, there are 2 activities that I believe you can choose from. I believe that for an extra curricular...
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 29, 2018
|Let's take it easy. Despacitus — U-chicago extended essay
3 - Anna, the essay should focus on Despacitus first and foremost. Edit the essay to bring up paragraphs that refer...
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 29, 2018
|GEORGIA TECH World-Class resources, professors, and peers have attributed to my computing experience
Undergraduateprismatiiic - Dec 27, 2018 / prismatiiic - Dec 28, 2018
|What is your role in your immediate family - GT Supplemental Essay
5 - Thank you for the suggestions, I've rewritten my essay and would like to know if it's fine now. ...
Undergraduateprismatiiic - Dec 27, 2018 / prismatiiic - Dec 28, 2018
|With which historical persona would you like to converse, and on which topic?
2 - Kathleen, revise this essay to suit the prompt. Pick one person and write a reasonably long essay to represent...
UndergraduateKatD1212 - Dec 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 28, 2018
|"Understanding the heart of another"- Dartmouth college supplement
3 - Hi, I think you decided you base your essay off an interesting topic. It's unique, and I like that....
UndergraduateAgirlhasnoname - Dec 17, 2018 / anna123 - Dec 28, 2018
|Highly ranked programs - Why Syracuse Essay (250 max)
4 - I also agree that your statements are mostly generic; many colleges offer study abroad opportunities, "dedication to students through...
Undergraduatepetrij7 - Dec 27, 2018 / anna123 - Dec 28, 2018
|"Grandpa's cuisine" - without cooking, I would be incomplete. Common app essay
4 - The part about your grandfather dominates the essay. The essay you wrote is 75% about him and only 25%...
Undergraduateasksenpai - Dec 27, 2018 / Holt - Dec 28, 2018
|I've done nothing but read for the past two summers. - Princeton Supplemental
4 - Rodney, while the reference to manga is impressive in the sense that you show how you are a voracious...
Undergraduateprismatiiic - Dec 27, 2018 / Holt - Dec 28, 2018
|My passion is gaming - supplementary essay about extracurricular activity
4 - William, always make sure that your essay contains a positive tone and never deviates from the image that you...
Undergraduatewillie3838 - Dec 27, 2018 / Holt - Dec 28, 2018
|I see myself at Dartmouth -Dartmouth supplement (100)
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 27, 2018 / KatD1212 - Dec 28, 2018
|GIVING THE NECESSARY SERVICE TO MY OWN PLANET IS MY UNIVERSAL GOAL
3 - Supantha, you have explained the role that you played in the club, but you have not discussed what you...
UndergraduateSupantha - Dec 24, 2018 / Holt - Dec 27, 2018
|The longer you stay in university, the dumber you get — Dartmouth extended essay
2 - Anna, don't kick off your essay with a quote from the Japanese philosopher. The prompt already gives you a...
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 27, 2018 / Holt - Dec 27, 2018
|Rigorous academia and study - What factors influenced your decision to apply to Barnard College?
3 - I do not agree that you should scrap the reference to Dr. Paula Tyler in the essay because you...
UndergraduateKatD1212 - Dec 27, 2018 / Holt - Dec 27, 2018
|How my name inspired me to create my own identity - Common App Essay
5 - Your suggested changes seem to be fine once reviewed on its own. Whether it works or not with the...
Undergraduatehellstein - Dec 24, 2018 / Holt - Dec 27, 2018
|I began to serve in the Hope House - UBC 'activities' essay
3 - Paul, you should revise the essay to include the name of the person who will be interviewed at Hope...
UndergraduateKookie47 - Dec 26, 2018 / Holt - Dec 27, 2018
|'Topology sequence' - Ut Austin Undergraduate Transfer Essay A: Statement of Purpose
2 - Jordan, your story of dropout to mathematician is interesting and fun to read. However, aside from becoming a grad...
UndergraduateFriendlyschizo - Dec 25, 2018 / Holt - Dec 26, 2018
|Justice for the Silenced Ryerson Undergraduate Journalism Entrance Essay
Undergraduatesamreenmaqsood - Dec 25, 2018 / Holt - Dec 26, 2018
|What do you want the readers of your application to know about you?
Undergraduategwenvine - Dec 25, 2018 / Holt - Dec 26, 2018
|Adaptation and switching schools - Tell us about circumstance that has challenged you
2 - Angela, the essay you present is a bit boring to read. It is one dimensional and does not indicate...
Undergraduateangelazhao25 - Dec 24, 2018 / Holt - Dec 26, 2018
|Rice University Perspective Essay: Cultural awareness and taking initiative
2 - @hillknee713 The true time when a student has to deal with unique life experiences and its consequences, lack thereof,...
Undergraduatehillknee713 - Dec 24, 2018 / Holt - Dec 26, 2018
|Georgia Tech. To be an architect that will leave a mark inspiring the current and future generations
UndergraduateEdSharon - Dec 19, 2018 / EdSharon - Dec 26, 2018
|Desiring to be an explorer. Application letter for Global UGRAD exchange program
3 - I suggest you remove your 1st paragraph Do not write about your university and major and minor you will...
Undergraduatenusrat8662 - Dec 18, 2018 / Kumka - Dec 24, 2018
|I have learned to adapt, learned to be patient and put the hard work - Common app essay
4 - Nischal, I believe that you have not chosen the correct prompt for your essay. The discussion in the essay...
Undergraduatenischalmainali21 - Dec 23, 2018 / Holt - Dec 24, 2018
|What is important to me? PROTECTING OUR NATURE AND ENSURING ANIMAL WELFARE
6 - Without knowing what the actual prompt requirements are for the personal profile, it will be difficult for me to...
UndergraduateSupantha - Dec 8, 2018 / Holt - Dec 24, 2018
|Addressing with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago?
3 - Your essay borders on the arrogant and snobbish in this particular line: I don't want to go to a...
UndergraduateCollegecrab - Dec 23, 2018 / Holt - Dec 24, 2018
|Criticism welcomed. Application essay
2 - Mranda, your essay lacks a sense of familiarity with the facilities, social activities, student community, and surrounding environment. You...
UndergraduateMLPridemore - Dec 23, 2018 / Holt - Dec 24, 2018
|Tutoring program - Extra curricular activities essay
2 - Sharon, your tutoring essay is a good example of an extra curricular activity, which is not a work experience....
UndergraduateAgirlhasnoname - Dec 23, 2018 / Holt - Dec 24, 2018
|UBC PERSONAL PROFILE - traits that make me who I am and the love I have for helping others.
4 - @ValC Even though the prompt is about describe who you are i kinda feel like that you should also...
UndergraduateValC - Dec 21, 2018 / Supantha - Dec 24, 2018
|Why UChicago Essay 2018: Is it Ready? Like a home.
3 - Alright, thank you much for the suggestion. I've revised the essay to be around 550 words now, yet...
Undergraduatejungkook666 - Dec 14, 2018 / jungkook666 - Dec 24, 2018
|Common app essay; Science changes the lives of millions around the world
2 - The essay is very captivating although the ending seems rather rushed. I didn't notice any grammatical errors however. It's...
UndergraduateSubhan_Rana - Dec 23, 2018 / jamilaaa - Dec 23, 2018
|The harder is the way to a success, the more efficacious it is and the happier we feel; college app.
Undergraduatesonechko - Dec 22, 2018 / sonechko - Dec 23, 2018
|My inquisitive personality and passion for building fits ideally in Purdue
Undergraduateferaas - Dec 22, 2018 / feraas - Dec 23, 2018
|MIT Greatest Challenge Essay: Developing a passion for math
2 - Amil, this is a representation of an interesting activity that you participated in, but provided you with a rude...
Undergraduateavdravid123 - Dec 22, 2018 / Holt - Dec 23, 2018
|Personal Statement - Common Application - Gynecomastia Disease
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Nov 28, 2018 / Holt - Dec 23, 2018
|What you learned from working with others? JHU Supplement
3 - Anupam, you are starting the story from the middle. Give the reviewer a background of the activity first. What...
Undergraduateuchiaelodin - Dec 22, 2018 / Holt - Dec 23, 2018
|Global Ugrad - Making the difference in the education of students
UndergraduateNossferatu - Dec 18, 2018 / Subhan_Rana - Dec 22, 2018
|"Life's short, don't waste it" - Yale writing supplement
4 - Thanks for your advice. I was actually expecting this kind of answer. Is there any possibility I can contact...
Undergraduatequeffect - Dec 21, 2018 / queffect - Dec 22, 2018
|Body issues - What passion or inspiration led you to choose this study area? CMU SUPP ESSAY
3 - Hannah, the reference to your 3-year-old-self is an exaggeration that the reviewer will not appreciate. If you were that...
Undergraduatech15hann - Dec 21, 2018 / Holt - Dec 22, 2018
|AIF of Waterloo university - Computer Science or Actuarial Science
4 - Your first sentence is not an educational goal it is a statement of interest in one of two majors....
Undergraduatewuyulon1 - Dec 20, 2018 / Holt - Dec 22, 2018
|Essay for Cairo college —AIO smart sleeve.
4 - Your chosen item for the response does not have a personal effect on your life. It does not have...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Dec 21, 2018 / Holt - Dec 22, 2018
|Learning our Spherical Planet Floats on Nothingness: YALE SUPPLEMENT
3 - Thank you soo much. I didn't include much of Why Yale because Yale's application has an entirely seperate essay...
Undergraduatekartikt - Dec 19, 2018 / kartikt - Dec 22, 2018
|Why Columbia; I am extremely enthralled by what Columbia's curriculum has to offer
3 - This is essay is quite in rush. To clarify my point, You talked about women society and then about...
Undergraduatejamilaaa - Dec 20, 2018 / StevenSameh1512 - Dec 21, 2018
|Northwestern supplementary essay - (night life , research, club)
3 - AOB, the total essay is actually very well thought out, all the way to the end where you discuss...
Undergraduateaburmne2 - Dec 20, 2018 / Holt - Dec 21, 2018
|What book or piece of literature you believe is important for the entire Colgate Class to read? Why?
3 - Anupam, if you reverse the presentation of the paragraphs, you will be able to reduce the word count without...
Undergraduateuchiaelodin - Dec 19, 2018 / Holt - Dec 21, 2018
|Com Apps essay - the story of great Hustler, Ignazio Wexler
2 - Kim, this is an interesting piece of creative writing. However, as an open topic essay, it does not make...
Undergraduatekimyoungjin123 - Dec 19, 2018 / Holt - Dec 21, 2018
|COMMON APP SHORT ESSAY EXPERIENCE AS A PREFECT
2 - Nice one...but I think you should still write more on the challenges you faced... Of course that is part...
Undergraduateoshkoshmadam - Dec 19, 2018 / Animity - Dec 19, 2018
|AUB essay - invention that has a great impact on my life - common app
3 - Steven, the response you are giving is highly generic. It is the standard go to response that every student...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Dec 18, 2018 / Holt - Dec 19, 2018
|Fashion School Admission Essay for FIDM; expectations, hobbies, interests, goals and aspiration
2 - Nai, the essay feels like it spins its wheels without going anywhere for the first few paragraphs. The direct...
Undergraduateleothewriter - Dec 18, 2018 / Holt - Dec 19, 2018
|Global UGRAD program - a different culture experience, interchanging ideas, products, and influence
4 - @Holt @Dannyalc92 Thank you so much for your feedback. I'll write a new essay soon and update the...
Undergraduatezimmer - Dec 16, 2018 / zimmer - Dec 18, 2018
|My drive to always learn something new and be the best version of myself that I can be; UBC essay
2 - Jason, the essay isn't cocky at all. It sounds like it was written by a level headed person who...
Undergraduateecho16 - Dec 17, 2018 / Holt - Dec 18, 2018
|FIT portfolio essay evaluating how I take criticism
3 - Woah you're definitely right! I was just trying super hard to sum everything up because the word limit was...
UndergraduateLazydazey - Dec 17, 2018 / Lazydazey - Dec 18, 2018
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