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|UBC Personal Profile: Describe an unfamiliar situation & what you have learned dealing with it?
2 - @watashiwano this essay is alright in terms of the topic you chose for the discussion. However, the fact that...
Undergraduatewatashiwano - Jan 4, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: essay about racial discrimination, language barrier and disparity
2 - @watashiwano Here is the thing, you chose the most unbelievable age to use as your age of enlightenment. The...
Undergraduatewatashiwano - Jan 4, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|Essay for Princeton University, Engineering college
UndergraduateGabchacho - Jan 1, 2018 / watashiwano - Jan 4, 2018
|Reasons for Carnegie Mellon school pick
Undergraduateethanfine - Jan 3, 2018 / Holt - Jan 4, 2018
|NUS personal statement about my experience joining Physics Olympiad
4 - Hello! I think you wrote a very good essay, and your theme addresses the prompt. However, you didn't correlate...
Undergraduatejohanessuhardjo - Dec 24, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Jan 3, 2018
|Showing I'm capable for Johns Hopkins
2 - Sameen, the usual reason that the applicants overshoot the word requirement is because they always try to go for...
Undergraduatesmahm200 - Jan 3, 2018 / Holt - Jan 3, 2018
|Short essays for an application. (Personal Statement)
2 - Hi Kosuke, Since the question asks for what you learned about yourself as a leader and team member,...
UndergraduateTryharder - Jan 2, 2018 / SWMaster - Jan 2, 2018
|"Run!" "Get up!" Mandatory practices with my dad. Apply Texas Essay B
Undergraduateadamalonzo123 - Jan 2, 2018 / adamalonzo123 - Jan 2, 2018
|UBC Application - surrounded by unfamiliar things
2 - BG, this is a pretty straightforward response to the prompt that was provided. It delivers on all the required...
UndergraduateGoforit - Jan 2, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2018
|What is important to you? Happiness
4 - Robinson, you may want to rethink the first part of this essay. The relevance of your father as the...
UndergraduatePea - Jan 2, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2018
|Why Swarthmore? Swarthmore's commitment to collaboration and community service is amazing
4 - Nice essay and I think you show the admissions officers that you did your research and know their university...
Undergraduatewintergirl898 - Jan 1, 2018 / SWMaster - Jan 2, 2018
|"My Passion for Environmental Protection" - Why NYU Essay
4 - "The global exposure at NYU will helps me Str excel ..." NYU hasn't done this just yet! Besides the...
Undergraduateericattang - Dec 28, 2017 / wintergirl898 - Jan 2, 2018
|Leadership style for Global UGRAD can be applied in different programs
5 - hello Arie, thanks for your comments, sorry I could not give my comment or even read your essay because...
Undergraduateforpis44 - Dec 28, 2017 / forpis44 - Jan 2, 2018
|A story about my experience with the Meisner Technique/NYU Film Essay
4 - @Holt thanks for the feedback! I had difficulty writing the beginning and went back and forth between a lot...
Undergraduateasuzor - Jan 1, 2018 / asuzor - Jan 1, 2018
|Personal Statement: prospective Asian Studies major
2 - Cindy would you by any chance have the full prompt for your personal statement? I'd love to read about...
Undergraduatemimi4488toea - Jan 1, 2018 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|America - my dream can be reachable. UGRAD ESSAY, why would you be a great participant
3 - My name is Ibesti Agenum Raningrum and right now I am studying at English Study Program in University of...
Undergraduatesunscent - Dec 31, 2017 / getlazy - Jan 1, 2018
|Why I want to study In ** College? (Scholarship) - there are four reasons
Undergraduateradszx - Dec 31, 2017 / radszx - Jan 1, 2018
|Women empowerment what why and how
3 - Maryam, all you provided in this essay was an extensive background in relation to this interest. However, not all...
UndergraduateMariamBakr2001 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|Why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s)?
2 - Min, This essay is good. It represents the prompt requirements on a personal level. However, it is not proper...
Undergraduatejacky9852 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|What aspects of Northwestern appeal most to you? My Why Northwestern? essay sounds so generic
5 - @WileECoyote @Manal99 Thank you for your comments. Because the quarter system is one of the biggest reasons for me,...
Undergraduatelsa990105 - Dec 31, 2017 / lsa990105 - Dec 31, 2017
|What was the environment in which you were raised? APPLY TEXAS ESSAY A
Undergraduateadamalonzo123 - Dec 31, 2017 / adamalonzo123 - Dec 31, 2017
|'I live in a quiet place in Brussels suburbs'; MIT Essay - Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatetrodjo - Dec 31, 2017 / trodjo - Dec 31, 2017
|I inspire members to do more, learn more, dream more, also become more, in this, I am a leader.
Undergraduatepaddybear97 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|A sister's lesson - Common App Essay
3 - Jade, you turned the essay into the story of Malia with you as an observer and narrator. You have...
Undergraduatejspallina18 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|Any edits or suggestions for my Why Cornell essay? Leveraging my technological problem-solving
3 - Aviva, I don't get a sense of how you will actually leverage a Cornell Engineering education from this essay....
Undergraduateakern00 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|BROWN Supplements (why brown, why area of study you indicated before, how community shaped you)
4 - Manal, in the first prompt, you delivered a good response but you left a sentence incomplete at the end...
UndergraduateManal99 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|"The Testing of the Sword" -Common App Essay on Showers
2 - I liked your theme of challenging yourself with cold water. However, for me, the second paragraph made a stronger...
Undergraduatespockmaster3000 - Dec 31, 2017 / Paulatinamenteg - Dec 31, 2017
|What aspect inspired the most and when did you hear about Vassar?
3 - Sarah, the motivation part is not clear. Simply attending these activities at the university grounds because you live close...
Undergraduatesg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Camp Counselor: Princeton Summers Supplement
Undergraduatesg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Cornell College of Arts & Sciences Supplement: biology + computer science + why Arts & Sciences
3 - Wenbo, Before you can discuss your passion for Biology, you must first discuss how your passion for science developed....
UndergraduateUltimaWeapon - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|DANCE: Princeton Extracurricular Activity
4 - There should be more about dancing as a company and dancing in general, remove working/teaching. At Princeton, I hope...
Undergraduatespg070600 - Dec 30, 2017 / sg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017
|COLLOQUIAL: What is your favorite word and why? UVa (300 words)
2 - Sarah, you became too focused on explaining the meaning of the word and its application various contexts rather than...
Undergraduatespg070600 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Why do you choose Boston University - BU prompt; strong connection and bond with this school
2 - Marta, you have written a lot of generic information in this response that does not tell the reviewer that...
Undergraduatezabka10 - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|Tell us what influenced you to select your major - Emerson College
3 - Ellie, you can safely remove the parts of this essay that refer to the reason that you chose to...
Undergraduateelliemarie - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|Write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why - Emerson Essay
4 - @Holt Thank you so much for your advice! How would you recommend that I go about fixing this? Should...
Undergraduateelliemarie - Dec 29, 2017 / elliemarie - Dec 29, 2017
|Purdue supplement essay - how I plan to take advantage of Purdue's opportunities & programs
3 - Sebastian you don't have to tell the reviewer that you have been interested in aviation since you were little....
Undergraduatesebastianalves - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|UBC Application...Overcoming homelessness - what it taught me?
2 - N, you were a minor in the shelter system? This is an interesting response to the prompt. The only...
Undergraduatensaeed039 - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|DISCOVERING NEW PATHS. CURIOSITY MAKES ME A GREAT PARTICIPANT
4 - Phong, the UGrad candidate essay needs to be balanced between your personal interest in the program and your ability...
Undergraduatepaddybear97 - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|An exceptionally mathematically able student who is applying University of Waterloo
2 - Brittany, in the first section, you should not waste the space repeating information that can be seen in the...
Undergraduatelhbiubiubiu - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|"Why Cornell" Essay - Cosmology and Quantum Theory
UndergraduateIsabellaalmeida - Dec 11, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Dec 28, 2017
|Fashion design has always intrigued me. Application essay.
3 - "Probably but in the end, I feel money is not the principal thing." I suggest that you change this...
Undergraduatefeyisope52 - Dec 28, 2017 / ericattang - Dec 28, 2017
|Coalition main essay "To be free is what I've always wanted."
2 - Kailin, I don't think that you should be relating this essay to freedom because the topic and its supporting...
Undergraduatekelly0360 - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 28, 2017
|Difficulty needs not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying
2 - Nehemiah, I can see that you wrote a common app essay response. However, you did not include the prompt...
Undergraduatetmuk - Dec 27, 2017 / Holt - Dec 28, 2017
|Ugrad DIVE in different culture
2 - taqwa , your essay has good intentions but is really so difficult to read that half the time, what...
Undergraduatetaqwa79 - Dec 27, 2017 / Holt - Dec 27, 2017
|Proving that I will be a succesful student at Johns Hopkins University
3 - hey Danny You have a greatly chosen account which would do with some improvement in the execution.Your script was...
Undergraduatedannylee3782 - Dec 27, 2017 / tmuk - Dec 27, 2017
|A little bit about myself. UGRAD application
2 - Павел, you must never toot your own horn when you write an application essay describing why you might be...
UndergraduatePavelMik - Dec 26, 2017 / Holt - Dec 27, 2017
|Just for fun at the beginning. Rice University Supplemental Essay. Am I being too honest?
4 - Stefany, the main focus of your interest, the beautiful campus, is what makes this a very weak essay. Sure...
Undergraduatestefanyboyas - Dec 26, 2017 / Holt - Dec 27, 2017
|Application to Waterloo - AIF; Admission Information Form
3 - @Holt I've made some changes, hopefully it is better than the previous version. I have always been fascinated...
UndergraduateTesla00 - Dec 26, 2017 / Tesla00 - Dec 26, 2017
|What makes a bowl of cereal? Rice University Perspective Essay Supplement
4 - I really like at what you are aiming for: an addition to the Rice community. You're trying to sell...
UndergraduateJNicEIce18 - Dec 21, 2017 / stefanyboyas - Dec 26, 2017
|Event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world
UndergraduateAKW - Dec 25, 2017 / AKW - Dec 26, 2017
|We make our happy endings
2 - Abdelrhman, there is too much collective discussion in this essay. Refrain from using the term "we" and go with...
Undergraduateabdelrhman99 - Dec 26, 2017 / Holt - Dec 26, 2017
|What is one of your quirks?
Undergraduatejlee18 - Dec 25, 2017 / Holt - Dec 25, 2017
|Personal essey: Apply for New York University in Shanghai
2 - XIN YI, essay that you wrote is not appropriate for the prompt that you chose. This is better suited...
Undergraduatemcyglldt8 - Dec 24, 2017 / Holt - Dec 24, 2017
|I am still experience failures and I am happy with that.
4 - Man, this essay doesn't portray a single obstacle, setback, or failure in your life. Rather these are a series...
UndergraduateMANMAI98 - Dec 24, 2017 / Holt - Dec 24, 2017
|Rice - heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings
2 - Jason, you misdirected the focus of the essay when you brought in the discussion of Arthur Ashe as a...
UndergraduateJSN2018 - Dec 23, 2017 / Holt - Dec 23, 2017
|Personal Essay _ College Application - lessons from challenges, setbacks or failures
2 - Seif , you need to create a more understandable essay. This essay doesn't really portray a proper setback, failure...
UndergraduateXavier26 - Dec 22, 2017 / Holt - Dec 22, 2017
|WHY NYU COLLEGE SUPPLEMENT ESSAY (MAX 400)
2 - Vivian, your response has to be more focused. Right now, you are throwing in ideas that don't really relate...
Undergraduatecatsanddogs - Dec 21, 2017 / Holt - Dec 22, 2017
|Seed - Changing Belief Systems
UndergraduateIsabellaalmeida - Dec 21, 2017 / Holt - Dec 21, 2017
|Essay for opportunity of lifetime - Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program
3 - Hi, Denana! First of all, you should review your essay and pay more attention to grammar, sentence structure, and...
Undergraduatedjenana - Dec 20, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Dec 20, 2017
|Being Chinese and Venezuelan. My two cultures which defined me. Common App essay - Prompt 1
3 - Hi, Michell! Your essay is interesting, but I think that, as Mary said, you should "mix" a little bit...
UndergraduateMichell20 - Dec 20, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Dec 20, 2017
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