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|UBC - what my family, friends, and community think of me? A person who they know they can count on.
2 - You are right about the story removing the focus of your statement from the prompt requirements. Actually, the reviewer...
Undergraduatemjanders - Dec 1, 2021 / Holt - Dec 1, 2021
|UIC application personal essay -"Meaning of My Life"
2 - Here is the thing, reviewers find it hard to believe any truthful interest in a specific form of...
Undergraduatedavid18 - Nov 30, 2021 / Holt - Nov 30, 2021
|Common App Essay - "Love Yourself"
2 - I do not personally believe that this is the correct prompt for this essay. Your discussion is more of...
Undergraduatehannah18 - Nov 30, 2021 / Holt - Nov 30, 2021
|The Importance of Staying Active - UBC What is important to you
2 - There is a disconnection between mental health, physical health, cross country, and your stressors in life. It is all...
Undergraduatevanvanvan - Nov 29, 2021 / Holt - Nov 30, 2021
|Balance - UBC Tell us about who you are.
UndergraduateChroma - Nov 28, 2021 / Chroma - Nov 29, 2021
|Overcoming setbacks. UBC personal profile essay : TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU ARE
2 - The problem is that YOU HAVE TO REWRITE THIS ESSAY FROM SCRATCH. Read the prompt and then review your...
Undergraduatelin003 - Nov 28, 2021 / Holt - Nov 29, 2021
|An emerging young adult - UBC Essay Application: Tell us about yourself
2 - Why is that so? Offer an example of your "adulting" skills in terms of being a responsible and...
UndergraduateJaydenzhang0928 - Nov 28, 2021 / Holt - Nov 28, 2021
|WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU? WHY? Knowing my limits
2 - Knowing your limits refers to actually finding out what your limitations are and how you got around it. It...
Undergraduatemo6562 - Nov 27, 2021 / Holt - Nov 28, 2021
|Taking Initiative - UBC Personal Profile Admissions - What is important to you and why?
2 - There is a problem with your claim. While you did take the initiative to make your voice heard and...
Undergraduatekarenxmx - Nov 25, 2021 / Holt - Nov 26, 2021
|The unlimited possibilities of engineering. Accomplishment that sparked a period of personal growth.
Undergraduatematemrtnez - Nov 21, 2021 / matemrtnez - Nov 22, 2021
|Describe an experience which talks a lot about you
2 - The essay that you wrote best suits the personal topic prompt. The events as you relate it do not...
Undergraduatebriannah16 - Nov 15, 2021 / Holt - Nov 16, 2021
|Reason for choosing your program and Waterloo- AIF form Math (Financial Analysis/Risk Management)
3 - In my opinion you should start the essay by briefly mentioning the reasons why you are interested on FARM...
UndergraduateASG - Nov 3, 2021 / vanehers - Nov 9, 2021
|Applying for nursing school and would like others to read my short answer response.
2 - Please clarify, are you already working as a nurse or in a related field ? This statement could...
Undergraduatebbarkey30 - Nov 8, 2021 / Holt - Nov 9, 2021
|Common App 5th prompt- College deciding period has been a soul-searching for me
NEW - an accomplishment, event, or realization essay Prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of...
Undergraduatejaehyunpeaches - Nov 5, 2021 / — -
|"I see life flowing through wires"- My common app personal statement
NEW - the prompt: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one...
Undergraduatehmed satour - Nov 1, 2021 / — -
|My desires became my fuel. Common App essay (Any topic)
NEW - the topic of your choice My desires became my fuel. The summer before ninth grade, my parents sold...
Undergraduatemzou335 - Nov 1, 2021 / — -
|College essay review - learning to love what i hated
NEW - Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself...
Undergraduateplutoz - Oct 30, 2021 / — -
|Personal Statement about suitability of being part of Glocal:Erasmus Mundus Global Political Economy
2 - Before discussing your career path, consider your academic background first. There is no connection between your Social Work...
UndergraduateMahle - Oct 28, 2021 / Holt - Oct 29, 2021
|I chose Information Engg Course at Ritsumeikan because.. of opportunities
2 - The discussion paragraphs are disconnected. Logical development and connection between paragraph ideas are necessary to properly answer the question....
Undergraduatefeminjo - Oct 26, 2021 / Holt - Oct 27, 2021
|Debating challenge - How did it affect you (COMMONAPP)
2 - The discussion should represent both sides of the story. Surely you were told the reason why you were being...
Undergraduatedezade - Oct 26, 2021 / Holt - Oct 27, 2021
|My friends and family hold great trust in me and would describe me as ...
3 - Hii! This is not professional advice, just a peer-to-peer review based on what I've learned from past applicants &...
Undergraduatebhavye - Oct 25, 2021 / Aiza05 - Oct 26, 2021
|UBC Sauder School of Business - Personal Profile Essay - RESPONSE TO A PROBLEM /UNFAMILIAR SITUATION
3 - @Holt Thank you soo much for your review. I sadly reached the world limit hence I couldn't reflect more...
UndergraduateAiza05 - Oct 25, 2021 / Aiza05 - Oct 26, 2021
|My foundation for the future. International Relations Personal Statement
2 - A personal statement should help the reviewer understand the basis of your interest in International Relations. It should not...
Undergraduatevankhanh - Oct 25, 2021 / Holt - Oct 25, 2021
|Playing squash - UBC Personal profile - WHAT ARE U PROUD OF AND WHY?
Undergraduatehypermonk - Oct 21, 2021 / Holt - Oct 23, 2021
|Computer Science, Biology, and Psychology - Why Northwestern? for ED
2 - Unnecessary references.The current discussion is casually relaxed as it is. Don't overdo it. Stay mindful of...
UndergraduateBackwardsPi - Oct 20, 2021 / Holt - Oct 21, 2021
|My college essay - Describe the most important thing in my life and explain why - My persistence
Undergraduatedavid2004 - Oct 20, 2021 / david2004 - Oct 20, 2021
|My 16-inch World. Personal Statement - HKUST - Undergraduate Program in Computer Science
2 - Do not confuse the personal statement with your autobiography. The reference to your parents are out of place and...
Undergraduatetechsavvy576 - Oct 18, 2021 / Holt - Oct 19, 2021
|My creativity - How would people in your community describe you, what are you proud of yourself
2 - There is no "I" reference in this essay. Disassociate yourself from the presentation. Use a 3rd person reference since...
Undergraduatedavid2004 - Oct 18, 2021 / Holt - Oct 19, 2021
|My gap year essay - Pandemic, work, struggles and social service.
2 - The essay is very wordy and definitely set out to impress. . The problem is, beyond bragging eights, you...
UndergraduateThe_Adam - Oct 17, 2021 / Holt - Oct 18, 2021
|Solving puzzles in my life - Personal Narrative essay on an accomplishment, event, or realization
2 - The actual discussion focus does not match the prompt. since you have placed so much effort into the development...
Undergraduatekevpink11 - Oct 14, 2021 / Holt - Oct 14, 2021
|Hardworking - My UBC Personal profile- Tell us about who you are.
2 - I believe that this section should be the main focus of the section because it implies a type...
UndergraduateLilDavy - Oct 11, 2021 / Holt - Oct 12, 2021
|Business is the blood of the nation's economy. GKS personal statement - business administration
2 - This sentence is mether a motivation nora family background reference. Aat let's down the reviewer who is expecting...
Undergraduateprincevince - Sep 27, 2021 / Holt - Oct 10, 2021
|In 250-300 words, tell us more about you and why you are considering VCU (Transfer Essay)
2 - The reviewer will be looking for reasons why you will bea good fit for the VCU student community and...
UndergraduateMadisonM99 - Oct 2, 2021 / Holt - Oct 8, 2021
|MIT Essay: I am a BLEND. Cultural Identity short essay. Evaluate my essay.
Undergraduateasm525 - Sep 30, 2021 / Janyanwu03 - Oct 7, 2021
|Your activities (up to three) to which you attached meaning and devoted yourself in high school
2 - The response to this prompt should focus an activity that challenged the applicant's skills or, helped develop character through...
UndergraduateMiha - Oct 2, 2021 / Holt - Oct 5, 2021
|My background and identity - I'm from Morocco - country with people attached to their traditions
4 - I believe that your essay is too short and not detailed enough to describe yourself. You literally spent almost...
Undergraduatemessilyass - Sep 29, 2021 / mirajanesherry - Oct 3, 2021
|Tell us about any hobby you are passionate about and why you think it's important. UWC essay.
Undergraduateaanya_05 - Sep 25, 2021 / Huongmie - Oct 2, 2021
|Cite cases in which you thought/attemped in ways different from others & how it affected you.
Undergraduateashes1 - Sep 25, 2021 / ashes1 - Sep 26, 2021
|Study plans to learn something new everyday by learning Korean and also about the country
UndergraduateJessica05 - Sep 3, 2021 / nb19 - Sep 24, 2021
|PERSONAL STATEMENT / Global Korea Scholarships (GKS-U) 2022 / Media & Communication
3 - you can try to be more clear and concise in your accomplishments, and don't belittle yourself at any time,...
Undergraduatedearzhongli - Sep 19, 2021 / may4 - Sep 23, 2021
|GKS 2022 undergraduate major in film. "Being a part of something special makes you special, right?"
2 - The language discussion does not belong in this statement. heate a far more intricate language study history in the...
Undergraduatemay4 - Sep 20, 2021 / Holt - Sep 22, 2021
|SCHOLARSHIP PERSONAL STATEMENT // GKS 2022 Undergraduate Architecture
Undergraduatecmdk - Sep 19, 2021 / cmdk - Sep 20, 2021
|Personal Statement/ GKS Undergraduate Scholarship/ Economics and finances
NEW - PERSONAL STATEMENT - Motivations with which you apply for this program - Family and Education background - Significant experiences...
Undergraduatealaniscarvalho - Sep 17, 2021 / — -
|Personal Statement/ GKS Undergraduate Scholarship/ Communication and Media Major
UndergraduateEssie Kim - Sep 16, 2021 / Essie Kim - Sep 17, 2021
|Finance and accounting - Personal Statement for NUS/NTU/SMU undergrad
2 - The essay needs to focus on one particular aspect of interest and its development on your part. For this...
UndergraduateVidushi - Sep 16, 2021 / Holt - Sep 17, 2021
|[KGPP] PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR UNDERGRATUATED SCHOLARSHIP - BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION
2 - There is a disconnection between gender discrimination and your ambition. Mostly because, for all the national significance of your...
Undergraduatekaitlyn280123 - Sep 15, 2021 / Holt - Sep 16, 2021
|PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR KGSP/GKS undergraduate Scholarship/ Mass Communication Major
2 - The applicant is applying for the wrong undergraduate course. Rather than Mass communications, he should be applying as a...
Undergraduatehaving100issues - Sep 13, 2021 / Holt - Sep 14, 2021
|What is an effective life?
2 - The essay does not make its intention clear to the reader. Is the point to define an effective life...
Undergraduatesinojisak02 - Sep 11, 2021 / Holt - Sep 13, 2021
|KGSP/GKS-U 2022 PERSONAL STATEMENT - Communication major; Motivations, family, experiences, etc.
5 - @hahaleesunwoo Try to make it shorter and remove hangul words because they clearly said that write it in Korean...
Undergraduatehahaleesunwoo - Aug 20, 2021 / shreyasrivastava - Aug 30, 2021
|GKS Personal Statement-Korean Language and Literature Major
Undergraduateayutian - Aug 25, 2021 / Holt - Aug 28, 2021
|Global Korea Scholarship 2022 PERSONAL STATEMENT - Communication major
3 - You've explain all the must included information, but your essay is still lack in the relationships between the paragraphs....
Undergraduateadeliatiara365 - Aug 23, 2021 / ayutian - Aug 25, 2021
|I am applying for GKS Undergraduate 2022 and this is my Personal Statement (Electrical Engineering)
3 - @Holt Thank you for comment. I have one more question, Do you think the first paragraph is attractive...
Undergraduatemysp2001 - Aug 22, 2021 / mysp2001 - Aug 23, 2021
|Any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them
2 - Quirky is good. It made an interesting hook. The Betty Crocker reference is a bit overkill though. More attention...
Undergraduatemidnight_storm - Aug 22, 2021 / Holt - Aug 23, 2021
|Global Scientists and Engineers Program Application Essay pt.1
2 - The first paragraph fails to make a clear point. It needs to be better thought out and organized since...
Undergraduatede_doctor - Aug 22, 2021 / Holt - Aug 23, 2021
|Global Korean Scholarship Undergraduate - Food and Nutrition Department
2 - The essay is easy to read but lacking in notable substance. There are no academic achievements of note and...
Undergraduateasnwflks - Jul 24, 2021 / Holt - Jul 25, 2021
|Education from Poverty - PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GLOBAL KOREA SCHOLARSHIP (GKS), BBA
3 - I can literally see your great efforts.Great work!! I would suggest you to follow up the above mentioned suggestions....
Undergraduateshazia112 - Jul 7, 2021 / simranmavi03 - Jul 18, 2021
|Critical Thinking is the key to success
3 - There are a lot of grammatical errors in this essay. It almost feels as if you haven't been bothered...
Undergraduatengocngoc1234 - Jul 8, 2021 / peachyfrenchfry - Jul 16, 2021
|Winning a Competition and Getting Involved in Organizations; NUS Achievements Personal Statement
3 - If your intended major is computer science, why would you throw it off by mentioning other subjects that you're...
Undergraduatefredkh - Jul 9, 2021 / peachyfrenchfry - Jul 16, 2021
|Farm work - MIT undergrad application essay
NEW - Prompt: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell...
Undergraduatetechmind20 - Jul 8, 2021 / — -
|GKS PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION
NEW - After spending 18 years of my life in poverty, I realized that how much important is the money to...
UndergraduateAzra123 - Jul 5, 2021 / — -
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