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|"How living in diverse cultures shaped my personality" - UBC Personal Profile Essay
Undergraduateitsavi2208 - Jan 12, 2019 / Mariakono - Jan 16, 2019
|A New Light (Ringling College of Art and Design Application Essay)
4 - Jean, when the students who hire me as a consultant for their essays in private ask me how to...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|Statement of Intent (Loyola Marymount University Application, Fall 2019)
4 - Jean, Loyola being a Catholic university, requires you to slant your response statement in a religious manner. Think about...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|Driven / Debate Club - UBC Personal Profile - who you are
3 - Mathias, you already established that your parents collectively view you are a committed, honest, and strong-willed young man. There...
UndergraduateMrYoda2000 - Jan 14, 2019 / Holt - Jan 15, 2019
|Potential to be a leader- CASE WESTERN PROMPT
4 - I am sorry for the above message, it happened accidentally. This was the first time when I: It...
Undergraduateblackpool - Jan 8, 2019 / StevenSameh1512 - Jan 14, 2019
|'METAPHOR THAT DEFINES ME' - UBC PERSONAL PROFILE ESSAY
4 - You focused on giving something about yourself and didn't give the same attention to the parents or friends opinion....
UndergraduateAnish_k - Jan 13, 2019 / StevenSameh1512 - Jan 14, 2019
|An 'Insufferable Know-It-All' - Who You Are - UBC Uni Writing Prompt 2019
3 - Change the whole essay. You are supposed to represent yourself from the point of view of up to 3...
Undergraduatekarakimmie - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
|Life Challenge Supplemental Essay for UCLA
2 - Nope. This essay isn't going to work for one main reason, the body of paragraph that shows you disrespecting...
Undergraduatercalv25 - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
|"Dynamic word" - My application prompt for UBC: Tell us about who you are.
5 - Going and interviewing your family members, friends, teachers, co-workers, and employers will give you everything you need to properly...
Undergraduatedroll555 - Jan 3, 2019 / charleto9 - Jan 12, 2019
|Academic and Practial World - University of Waterloo. AIF. Reason for choosing to study CE program
4 - You could write more about what your intended program in Waterloo offers in particular that makes it different from...
UndergraduateNine_99 - Jan 11, 2019 / Jean145 - Jan 12, 2019
|Chasing Dreams (Loyola Marymount University Admissions Fall 2019, Writing Prompt #2)
2 - Jean, I get a sense that the word definitions are being used in this essay to meet the maximum...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 11, 2019 / Holt - Jan 12, 2019
|Colgate University Supplement - three words your friend uses, which tells a lot about you
2 - Ria, considering the maximum word or character count for this prompt, is there any way that you can use...
UndergraduateRIA123 - Jan 11, 2019 / Holt - Jan 12, 2019
|Traveling and exploring the world - UBC University Undergraduate Prompt Response #1
2 - Dan, you need to represent 3 different people in this discussion based on the prompt requirements. These people are...
Undergraduatenot_from_denmark - Jan 9, 2019 / Holt - Jan 10, 2019
|My cousin - write a paragraph about your idol's trait
2 - Giang, advise is different from advice. The action is spelled as "advise" , while advice means a suggestion for...
Undergraduatezangangle - Jan 9, 2019 / Holt - Jan 10, 2019
|Tenacity, humility, and responsibility - Colgate - three words describe you.
2 - Steven, you are putting words into your friend's mouth. Do not speak for your friend. Allow your friend to...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Jan 8, 2019 / Holt - Jan 9, 2019
|Impact of people on social media
3 - Sunny, the topic for the essay has come too late in the presentation. You have spent too much time...
Undergraduateelegantbug - Jan 8, 2019 / Holt - Jan 9, 2019
|Veganism Journey - Common Application
Undergraduatenarrowingenuity - Jan 8, 2019 / rsrag - Jan 8, 2019
|"What Political Party are You?" -Georgetown question too open-ended and common app doesn't fit
2 - Wow! I have never read such a sincere, heartfelt, and educational personal essay such as this ever at this...
Undergraduatersrag - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|University of Waterloo-AIF-Response for choosing to study CS or CE programs.
2 - Nahin, since you are not being asked about who influenced your desire to enter the field of CS or...
UndergraduateNahin_007 - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|Essay for Common App: Technology-What I think
3 - Aleena, this sounds like an IELTS Task 2 essay prompt response rather than an open topic essay. The open...
UndergraduateNo one - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 8, 2019
|Hockey - Personal Profile Essay- University Application
NEW - I am working on completing a college application, but I am not very good at writing about myself. Any...
Undergraduatetyragage - Jan 8, 2019 / — -
|UBC Personal Profile questions. Who are you? A persistent and meticulous person.
2 - Harry, this essay will have a stronger opening if you immediately start with "My parents often refer to me...
UndergraduateHarrrrrrry - Jan 7, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Graphic Design as an extracurricular activity - ALA essay.
2 - You have not understood the prompt requirement. The essay is not asking you for several activities nor a competition...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Why USC? Supplement - Environmental Science Major/ Economics Minor
2 - Jordan, the way that you will pursue your academic interests at USC should help to establish the platform for...
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Literature and Foreign Languages - Autobiography to apply to university
2 - Brenna, while the term that you chose to describe yourself is impressive because it is not an English word,...
Undergraduatehainhi17 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|Career in law - Help with UPenn Supplemental Essay
2 - Taylor, I do not believe that your response fits the prompt requirements because you are looking back on how...
UndergraduateTaybae52 - Jan 6, 2019 / Holt - Jan 7, 2019
|I believe that some of the greatest successes stem from the act of persistence. UBC Personal Profile
3 - Imran, the quote from Michelle Obama is nothing more than an unnecessary word filler. The reviewer would rather hear...
Undergraduateiahamed - Jan 5, 2019 / Holt - Jan 6, 2019
|Film-making interest - USC Supplement
5 - In that case, I don't think that your last sentence in the essay should be included in this presentation....
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 5, 2019 / Holt - Jan 6, 2019
|My limitations. Motivation Essay for FLTA Program
2 - Rafael, the FLTA is a scholarship that hopes to promote both an educational and cultural exchange among its foreign...
Undergraduatenaly92 - Jan 4, 2019 / Holt - Jan 5, 2019
|What do you hope to reach by participating in the Summer Institutes? The main reasons for attending
2 - Cezar, the first 2 paragraphs of this essay are only repetitions of the same intention, described in 3 different...
Undergraduatecezar_matreniuc - Jan 4, 2019 / Holt - Jan 5, 2019
|Waterloo for enrich my education and make me a well-rounded candidate for biomedicine.
Undergraduatekatsocatso - Jan 3, 2019 / katsocatso - Jan 4, 2019
|"The Seminar Paper" - Princeton "Person who has influenced you" essay
3 - Thank you @Holt, that is reassuring to hear. I see you're point with critiquing Lucas' critique - I...
UndergraduateFJNapplicant - Jan 3, 2019 / FJNapplicant - Jan 4, 2019
|Sick Mom - What is important to you? And why? (maximum 250 words) for UBC
2 - This is a good start to the essay. Just remember to balance the presentation between what the community did...
Undergraduateidii01 - Jan 4, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|I've always wanted to be an astronaut. UGRAD
2 - Camila, your essay lacks a direct reference to reasons that you will make a good candidate. These considerations would...
UndergraduateCamilabido - Dec 31, 2018 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|Common app essay prompt 5 discussing my interest in Physics
3 - Thank you so much for your feedback. Apart from mismatched prompt, is my essay as a whole good? Does...
UndergraduateRichardfeynmanfa - Jan 2, 2019 / Richardfeynmanfa - Jan 4, 2019
|"An out-of-district student" - What about being a student at BU most excites you?
3 - Ofek, this essay sounds more like you want to become part of the Oak Part community, rather than Boston...
Undergraduateshmoolio - Jan 3, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|IVEY (Business school supplementary essay) It needs to be shortened roughly 100 words!
2 - The first sentence of the essay is incomplete. It lacks a proper subject with which to introduce the topic...
UndergraduateNOTTHESTEVEN - Jan 2, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|Women of Color and Strong Business Fields - Yale Significant Issue Question
2 - Ngozi, try to control your own temper when writing this essay as nobody is arguing with you. Instead try...
UndergraduateNewmoo - Jan 2, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|CommonApp prompt 1. I tried to mix my own "unique voice" to it. This is the aftermath.
2 - Munkhbat, towards the end of the essay, you claim to be building a website based on Python. It would...
UndergraduateRefeature - Jan 2, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|A Narrative Essay about a Personal Struggle - Common Application
3 - Khalid, if you have written this essay for the obstacles that you encountered in life that you had to...
Undergraduatekhalid123 - Jan 2, 2019 / Holt - Jan 4, 2019
|"How we lost to win" - New York University Abu Dhabi #Prompt2
2 - I've noticed it seems you're writing a novel and not an essay. You do however include good information such...
Undergraduatemydudeaintcool - Dec 31, 2018 / NOTTHESTEVEN - Jan 2, 2019
|ALA ESSAY - ILLITERACY PROBLEM AND SOLUTION- 683 WORDS
2 - Steven, you misinterpreted the prompt. You are not being asked about a national need, which is what illiteracy is...
UndergraduateStevenSameh1512 - Jan 1, 2019 / Holt - Jan 2, 2019
|Princeton Supplemental Essay on Culture (650 words)
2 - Vincent, While this sojourn of yours into the LGBTQ community during Pride Day is an interesting look at an...
Undergraduatevinguinpenguin - Jan 1, 2019 / Holt - Jan 2, 2019
|Waterloo Engineering AIF: Why Systems Design at UW?
3 - Joy, since you were not able to build up the discussion for your interest in the Management course, you...
Undergraduatewiddendream - Dec 31, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2019
|I was elected president of the student center - global Ugrad program.
2 - Rocio, the essay does not respond to the prompt. You are not being asked to present several instances when...
UndergraduateRociomaria - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2019
|Typical Day After School ( Georgia Tech)
3 - Joseph, do not use a typical academic day for this essay. You are being asked to describe a typical...
UndergraduateEdSharon - Dec 31, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2019
|Peer Review for Undergraduate Essay - AUD and what may prevent early onset.
Undergraduatejrtober - Dec 30, 2018 / jrtober - Jan 1, 2019
|Blame it on the language - common app personal essay
2 - sat down *at* my desk, maybe elaborate on what you mean by switched sections, was kind of confusing what...
Undergraduatesawun213 - Jan 1, 2019 / vinguinpenguin - Jan 1, 2019
|WILLIAMS COLLEGE ESSAY - Opium War
UndergraduateTianrun - Jan 1, 2019 / sawun213 - Jan 1, 2019
|Talented students - Why us? California Lutheran University.
3 - The essay has potential, but you still need to improve. I think the last sentence was difficult to read...
Undergraduatetimus85 - Dec 31, 2018 / mmahtab10 - Jan 1, 2019
|"I Fence for Brentwood, for those under appreciated" Common App essay:
3 - Thank you for your advice I'll get started on another essay, besides putting both topics together how was this...
Undergraduatebolivarmike75 - Dec 29, 2018 / bolivarmike75 - Dec 31, 2018
|JHU Supplemental Essay (about doing a math competition with middle schoolers)
2 - "I attended the Caltech-Harvey ..." Since you are working under such a limited word count, I feel that a...
Undergraduatemikeyt14 - Dec 31, 2018 / widdendream - Dec 31, 2018
|Statement of Interest for HCI Summer Research Program - design thinking
3 - Thank you so much for your time and effort! I will clarify the part of Coursera courses. I think...
UndergraduateYrfksha - Dec 29, 2018 / Yrfksha - Dec 31, 2018
|Bananafish - UVA Supplement: Work of literature that surprised me
2 - Well, the literature that you chose definitely had an unsettling element on your part. Don't worry about being seen...
UndergraduateGmvargas - Dec 31, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|Common App Essay Sudoku, Medical, Death
4 - Alysia, the essay is more focused on your relationship with your grandmother than on the way that her death...
Undergraduateakang - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|CommonApp: Essay of your Choice - the story of my experience and how it has affected me
2 - Pradipta, the essay is lacking a reference to what you learned about the Rohingya people in the essay. You...
UndergraduateZoldyckUSA - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|Dear roommate, diss my tart — Stanford supplement
3 - Anna, be realistic, write a real humorous letter that introduces you to your roommate. Your letter is unrealistic and...
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|MIT essay. About my dance workshop charity to raise money to a boy who got cancer.
3 - Nazym, the essay feels like it is starting in the middle with the way that you formatted your first...
Undergraduatenazym_ziyabek - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|Brown is perfect for me! — Why Brown supplement
2 - Anna, what was the purpose of your high school research? Why should the reviewer be interested to know that...
Undergraduateanna123 - Dec 30, 2018 / Holt - Dec 31, 2018
|NYU Tisch Film and TV Personal Story Essay - Anywhere I could improve? Is this good storytelling?
Undergraduatedarylp01 - Dec 30, 2018 / darylp01 - Dec 31, 2018
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