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|What I learned working as a waitress
Undergraduatecmzaz - Jan 1, 2018 / KhushbooVohra - Jan 10, 2018
|SCAD Fashion Marketing and Management Statement of Purpose
2 - Normaris, you only described your personal experience and interest in fashion and design in this essay. There is no...
Undergraduatenomodomo - Jan 10, 2018 / Holt - Jan 10, 2018
|I've got a ticket in my hand. So, I can go anywhere? My choice would be Madagascar.
2 - Markus, surely you can be more adventurous than this. If Madagascar is so special to you then you should...
Undergraduatemarkus12345 - Jan 9, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|The most important thing to me is being able to spend time with my family. UBC essay
3 - Aaron, using your family as a reference to what is important to you is incomplete. It is not your...
UndergraduateAaronTran - Jan 9, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile. Explain the role you played and what you learned in the process.
3 - Warisha, you should try to avoid duplicating information that you have already stated in a previous response to a...
UndergraduateWarisha - Jan 8, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|Short essay on one page statment about something awsome.
3 - guan, the main problem with this short essay is that you are showing a lack of control over sentence...
Undergraduatemickeyguan - Jan 8, 2018 / Holt - Jan 9, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: Explain How You Responded To A Problem
Undergraduateyounmass - Jan 7, 2018 / younmass - Jan 8, 2018
|"Stan... is something else" - UBC Personal Profile : Describing myself
2 - Stanslous, your second sentence is a run on. It is also too long. Divide that presentation into 2 sentences...
UndergraduateStan_a - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 7, 2018
|Lafayette's rigorous economics program emphasizing on the global contemporary issues attracts me.
2 - Hien, do not close this essay with a question. Are you seriously expecting the reviewer to respond to you?...
UndergraduateMrsOng - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 7, 2018
|Lafayette College Supplement: Why Lafayette?
4 - Here are some of my suggestions. You should not tell Lafayette wasn't the first school you researched. This will...
Undergraduateinesanleu - Jan 6, 2018 / MrsOng - Jan 6, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: Tell us about who you are?
2 - Warisha, this is a very uninteresting essay because you practically approached it from a bullets presentation in a question...
UndergraduateWarisha - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 6, 2018
|"A different language is a different vision of life". My vision of life changed in the USA
3 - Marta, what exactly is the prompt that you are responding to? I don't really understand what the point of...
Undergraduatezabka10 - Jan 6, 2018 / Holt - Jan 6, 2018
|Transfer Application: Community college to VA Tech
2 - Sahar, the most effective transfer application essay always contains a comparison of the education that you received in your...
UndergraduateApples19 - Jan 5, 2018 / Holt - Jan 6, 2018
|University of Pennsylvania supplement: What are you gonna do here?
2 - Wenbo, this is already a very long response statement. Don't you have a word limit on it? I feel...
UndergraduateUltimaWeapon - Jan 5, 2018 / Holt - Jan 6, 2018
|My Dickinson's supp essay; 'unique program through the liberal-arts lens'
UndergraduateMrsOng - Jan 4, 2018 / MrsOng - Jan 6, 2018
|Anyone feel free to Critique my Waterloo AIF for Management Engineering - application form
3 - Thanks so much for your advice. I have been trying to got proper advice from peers but most kept...
UndergraduateArcticWolf - Jan 5, 2018 / ArcticWolf - Jan 6, 2018
|Personal Statement/ Prompt 1 (Background)/ A time I helped my friend
3 - "Ever since that day, we were inseparable." <- by "that day," do you mean the day you stopped your...
Undergraduatengonhat352 - Jan 4, 2018 / UltimaWeapon - Jan 5, 2018
|The music has held a deep importance for me - the essay on what is the most important in my life
Undergraduatesethclogan - Jan 5, 2018 / sethclogan - Jan 5, 2018
|A differed point of view from a teacher or employer during an evaluation of your performance
2 - Naomi, aside from being confident in your work and skills, you should also discuss how you learned to use...
Undergraduatenaenaebunny - Jan 5, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|Art Institute of Charlotte Essay; career goals in connection with the education at AI
2 - Tristin, you need to have specifics indicated in your essay so that you can impress upon the reviewer that...
UndergraduateTristinRussell - Jan 5, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: Describe an unfamiliar situation & what you have learned dealing with it?
2 - @watashiwano this essay is alright in terms of the topic you chose for the discussion. However, the fact that...
Undergraduatewatashiwano - Jan 4, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|UBC Personal Profile: essay about racial discrimination, language barrier and disparity
2 - @watashiwano Here is the thing, you chose the most unbelievable age to use as your age of enlightenment. The...
Undergraduatewatashiwano - Jan 4, 2018 / Holt - Jan 5, 2018
|Essay for Princeton University, Engineering college
UndergraduateGabchacho - Jan 1, 2018 / watashiwano - Jan 4, 2018
|Reasons for Carnegie Mellon school pick
Undergraduateethanfine - Jan 3, 2018 / Holt - Jan 4, 2018
|NUS personal statement about my experience joining Physics Olympiad
4 - Hello! I think you wrote a very good essay, and your theme addresses the prompt. However, you didn't correlate...
Undergraduatejohanessuhardjo - Dec 24, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Jan 3, 2018
|Showing I'm capable for Johns Hopkins
2 - Sameen, the usual reason that the applicants overshoot the word requirement is because they always try to go for...
Undergraduatesmahm200 - Jan 3, 2018 / Holt - Jan 3, 2018
|Short essays for an application. (Personal Statement)
2 - Hi Kosuke, Since the question asks for what you learned about yourself as a leader and team member,...
UndergraduateTryharder - Jan 2, 2018 / SWMaster - Jan 2, 2018
|"Run!" "Get up!" Mandatory practices with my dad. Apply Texas Essay B
Undergraduateadamalonzo123 - Jan 2, 2018 / adamalonzo123 - Jan 2, 2018
|UBC Application - surrounded by unfamiliar things
2 - BG, this is a pretty straightforward response to the prompt that was provided. It delivers on all the required...
UndergraduateGoforit - Jan 2, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2018
|What is important to you? Happiness
4 - Robinson, you may want to rethink the first part of this essay. The relevance of your father as the...
UndergraduatePea - Jan 2, 2018 / Holt - Jan 2, 2018
|Why Swarthmore? Swarthmore's commitment to collaboration and community service is amazing
4 - Nice essay and I think you show the admissions officers that you did your research and know their university...
Undergraduatewintergirl898 - Jan 1, 2018 / SWMaster - Jan 2, 2018
|"My Passion for Environmental Protection" - Why NYU Essay
4 - "The global exposure at NYU will helps me Str excel ..." NYU hasn't done this just yet! Besides the...
Undergraduateericattang - Dec 28, 2017 / wintergirl898 - Jan 2, 2018
|Leadership style for Global UGRAD can be applied in different programs
5 - hello Arie, thanks for your comments, sorry I could not give my comment or even read your essay because...
Undergraduateforpis44 - Dec 28, 2017 / forpis44 - Jan 2, 2018
|A story about my experience with the Meisner Technique/NYU Film Essay
4 - @Holt thanks for the feedback! I had difficulty writing the beginning and went back and forth between a lot...
Undergraduateasuzor - Jan 1, 2018 / asuzor - Jan 1, 2018
|Personal Statement: prospective Asian Studies major
2 - Cindy would you by any chance have the full prompt for your personal statement? I'd love to read about...
Undergraduatemimi4488toea - Jan 1, 2018 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|America - my dream can be reachable. UGRAD ESSAY, why would you be a great participant
3 - My name is Ibesti Agenum Raningrum and right now I am studying at English Study Program in University of...
Undergraduatesunscent - Dec 31, 2017 / getlazy - Jan 1, 2018
|Why I want to study In ** College? (Scholarship) - there are four reasons
Undergraduateradszx - Dec 31, 2017 / radszx - Jan 1, 2018
|Women empowerment what why and how
3 - Maryam, all you provided in this essay was an extensive background in relation to this interest. However, not all...
UndergraduateMariamBakr2001 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|Why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s)?
2 - Min, This essay is good. It represents the prompt requirements on a personal level. However, it is not proper...
Undergraduatejacky9852 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 1, 2018
|What aspects of Northwestern appeal most to you? My Why Northwestern? essay sounds so generic
5 - @WileECoyote @Manal99 Thank you for your comments. Because the quarter system is one of the biggest reasons for me,...
Undergraduatelsa990105 - Dec 31, 2017 / lsa990105 - Dec 31, 2017
|What was the environment in which you were raised? APPLY TEXAS ESSAY A
Undergraduateadamalonzo123 - Dec 31, 2017 / adamalonzo123 - Dec 31, 2017
|'I live in a quiet place in Brussels suburbs'; MIT Essay - Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatetrodjo - Dec 31, 2017 / trodjo - Dec 31, 2017
|I inspire members to do more, learn more, dream more, also become more, in this, I am a leader.
Undergraduatepaddybear97 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|A sister's lesson - Common App Essay
3 - Jade, you turned the essay into the story of Malia with you as an observer and narrator. You have...
Undergraduatejspallina18 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|Any edits or suggestions for my Why Cornell essay? Leveraging my technological problem-solving
3 - Aviva, I don't get a sense of how you will actually leverage a Cornell Engineering education from this essay....
Undergraduateakern00 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|BROWN Supplements (why brown, why area of study you indicated before, how community shaped you)
4 - Manal, in the first prompt, you delivered a good response but you left a sentence incomplete at the end...
UndergraduateManal99 - Dec 31, 2017 / Holt - Dec 31, 2017
|"The Testing of the Sword" -Common App Essay on Showers
2 - I liked your theme of challenging yourself with cold water. However, for me, the second paragraph made a stronger...
Undergraduatespockmaster3000 - Dec 31, 2017 / Paulatinamenteg - Dec 31, 2017
|What aspect inspired the most and when did you hear about Vassar?
3 - Sarah, the motivation part is not clear. Simply attending these activities at the university grounds because you live close...
Undergraduatesg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Camp Counselor: Princeton Summers Supplement
Undergraduatesg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Cornell College of Arts & Sciences Supplement: biology + computer science + why Arts & Sciences
3 - Wenbo, Before you can discuss your passion for Biology, you must first discuss how your passion for science developed....
UndergraduateUltimaWeapon - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|DANCE: Princeton Extracurricular Activity
4 - There should be more about dancing as a company and dancing in general, remove working/teaching. At Princeton, I hope...
Undergraduatespg070600 - Dec 30, 2017 / sg07062000 - Dec 30, 2017
|COLLOQUIAL: What is your favorite word and why? UVa (300 words)
2 - Sarah, you became too focused on explaining the meaning of the word and its application various contexts rather than...
Undergraduatespg070600 - Dec 30, 2017 / Holt - Dec 30, 2017
|Why do you choose Boston University - BU prompt; strong connection and bond with this school
2 - Marta, you have written a lot of generic information in this response that does not tell the reviewer that...
Undergraduatezabka10 - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|Tell us what influenced you to select your major - Emerson College
3 - Ellie, you can safely remove the parts of this essay that refer to the reason that you chose to...
Undergraduateelliemarie - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|Write the story of your life until now, what would you title it and why - Emerson Essay
4 - @Holt Thank you so much for your advice! How would you recommend that I go about fixing this? Should...
Undergraduateelliemarie - Dec 29, 2017 / elliemarie - Dec 29, 2017
|Purdue supplement essay - how I plan to take advantage of Purdue's opportunities & programs
3 - Sebastian you don't have to tell the reviewer that you have been interested in aviation since you were little....
Undergraduatesebastianalves - Dec 29, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|UBC Application...Overcoming homelessness - what it taught me?
2 - N, you were a minor in the shelter system? This is an interesting response to the prompt. The only...
Undergraduatensaeed039 - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|DISCOVERING NEW PATHS. CURIOSITY MAKES ME A GREAT PARTICIPANT
4 - Phong, the UGrad candidate essay needs to be balanced between your personal interest in the program and your ability...
Undergraduatepaddybear97 - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|An exceptionally mathematically able student who is applying University of Waterloo
2 - Brittany, in the first section, you should not waste the space repeating information that can be seen in the...
Undergraduatelhbiubiubiu - Dec 28, 2017 / Holt - Dec 29, 2017
|"Why Cornell" Essay - Cosmology and Quantum Theory
UndergraduateIsabellaalmeida - Dec 11, 2017 / Isabellaalmeida - Dec 28, 2017
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