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Posts by TimMill
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Last Post: May 7, 2010
Threads: 9
Posts: 62  
From: Germany

Displayed posts: 71 / page 2 of 2
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TimMill   
Dec 1, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Cincinnati Admission Essay [2]

A good start- you have the fundamentals: your background, your interests, your goals. Remember the prompt, though: Please provide a Personal Statement regarding how your academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences have helped prepare you to succeed academically and to be an active member of the UC community. Be sure your response addresses each of the three components. You talk about how you're prepared to succeed academically, do you have enough words to explain how you'll be an active member of the UC community? Hope this helps, best of luck.
TimMill   
Dec 1, 2009
Undergraduate / My parents have constantly pushed me to study harder; Rutgers PS -Unique cultural exp [2]

Sorry it took so long to get to your essay, I hope it's not too late! While there's a lot of red ink there, it's a good start. As you correct it, remember the prompt:

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

You talk about your leadership activities and volunteer services, but you forget to talk about how your experience would contribute to Rutgers. You do a better job with the cultural aspect, though. Try to make the essay flow better, too- it's choppy in places. Best of luck!

Tim

TimMill   
Dec 1, 2009
Undergraduate / UC: Describe your world (I'd be happy to edit yours in return. [9]

Oh no, sorry punkst4r! You didn't post a link to your essay in your critique, so I didn't realize you had one. If you would like, I'd still be happy to do it, but seeing as the UC deadline is up... would you still like me to?

Really sorry about that, I didn't realize that you had an essay that needed correcting. :/
TimMill   
Nov 30, 2009
Undergraduate / UC: Describe your world (I'd be happy to edit yours in return. [9]

Hey all.

I've just finished up my UC essay (a little late, I know). Anyway, take a look, thanks. I'd be happy to offer suggestions to anybody else coming up on this UC deadline, too, providing they correct this and post a link to their essay in the next hour or so (it's 11:15 in Germany right now)...

anyway, thanks again!

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. *

My dad is an engineer; my mother, a dance major. Together, they taught me what is important in life- my father showed my how to approach problems, my mother exemplified the creativity needed to solve them. With this knowledge, it quickly became clear to me that every problem has a solution, and finding that solution is merely a matter of approaching that problem from the appropriate perspective. More than that, though, this knowledge helped me find a place in the world. The thought that every problem can be solved is earth shattering- it means that I can actively be an asset to humanity at large.

Since then, perspective has shaped my world. My world and I are truly in a symbiotic relationship- as I grow, it expands; as I change it, it changes me. As I travel through life, I collect perspectives. To do this, I interact. By communicating with people, no matter on what level, we absorb a little bit of their lives and gain valuable insight into the viewpoint of them.

For almost three years, I worked in a senior living home. There, I gathered the unique viewpoint of a group that has entire lifetimes of experience. That perspective was new to me: I quickly realized that the way I saw the world and the way that they did were in no way alike. And, while I could merely assimilate decades of experience through conversation, I could nonetheless appreciate it.

Equally revealing was my work at a gas station last summer. At a gas station, I had the singular opportunity of meeting just about everyone- as one of the most basic necessities of modern living; I witnessed all walks of life coming into my station. Always, no matter who they were, they had a way of looking at things- from the man who lived in his truck to the Mercedes salesman; everybody had a different history and a different perspective.

This year, I'm living in Luebeck, Germany, as part of a cultural exchange program with AFS. Here once again is a fresh set of perspectives- the country has a totally unique national mindset, and the people view world events, societal problems, and personal relationships in a different light than Americans. Here more than ever, I realize the importance of different mindsets.

Up until this point, my life and my mission may sound like those of an applicant to a Communications major, or maybe Intercultural Studies. Unlike in these majors, though, I don't see perspective as an end in itself. Like my parents taught me, perspective is a tool to understanding problems. On a national scale, the United States is running out of space to store waste. In Germany, though, recycling is much more prevalent, bottle deposit costs are five times as high, and trash combustion as an energy source is much more widespread. Applying this sort of perspective to America is a simple solution to one of our big problems- rather than spending resources on developing new ideas, we simply need to expand our perspective. Or, on a smaller scale: when the mechanics in the garage at my gas station couldn't start a car, Rusty, the man who lived in his truck behind the station, was the one who had the tricks to get it running. Again, the solution was not to expend time and energy by sending the car back to the manufacturer, but, rather, to simply take the advice of the man out back.

Engineering is about creating efficient solutions to practical problems, and, just as my life has taught me that every problem has an answer, it has also taught me that there are a lot of problems in this world. Hence, there is a very real need for engineers- people with vision, with skills, and with perception. Not only is engineering something I believe that, given my background, I can excel at, but I also see it as a calling- my aspiration in life is to build this world into a better place.
TimMill   
Nov 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "I laugh in impossible's face" - UC Personal Statement #1 [4]

Bah, it's an hour later and I'm realizing a few things I missed before... sorry. Here:

2nd line- developed is the opposite word of what you want- try receded, or withered.
3rd line- "does not simply instantly vanish" is better.
4th line- "my incompetence" in what? That's not clear.
3rd Para, 2nd to last line- "Being a first generation Korean-American, my parents preferred to talk". should be, "Being first generation Korean Americans, my parents..." or "As I am a first generation..."

4th Para, 1st line- Ineptness-> ineptitude
5th Para, 1st line- "Some say only a miracle will cure the mute; others say no matter what assistance, it is impossible". consider saying: "Some say only a miracle will cure the mute; others say it is unconditionally impossible."

I'm still procrastinating... friggin' UCs...
TimMill   
Nov 30, 2009
Undergraduate / writing poems + engineering studie - USC, short Essays [5]

Hey dude.

Yes, your essays are clear- like I said before, there are a few grammar points, (see my earlier post), but all in all the essays are direct and to the point.

The second one is better in that you address something specific about USC and something specific about your major in it. If you could tie writing into Aerospace Engineering Studies, and how that hobby benefits your major, that would make the first essay stronger.

Best of luck!
Tim
TimMill   
Nov 25, 2009
Undergraduate / USC: What is important? (500-700 chars) [8]

Hey Mario

I promise it's true... maybe you haven't seen the 17 year old turkish brides because they all go to Germany. Or maybe it was just one girl. I dunno, I've never been to Turkey. I'll take your word that it's not so common.

And thanks for the compliment, it's nice to know that you liked it. BUT I still need to know, does it fit the prompt? This is what I really want to know!
TimMill   
Nov 25, 2009
Undergraduate / Technology the way forward (UC Prompt 1) [2]

Watch your capitalization. Only the first word in every sentence and proper nouns should be capitalized- your first paragraph, you say "My dream is to trap E nergy from Li ghtning and use it to augment the shortage of E nergy in the W orld. I feel with rapid advancement in S cience and T echnology, my quest will see light of day. Thus grew my profound interest in technology in all aspects, especially in computers and its workings."

All the red is wrong. There's more, but start with that.

It's good writing, though! Just needs a little work.
TimMill   
Nov 25, 2009
Undergraduate / USC: What is important? (500-700 chars) [8]

Thanks EF_Susan and Kelsey, I'll clean that up... I still would love to hear someone's opinion, though (<--haha, I gotta stop that), on whether the essay fits the prompt. Anyone?
TimMill   
Nov 24, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Prompt; Repressed Memoir of My Past [24]

THIS IS A FUNNY THREAD. YOUR NAME IS FUNNY, LAUGHATMYNAME.

I toured UCSB and UCDavis (and UCLA and USBerkeley, but that doesn't matter). Anyway, UCSB does have a lovely campus- it's right on the water and very nice. I have a friend who goes there, he says there are a lot of parties but if you want to study, you can study and you can find people who also wish to.

UCDavis has London's ORIGINAL double decker bus! Reason enough to go there, I think.

Anyway, I hope that I don't violate rules by not commenting on the essay, but this is important stuff. Cheers to all!

Tim
TimMill   
Nov 24, 2009
Writing Feedback / Germany, Italy, France, Britain - The Amount Spent on Consumer Goods [5]

Okay, cool. So it sounds like you're not required to be creative or tactful, you just need to be descriptive and grammatically correct- with that in mind I can do some correcting.

The graph displays the amount of money that has been spent on six consumer goods in four different European countries. (This is a perfect description. It's not exciting, like for an essay, but for a descriptive text it's perfect.

Your English isn't bad, especially for a second language. Watch your usage of the word "for", and try to avoid informal conversational English. Hope this helped.

Cheers!
Tim
TimMill   
Nov 24, 2009
Undergraduate / activities, academic instersts - USC Short Answers [3]

Hey guys

I just wanted to get your opinion on these short answers- they're very straightforward. Is that okay? Do I need to get all fancy and creative with the short answers, or can I just answer them simply, like I have? Thanks.

In approximately one paragraph each, please answer the following questions:

Tell us about an activity that is important to you, and why. Please feel free to talk about an activity other than one you may have discussed in your essay.


By the late 18th century, the French philosopher Voltaire had said, "we must cultivate our garden". I take that advice to heart- this world, I think, is only as good as we make it.

Hence, I'm the community service guy. Whether it's getting the crew together for a night at the soup kitchen, rebuilding homes in New Orleans, tutoring music to the Middle School students, or leading an Eagle project involving 40 people and totaling more than 200 hours of work, if there's a service project in Lynnfield, chances are good I'm running it. My claim to fame, though, would be the Walk for Hunger- Team TRIX, the walk team I've led for the last six years, has had over 60 unique participants, raised over $16,000 for the hungry in Massachusetts, and been the source of hundreds of service hours for Lynnfield students. The 20-mile walk to benefit the hungry in Massachusetts is now an anticipated event in Lynnfield, despite the fact that six years ago only four of us had even heard of it. Most recently, I was able to recruit Lynnfield High School Tri-M Music Society and two jazz bands to play at the Walk for Hunger. What that meant was a ton of administrative homework and headaches- managing dozens of people and thousands of dollars, transporting teams and keeping everybody informed and updated, advertising the team, communicating with Walkers and Project administrators... there's a lot involved. Nonetheless, I'm rarely happier than when I know that I'm actively effecting change in this world.

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections.

I like numbers, I like equations, and I like facts. As a result, I love math and science. In math and science, things make sense- numbers verify themselves, equations actually equate, and facts don't change. More than that, though, math and science have immediate application- in designing the set for the school play for the last couple years, at some point or another I've used practically every geometry and trigonometry principle I've ever learned. Or for another example, basic chemistry and physics principles helped my friends and I perfect our potato cannon last summer.

At USC, I'm looking forward to not only to continue learning math and science, but also to using them. I'm happiest when I'm working, and the types of things that I'm drawn to inevitably involve math and science. Ultimately, I have three hopes of USC- first, to continue learning, particularly math and science, because I always find it fascinating the way that advanced concepts tie into the basic fundaments of the subjects. Next, I hope to continue using math and science daily, outside of classes, whether in building a loft bed in my dorm or perfecting the gardening conditions of the land outside. Finally, I hope to prepare myself for a career where I can continue to make numbers work for me, changing my life and the lives of those around me for the better.

Thanks guys! I don't think I need full corrections, but if something is wrong, please tell me... I just want to know if I need to make these more exciting or if they're fine. Thanks!
TimMill   
Nov 23, 2009
Writing Feedback / Germany, Italy, France, Britain - The Amount Spent on Consumer Goods [5]

Ruah.

I'd be happy to offer feedback, but first you must tell us what the prompt is- why are you writing this? Is it for an English class, a statistics class, or an economics class? What is the assignment? Also, a link to the graph might be nice, if it's online.

Cheers.
Tim
TimMill   
Nov 23, 2009
Writing Feedback / "Categories of Criminals" - Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay [5]

I agree with EFKevin- das geht nicht. doesn't work. period.

It's not enough space to develop what you want, and your conclusion- The only true culprit is society itself- isn't backed up by your essay. If that statement were true, why are so few people serial killers? we all live in society. The fathers, in these circumstances, are to blame.

This just isn't good material for a college app so short in my opinion, especially if you're not pursuing a major in ethics or criminal justice, or something like that. Either radically change it, or start over. Sorry man.
TimMill   
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / USC: What is important? (500-700 chars) [8]

Alright, so I'm fed up with writing essays, so I'm recycling an essay from another college, with a slightly different prompt. Yeah, I changed it a little, but now I have one question to ask you guys:

Do I answer the new prompt?

Here it is:

USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.

and here's the essay:

Diversity is important. Allow me to tell you a story.

It was not until I stopped speaking English that I began to think about the meanings of words; until I left the country that I realized what America stands for; until I understood nothing that I truly understood myself. Here, in a foreign country, speaking a strange language, and even living with a new family, I have realized that diversity is not something that can be simply defined-- as hard as we might try to visualize ourselves in somebody else's shoes, that picture will never be the same as what we see actually walking in them

I worked in a senior living home for almost three years, and I used to try to picture life from the residents' points of view. Quickly though, I realized the impossibility of what I was attempting- these people all had decades of experiences behind them, dozens of friends, and entire families- their lives were all entirely unique. Aside from being grouped under the same label of "senior", the residents had nothing in common. They had different likes and dislikes, they had different goals, and they even had different perceptions of the same events. It didn't take me the whole three years to realize that experience, not demographic groups, shapes how people think.

Why then, do we value diversity? If demographic groups are indefinable, why do we strive so hard to incorporate them? Simply put, the value of diversity is that a diverse group has collectively has more experiences and perspectives than a homogenous population. These experiences, though, are personal- being old doesn't make seniors valuable, the experiences that they have lived through makes them valuable. The same is true culture wise- coming from Colombia doesn't make somebody valuable, but the experiences and perspective gained from the Colombian way of life are invaluable.

This year, I'm living in Lübeck, Germany, as an exchange student and as an ambassador of the United States of America. Once again, I find myself among a world that I that I cannot completely comprehend. This time, though, I am the diversity- my American experiences are new here. From introducing quesadillas to giving input on global politics, I offer a new perspective here that adds to the cultural mix.

Diversity doesn't always reveal itself so quickly, though. For my first few weeks here in Germany, I was enrolled in a language camp at a local community college. Also in my class were two dozen other foreigners- there was the eighty-year old Russian couple, the Persian father and son, the seventeen-year old Turkish bride, the Jordanian schoolteacher, and more. By any traditional meaning, this group was the very definition of diversity. Without means of communication, though, that diversity remained untapped- any perception that we might have learned from each other was lost to in communication. Four weeks later, though, we could understand each other on a basic level. While the diversity of the group had not changed, it could only then be taken advantage of.

Language is only one part of unlocking diversity, though. Truly taking advantage of diversity requires language, but also a mutual willingness to learn and exchange. Only then can a person- or, in this case, college- truly reap the maximum benefits of diversity. This year in Germany, I am sharing, I am teaching, and I am learning. When I go back home in July, I'll be a new person- I'll have learned a new language, I'll have had a greater range of experiences, and I'll have gleaned some insight into a the mindset of another country. With a willingness to exchange, though, my experience with diversity doesn't end with the end of my year abroad- quite to the contrary, that's only the beginning. In college, and through the rest of my life, not only will I continue to learn through my own experiences and through communication with others, but I'll also offer my own unique perspective, enriched by my year abroad, to the world around me.

Of course, any corrections are also appreciated, or ideas on how to make it fit better to the prompt. Thanks guys!
TimMill   
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Not claustrophobic' - To my future roommate - Stanford Prompt [8]

kids kids kids... he didn't mean to say clubbing, he said what he meant: Cubing. You know, like he talked about for the whole middle paragraph? Rubiks Cube?

That being said, 26Matrices, you should keep in mind that with 400 bajillion essays to read adcoms may misread your final statement. Hopefully now, but something to keep in mind.

Also, why the heck were you solving rubiks cubes in front of your entire school while taped on a wall? Was it a fundraiser? That's very confusing, and may add more confusion than it does humor... think about it.

EDIT: On second thought, if you just didn't say "We could go cubing", it wouldn't sound so much like "we could go clubbing". Try, "we could cube together!"
TimMill   
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / an asian family -UC personal statement: Describe the world you come from [...] [4]

Hey Juniper Jumper

Your essay is good. It portrays you in a good light, past-academic wise, and it demonstrates your humanity.

You have three very distinct ideas, though, and they don't tie together too well. First, you've got your sister, then, your parent's merciless competitive drive, third, your speech and debate club. Your sister, especially, doesn't tie in with your essay, and you don't really clarify how she shaped you.

Also, you demonstrate that you have years of practice doing math problems and tons of schoolwork, but you don't truly demonstrate any personal will to succeed- how do the adcoms know that you wont stop working once your parents aren't there to force you?
TimMill   
Oct 6, 2009
Undergraduate / "That is intellectual exhaustion." - Stanford Short Essay: Intellectual Vitality [10]

If you saw a "big need for fixing", I can't my any means turn down the help, so please, go ahead and critique the other one as well.

I've started this one from scratch. I tried to rework it, but that didn't work, so I'm going back to square one. I'll make a new thread when that's done, because it doesn't fit in this one and it probably won't be until next week sometime- I'm going to Berlin this weekend for my SAT II's, and I'm studying all week.

Thanks again for all your help.
TimMill   
Oct 4, 2009
Undergraduate / "That is intellectual exhaustion." - Stanford Short Essay: Intellectual Vitality [10]

Hmm... I see what you mean, shahindian. I wouldn't ever do this if it were only this essay I was submitting, but it's along with two others, which are both written more traditionally. When it comes down to it, I'm working to put a feeling of exhaustion into the essay- can somebody tell me: is that working, or does it just come across as choppy and forced?
TimMill   
Oct 4, 2009
Undergraduate / He played the violin; The sound of music [11]

Hallo, you commented on my post (Letter to Roomie) so I figured I'd add my thoughts:

It's a good essay. I'm a musician too, so I know alot of what you're talking about. A few critiques and questions, though:

1. First line is cliched, but it works... I think. It's a toss up- if you can think of something better, change it, otherwise I think it's okay.

2. Overall the essay is wordy- if there were a greater word limit, that's fine- you chose good words. But working with only 500, I would cut some. For instance:

"How can one make such a beautiful string of harmonic resonance only through simple taps on metallic lines and repetitious sawing of the horse-haired bow?"

In that, 'string of harmonic resonance' is unnecessary- it could be replaced with something more concise and be equally good. Also, where are there metallic lines on a violin? If you mean the strings, that's not clear. Lines might not be the best word.

3. "My young love inspired to me to too prance my fingers away on the fingerboard and brush a bow against the string, and surprisingly, his inspiration has led to make me the violinist I am today."

'...inspired me to too' is weird. Change it. Also, you prance, or your fingers prance, but you don't prance your fingers. That's not how things work. And why is it surprising that love led to inspiration? Maybe a better transition word could help.

4. I became the perfectionist of intonation, the conquistador of emotion, and the pioneer of the power to manipulate the aura of atmosphere through music.

That's totally something I would write. I do stuff like that all the time. Keep the rhythm, but maybe change the word "conquistador", as it has a negative connotation and it doesn't really fit. Also, "the aura" is unneccesary- "the power to manipulate atmospheres with music" is fine. Or even drop atmosphere, and say mood, or something like that.

5. The crowds eyes should shine in the pitch black, not through it... but that's not very important, I guess that one is your choice. "Gulp of vitality" is awkward, though. Maybe reword the sentence: "I breathe deep, and suddenly the violin is an extension of my being, and we are united with one purpose: to make music." I like the rest of the second paragraph.

The third paragraph needs to be reworked. Remember the prompt: discuss experiences. As lovely as your narrative is, you only talk about one experience, and you do so sort of vaguely. Perhaps the name of the event, or some specific detail could make it more personal. Try not to get to theoretical- keep to things you've actually done and experienced.

I hope this helped! I always feel mean when I correct essays, because I'm very picky, but it really was good, it just needs a little work. Good luck!
TimMill   
Oct 4, 2009
Undergraduate / "I got a detention in third grade." Stanford Short: Letter to Roommate [12]

Thanks for all your help everyone. I think I'll tweak it a bit and call it a day. You're all quite flattering.'

The only thing I have to say is to Verily- yes, that could be totally true, and I thought about that. After thinking, though, I figured that the essay prompt isn't "How can you make your roommate like you?", and not everyone will like me, so I guess in the end this is more honest. I hope.

Anyway, thanks a lot!
TimMill   
Sep 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "I got a detention in third grade." Stanford Short: Letter to Roommate [12]

Hallo, I just finished this essay, and am looking for some critiques. Let me know what you think- what I'm most concerned about is whether I'm actually answering the prompt.

The prompt:

2. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your freshman year roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

The essay:

I'm the only kid I know who got a detention in third grade. See, we had these old crooked wooden desks, and pencil was always rolling off mine. So I drilled a hole in my desk. It made a great pencil holder, my pencil never escaped again, and it was very cool.

My teacher didn't think so, though. She said students weren't allowed to drill holes in their desks.

Since then, I've been optimizing everything. My environment, my projects, myself- if there is a way for me to make something better, I will find it. Recently, I designed a workshop and then led a team in building it in my school- we built a workbench, a lumber dock, shelves, and cabinets and turned a vacant attic space into a usable room.

Another thing: I'm compulsively obsessive- once I get an idea, it becomes the center of my life, and I'll spend countless hours working on it. Every year I manage my crew in engineering the sets for the school plays. Working with a crew means there are two things to optimize: first, the construction itself, and second, time usage. It's not uncommon for me to be working until the custodians close the school at eleven, and that sort of time commitment, along with my other activities- sports, music, homework, etcetera, can be a balancing act in itself. Because I'm so busy, I know first hand the importance of efficient time allocation.

What all this means for you, Mr. Roommate, is that we will have a fantastic dorm room. Our room will be a testament to room engineering and the perfect model of space maximization. It also means that you won't see much of me actually in the dorm- by the time I've finished optimizing it, I'll have moved on to my next project. That's good for you, because I do snore, but by the time I'm in the dorm and in bed you'll probably be fast asleep.

Let me know what you think, don't be nice!

Thanks!
TimMill   
Sep 30, 2009
Undergraduate / UT Essay Statement of Purpose (The Cosmic Number) [7]

Good. A few critiques:

"light years" either don't use the quotes or change the word, is cheesy as is.

"I have many enjoyable memories from the trip, but there is one moment that stands out which has greatly impacted my life."

App people don't care about the other memories... don't bother mentioning them.

"which is needed as an economics major." why is that? Give an example.

"I will use my leadership, responsibility, discipline, perseverance, and problem solving skills to better the community, peers, and myself. I have many goals and aspirations, including attending graduate school at McCombs School of Business. I believe that I would be a strong asset to the university."

This doesn't relate to your essay- it's fine, but out of place.

Good, just needs a little work!
TimMill   
Sep 30, 2009
Undergraduate / A Personal Statement- father's birthday [8]

"how I played soccer on the dinner table"

should be [b]at[b] the dinner table

"Face book: My friends stayed on the web everyday and their party never ended."
Facebook, not Face boook. Also, "their party never ended" is awkward.

There are a lot of small things like these- a lot. I know you're tired of revising, but this one needs a lot more work.

Also, wasn't you mum sleeping when dad said that it was his birthday?

A good theme, but needs work.
TimMill   
Sep 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "That is intellectual exhaustion." - Stanford Short Essay: Intellectual Vitality [10]

Hey guys, wondering if you could critique this:

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Here goes:

It is intellectual exhaustion that makes this essay so hard to write: intellectual exhaustion, the product of intellectual vitality. Intellectual exhaustion, the kind that is all encompassing and totally immersing. Intellectual exhaustion, the kind that makes the ordinary extraordinary, and the kind I know will change my life forever.

I am spending this year just outside of Lübeck, Germany. Here, everything I experience is something to learn. Here, all communication is a true challenge. Never having learned German before, here I build everything I know from the ground up. Here, I am not just experiencing something new- here, I am discovering a new world.

In yet another world, great Buddhist master Shunrya Suzuki wrote that "in the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few". For me, this is especially true: I am like a baby opening his eyes for the first time. I am the epitome of a beginner. My possibilities are infinite.

It is my nature to seize every possibility. And, with infinite possibilities, my plate is quickly full: I am in Germany only a week, and I am playing sports, and I am making music, and I am joining clubs. I am so busy that I hardly remember that I'm speaking another language- that is, until I come home absolutely, totally, utterly exhausted.

That is intellectual exhaustion.

Every day, that is my schedule, and I stick to it. I am here, I am pushing everything to its limit, and I know I will do so for the rest of the year. I know this, because this is who I am. I am striving for intellectual vitality. Intellectual vitality - discovering a new world, discovering it completely, and becoming a part of it. Intellectual vitality - going someplace I could never have imagined before. Intellectual vitality - vital to how I live my life.

Rip it to pieces and let me know what you think! Thanks.

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