Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Non-exam subject that should be compulsory in curriculum [2]

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, art-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many educationalists come with their new research on art influence in student academic improvement. Some say the compulsory subjects should not only depend on science and language but also arts might hold in these considerations to improve student academic performance. While it is true, I tend to argue there more likely to consider the reserve.

Obviously, school has been ruled to represent in compulsory subjects; language and science, and it is main subjects which should be taken examination in secondary school. However, there are some additional curriculum which are used to stimulate student activity such art, music, drama and craft.

Generally, language and science have a longer schedule than additional subjects, but most of students are prefer to do subjects that they are good at. Moreover, researchers believe that additional skill could encourage student interesting to improve their academic performance.

It is true that commonly, students are pleasure to do art or drama for a long time in school, because that subject might be their hobby or talent. Doing art or drama will attract their attention because they can play it together with other friends, and they could do experiment on their hobbies. But to do these subjects, school should prepare more time, and it means student will not focus on their main subject.

Accordingly, educationalists think that making additional subject to be compulsory subject is a must. I think it could be possible because improving talent in someone life could bring much exercise in their talent and it is better than only knowing a general knowledge.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: the benefits of technologies mobility outweigh the disadvantage [5]

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g at home, when traveling, etc)
Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantage?
According to Stave Jobs, the head of Apple Inc, from the last century, Apple had successes in the beginning of technology inventions which had begun from computer, mobile phone and internet connection. Apple said that to fulfill their customer request of their technology, they should have a great market around the world. Not surprisingly, new innovation which equates with individual enjoyment boosts new custom in human life. But, is there any demerit of this new custom? Without further ado, let us delve into this issue.

Admittedly, people have been high improvement of life quality since technology influenced human's lifestyle. Some complicated works could be done in a short time because of technology. Not only time but also range is one of the easiest things to reach by internet connection. Distance has been a remarkable thing of internet.

Internet connection has been well-known of its range flexibility. Nowadays, students could reveal theories freely, and they also could do long distance learning by using internet. For students, internet takes a huge part to help them learning much, and it is an economically thing to get.

Moreover, worker or entrepreneur also feels the same way. They could do some complicated calculation, meeting, monitoring, or playing game together from different place because of internet. It is because internet provides ability to reach a very long distance. No matter where they are, whatever they do, as long as there is an internet connection and technology devices, people could finish works easily. However, this perfect quality also could reduce the quality of family or friendship.

Clearly, indeed people spend much time to do plenty things from internet, but I believe that technology made our lives easier, and it changes our attitude towards life. I also think with the invention of computers people became closer and friendlier. I deliberate that managing time to meet face-to-face should do to recover relationship sometime.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Information Technology in Human's Life [7]

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Throughout 21st century, the advance technology has raised people custom globally. As a result, the range of activities which are using technology as a means of communication has existed everywhere. Without further ado, let's discuss this issue.

According to the communication statistic, means of communication: smart phone, computer and internet connection are the favorable things in society recently. It is because information technology appears a helper device in human activities to keep it updated. As such, the merits of the scheme outweigh the demerits.

Some people have been using computer to help their daily works, and they could be worked it faster than old fashion. For example, the owner who has a restaurant needs to calculate income and his expenditure per day. Calculating with handwriting everyday will spend a lot of time, but counting by computer only takes a short time. However, it means the owner has to spending some money to buy computer, then learn its update knowledge to work with.

In long term, numbers of people are likely to be curious about how to use computer or smart phone because its popularity which could help also entertains in many aspects: school, office, friendship, or society. But without doubt, people have been time-consuming in front of computer or gadget recently, and it successes providing a trigger of unhealthy custom, because people will forget to work out.

There are the merits of using technology in school and workplace. The internet is an invaluable resource and experience for students all of ages, and internet provides ability to reach a very long distance. Those abilities able to reduce must time which should be prepared to do calculating, sending a letter, or delivery order. With only one click in computer or smart phone combined with internet connection anything could be done in time.

Clearly, while these drawbacks: "spending money" and "time-consuming" could increase human problem of health such as overweight, but we cannot achieve satisfaction result without computer, internet connection or gadget doing a part to finish some complicated jobs in daily activity. I deliberated that prior way and time using of technology could decrease demerits.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: First Year Assessments [3]

Complete the gaps in the summary below of this graph using a comparative or superlative form of the words in brackets.
The given is the chart comparing the percentage of student in-depth quality from different disciplines in the first year assessment during 4 years, between 2008 and 2012.

Overall, the highest number of Computer Science passed by far the highest in both years. Thus the gap between Computer Science and Humanities had overlooked extremely wide.

Let us take a close look at the table. Computer Science leads the percentages over 70% and 80% in 2008 and 2012, while Math and Engineering reached the second highest scores in 2012. On the other hand, the Health Science experienced the most stable pass rates at just over 40% in 2008 or 2012.

The most marked for studying Business, 2008 pass rates in Business, Science, and Maths and Engineering were substantially lower in 2008 than in 2012, which means that the greatest level of growth rate tend to these disciplines better than Humanities which stands at just under 10% in 2008 and approximately 20% in 2012.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; Britons fast food [4]

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The bar chart shows the changes in weekly spending by Britons on three types of keen on foods: Hamburger, Fish & Chips and Pizza, while the line graph presents the fast-food consumption during a period of 20 years, between 1970 and 1990.

According to the data, high-income and average people are likely to consume Hamburger, presented over forty-two pence per week. However, In the case of low-income people, the expenditure on Pizza as favorable food is 8 pence.

A more detailed look at the line graph shows both Hamburgers and Pizza rose steady from the first ten-period, where Hamburger had over twice as high as Pizza recording 270 grammes while Fish and Chips declined slightly from 300 to nearly 200 grammes. In contrast to the two types of fast food, by 1985 Fish and Chips remained reasonable steady, and continued to rise slightly to 270 grammes towards the end of the period.

If we analyze the data, we can see from the first graph Hamburgers were approximately two times popular than Pizza which was slightly greater than Fish and Chips. In the second graph, Hamburgers again lead Pizza which was slightly larger than Fish and Chips which were the reserve in over 20 years.