Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: IS IT DIFFICULT TO BE HEALTH? [2]

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IN THE MODERN WORLD IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. OTHERS, HOWEVER, SAY THAT IT IS EASY FOR PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY AND FIT IF THEY WANT TO BE

DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

It is generally assumed that in this sophisticated era, it is quite arduous to keep hale and healthy due to many factors. However some others argue that basically obtaining a healthy lifestyle is not difficult if there is a desire. In my opinion, every single person has to add healthy habit in their routine, although they are lack of time to do it.

In this day and age, a great deal of time due to busy on duty has made the risky lifestyles becoming more and more popular among the citizens. In my opinion, this problem is the common obstacle for several people who work in a mega city. For instance, many full-time workers in a big city such as in Jakarta have to work in office from early morning to virtually evening and do not have much leisure time to do healthy life routine such as sport. In addition, another factor that is possible to promote an unhealthy lifestyle is the high frequency in consuming junk food which is regarded resistant to cause many diseases. This phenomenon happens as well to the citizen of the city mentioned earlier. The spread of junk food shops in that area has tempted the busy communities to obtain instant meals.

On the other hand, every single human is actually possible to gain a healthy manner of life. I strongly believe that the willingness is the predominant key to obtain this perfect lifestyle. Take a sample for busy worker, they can use bicycle to go to work. Beside it is a simple way to keep fit, they actually have taken a part to reduce the traffic congestion and climate change. And with regard to consume healthy food, they can look for an organic food in shop or as adequate as possible they cook for themselves.

To conclude, in spite of some factors in the modern world counteracting people to have a healthy life manner, I extremely believe a strong willingness to do an effort like the examples I provided previously can evade that assumption.

Writing Feedback / IMMIGRANT'S PROBLEM WHEN LIVING ABROAD [2]

A breakdown of the level of three different predominant problems which are witnessed by individuals who decided to live overseas and measured in percentage is provided in a bar chart. At first glance it is obvious that, looking school for children is the lowest problem for the new settlers. In any case, finance is the big matter for most young people, while for immigrants aged 35 or over experience sanitary as the greatest obstacle.

With regard to children education, individuals' age between 35-54 face the obstacle to bring their children to school at approximately 18%, while for the youngest and the oldest categories experience this trouble at 6% and 2% respectively.

Turning to finance problem, at almost 34% people aged between 18 and 34 assert this complication when reside in another country, while for older migrants who aged 35 to 54 experience by 2% compared with the youngest age category. However, sorting out funds is not the main problem for the oldest people who find monetary problem fewer than 30%. On the other hand, the percentage of healthcare problem people aged 35 to 54 and over 54 reach 36% and 37% consecutively, while for the youngest age group is just under 35%.

• 
  12509211_11978050435.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : DISCOVERERS ARE AS CRUCIAL TO COMMUNITY AS PARA MEDICS [NEW]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors.
To what extent do you agree whit this statement?

It is assumed that doctors have a bigger influence to locals rather than investors. In my opinion, even though there is no doubt that doctors have an essential role in society especially in salvaging locals' lives from many diseases, I strongly believe that discoverers basically bring more considerable changes in many course to the human civilizations.

For centuries, public's health and sanitation have become more and more better thanks to the para medics mainly the doctors. Many people even assume that the doctors as a hero, since they have cured and saved humans lives from lots of maladies. For instance, in many hinterlands or villages in Indonesia, a doctor's existence is suchlike a God hand who can give an aid sincerely when the locals are getting sick. Lots of inhabitants recover from their illness due to the doctors' aid. As a result, the citizens are more and more need the presence of para medicines among their environment.

Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that most of doctors' successful and ease of human lives in general are essentially helped by many new inventions of technologies and sciences because of the discoverers. Since centuries, there have been so many inventions which are used to improve the quality of humans' life. The lamp discovery by Thomas Alfa Edison is just the plain sample invention which has changed the human civilization becoming brighter. Furthermore, in this present, the spread of advanced technologies have made human activity becoming easier. For instance, the internet as the most significant invention in this modern era provides the abundance of references and information which are really crucial in knowledge expansion. Finally, all of these unmatched benefits can human enjoy due to the inventors' merit.

In conclusion, although para medics like the doctors have a vital role in a community, I am extremely disagree of the statement that said that discoverers role are not as essential as the doctors in society, since there have been many evidences that make human life become better thanks to the inventors' discoveries.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : THE INTERNATIONAL SALE of FUEL-ELECTRICITY CONVEYANCE [2]

A breakdown of the level of the international sale of fuel-electricity transportation in different regions around the world during 2006 to 2009, a 3-year period is illustrated in a bar chart. At the firs glance it is obvious that the selling count in the end of period improved as many as twice from the start of year. In any case, whilst there was a fluctuation in products' trade rate in United States, the level of hybrid transport trade in Japan and the other countries increase considerably during the time frame.

To begin, in 2006, the trade rate of hybrid transport in Japan stood at over 50 thousands; likewise, the other regions, exclude US, sold approximately 50 thousands fuel-electricity conveyance. Interestingly, the product commerce in Japan increased gradually until 2008, with in 2009 the rate reaching a high of over three fold from the previous year, while 2006 until 2009 in other areas witnessed a slight improvement in the trading rate of hybrid conveyance.

Turning to the sale rate of fuel-electricity conveyance in United States, 2007 experienced a peak of 350 thousands and it was the highest commerce rate during the period. Although there was a consider fall in 2008, the product sale increased again by approximately 10,000 in the following year.

• 
  index.jpg
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : MUSEUMS VISITORS IN LONDON (measured in thousands) [3]

The line chart figures the level of guests in three different museums in London during June to September 2-13 and is measured in thousands. Overall, the number of people going to British and Science Museum increased gradually, while visitors from Natural History showed the reverse. In any case, British Museum was the most popular attractions among all museums.

To begin, the level of guest in British Museum stood at 600,000 in June 2013 and reached a peak of approximately 750,000 in July. However, in August 2013, there was a dramatic decline to 500 thousands. Through September witnessed a significant improvement in the number of visitors.

Moving to the other museums, the number of people who visited Science and Natural History Museum started at just over 500 thousands and 400 thousands respectively. Subsequently, there was a gradual decrease in the rate of visitors in the following two months. However, August experienced a steady rise to just over 400,000 in the number of guests

• 
  LINE_CHART.png
  

Writing Feedback / 'tiger and the rhino' - IELTS TASK 2: THREAT OF WILDLIFE HABITAT [2]

WRITING TASK 2
Animal habitats have been destroyed, and some animal species (e.g. the tiger and the rhino) have become endangered.
Why does this happen?
What can be done to protect endangered animals?

It is true that these days and ages, wild animals' existence become more and more threatened. Even several creatures have stated near extinction such as Orang-utan and Ranggong Bird in Borneo. In my opinion, the improvement of human demography is one of the predominant factors which have led to decrease of the animal's natural habitat. However, I do believe that divesting the animals in their natural habitat and collaboration between governments and local will be the best ways to protect fauna from extinction.

For centuries, it cannot be circumvented that human civilization has changed world in many ways, belonging to threaten the wildlife's existence. Locals continuously cut down forests for residence purposes and many companies perpetrate deforestation illegally instead, with converting forests to palm-oil plantations. For instance, as per Indonesian Ministry of Environment and Forestry records that at least 1,1 billion hectares or 2% of Indonesia's forests decline dramatically in each year. Consequently, lots of species such as Orang-utans and Ranggong Bird are at an alarming rate due to the reason that their natural habitats have sabotaged.

Nevertheless, there are potential ways to solve these problems or preserve endangered animals from extinction. Firstly, the government needs to cooperate with international organizations such as the United Nations to establish a preservation programs toward scarce animals and prosecute the perpetrators-illegal logger and - as well. Also, individuals can take a part to protect their natural balance by ceasing to hunt the endangered species. In addition, every people should consider the impact on the wildlife habitat, when they want to build a residence. Finally, Wildlife must have places to find food, shelter and raise their young to still survive. Endangered species habitat should be protected and these impacts minimized.

In conclusion, human activities consciously have triggered defacement of fauna habitat. However, if all elements can take part in protecting the animals' natural life, I strongly believe that entire communities of animals will be everlasting.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Human Cannot Live Without Internet - cyber addiction and cyber-crime danger [2]

It is true that internet has been the incredible innovation over recent decades. Most individuals have a thought that the net has led to substantial change in people's lives in many ways. While I strongly believe that human lives would be different without the net, drawbacks such as cyber addictive and cyber-crime should be taken into account.

There is no doubt that human lives become easier thanks to the internet. The expanding of the online network is a positive development since everyone can easily access to the abundance information. A good example of this is like in Indonesia, almost all entrepreneurs such as from batik fabric enterprise utilize cyber site to promote and advertise their product worldwide. Consequently, the people over the world can discern an Indonesian batik product and it also reduces the advertisement costs. Furthermore, the references and helps which are provided on the net are really useful for many professions such as students for finishing their assignment. All in all, Internet has becomes an unavoidable technology that unmatched for most people in modern era.

On the other hand, it must be admitted that the spread of the net brings drawback for human life as well. A recent study reveals that virtually all netizen users become more and more addict and spend time for hours by surfing on the web. As a result, most of netizen become unhealthy as has affected by radiation of the computer or smartphone that they utilize. Moreover, in many cases, many individuals tend to socialize on the virtual world rather than their real world.

To sum up, Internet indeed has become an inevitable for human life at these days and ages. Personally, I extremely agree that human life will be complicated and totally different without the online network. However, it is also crucial that the net bestows negative effect in human civilization. Therefore, every single person should utilize internet wisely.

Writing Feedback / Is a perfect job the main factor of happiness? IELTS TASK 2 [2]

Some people say that in order to be happy you must have a job you love doing. Others say that other factors are more important.

Do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy?

It is assumed that doing an occupation which is related to personal passion is the best course to obtain happiness in life while some individuals think that there are many more reasons which lead to human pleasures. In my opinion, even though carrying out a comfortable work is truly pleasant, I strongly believe that gaining blissfulness is not only due to doing what we love, but basically it depends on respective personal.

There is no doubt that procuring an enjoyable job can make people happy. It is because carrying out a job which is linear with self-hobby is suchlike double pleasures. Take the photographers as an example, basically most them absolutely has a passion on taking a picture and when they have a job as a photographer, they can earn salary as well. As a result, their quality of life is more and more advance. It cannot be circumvented that having a comforting work is a real happiness in life.

Nevertheless, having an enjoyable job is not the only reason that can lead to blissfulness, since different person generally has a different contentment. Firstly, obtaining enough love and care from close relatives are the immensely pleasant and unmatched for lots of individuals, as to be part and parcel, love and care are support for every single person for still life. In addition, several people also have a thought that happiness is when they get a chance to go on vacation. Virtually, holiday is the best moment to have fun, unscrew the burden and enjoy the life as well. There are, therefore, so many things that can make person happy.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that in spite of having an enjoyable work can make people be joyful, I presume that every single person can be happy in many ways which depends on their perspective and desire.