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Posts by EF_Sean
Name: Writer
Joined: Dec 9, 2008
Last Post: Oct 30, 2009
Threads: 6
Posts: 3460  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 3466 / page 69 of 87
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EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Research Papers / Starting Research Paper (Kring's "Heroes") [19]

Well, in that case, as long as you make it clear that you understand the time scales involved, you should be okay. Good luck, and I look forward to reading the completed draft if you post it here.
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Undergraduate / How is school meeting your needs? Columbia transfer essay. [14]

Perhaps the permanence of threads should be mentioned somewhere a bit more prominently on the site. I notice that students often seem to miss the fact that the threads will not be deleted when they are finished with them. Possibly this has to do with the fact that virtually no one actually reads TOS agreements for websites and software programs?
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Essays / Starting Huckleberry Finn! [12]

You could also look at what the widow means by "civilize." Being "civilized" in that sense seems to involving giving up a lot of personal freedom, as well as making a decision to accept many of the social norms promulgated by grown-ups. Perhaps this is not such a good thing in a racist society?
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Grammar, Usage / Confused with MLA format and in text citations! [19]

I had the opposite problem, where people would send me .docx files created in 2007 but I wouldn't be able to open them in 2003. Eventually I downloaded a conversion program from Microsoft that let me open Word 2007 files in Word 2003. I think its always good to wait a year or two before getting the latest software, so that the company that produces it has time to fix all of the bugs and compatibility issues.

With Office 2007, I've only really tried Word out so far, and really it isn't that different from 2003 (when were the Office versions ever that different from each other?), but I like the new layout, and it has a few new features that are really useful. The citation feature, of course, but it also allows you to make "match destination formatting" the default when pasting. Also, you can redefine the shortcut for overtype so that you don't accidentally activate it when you hit "insert" instead of delete. I believe you could do this in 2003, too, but it is easier and more intuitive in 2007.
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Undergraduate / LITERATURE TO MEDICINE; UT at Austin - TRANSFER (SOP) [14]

Yeah, the essay seems solid as it stands. Really, saving someone's life versus free snacks -- it would be difficult to segue from one topic to the other while maintaining serious tone.
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Research Papers / Help with Religion Assignment? [10]

You can probably find websites that will tell you how the Gospels differ from one another. Start by looking at those differences to see how Mark's portrayal of Jesus is unique.
EF_Sean   
Feb 21, 2009
Grammar, Usage / Confused with MLA format and in text citations! [19]

I just upgraded to Office 2007 and it has a wonderful "Insert Citation" feature. It will automatically format the in-text citation to MLA, APA, Chicago and a bunch of others. You can download Harvard and other extra formats too. And when you are finished with your essay, you can insert the entire bibliography at the end, correctly formatted and everything! I'm really impressed with Office 2007, and which I had upgraded from 2003 a couple of years ago.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Essays / Starting Huckleberry Finn! [12]

The problem of race in America is so enduring because of the legacy of slavery. Blacks start out primarily as slaves, especially in the South. They are freed after the Civil War. However, they are not freed on principle. On the contrary, the man who frees them, Abraham Lincoln, is convinced that blacks are inferior to whites, and probably shouldn't be allowed to govern themselves. He frees them mainly to punish the Southern states for their attempt at secession, hoping to break their economic system so badly they will never again be able to try to break away from the Union. This leaves the blacks technically free, but with no land, education, or capital of any sort. They are despised in the South, and widely held in contempt in the North. Racist laws are passed that ensure blacks, especially in South, will not be able to work their way out of their second class status no matter how hard they try. Though the North is much better in this regard, racist attitudes there operate to have much the same effect as the South's Jim Crow laws. This lasts for a hundred years, almost exactly, before Martin Luther King Jr's civil rights campaign succeeds in putting an end to legalized racism. However, the black population continues to suffer from endemic levels of poverty and low education. Poverty, of course, breeds crime. Blacks living in inner city ghettos therefore tend to be overrepresented in the criminal system. Whites living in nearby areas begin to associate blacks with violence and crime. So too do many blacks. This problem is made worse by the fact that a black counter-culture arises that explicitly rejects middle class values. These are the values that allow people to succeed economically and socially. So, the white middle class is unaffected, but the poor black communities become mired in a never-ending cycle of poverty. There are exceptions to the rule, though. Some blacks do become successful, and these begin to form a black middle-class whose members are often view as not being really black by inner city blacks, who have defined their identity in the most negative possible terms.

This brings us pretty much up to where America stands now. Blacks can and do vote in American elections. Obama is black, and comes from a low-income background. But he is in fact only half-black, and not descended in any way from African slaves. His values are those of a Harvard-educated liberal, and as such are not particularly "black." While the black community naturally supports and welcomes the election of a black president, it does not by-and-large view his election as solving any of its problems or addressing any of its grievances. A great many blacks in America still believe that racism holds them back, and that they are still suffering from the legacy of slavery. This is entirely reasonable.

The white population, in the mean time, does not by and large think of themselves in racial terms, because they don't have to. The vast majority of whites in America do not actively engage in racism, and would claim, quite honestly, that race does not consciously factor into their decisions about who to hire, who to be friends with, etc. They often resent being made to feel guilty for something previous generations did, and cannot understand why the black community continues to present itself as a victim in an Obama era. They believe in the concept of merit, regardless of race, and ask themselves, entirely reasonably, why blacks can't just accept that America has become what they wanted it to be, which, from a white perspective, it more or less has.

So, racial issues are alive and well in America today, and Huck Finn is a great book that explores the roots of those issues. You might ask yourself if any of the ways in which the characters overcome their racial differences might be useful methods of tackling today's racial issues.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Research Papers / Starting Research Paper (Kring's "Heroes") [19]

Evolution takes place in slow, gradual steps. Read The Blind Watchmaker, by Richard Dawkins, for a really good explanation of why this is so. It takes place over many, many generations (and each generation takes around twenty years). So, having a regular person, or the son of a regular person, suddenly wake up with the ability to levitate, or shoot lightning out of their hands, or regenerate lost limbs, is not possible under Darwin's theory. Certainly, humans could, over a very, very long period of time, develop the ability to deliver electric shocks (electric eels have this ability) or to regrow lost limbs (as certain amphibians and reptiles can) but it would take millions of years for any of these abilities to manifest themselves through natural evolution. Also, natural selection selects for variations that help people to survive. How does the ability to teleport, levitate, or regenerate help us to deal with hunger, disease, or, for that matter, climate change? Perhaps you need to study the theory of evolution in more detail before coming up with your thesis . . . sorry.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Dissertations / Thesis (six thousand words in six days) - art college [20]

6000 words in five days . . . that's four pages a day. Assuming it takes no more than an hour to write a page (and I know from personal experience that it is possible to write a page in anywhere from fifteen minutes to half-an-hour, if needs be), that's only four hours of work a day. Admittedly, if you have other work to do, that can be inconvenient, but it shouldn't be overwhelming. Now, if you still haven't got a few pages out of the way, and still have 6000 words to write in two days, you're going to have start on the energy drinks and coffee. :-)

If you haven't done that to yourself, though, and have some pages done, feel free to post them here. You'll get some proofreading and editing done for you while you're working on the other sections!
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Research Papers / Help with Religion Assignment? [10]

Read Mark's Gospel. You really should be able to find something in there that you can use to talk about how he presents Jesus (f).
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Book Reports / Thesis from a paragraph of "King Lear" [5]

love, deceit, blindness . . .

Okay, these are all "themes" in Lear in the sense that Shakespeare is using the play to say something about each of them. But what is it he is saying about them? And how do these messages connect to one another? Answer these questions, and you will be well on your way to having a good thesis statement.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Research Papers / Starting Research Paper (Kring's "Heroes") [19]

You are suffering from the fact that your thesis is wrong. Charles Darwin's theory absolutely does not allow for the development of supernatural abilities. At all. Period. It certainly doesn't allow for the abilities in Heroes, as good as that show is, and in spite of the ostensible theory woven into the mythology of the show about a key genetic marker underlying those abilities. If you really want to write about Charles Darwin, why don't you write about how his theory affected literature in the Victorian and Modern periods. The Time Machine, for instance, shows how humans might evolve over time into two separate species. Most of Charles Dickens work is a rejection of the ideas of the social Darwinists, who believed taht the poor shoudl be allowed to perish for the good of the human race. And so on.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Research Papers / Thesis Statement for global warming research paper [17]

Most of the perennial controversial issues people write about in school have be done to death -- that's why they're perennial. Gun control, abortion, euthanasia, racial profiling, global warming, health care, death penalty, gay marriage etc. There is no way to ever truly resolve these issues because the stances people take in them are rooted in conflicting values and worldviews that each have a certain amount of validity. The point of writing on these topics is not to come up with the "correct" viewpoint, but rather to do research that gives you familiarity with the various viewpoints and the arguments for them, so that you can understand where everyone is coming from and articulate your own position coherently.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Dissertations / Lit Review: How do I show I've critically analysed the studies I've read? [11]

Your logic seems okay from your second post. The only suggestion I have is that, in addition to saying what condition the people are not suffering from (BPD), you say what it is that you think that they are suffering from. Really, if the people meet all of the criteria for BPD, then that's what they have. It may not be a true PD, in the sense that they can be successfully treated, in a way that PDs apparently can't be, but this is a matter of semantics, and could presumably be fixed merely by renaming BPD to, say BPS (Borderline Personality Syndrome). I'm guessing syndromes, unlike disorders, can be treated, but if not, you could simply substitute some other term that would work. Hopefully you can show that a diagnosis of BPD is currently correlated with a lack of treatment (on the grounds PDs can't be treated). That way, your push to show that BPD can be treated and therefore isn't a PD at all serves a serious medical purpose. Good luck.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Essays / Reality TV essay - ideas to begin writing [35]

Well, this could easily turn into a whole new discussion. I think I'm going to go ahead and close this thread. Hopefully it helped the original author, but it seems to have fulfilled its purpose.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Hartford (future businesswoman) [11]

Was the space before the commas deliberate? I thought it was some sort of formatting bug from copying and pasting. But if it was deliberate, then Kevin is right -- you should definitely not add the extra spaces.
EF_Sean   
Feb 20, 2009
Undergraduate / PSEOP Admission Essay - post secondary essay (every ounce I have) [8]

"I can prepare myself for the college atmosphere, respect and responsibility needed, how to manage the increase of difficulty in work, and to get a head start into the college life, that I will continue to be involved in for the next eight years post-graduation." Revise for parallel structure.

"I was also planning on taking a few more writing or English classes to help me improve my writing and grammar skills to the best of my ability."

"and have not had any disciplinary actions taken against me." You can omit this. One more or less assumes this, if there are no notes in your records indicating otherwise.
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Book Reports / The Pearl Johnsteinbeck (thesis statement) [9]

The pearl in the book of the same name represents the corrosive effect of greed on human relationships.

Go to the library. Search for articles on The Pearl in academic journals .
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Essays / Starting Huckleberry Finn! [12]

I don't think the book was banned because it criticized racism (though it does do that). However, the book also portrays American society in the 1800s fairly realistically in many respects, which includes showing racist attitudes that are held even by many of the good characters in the novel. For instance, Huck repeatedly refers to the black people he knows as niggers, as in "By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers," something that could easily be offensive, especially to black children reading the book without knowing its historical context. Likewise, Jim is often portrayed as ignorant and superstitious, a condition for which he is not to blame but that could still easily be taken as racist portrayal of him.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a lot of Huck Finn is satire. It criticizes the institution of slavery and the evils of racism, but it does so by portraying that racism very realistically, through the eyes of child who doesn't know any better than to accept what society has taught him. A critical, thoughtful reader will see the satire, and realize when the attitudes described are being mocked, but a careless or uneducated reader could easily view the book as defending or promulgating those attitudes. That in turn, is likely to offend the reader.

Satire often has this problem. I once taught a class in which the students read "A Modest Proposal." Every single one of them was disgusted by the fact that Swift was seriously suggesting infantiphagia as an solution to poverty! Of course, the whole point is that Swift isn't being serious, but if you don't get the irony, you are likely to be greatly offended.

Hope this helps.
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / Help rewriting Lead paragraph and Conclusion - Computer History Paper [12]

History is definite? Really? You can't find any example of disagreements among historians on any topic whatsoever? Lol! Everything in history is debatable. People still argue about whether FDRs New Deal pulled America out of the Depression or merely prolonged it by a decade, and that still in living memory for some people. Discussing how computers have shaped our lives is bound to include ideas that will provoke strong disagreement. For instance, as computer software developed, it allowed factories to use machines to replace workers. Some at the time predicted a golden age in which no one had to work, or in which everyone worked only 15 hours a day. Others predicted 30% unemployment leading to revolution and anarchy. Why did neither of these things happen? Computers were supposed to lead to a paperless society -- why then are so many offices awash in paper? Bill Gates predicted that no one would ever need more that 64k of memory. Why was he wrong? And so on. In answering any of these questions, you will come up with statement that could be used as a thesis for an essay.
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Essays / Being Me is Special - Essay Help [8]

A modal sample: "Being me often involves feeling depressed, especially when I try to get others to do my work for me and they refuse."

Now, if you had asked for a model sample, instead, then I would have had to refuse, on the grounds that would be doing the assignment for you instead of helping you to write it. Glad you only asked for a modal sample so I could give you one!
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Research Papers / Research paper on Commercials on TV (ideas). [12]

Or, better yet, compare junk food ads aired during kids shows with those aired during prime time with those aired during the night. What do the differences in these ads tell you about how the companies are targeting different age groups?
EF_Sean   
Feb 19, 2009
Undergraduate / I longed to do a Sport Management Major; UT Austin- SOP [6]

"It's not about meeting their word count restrictions. It's about efficiency!" Exactly! It's about developing a concise style that keeps the reader interested. If you find that after revision, you have room to write more, you can add in more specific details to illustrate your points, or expand on some of your ideas that you feel need more development. But don't just write to fill up space. Say what you want to say as well as you know how to say it, then stop. If you do that, the admissions officers will be grateful, whatever the length is.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / Critic my "Education" essay [3]

Start by defining your key terms. In this case, start by explaining what you understand by the term "education". Until you, and your readers, know what you mean by the word 'education,' how can you say anything about it with confidence? Once you have a solid grasp of what education is, you should be able to come up with a stronger thesis and better focus your essay.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Undergraduate / I longed to do a Sport Management Major; UT Austin- SOP [6]

Say everything you have said here, but do so in about half the word count, and you'll have a strong essay.

You can start by cutting out sentences such as these:

"Since I am trying to transfer, I would like to describe my academic background that I have experienced so far. " The admissions officers know that they are reading an admissions essay.

"I know that people write these Statement's of Purpose for many similar reasons, but I want this to show to whoever reads this that this one is different. " Then show that. Otherwise, why mention it?
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Hartford (future businesswoman) [11]

You need to polish the style and grammar a bit:

"My grades have always been impressive and I've always had a set of academic goals for myself; other than that I still didn't know what I wanted to do for my career."

"I was blind to see that this was right in front of me eyes the entire time." Wordy with ambiguous referent. Revise.

"prepare myself for the upcoming . . ." complete your sentences.

"Besides my interest and talent I also have strengths, which are in mathematics. I consider this to be as one of my strengths because of the challenges. It's the only subject in school that motivates me to work harder and continue trying. As far as not giving up I consider choosing to take accounting as a minor." This appears to be trying to say that you are good at math and would like to take accounting as a minor, something which would benefit you if you went into business for yourself. If that is what you are trying to say, then that is what you should actually say. Currently the wording is too confusing.

"My purpose and goal in attending college is to make something of my life." Way too general, here. After all, you could become a drug addict, rob a corner store, and go to jail, and you would still have made something of your life. That something would be a mess, but it would still be something. Try to be more specific about your goals.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / wording problems in a paragraph [6]

I originally meant to write "not get what I want," and have edited my original post to reflect that. Kevin's revisions work well, though, and are even more concise.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Dissertations / Lit Review: How do I show I've critically analysed the studies I've read? [11]

BPD? Borderline Personality Disorder? Bipolar Disorder? I can think of a couple of things that particular acronym could stand for. In any event, your first step would be to decide whether or not you believe BPD is a valid psychological disorder. If not, your thesis is pointless, since anyone who is diagnosed with BPD must then be being misdiagnosed, so your thesis then becomes merely that people who have suffered from sexual abuse are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than people who have not, which is something that a quick empirical review of patient files would confirm or deny. If you do believe that it is a valid psychological disorder, then you are going to have to come up with criteria that allow you to measure its validity, in order to determine when a person has been properly diagnosed and when a person has been misdiagnosed (so you have some basis for claiming that those who have been sexually abused have been misdiagnosed as having BPD, rather than as having actually developed BPD). So, to critically analyze the literature, you would look at how BPD has been defined and the various ways it can be diagnosed, and say which ones you think are valid and why.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Grammar, Usage / Confused with MLA format and in text citations! [19]

Your formula only applies to books. It doesn't work if the student is quoting a website (where the name of the author might not be known) or even an article in an anthology, which requires you to know where to put the names of the editors, the volume, the edition, and so on. Also, the conventions can be confusing. For instance, should you underline the title of a book, or italicize it? The guide normally says to underline, but underlining is only done to indicate that something should be italicized (from the days when typewriters could underline but not italicize) so some argue you should never underline in a modern word processor -- you should italicize instead. But not everyone knows this, so some people think italicizing is wrong. Even basic information, like place of publication and copyright date, can be difficult to pin down, since many front pages list up to a dozen different copyrights dates, and, in the case of international publishers, three or four office locations. This makes learning how to cite even a straightforward source in one system difficult, much less mastering all of them if you have to switch between them for different classes, which can happen for double majors.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / Analysis of an Art Piece, Creativity of Re-Use essay [3]

Start with a thesis, namely, what you think Brothe's sculpture is trying to accomplish. What does the work mean? Then, ask yourself how the various elements of the work generate this meaning. You do this to a certain extent in the last paragraph, but really you should start doing this a lot sooner in your essay, and in much greater detail.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Essays / Being Me is Special - Essay Help [8]

You could have some fun using definitions of special that probably weren't intended. So, you could claim that being you is special the way that specials are special. That is, you are only a temporary being. You will have to be able to write well to pull off such an essay, though.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Essays / How to Implement Character Education essay? [7]

I took it as referring to the educational approach, but that may be because I wikipedia-ed it rather than googling it, as it seemed like a specific term rather than a general category.
EF_Sean   
Feb 18, 2009
Essays / Hamlet thesis - Gertrude's actions influencing Hamlet [4]

You might even start by simply listing key quotations from Gertrude and Hamlet, and then see how you think you would order them to make sense of them. Then ask yourself why you picked that particular order. This might lead you to a thesis-like conclusion.

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