Writing Feedback / Which is more important family or friend [6]

inappropriate comparison

hello everyone my name is phương I from 11A , today I'm standing here with an interesting topic " family and friends which is more important " . In my opinion , it's difficult to compare family and friends. It sound inapproriate .

Fristly. Family is our origin, we have our frist breath in the family . They teach us about simplest things in the world such us : how to wear clothes, how to eat , drink .Though your thinking might differ from your family, they still are your family and love you as much as always. Family will stay with you even in the hardest of times when all have given up on you. Friends may be your friends for a reason, your family will always be your family without any reason

Besides , we have more things in common with friends - this is because they usually are the same age as us and they all like doing the same things. I mean, I could not imagine my mother playing doll games with my little sister , so they can play with us any game , go any where if conditions allow . Moreover they can share with us our secret , our feeling and so on

From my point of view, both of them are very important for us. Each one give us things that the other one can not, the only difference is that you have to choose your friends, so try to do it well and they will be like a second family for you

Writing Feedback / Is better for kids to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than at secondary? [5]

IELTS TASK 2:

Learning foreign languages in elementary school

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years , the question of whether students should start to learn a foreign language at elementary school or secondary school has been receiving a great deal of public attention . Although this trend is not without disavantages , the upsides will be far more significant .

There are a number of reasons why children should not be taught a new language at primary school . First , since students at these ages begin to be taught to use their mother tongue , learning two languages at the same time seems to be difficult , esspecially to these ages . In fact, their native language is a bridge between learners and new languages so it is challenge to children to learn a foreign language with no fundamental language . Second , as children in primary school begin to accustom to many subjects , they are likely to be over workload and even exhausted if they have to learn too much subjects simultaneously. This means that they will be afraid of school at the first time , which leads to bad results at school down the road.

Nevertheless , people must acknowledge that this trend also has it own advantages . First , by learning a foreign language as children are in elementary school , they are more likely to use that language fluently than others. It is apparent that learning another language is a long-term process, if a foreign language is taught for children, they will as soon as have their own fundamental knowledge, which can be beneficial for them down the road to get insight into that language . Second , since nowadays more scholarships are offered for students all over the world, being bilingual soon can be a strong point for students . This means that preparing a foreign language for children in elementary school can help them have more chances in the future .

In conclusion , although learning a foreign language in primary school seems to be difficult for children , its benefits down the road are more significant . By learning a foreign language at elementary school , children can easier to take a deep insight into it and have more opportunities.

Writing Feedback / The shortage of accommodation in big cities [4]

lack of housing in most of the big cities

In recent years, the majority of people living in cities are facing a severe problem of lacking accommodation. Although this problem can be contributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions have been offered to address this.

There are several seasons of housing shortage in large cities. Firstly, since the population in the world is soared rapidly, the demand for accommodations increased as it is in direct ratio with the number of residents in cities. For example, the capital of Finland has the same area to Beijing in China, but the housing shortage of Beijing is receiving more attention from people because the number of residents in this city is by far higher than that of the capital of Finland. Additionally, as a result of inequitable development between many cities, today, more and more young people go to cities to find a good job with a higher salary than they can earn in their villages, especially in big cities or industrialization areas. Consequently, the population density in those cities will increase, which leads to a severe shortage of housing.

However, to deal with this noticeable issue the authorities can consider some solutions. Firstly, a feasible solution but not novel, by demolishing former buildings to make space for skyscrapers, governments can increase the number of housing with the same areas. For example, an old with litter apartments can be replaced by a fashion building with hundred of flats, which means that more accommodations are created so the lack of housing can be addressed. Moreover, if the governments allocate national budgets equitably to remote areas, the economy in that area will develop and create more jobs for residents. This means that those people in that countryside no longer need to go to big cities to make a living, as a result, the number of people in big cities will be dispersed in other areas. Then, the population in large cities will decrease and the housing shortage is solved.

In conclusion, the lack of housing in the majority of big cities in the world can be attributed to several seasons. By building more skyscrapers or allocating budgets for remote areas, the governments can put this problem under control.

Writing Feedback / Chart - the percentage of owned and rented accommodations in two regions [2]

households in owned and rented accomodation

The chart provided compares the percentage of owning accommodation and rented ones in two regions ( England and Wales ) over the course of 93 years from 1918 to 2011. Overall, people were inclined to own a house in the past, while a reverse picture was seen from 1918 to 2011.

In 1918, the percentage of households in rented accommodation held the lion's share ( around 78% ), which was nearly fourfold the percentage of owned accommodation, at 22%. 21 years later, the ratio of rented houses decreased by roughly 9%, while, that of rentals increased by under 10%. Then, they kept that trend and made up the same rate in 1917.

In 1918, the percentage of households owning increased by 10%, which also was the percentage of households renting decreased at the same time. Over the course of 10 years from 1991 to 2001, the percentage of owning accommodation accounted for around 68%, and that of renting accommodation made up nearly 32%. After that, in 2011, the percentage of owning house lost its momentum and dropped to under 65%, while renting accommodation rebounded and held over 45%.

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