Writing Feedback / Is it worth forcing children, who lack artistic talent, to learn art-based subjects? [4]

Should art-based subjects be compulsory?

(Agree or disagree)

Some people argue that it is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn art-based subjects, such as painting and drawing. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that there is no point in teaching painting and drawing to students who do not possess aptitude for art at school, while they should invest their time in other practical subjects. Personally, I completely disagree with this opinion and deem that art-based subjects are indispensable.

First of all, I believe that art-based subjects enhance the creativity of humans. According to research, scientists figure out that the students who are fanatical about art often have flying colors. In addition, the requirement of imagination in those subject allow them to train their concentration and inventiveness which are inevitable in every subject. For instance, Einstein, who is an eminent scientist, also opted for the violin to alleviate his tension. As a effect , he left humankind an invaluable legacy. That is the reason why it is vitally important for school to prioritize art-based subjects.

Secondly, these subjects also provide artistic students with an opportunity to detect their potential. As far as I concern, there are some students who are not enthusiastic about Maths or Science. That is the reason why Art classes exist to discover their true ability in art and these students would stand a good chance of majoring in new fields which match their talent. As a case in point, Justin Bieber who discovered his gift at a young age are undeniably successful at the moment and he makes a fortune. Thus, art should be mandatory at school.

In conclusion, I definitely disagree that schools consider art-based subjects are optional due to the fact that they both make all the students more inventive and provide worthy chance for artistic students.

Writing Feedback / The line graph illustrates car thefts in Great Britain, France, Sweden and Canada from 1990 to 1999 [5]

ielts Line graph about car theft in four countries

The line graph illustrates car thefts in Great Britain, France, Sweden and Canada from 1990 to 1999. Unit was measured in thousand.
Overall, the rate of car theft in Britain topped the list throughout the 9-year period. Meanwhile, there was a downward trend in the rates in both France and Canada.

In detail, the figures for vehicles thefts in Britain tallied about 17 thousands cases in 1990 before increase to 20 thousands cases 6 years later. Although it saw a drop in the end of the period, Britain was still reported the most cases among four countries. This was closely followed by Sweden where an average of 8 thousands cars were stolen in the initial year. Then, the rates significantly surged to 12 thousands thefts before peaking at 14 thousands thefts.

In stark contrast, the cases of car theft shrank from 7 thousands to 5 thousands after 3 years, but it slightly rebounded to 6 thousands after a 9-year period. In addition, the figures for car theft in France peaked at 8 thousands, exceeding Canada's rates and being reported the same figures in comparison with Sweden in 1991.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Causes Solutions: Professionals leave their countries to work in developed countries. [3]

Job migration to the wealthier countries

An increasing numbers of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes? What are the soulutions?

Professionals, such as doctors and teachers, have a tendency to leave their developing countries to find jobs in developed countries. This essay will examine main causes of this issue and possible solutions.

The two main causes of leaving countries among professionals are the deficiency of high-quality facilities and slim chance to promote. When these white-collar workers live in developing countries, they can not have cutting-edge technology. This way, they stand no chance of working as their desire. For instance, teachers in some rural areas have to commute about 10 km to the schools on foot. Also, promotion is another key factor that deter those professionals from staying in the poor countries. Their salaries are not sufficient, although they indulge themselves on their occupation. Doctors or teachers definitely opt for developed countries where they can devote themselves to their passion without worrying about money. For example, the majority of people in Southeast Asia tend to find scholarships to study abroad and settle down there. Thus, lacking money and poor condition are deterrents for the professionals.

Some possible solutions to this problem are investing money in facilities and have more incentives for white-collar laborers. High-tech devices and machines undeniably make workers focus on their works because they provide them with comfort when working. As a case in point, online lessons emerged in my country in response to a pandemic allow teachers to finish their duty at home, providing them a safe environment to educate the students. Consequently, they are more fanatical about their works. Besides, governments should have some special policies for the professionals because they can draw their interest in their occupation.

In conclusion, low salaries and low-quality facilities are two main factors that make the professionals leave their poor countries. However, we can significantly change this situation by improving the working condition and providing these people with sufficient salaries.

Writing Feedback / The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. [3]

Gross Domestic Product in the UK

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000.

The bar chart provides information regarding gross domestic product from IT and Service Industry of the UK between 1992 and 2000.
Overall, the rate of products in IT Industry exceeded its counterpart in Service Industry, although there are upward trends in both of them. Noticeably, IT Industry witnessed a more rapid growth.

IT Industry tallied about 6 percent in 1992, which was tripled compared to Service Industry. Two years later, it reported a nearly 2 per cent increase before slightly sinking to less than 8 per cent. Despite a moderate decline, the percentage of IT Industry accelerated from approximately 8 percent to 12 percent, and reach a high of about 15 percent, doubling the percentage of Service Industry.

Besides, the proportion of Service Industry only accounted for 4 per cent of GDP in the initial year, and it markedly slid to around 6 percent in 1994. After that, this figure slightly go up in 1996 and almost reach 8 per cent in 1998 before exceeding this number in the end of the 8-year period.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Advantages and Disadvantges: Conveniece foods [6]

convenience foods emerging rapidly

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of modern life style. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do the advantges outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an increasing number of people opting for convenience for in response to fast-paced modern lifestyle. This way, it makes a big change in companies and consumers alike. Although this phenomenon brings both advantages and disadvantages, the advantages absolutely outweigh the disadvantages.

The two main advantages of this trend are offering opportunities for busy people and creating a novel industry for many corporations. First of all, business, who have to engross themselves in their work, stand a good chance to reduce the time for eating and prioritise their business. For example, most of the employees can only spend a few minutes for lunchtime, so convenience foods are reasonable options. Moreover, convenience foods emerging rapidly lead to the establishment of many companies. The demands for these foods are high, and many companies make a fortune with regard to this trend. For instance, convenience stores like Circle K and KFC become prevalent brands due to the increase of these foods.

However, obesity and addiction to convenience foods are definitely alarming issues. It is undeniable that these foods contain unhealthy substances and lacking nutrients, which increase the rate of obese people. Furthermore, convenience foods deprive the ability of cooking from people. Needless to say, people are more dependent on these foods than the past, and at the same time the consuming of junk foods is going up. It can clearly be seen that young people in some countries are unable to cook meals for themselves, and hamburgers are widely chosen for breakfast. Nevertheless, if junk foods were consumed moderately, there would be no need to concern.

In conclusion, although convenience foods leads to obesity and addiction, it has an extremely positive impact on busy people and market. I believe that its benefits definitely outweigh its drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Process diagram: Generating electricity [5]

The diagram shows how electricity is generated by a hydroelectric dam

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The diagrams illustrates the way in which a hydroelectric dam creates electricity.

Overall, it is apparent that water, which is contained in the reservoir, is the key material for the process. Meanwhile, electricity is generated in the powerhouse.

Initially, water flows through an intake to a chamber called penstock. After that, water follows the current and applies pressure to the turbine, forcing it to rotate in a circular movement. At the next stage, the turbine begins to creates energy. Energy is then supplied to the generator attached to the turbine. Following this, the generator converts energy into electricity in the powerhouse, and power lines are in charge of distributing electricity to distant areas through a machine.

It is interesting to note that the dam is constructed on the river, and the bulk of the procedure happens underground. Besides, abundant water follows its current and ends up in the river. Then, it is renewable, and electricity is automatically generated again with the hydroelectric dam.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Pie chart: Revenue Sources and Expenditures of a USA Charity [3]

Revenue Sources and Expenditures

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

The pie charts illustrate the revenue sources and expenditure of a charitable organization for children in USA in the year 2016.

Overall, donated food made up the predominant part of revenue sources, while investment income and government grants were the smallest segments. In comparison, the bulk of money was spent on program services, whereas management and general contributed least to the expenditure.

In detail, donated food account for 86.6% of the total revenue source, while only just over one tenth of the revenue was from community contributions. Noticeably, government grants and investment income shared the same figure, which was 0.2%. Besides, program revenue and other income were 2.2% and 0.4% respectively. The total revenue was $53,561,580.

Furthermore, program services, which almost dominated the expenditure, tallied 95.8%. In stark contrast, only 2.6 of the spending was contributed by fundraising, and the figure for management and general was at 1.6%. The total spending was &53,224,896, which was approximately $340,000 higher than the total revenue.

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