Writing Feedback / International travelling brings more advantages than domestic traveling because ... [3]

Hi! This is my Toefl writing task 2, please help me with this essay.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Traveling plays a crucial part in our lives, for it not only helps us relieve stress but also broadens our horizons. However, whether people should explore their home country or other countries remains controversial. In my opinion, traveling abroad is more beneficial than traveling locally. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

First of all, it is the best way to learn a new language. Visiting a foreign country provides us with the opportunity to immerse ourselves in their language, which enhances our vocabulary as well as speaking fluency. For instance, last summer, I had a journey to Japan. It was a fascinating experience. Everyone around me speaks Japanese, and almost everything, from the menu in the restaurants, to the instruction signs in libraries or other public places, to the advertising pinned up around towns, is all written in this language. Hence, I have the chance to expand my vocabulary and practice my speaking skills. Having spent a few months in the native country, I no longer find it difficult to express my ideas in Japanese. As a matter of fact, I am now able to communicate clearly and coherently and be confident in my language ability. That is how traveling to a foreign country can benefit us in learning a second or third language.

Second, traveling overseas allows us to explore a variety of cultures around the globe. Not all people on this Earth share the same lifestyle. Each country, each region has its own unique lifestyles. Thus, Stepping foot in foreign lands will open our minds and offer us a different look about the world. For example, my family once had a vacation in Egypt. We gained a great deal of knowledge about their history, people, and traditions. We were surprised to listen to stories about ancient Egypt from local people. In addition, we also participate in many special rituals and interesting festivals, which left me with unforgettable memories. It appears that the cultural barrier is completely removed. The deeper understandings I have of them, the more I admire and appreciate their civilization. That is the reason why it is better for people to travel abroad.

In conclusion, I believe that international travelling brings more advantages than domestic traveling because it creates a perfect environment to study a new language and also helps us explore many exotic cultures around the world.

Writing Feedback / Variety of ways in which parents can prepare their children for future life - teaching finances [2]

Hi! Here is my essay for TOEFL IBT independent writing. Please help me check it!

children should learn to manage their own money at a young age

In this Toefl writing task 2, I will have 30 minutes to plan and write my answers ( through typing in computers)
The instructions also say that typically, an effective response should contain a minimum of 300 words.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are a variety of ways in which parents can prepare their children for future life. Nevertheless, whether kids should be taught about finance from an early age to become financially accountable adults remains controversial. In my opinion, it is better for kids to learn money management at a tender age. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

First of all, this allows them to make wiser choices on how to spend money. If children discover that they simply could not obtain all the things they desire at the same time, they will learn to set priorities. Take my little brother as an example, at the start of each month, he receives an amount of money from his father and uses it for the rest of the month. At first, he was extremely excited and spend all of his money on toys, so his room was filled up with all kinds of toys. However, he soon emptied his wallet and failed to purchase his favorite comic book when the new episode came out. He was regretful and gradually understood that in order to collect enough money for the book, he needs to stop wasting on unnecessary toys. That is how learning from mistakes can help kids financially in the long run.

Second, financial lessons from childhood enable children to realize the value and importance of money. In order to achieve financial independence, it is crucial for one to spend less than he earns and start saving. Otherwise, he may encounter difficulty controlling his money. For instance, if a child is born into a wealthy family and immediately obtains what he asks for, he will take money for granted and make no effort in saving it. As he matures, he is likely to use up all his earnings and runs into debt. Therefore, parents should increase their offsprings' awareness of money when they were small.

In conclusion, I believe that children should be equipped with money management skills since childhood. This not only helps them reach the right decision on how to spend but also teach them the significance of money, which may benefit them in the future.

Thank you for reading!

Writing Feedback / Whether traveling on our own or with a group headed by a tour guide is better remains controversial [2]

Hi! This is my essay for TOEFL IBT independent writing. Please help me check it. Thank you!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are a variety of ways to travel. However, whether traveling on our own or with a group headed by a tour guide is better remains controversial. In my opinion, traveling under the guidance of a tour guide brings more advantages than taking the trip by ourselves. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

First of all, the tour guide is highly knowledgeable about tourist attractions. She can provide us with a large amount of information regarding the history, culture, and people of the place. If we opt to travel alone, we will be likely to miss the opportunity to acquire these valuable pieces of knowledge. For instance, my family once visited a well-known mountainous village in northern Vietnam. The tour guide gave us detailed descriptions of the traditions, customs, and lifestyles of ethnic people there. Hence, we had a deeper understanding of their lives. She told us about their daily routines and even taboos so that we could avoid inappropriate behaviors in many situations. She also offered us some useful advice on where and how to go sightseeing in a safe way, as the roads in this region are quite steep and uneven, which may be dangerous if not careful. That is how hiring a tour guide made our trip more pleasant and interesting.

Second, in case we run into trouble, having a tour guide could be a great help. If a person travels on his own, he has no one to turn to when it comes to coping with unexpected problems. Take my friend's experience as an example, he used to get lost in a rainforest during his journey. At first, he was extremely worried, fortunately, when he contacted his tour guide, she managed to calm him down and gave him elaborate instructions to get back. Thanks to her assistance, he was able to return quickly and safely. That is the reason we should always have a tour guide when traveling.

In conclusion, it is way more beneficial to take a group tour accompanied by a tour guide. This is not only a chance to enhance our knowledge but is also helpful when something unpleasant happens to us.

Thanks for reading!