Writing Feedback / The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate [3]

The diagram shows how chocolate is produced - ielts 1

The given diagram illustrates the complex procedures required to produce liquid chocolate.

Overall, the chocolate-producing process involves ten different steps, starting from harvesting the pods and ending with the grinding process. Tropical evergreen cocoa trees mostly grow in the wet lowland tropics of South America, Africa and Southeast Asia such as Indonesia. Once ripe and red, the pods are harvested manually by utilizing the farming blades. The farmers collect the white beans from the pods to begin the fermentation process. During this period, the white cocoa beans turn brown. The brown beans are heated and dried under the sun before carefully sealed and packaged into sacks. They are dispatched to the manufacturer by either lorries or trains, ready for mass production.

In the chocolate-manufacturing factory, cocoa beans undergo three processes of roasting, winnowing, and grinding. First, the beans are roasted under 350 degrees to enhance the colour and flavour. This process also makes the outer shells brittle, augmented the winnowing process when the inner cocoa meat is separated from the shell to be crushed and refined. Finally, the fine cocoa nibs are pressed by the grinding machine to produce liquid chocolate.

Message: It would be helpful if you can give me an estimated score if this were an IELTS test. I am going to take the exam in July. Thank you!

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  The diagram shows how chocolate is produced.
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site. [2]

Topic:
The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site.

Summarise, report main features and make comparisons where relevant.

My Writing:

The maps illustrate a development plan of a visitor attraction landmark on an existing site that was previously utilized as a coal mine.

According to the illustration, the original coal mine included various sites. To the north was the coal mine entrance; staff dressing rooms and lunch room situated on its left. In the opposite direction, there were two waste sites located on the east side of the mine.

There are some significant changes to the site that intended to augment its walkability and entertainment. First, some of the buildings were renovated and converted to serve different purposes. The entrance was transformed into a tourist entrance while the medical center on the west became a coffee shop. Similarly, the partial wall between the staff change rooms and lunch room was torn down to function as a public museum for visitors.

Second, some sites underwent mass demolition. More specially, both waste sites on the east and northeast were overhauled and displaced by a driving circuit and a pond.

Lastly, it is clearly seen that some new features were added to the new-developed visitor attraction site. The walking track was constructed, enhanced the circulation in the site by creating a pathway from the north of the driving circuit to the center of the park. Furthermore, the site also considered having children playgrounds on the southeast of the park.

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  The maps below show a coal mine and its redevelopment into a visitor attraction site.
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: The maps show the changes of a small theater in 2010 and 2012 [3]

The maps illustrate how the layout of small-scaled theatre has transformed throughout the years 2010 and 2012.

Overall, it is clearly seen that the floor footage of the theatre had increased in 2012. Specifically, some facilities were either relocated or resized as well as the addition of some new amenities during the given period.

Walking by the main entrance, the former coffee shop on the right was taken by the ticket office. Although remaining on the left, the administration office was demolished and reconstructed at the top corner; the western space was expanded in size to make space for the new restaurant. Meanwhile, the auditorium also met some significant changes. While the audience area kept unchanged with the same seating capacity, the stage was conspicuously enlarged to the back. As a result, the backstage became a narrow hallway, connecting the relocated storage on the right and the new-built media room with a shower situated on the left.

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  The maps show the changes of a small theater in 2010 and 2012
  

Writing Feedback / Information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand (in the period of 200 years) [2]

IELTS Task 1 - birth and death rates in New Zealand

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given graph illustrates the dynamics of the birth and death rates in New Zealand during the period of 1901 and 2101.

According to the graph, the birth rate, although it shows some fluctuation, was noticeably higher than the death rate and reached its maximum in the year 1961. However, it is projected that the death rates continue to grow exponentially and are predicted to surpass the birth rate in 2041.

Comparing the birth rate prior to the 2000s, the numbers started at 20,000 in 1901 and rose dramatically during a 60-year period and finally exceeded the peak of 60,000 by 1965. After some fluctuation in 2010, the number later plummeted and followed a descending trajectory for the rest of the period.

Conversely, the death rate increased gradually every year with a starting point of less than 10,000. Since 2001, the number climbed from 28,000 to nearly 60,000 in shortly 40 years. It then steadies at a rate of 58,000 after the year 2061.

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  birthrateinnewze.png
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Discuss both views: IS MATHEMATICS REDUNDANT? [3]

Topic:
Some parents believe that learning mathematics at school is redundant and should not be taught while others believe that it should remain a foundational subject whether or not it is used later in life.

Discuss both views.

Whether or not to teach mathematics at school has been spurring acute controversy for a long time. While some parents opine about math as an impractical and superfluous subject, other parents contend that it holds a pivotal part of education and must remain compulsory in the school curriculum for its wide range of applications. This essay analyzes both points of view in-depth.

Many parents deem that the role of mathematics in education became more obsolete and irrelevant. Due to the booming of the computer age, we derive benefits from the fascinating application of automated procedures to tackle complex mathematical-related problems. Aloof of conceptual math, the interference of machinery demonstrates the unnecessity of mathematical skills and statistical savvy when every calculation from simple additions to complicated derivatives are decipherable by computers. The interference of automatic calculation is attributable to the notion that mathematics is merely an ancient subject that needs to be removed from the syllabus.

In contrast to parents who wish to cease teaching math in classes, others affirm their opposition to the aforementioned perspective. Mathematics benefits students intellectually despite hand calculations and train problems becoming redundant. It is true that a student, who is competent in mathematics, performs excellent problem-solving skills and sharp quantitative thinking compared to a student who is mediocre at math. A good deal of research has explained this by pinpointing out how doing math can recruit certain regions more reliably and increase gray volume in those regions. For that reason, many parents firmly believe that mathematics is a crucial subject at school.

In conclusion, the argument about excluding mathematics from the school curriculum has been going to the climax. Several parents perceive it as outdated and impractical, while other parents maintain that math should remain mandatory at school. This essay examined various reasons why parents hold these perspectives and whether mathematics should stay or remove from the school studies.