Writing Feedback / The profits of the top five mentioned mobile phone brands made through selling their products [2]

Ielts writing test 1: mobile phone brands global sales

The profits the top 5 mentioned mobile phone brands made through selling their products in a period of 4 years, starting from 2009 are vividly depicted in the bar chart provided.

From the chart, it is obviously evident that the sales of Samsung and Nokia took turn to top the chart. What's more, the sales figure of Samsung, Apple and ZTE experienced an upward trend during the period while that of Nokia and LG tended to go down gradually.

In 2009, Nokia brand took the lead in the sales with nearly 450 while those of Apple is the lowest only about 20. Nokia continued to possess the highest sales figure in 2011. At the same time, Samsung was second to Nokia in sales. The sales of Apple, LG and ZTE in that same year were 98,97 and 51 respectively. The sales number of Samsung in 2013 was 450, which made it the brand that had the highest sales in that year compared to the 4 other brands in the chart. Nokia came second with 250. The third place belonged to Apple with 150, the forth and fifth place to LG and ZTE in the order mentioned.

I have a question. How can I write a better description of the chart's main features? All I write was the highest and the lowest figures and then I list the rest.

Thank you very much for your feedback and your help <3

• 
  654574EE7F9E430DB.png
  

Writing Feedback / People always hesitate when it comes to changes [2]

Some people spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change

People always hesitate when it comes to changes. However, in some cases, changes can bring positive impact. In the passage I will weigh the pros and cons of consistency and changes.

It is evident that doing the same thing for a long time is definitely boring. If one ask a man working in an assembly line how he feels about his job, If one ask a man working in an assembly line how he feels about his job, The answer is certainly tedious because all that he ever does is assembling details or parts. However, consistency may benefit one to some extents. When one do something day in day out, the body parts will get used to the work. It's means that skills get polished, reflection becomes sharp and chances of making mistakes reduce significantly.

Changes are only advantageous if one is receptive. An appropriate change will by no means lead to results unexpected and fascinating. For example, a farmer changes his farming methods, types of seed and maybe fertilizers and the productivity of his crop this year increases compared to the previous one. Nevertheless, unsuitable changes resulted in many problems.

Personally, I think that we should really keep on doing what we have been doing to make sure that we achieve the best results and we should make changes when it really needs to in order to improve the situation.

All in all, persistence and changes both have their benefits and drawbacks. We should check our situation into careful consideration to ensure that whether repeatation or change will bring us positive outcomes. In other words, we should be adaptive to changes, not avoid them.

Please help me with my writing. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your help <3

Writing Feedback / Some people think international sports event is good for the country. Others think it is bad. [2]

I am sorry because I forgot to save the topic. I just remembered like this:
Some people think international sports event is good for the country. Others think it is bad.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

International sports events such as World cup or Olympics attract millions of visitors both inside and outside the host country. Although holding events of such a large scale may do harm to the country, I would argue that it does bring some significant benefits.

Apparently, there are some drawbacks that should be taken into careful consideration when holding an international sports event. First of all, such events may lead to a higher level of pollution. More people coming means more vehicles used and more exhausted fumes emitted. For those reasons, pollution, such as noise and air pollution, gets worse afterwards and severely affects the health of the natives. Another the downside is the coronavirus, a contagious virus. In an era where COVID-19 is rampaging, it is likely that the virus will spread all over the country and kill millions of people if the government doesn't strictly comply distancing and sanitary regulations. Last but not least, there may be threat of terrorism and damage to traditional buildings or cultural heritages due to the carelessness and irresponsibility of visitors.

I advocate celebrating sports events on international scale for the reason that it will be profitable to the host country. During the events, the country can make millions of dollars from many sources such as selling admission tickets or signing ads contracts with famous sports gear brands. Moreover, a lump sum of money can also be made through the traveling of visitors. The events are also great opportunity to promote tourism. Many visitors will spend a few days paying a visit to well-known tourist attractions. What's more, the country should make good use of the occasions to make its good sides such as hospitality, scenic views and so on known to the public.

In short, such huge events when held definitely have some difficulties. However, in my opinion, if the country can deal with the problems effectively, international sports events may help boost the economy of the host country remarkably.

Sometimes, I have difficulty expressing my ideas in a sentence with proper length. Do you have any advice?
Thank you very much for you feedback and you help<3 They are of very good use for me.

Writing Feedback / The number of students graduating from university in Canada in a period of 15 years [3]

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The number of students graduating from university in Canada in a period of 15 years is vividly depicted in the line chart given, starting from 1992.

From the graph, it is obviously that the figures of both male and female graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007 experienced an upward trend. Moreover, female graduates outnumbered male ones.

Starting in 1992, Canada had approximately 70,000 males who got their university diplomas. This number then increased to about 75,000 and went down slightly to just over 70,000 in 1999. From 2001, more male students completed their course at the university, the number growing significantly from 72,000 in 2001 to 98,000 in 2007.

Nearly 100,000 Canadian females were awarded with a degree for completing their course at the university in 1992. This number then went up to about 102,000 in 1996 and declined to exactly 100,000 in 1997. From 1997 to 1999, it remained stable before it started to surge dramatically from the year 2000 and finally reached its peak at just below 150,000.

• 
  79500073A3C0452F8.jpeg