Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by prince303
Joined: May 18, 2010
Last Post: May 27, 2010
Threads: 5
Posts: 10  
From: India

Displayed posts: 15
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
prince303   
May 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / Music and art in school essay [6]

[b]Music is not practical and not valuable. Children should not be taught music at school. They should rather learn computing and science. Do you agree or disagree?

School is a place for student's overall development. They become successful by learning various things in school, like, Academics, sports and extra curricular activities. Interestingly, inclusion of extra curricular activities like music, arts and drama in student's timetable has caused a lot of debate. Some people argue that these subjects are not important and they should focus on computers and science. However, I strongly disagree with the idea of eliminating music and drama from schools. My opinion is based on several factors. I will explain two conspicuous reasons in this essay.

One of the most significant reason to support the existence of creative subjects like music, drama and arts is freedom of choice. Every individual has different qualities, thoughts and skills. Some students are really good in computers while others are naturally talented in music and drama. So, they must get chance to choose their favorite field. For example, If we barricade upcoming talent in singing and acting, undoubtedly, we would not see any other Lata mangeshkar and Amitabh bachan in the future. Students need expert mentoring to nurture their talent in singing, dancing and acting. This could only be possible by encouraging and teaching such subjects in schools.

Another possible factor to include creative subjects in school is popularity and big money. Gone are the days when dancers and singers were underestimated and paid below par. In this era of globalization every second person is becoming computer professional or engineer. This makes job market very competitive, however, if a person is qualified dancer or singer, he can earn handsome money through various ways. For example, many television competitions are offering huge amount of money to the contestants. Moreover, creative persons can always open schools to teach others.

In conclusion, undoubtedly, this is the era of computer and science, however every individual is independent to make their career choice. Therefore, schools must be flexible enough to provide all subjects, including music, drama and arts. Otherwise many youngsters will be forced to study other subjects, despite of their own choice. Consequently, country may not be able to produce great artists, musicians, dancers and actors.
prince303   
May 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / ielts essay: Advantages of attending school from a young age [2]

HI..SEPIDEH
You have some grammatical errors in your essay.Which i guess, already been corrected by other users. Just remember one thing that, your essay should be well structured. Try to write 4 paragraphs or maximum 5. First intro, 2nd and 3rd body and last for conclusion.

If its a agree or disagree essay, give 2 reasons to support your opinion in body, one in each para.
State your opinion clearly in introduction.

If its a advantages and disadvantages essay.. than write advantages in one and disadvantage in other. and write your opinion in conclusion.

And stop using secondly, lastly and firstly. Try to use different words and sentences. For example, one of the most significant reasons to support the argument is....

Another reason to concrete my opinion is...

Despite some drawbacks, there is a brighter side of enrolling in school at an early age.

Best of luck, May god speed u.
prince303   
May 19, 2010
Writing Feedback / Music and art in school essay [6]

Thank you so much name_here. I really appreciate your effort and will try to rectify my mistakes.
take care and god bless.
prince303   
May 20, 2010
Writing Feedback / People are moving in to the big cities for more comfortable and convenient life [10]

In many countries,an increasing number of people are moving to big cities from
small towns and villages. I personally feel, this is a positive move, despite some drawbacks.

One of the reasons why people are preferring to live in cities is more job opportunities. In this era of globalization, no one is spared from the rat-race. Every one wants to earn name and fame. Big money and high standard of living lure many persons to try their luck in cities. Big cities are home to prestigious companies, they offer lucrative packages to their employees and make their dreams come true, which is impossible in small towns. For this reason, thousands of school pass outs and graduates shift to metropolitans to get employed by reputed organizations.

Another major reason behind this trend is lack of entertainment facilities and hangout places in country side or small towns. Big cities are filled with cinema halls, theme parks, night clubs, bowling alleys and many other places to beat the stress and enjoy their free time to the fullest. In small

towns, on the other hand, people are deprived of such facilities, normally they spend their free time by sleeping or sitting in front of the idiot box. As a result, they get tempted by lavish lifestyle that a city offers over their boring village life.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that a cities make life comfortable and convenient through various advantages which they offer, unlike small towns. I personally feel this trend will continue to grow in the near future.
prince303   
May 20, 2010
Writing Feedback / Music and art in school essay [6]

thanks a lot. Can u check this conclusion?
In conclusion, undoubtedly, this is the era of computer and science.
However, every individual should be given the freedom and opportunity
to make their career choice. Otherwise, many youngsters will be forced
to study subjects that are not their cup of tea.Therefore, schools
must be flexible enough to offer all subjects, including music, drama
and arts. By doing so, we can produce versatile students who can shine
at both sciences and arts.
prince303   
May 20, 2010
Essays / learn about essay, my self in interview in my career in finance [7]

Hi rozie,
Introduction would be like this.
My name is ....
I have done my schooling from...(school)
I have completed my graduation from ... (name of your university) in ...(course).
I do have --- years of expereince as an ... (designation) at....(company name)
As far as my family background is concerned. My father is .... and mother is house wife.
I have a elder/younger brother, he is in 10th grade.
My hobbies are travelling and listening music.

Well this is a basic self intro. Hope it helps
prince303   
May 20, 2010
Writing Feedback / ESSAY- Comment on freedom on choice of clothing in schools - FEEDBACK [2]

School is the place, which lays foundation for the development of students, whether its for their academic progress or their overall personality. School teaches them right manners and discipline. Wearing same uniform is an integral part of school to maintain these ethics. For this reason, I strongly believe that students should wear uniform at school. My opinion is based on several reasons. But, there are two conspicuous ones which i want to elaborate in this essay.

One of the significant reasons to support the argument is equality among students. Students come from different backgrounds and races. Wearing same clothes eliminates the differences between rich and poor or black and white. They can communicate more effectively and gel easily while wearing same clothes. On the other hand , if they wear clothes of their own choice, than differences may widen between students because some rich students might show off and others could get depressed.

Another important reason is indiscipline which may arise from casual clothes at school. Giving them freedom to wear means some students may wear too fashionable, skimpy or revealing clothes, which may attract the attention of fellow students. As a result, it could hamper their academic progress severely. Undiscerning children will spend their precious time, thinking of what to show each day at school rather than focusing on other school activities.

In conclusion, compulsory uniform at school completes the school life and makes it a happier place for all students.
prince303   
May 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 : Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. [9]

Hi Willy,
First of all, you need to structure your essay well. It does not look nice this way. Try to write in at least 4 paragraphs. First introduction and state your opinion also. Second and third are for body and fourth for conclusion. To get good bands in IELTS this is very crucial.

good luck
prince303   
May 21, 2010
Research Papers / can someone help me with my research paper of against death penalty? [8]

HI Josy,
u can start your introduction like this - In recent times the world has become increasingly violent due to an increase in crimes. Often serious criminals get death sentence for their act but some people argue that capital punishment is morally not acceptable. This eassy unfolds both sides of capital punishment, whether it is acceptable or not to take someone's life for committing a crime.

Points against capital punishment.
1. Many people think that it is inhumane and socially worng to take people's life.
2. There could be more possible ways to punish a perosn rather than death penalty. For example, life
time prison.
3 Many people cannot afford justice due to poverty.
4. Execution is final, there is no second chance to free a person if he or she is found innocent later on.

Hope that helps. Good luck.
prince303   
May 22, 2010
Writing Feedback / People are moving in to the big cities for more comfortable and convenient life [10]

Hi Mickey,
thanks for your feedback. Actually i have explained only 2 reasons to support my opinion. Obviously there is a other side of coin also. But according to me, i justified why cities are luring people and beneficial to them. If they would have asked pros and cons, then i could have written points mentioned by you. What do you think about this?
prince303   
May 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / ESSAY - READING ENTERTAINMENT BOOKS INSTEAD OF EDUCATIONAL BOOKS - FEEDBACK [2]

ome parents say that their children are wasting enough time on reading entertainment book. Children should spend their time on educational books. Give your opinion with examples.

If we are to compare the difference between the reading habits of today's students and that of 20 years ago, we can see stark differences. (can we use this line in context of this essay?). Nowadays, students prefer reading entertainment books such as harry potter, aladin and alice in wonderland. Many people argue that students should focus on educational books rather than wasting time on reading entertainment books. ( can we change this sentence, every time we say this line any better line?). However, I believe t should that students should read books that can entertain them, apart from reading their academic books. My opinion is based on several reasons.

To begin with, reading entertainment books improve the thinking capacity and language skills of students. Educational books at school are primarily focused on examination. Therefore, students tend to memorize the important texts from the books just for the sake of exams. Moreover, they find it really boring to go through whole books. In contrast, entertainment books let students to open up their imagination. Which allows them to enhance their creativity dramatically/immensely. In addition, famous characters and excellent stories hook the students to read each and every word in books. Consequently, they learn many new words and improve their reading skills.

It is quite amazing to know how a entertainment book distresses the students. Nowadays, students have packed timetables. School, sports and private coaching classes leave them with a boggling (any other word?) head. Entertainment books work as a stress buster for them. After a long tiring day, nothing is better than reading your favorite comic while lying on your couch. It relieve their mind from confusing calculas and heavy chemistry formulas. Which allows them to freshen up for the next hectic day.

In a nutshell, reading entertainemnt books provide many advantages for students. However, student should allocate time for reading such books and must not neglect their studies. With proper supervision, reading entertainment books are very beneficial for youngsters.
prince303   
May 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / PEOPLE SHOULD CHANGE THEIR JOBS ATLEAST ONCE - FEEDBACK [NEW]

If we are to compare the job flexibility of today's generation and those of 20 years back. We can see stark differences. Nowadays, people tend to switch different jobs within a short span of time than in earlier times. In fact, in some fields they move to another company within a year. I strongly believe that people should change their jobs according to their needs. Several reasons have been identified for this phenomenon.

Firstly/ to begin with, the most significant reason that motivates a person a change his field of work is rapid change in technology. It is an old cliché that people salute only a rising sun. Industry prefer those people who can work on latest software, be it an accountant or an HR person. To avail lucrative packages, they need to keep up with the pace of technology. As a result, people tempted by jobs which offer handsome salaries and start switching jobs according to demand. For example, nowadays, SAP sector is booming all around the world. Because of this many employees from different modules such as Finance, Accounting, and Information Technology are dying to get an entry into SAP field. Hence, technological advancement plays a pivotal role in tempting employees to change their current line of work.

Another important reason is an urge to change their working environment. This is a human tendency which tempts the employees to look for something different rather than sticking to a same job whole their life. Many employees get so bored of their current field of work that they don't mind changing their job even at a lower salary. For example, recent survey confined that sales people are switching to sitting jobs because of daily physical stress on the field. Another illustration for this is, many accountants and IT professionals want to do something creative and adventurous than scratching their head in front of computer for hours at work. For this reason, they tend to attract towards jobs that are more lively such as event manager, disco and radio jockeys, fashion or wild life photographer and many more. Thus, people move to different profiles to bring a change in their routine lifestyles.

In a nutshell, changing jobs and field of work is a positive move. Not only it helps in monetary terms but sometimes it provides mental satisfaction to an employee.
Need Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳