Undergraduate / Opening Up to My Roommate [4]

For my essay for Boston University, I chose the following prompt:

A. It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are?

Any opinions, advice, and help on grammar are much appreciated!

My mother packed me a box full of just winter wear. She's afraid that I will freeze during the winter and I can see why she is worried. I'm accustomed to temperatures around eighty-seven degrees all year round. Boston is the opposite of what I am used to: huge, populated, and chilly. I come from a miniscule island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The population is around 48,000 and the climate is tropical. My tiny "rock" is only twelve miles long and five miles wide, which means a stroll to the beach is only ten minutes. The tallest objects are not skyscrapers, but acres of palm trees. The lifestyle there varies greatly with the lifestyle here at Boston. While people in the city are always in a rush, the people in Saipan enjoy a slower pace of life. We have a carefree and relaxed attitude, and we are known for our hospitality towards visitors. Because of the tiny population, everybody is acquainted with one another. Everyone in the community supports each other in times of happiness and grief. Just last year, a calamity struck Saipan when two young girls were kidnapped at a school bus stop. The whole community gathered together to search for the two missing children and prayed for their safety. Sadly, their whereabouts are still a mystery, and the whole island continues to be grieved by the loss. Saipan is also full of diversity with over eight countries and ten islands making up the population. Although I am Japanese and Filipino, I grew up learning Korean, Chinese, and Chamorro traditions from friends and neighbors. When people view Saipan, some picture a tropical paradise, while others see an island whose beauty is overshadowed by economic woes. I, however, will always remember Saipan as my home and the place that helped me become who I am today. It has taught me to be thankful for the blessings I have, to be creative with the limited resources around me, and to be involved in my community. Saipan helped me understand that diversity is a wonderful thing that adds flavor to any society. With its sandy beaches, cerulean sea, and azure sky, why would I ever think of leaving home? The most important thing my "rock" has taught me is to seize opportunities. My island is rich in beauty but scant in resources and possibilities. Just as the Puritans and adventurers sailed to Massachusetts in search of a better life, I am here at Boston University in search of opportunity. But enough about serious matters, I'm with my roommate in a dormitory that is 6,000 miles away from home. I hope you don't mind, but I dance along to music when I'm stressed and tired. I just suffered through a twenty-four hour flight and all I really want to do now is bust out my "moves like Jagger" as I unpack. My parents advised me to pack lightly, but there are just several items I cannot let go of. I know I won't have much time to read, but this copy of The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes will follow me everywhere. I am an avid fan of mystery novels, and Sherlock Holmes is my favorite detective. These two clothes that I packed may cause other people to gawk at me but they have sentimental value. Although we are in Boston, I cannot get rid of my "I LOVE TEXAS" shirt or my crimson Stanford University sweater. Every time I wear the Texas shirt, I recall my trip to Dallas for the National Forensics League Competition. Most of the students I traveled with there are now my lifelong friends. Wearing my Stanford sweatshirt reminds me of my days at the Junior Statesmen of America summer program in Palo Alto. It was an enlightening experience to form friendships with some of the most politically inclined students in America. I will always treasure those memories and I hope to form lasting ones here too. I am so elated to be here at Boston. Beaches and daisy dukes are great, but the city lights and glamour that I have read so much about brings a sparkle to my eyes. The city has it all-department stores, myriads of restaurants and cafés, flavor, and personality. I adore fashion as you can tell by my collection of Vogue, Elle, and Japanese fashion magazines. My favorite fashion icons are Audrey Hepburn, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Coco Chanel, and Leighton Meester. They all exude class, grace, and elegance that I admire. I also respect Marilyn Monroe, Katy Perry, and Dita von Teese for breaking away from normality and making a statement. Clothes do not only cover but also tell a story to the whole world. That's what I love most about fashion: it gives off an impression. But one thing I enjoy more than fashion is food. Speaking of which, I am famished. I have been meaning to visit this quaint restaurant called The Elephant Walk. Care to join me? Oh, and could you please hand me my Boston sweatshirt? I haven't gotten used to the weather here yet, but I have four years to grow accustomed to Boston's climate and charm. Likewise, Boston has four years to grow accustomed to my liveliness and humor.

Undergraduate / Kit Kats: Common Application Essay [10]

For my Common Application Essay, I chose to write about my own topic. Opinions, advise, and grammatical corrections are greatly appreciated! :)

There are 118 flavors of Kit Kat-my hobby is to try all of them. With flavors such as Aloe Vera, Cheese, and Soy Sauce, regular milk chocolate doesn't cut it for me. My quest to uncover each Kit Kat's distinct flavor began during an autumn trip to Japan. As I reflect on that voyage, an image of the landscape splashed in hues of mahogany, saffron, and burgundy vaguely enchant my mind. Granted, I was a young child at the time and was ignorant of the beauty around me. At the time, my whole being was fixated towards the frivolous intricacies of the snack aisle, particularly on the shelf full of Kit Kat variations. My eyes ogled the row of packaged confections. Cantaloupe, Cucumber, Daigakuimo (sweet potato)-I was overwhelmed by the plethora of possibilities. Shoppers passing by watched with amusement at the little girl who was jumping joyously in the candy aisle. With excitement, I reached for a package of Strawberry Kit Kat. One down, 117 more to go.

Ten years, and around 150 Kit Kat wrappers later, I find myself facing a shelf full of sweets at one of the shops at Kansai International Airport. I am traveling to the 2011 NFL Nationals in Dallas and afterwards to Stanford for a Junior Statesmen Foundation summer program. I've accomplished quite a bit since I first laid eyes on Kit Kats. I taught children how to swim, participated and coached for speech competitions, and arranged my school's entire library. But just as I haven't tried all the variations of Kit Kat, I haven't accomplished everything I want to do in life yet either. I haven't tried Yogurt, I haven't been to Africa, I haven't tried Earl Grey, and I haven't gone ice skating. Each flavor represents a new opportunity, a new adventure. The variations that attract me the most are the outlandish ones like Wasabi and Corn. Keep regular white, milk, and dark chocolate away from me. I don't want to do things that are common. I want to push my boundaries, get out of my comfort zone and try new things.

In 2001, I started my Kit Kat challenge and I'm far from finishing. There's still numerous of flavors to be discovered and experienced. There's still things to do, people to see, and places to go. And just as I won't enjoy some flavors as much as others, I'll learn through experience that some activities just don't appeal to me. I'll be paying a visit to my native country this winter, only this time, I'll appreciate the scenery more. I'm hoping to find Zunda (mashed edamame beans) flavored Kit Kat, a seasonal edition that is rather rare. Likewise, I'm hoping to attend college, learn the violin, watch a musical for the first time, and any other thing I want to try. This girl has tried Passion Berry, Peach, and Orange, but she's done with trying common flavors. She is ready for a taste of college, but until then, "One Green Tea Kit Kat, please." Forty down. Seventy-eight more to go.

Undergraduate / 'Why do you eat your food so quickly' + 'grade student papers' - Stanford [3]

For the Stanford prompt: "What matters to you and why?", I am torn between two essays. I am not sure which one is better so any opinions are greatly appreciated. Feel free to also correct me on grammar and structure. Thank you! :]

Essay No. 1

"Doshite sonani taberuno hayaino-Why do you eat your food so quickly?" As I take my last bite of curry, I look up from my empty bowl to my family. To my surprise, their bowls are still half full. I let out an embarrassed chuckle as my obaa-chan (grandmother) urges me to eat a second serving. I forgot, I am in Japan right now. Voltaire stated, "Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." Nothing is more universal than food. Although it began as a necessity, food has grown to be an art, a cultural identity, and a way of living. We don't just eat to sustain ourselves anymore. We consume for pleasure and entertainment. Growing up in a US territory and being raised by Asian parents presented me with two different outlooks on how food is eaten. Through observations, I realize that Americans take eating as a daily, menial task. They eat their food with little thought and often, while doing other activities. Whenever I dine in a restaurant, at least one customer has his eyes glued to his phone or laptop. He mindlessly gobbles up his meal without taking the time to enjoy it. In contrast, my parents have taught me the importance of enjoying what I eat. In Japan, much time is spent in the preparation of food because they eat not only with their mouth, but with their eyes too. Food preparation has become an art and the Japanese take their time in eating to fully appreciate their meal. America boasts a colossal number of fast food chains and this addiction to "quick eating" results into a society that has little appreciation for the small things in life. After the curry incident, I reflected on how I ate my meals. Was I eating just for the sake of eating, or was I truly appreciating food by savoring each bite? In life, we have to slow down in order to find the pleasures in what we do. Take it from the Japanese-sit down and eat food, not like it is a daily task, but as if it were a painting you were admiring. Eat not to survive, but eat because food is full of art, culture, history, and flavor. If one can make a necessity into a luxury, surely his outlook in life will be improved. "Itadakimasu! Let's eat!"

Essay No. 2

I should have been practicing for SATs, but I chose to help my mother grade her students' papers instead. I was supposed to watch Transformers 3 with friends, but I skipped out to volunteer as a swimming instructor. I was supposed to be done with this essay. Instead I helped other students with theirs. Sacrifice is a word I have been acquainted with my entire life. I grew up learning that other people's needs are sometimes more important than mine. Just this year, my mother became a science teacher for a local middle school. I have never seen her as overworked as she is now. I would often find her asleep on the couch, still wearing her uniform. Worried about her health, I confronted her as to why she started working. "College tuition isn't going to pay itself," she replied. I realized that my mother sacrificed sleepless nights in hopes that someday I would be able to attend college. Although I was already well aware of the importance of sacrifice, my mother's act of love encouraged me to put the welfare of others before my own. I, in return, help my mother whenever I can by grading tests or tutoring my younger brother. From past experiences, I have learned that sacrifice does not necessarily leave you with nothing. On the contrary, life has always found several ways to bless me for my acts of selflessness. Whenever a friend desperately needs somebody to talk to, my ears are always ready to listen. I will put down my American Government textbook and comfort a friend who is in despair. In the end, what is more important: acing a test, or helping someone turn his life around? Believe me, I want nothing more in life than to be successful. But I could never forgive myself if I put my needs before others in order to reach my goals. Perhaps that is why I want to become a doctor who is dedicated to saving lives. In the future, I should have been spending Christmas with family and friends. Instead, I rushed to the hospital to attend to an emergency. Again, life blesses me by assuring that the young child I saved will live to see a new year.

Undergraduate / 'My iPod' - Brown: Pick a Question That Will Provide the Most Insight [2]

The title pretty much states it all. I'm submitting the Brown Supplement soon, so opinions, advice, and grammar fixes are much appreciated. :] Please help me with mine, and I'll help with yours as soon as possible.

What is one item you never leave the house without? Apart from the usual keys, wallet, and phone, I never leave home without my pink iPod. Ever since I first laid my hands on its sleek frame, my iPod and I have become inseparable. It has traveled with me to two continents, three countries, and countless cities. Now, you might be wondering why a device no bigger than a credit card could be of such importance to me. From volunteering as a swimming instructor to practicing for speech competitions, my iPod gives me a break from my hectic schedule. In between school, piano lessons, and helping my mother grade her science papers, I listen to music to get away from life. Once I put on my earphones, I drown in a world full of beats, rhythm, and lyrics. For ten minutes, I am unaware of the events occurring around me and the only thing I focus on is the forceful voice of Christina Aguilera. Admittedly, I also carry my iPod in my pocket at all times because of my slightly fanciful nature. I believe every moment in life deserves a soundtrack. Playing songs during occasions helps me to remember the event. Have you ever noticed that songs trigger certain memories? During my trip to Stanford for the Junior Statesmen of America summer program, "Party Rock Anthem" was played almost every day. Now every time I hear that song, I remember the weekend dances outside the dormitory. I also like to think of my portable media player as a type of autobiography. What songs I listen to give a brief description of my personality. The fact that I listen to French music shows my interest in other countries' culture. You can also tell that I am lively person by the number of times I have listened to "Moves Like Jagger." My iPod does not just play eight hundred of my favorite songs; it carries precious memories with each song, and provides me with a chance to escape into a land of rhythm and blues and all that jazz. Now put on my earphones and hear the world from my perspective.

Undergraduate / Stanford: Intellectual Vitality (A Hunger for Knowledge) [NEW]

Stanford is the last college I need to send my application to and it would mean a lot if you guys critique my essay! :-) I'll return the favor.

I eat about seven meals daily, and I spend half of my allowance eating in restaurants and the nearest café. You can obviously tell that I have an obsession with food, but my fascination for all things edible does not stop at the dinner table. Now I've been told countless of times not to play with my food, but my penchant for experimenting with what I eat often overcomes me. This strange hobby probably started at the age of nine, when my mother served us boiled eggs for lunch. Disappointed with how the eggs looked, I bought a dozen of eggs at the supermarket to achieve the perfect boiled egg. It took seven minutes for the yolk to achieve an orange-yellow hue. Boiling the egg in salted water resulted in an egg whose shell was easy to remove. The trickiest job was keeping the yolk in the center of the egg. After several attempts, I finally came up with the conclusion that the egg needed to be spun around while boiling. This would cause the yolk to stay in place as it was solidifying. Now we always have flawless deviled eggs. Sometimes, as I take a bite out of a dish, my initial reaction is not "Delicious!" but "How?". Curious as to how tiny jellybeans were manufactured, I spent hours researching the process of making jellybeans. I also enjoy linking food with health and lifestyle. My mother is a self-proclaimed chocoholic, but I questioned the medical accuracy behind chocolate addiction. My research has concluded that although chocolate contains theobromine and tryptophan, chocoholism is nothing more than social construct. As an Asian, it always baffled me how the Japanese diet greatly contrasted with the American diet. After delving deep into the lifestyles of each country, it wasn't so shocking anymore. Whether it's finding out the truth behind food advertisements (makes you want to think twice about drooling over that burger), or enjoying the chemistry that goes into creating a meringue, food has always spurred my curiosity. Just as the day I stop eating will never arrive, so will my hunger for knowledge never be satisfied.

Undergraduate / Stanford Essay: Whipped Cream [4]

Hello~I am turning in my Stanford Application VERY SOON, and I need help on grammatical errors, etc. Please have a look and give your thoughts. I will look at yours too. Thanks! :-)

"Mommy, how did you get the liquid to turn all creamy?" I was seven years old, and it was my first encounter with whipped cream. I watched with amazement as she placed a dab of cream on top of each cupcake. "It's magic, darling." For three more years, I continued to believe that whipped cream just miraculously appeared in the bowl. However, when I turned eleven, I started to question the validity of my mother's words. As she was whipping cream for coffee, I confronted her. "Mom, how did the liquid turn into cream? I know it's more than magic." She placed her egg beater on the counter and looked at me. "I've been giving you that response all these years in hopes that you would find out how on your own. You see, curiosity may have killed the cat, but it has led us to discover the world around us." I sat down in my rocking-chair, meditating on my mother's words, and then ran back to the kitchen. "Can we visit the library, Mom? I really want to know." My experience with whipped cream did more than just introduce me to basic chemistry. It has taught me to take the initiative to research and answer my own questions. At the age of seventeen, my questions are far more complex. Whether it is researching the medical accuracy behind chocolate addiction, or experimenting on how to cook perfect, hard-boiled eggs, I always find myself in search for answers. Smart people will ask questions, but those who are truly dedicated to learning will not only wonder but also satisfy that craving for knowledge. My mother was right when she told me the world was discovered through curiosity. There are still a plethora of questions I have yet to answer, but one thing is for sure: I will not take "It's magic!" for an answer.