Undergraduate / Stanford essey "what matters to you"; Music - my avid obsession [8]

Hey guys. Please read this rough draft of my stanford supplemental essay. This is my first draft so I am sure it is full of grammatical errors. Does it answer the prompt clearly enough?

The distinctive sound of needle dropping on vinyl made a quick appearance then vanished in the place of overbearing silence. The sustained quietness amplified the sense of anticipation. And then, it started. The unmistakably potent riffs of Jimmy Page on "Whole Lotta Love" shattered the silence and drove both my dad's and my own head into a state of incessant and vigorous bobbing. Robert Plant's incensed wailing gave us both that euphoric feeling it had the first 100 time we had listened to it. Although no words were being exchanged between us both my dad and myself sense exactly what eachother is feeling.

It had always been this way between us; while we had a good relationship otherwise, music gave our relationship a much deeper bond. Ever since my dad had originally played Led Zeppelin 2 for me, I was hooked on the classic rock sound. Fortunately for me, I had a dad that was extremely knowledgable regarding this genre of music. Everytime we would sit down to listen to a new album we were brought on the same journey. The music had an equalising effect on us. No matter what our emotional or mental state was prior to putting on the album, the music put both of us on the same plane in that we were both reacting to what we heard in the same way. This situation is strikingly similar when it is with my friends. Replace my room with a car and the old phonograph with an auxillary plug and you have a group of people that are relating to eachother on a very basic, yet, profound level. .Sharing this feeling of inter connectedness for an extended period of time is something truly unique and doing so forges a strong bond between all people listening that cannot be achieved by anything other than music.

While music has been an avid obsession of mine for a long time, it is what music does when listened to it in groups that has given me the most. Put simply, music does what words cannot. Our collective love of classic rock has forged an unbreakable connection between us that has improved alll facets of our relationship. As far as I am concerned, this unsaid understanding we both have of eachother is a direct result of the times music has spoken to us rather than the times we have spoken to each other.

Undergraduate / Greetings fellow Stanfor Admit; Stanford roommate essay [6]

I tried to be funny so tell me if any of the humor doesnt land. First draft so tolerate grammatical errors

Greetings fellow Stanfor Admit. What follows is the mandatory letter per the request of the satnford admission ofifices. Personally, I find the concept of writing to someone before you've gotten a chance to meet down with them a bit ridiculous, but what else do you expect from the most prestigious university in the world. I mean, isn't writing letters completely antiquated anyway? Nevertheless, these are the three things that you should know about me

1. First thing you need to know is that I stay up late, really late. The main cause of this is, as you might have guessed, the internet. There is just too much interesting, yet completely impractical, knowledge on the internet to ever get more than 6 hours of sleep. One night it migh be watching a marathon of Ted Talks videos and the next it might be reading the wikipedia page for Mongolian cuisine. I simply love so much of the obscurity presented in the world and the internet makes it all the more accessible

2. There is nothing I enjoy more than a good spirited debate. That being said, there is nothing that disappoints me more than someone who is unopinionated, as a Stanford admit I will assume that you do not fit that desciption. Regardless of how insignificant the topic, I will challenge even the slightest difference in opinion. I do this for two reasons; Primarily because I am always right, but also because I love the challenge of being able to back up and reaffirm the beliefs I hold.

3. Lastly, I am randomly stricken with a case of spontenaeity about once a month. Most of the time I am a fairly orderly person that likes to follow a loosely structured schedule, but about once a week I am suddenly compelled by irrationality. This affliction has landed me with a three day suspension for attempting to streak at my highschool's football game, but it has also given me some of the memories I value the most. So if you are a vey orderly person we will get along six of the seven days of the week.

I have absolutely no Idea what you might be thinking about me after reading this, but I can assure you with absolute uncertainty that your initial impression is absolutely probably right.

Undergraduate / 'Engineers can craft and create' - UC essay "your world" prompt [6]

tell me what you guys think

Growing up, I assumed that my society was representative of the rest of the world. I believed that every subsection of people got along harmoniously just as the people in my community did. Little did I know the world is host to an extraordinary amount of conflict. As I learned more about the true nature of my world, I realized that conflicts that occur between different societies are brought upon by deliberate ignorance

Once while watching CNN with my parents, a piece on the Iraq war came on the television. I couldn't fathom what caused these scenes of mass destruction. An even more puzzling moment came later when my parents attempted to usher me out of the room. "Wait ...but why," I cried. "Well Sometimes people have disagreements honey," they answered. This response perplexed me; no one ever had these types of misunderstandings in my own community. The next night I saw the pundits on CNN spouting inflammatory hate towards the entire country of Iraq and the entire religion of Islam and my parents nodding in confident agreement. I realized that this rash and reactionary demeanor was a defining characteristic of my community, as well as communities across America. Discovering the way my world taught prejudice as a way of assessing someone brought me to the realization that misunderstandings that cause and perpetuate violent disagreements do not take place within a society but among them. It's the people's resistance to understanding another society's way of life and perspective that causes violent upheavals to remain unresolved.

In the next period of my life I wish to educate myself at the college level due to my realization of the harm that a willingly uneducated society creates. College for me wasn't a given; No one in my family ever pressured me to apply. Yet, I am applying because I sincerely wish to further my global awareness. In addition, hopefully I won't only be able to gain knowledge of the different cultures and ways of life that inhabit the world, but actually improve upon the way societies interact through my area of study: engineering.

Engineers not only have a solid understanding of the way the world works, but they can craft and continually create an idealized living environment. When civil engineers create a new bridge or the infrastructure for a new library they are facilitating a mutual understanding between different societies. When a computer science major creates the next app that is able to transform the spoken word of one language into that of another he is actively participating in creating a more tolerant and understanding world. As I grow older I see the detriment my society unknowingly causes more clearly everyday. Coming from this world has undoubtedly been the catalyst in shaping my dreams of a college education and aspirations of a career in engineering

Undergraduate / 'Divorce. A conversation with my parents' - UC essay #2 [3]

tell me what you guys think. do I need to talk about what Ive leaned/how Ive changed as a result more?

Around the time I entered the second grade my life was cast into complete turmoil. When my parents sat me and my five year old sister down I could sense that the conversation would not be positive.

Divorce.

Despite not completely comprehending the word, my heart sunk as soon as it escaped my parents' mouths. They were no longer going to be living together, my parents further explained. The simple statement: "we won't be living together anymore," flooded my clearly unprepared 8 year-old mind with an infinite amount of seemingly unsolvable questions. Who would I live with? Was I at fault? Is this permanent? I broke down in a deep sob.

While the tears only lasted a few minutes, this somber mood lasted for months. I said nothing more than what was absolutely necessary to the people I begrudgingly called my parents. On the day my father moved out I hid in my room childishly sulking, fixated on the terrible situation my parents had caused. Little did I realize the negative effect I was having on myself

While lying in my room I heard the laughter of my sister. Hearing this expression of joy that had so abruptly left my life sparked my realization that happiness was still possible in this divisive climate. Despite my parents' divorce remaining intact, I left my room that night without tears in my eyes. Although feelings of unease still ran rampant inside of me, the way I acted and things I said were not like they were before. Rather, I chose to conduct myself in a positive manner. Eventually, I saw that my choice to behave positively improved the well-being of my entire family, fostering a supportive environment in my home that was not there prior to my attitude change. Over time, our collective plight was transformed in part through a sequence of deliberate choices I made. Witnessing the reverberations of my own behavior opened my eyes to the power that my free will wields over the direction of my life.

Now, as I look back upon this experience, I am most proud of the positive path I set myself on through my deliberate attitude change. The positive environment I helped to create illustrates my ability to directly impact myself and those around me through my behavior. At such a vulnerable age, this divorce could have had a permanent and traumatic effect on me, yet this ordeal spurned the realization of my own true power.

This ordeal I had to go through was not something I would wish on my worst enemy. However, it has changed me in a way that is undeniably positive. As a result of my parents' divorce I am now a person that will never simply make a decision based on my immediate and superficial desires. Instead, using my knowledge of the internal power of attitude and choice, I can make decisions that will support the continual development of myself and all those ultimately impacted by my decisions.

Undergraduate / 'Designing systems and structures' - UC essay "your world" [4]

I come from a very artistically inclined family. Whether it is my sister's acting, mother's paintings, or father's guitar playing, I am constantly being exposed to the visual and performing arts. Growing up, I loved art. I relished being able to design and craft what I was envisioning . However, as I grew older and the painting utensils changed from fingers to brushes it was apparent that my technical ability did not match my creative fire. Then there was the period of time in which I attempted to learn the guitar from my dad. I had always loved classic rock, and the idea of writing and creating my own music out of thin air fascinated me endlessly. However, much like painting, I found that my fingers were too slow and uncoordinated to run up and down the fret board with any sort of proficiency.

I was at a loss. There were all sorts of inspiring design and creation going on all around me, but I was simply incapable of producing the ideas being held captive in my head. At this point in time I thought I was destined for a mundane life in a cubicle looking over financial returns. My skill in mathematics and lack of a creative output had seemingly trapped me. When I really considered it though, the notion of my life being condemned to this was something I simply could not accept when I saw the creativity taking place within my own household that I longed so desperately to be a part of. So Instead, with my family members open expression and creativity as motivation, I began to look for what I could do combining my love for creativity and design and proficiency in mathematics. Civil engineering is what I found.

While it may seem completely mundane to others, the intricacies of the design of bridges or the placement of a storm drain as to make sure a site drains correctly fulfilled everything I wanted in a profession. I would have the ability to design systems and structures on an extremely large scale and I could use my innate analytical and mathematical skills to ensure this design was feasible. My internship at a civil engineering office has further inspired my aspirations to study civil engineering and dreams of a career in the field. When I see an engineer at my office design a specific portion of a building plan it ignites my fervent passion for innovation, and when I see this engineer use a myriad of mathematical calculations to ensure the design will work I am elated by the fact that I can finally participate in my own unique form of creativity. When I look back at my past considering of a standard career in business, I realize the deep gratitude I owe to my family for inspiring me to find my own individual form of self-expression using my individual skill set.

Undergraduate / Duke engineering essay; 'I come from an artistically inclined family' [5]

A few things: Alright so I know this is kind of long. Should it be cut down? Also the prompt say 1-3 paragraphs. should I make an effor to condense into 3? If so, where?

I come from an artistically inclined family. Whether it is my sister's acting, mother's paintings, or father's guitar playing, I am constantly exposed to the visual and performing arts. Growing up, I loved art. I relished being able to design, craft, and make tangible what was once in my head. However, as I grew older and the painting utensils changed from fingers to brushes I came to realize that my technical ability in the arts did not match my creative fire. I was at a loss as to how I could express my inner thirst for design. While my father had quick and dexterous finger, my mother had an eloquent and graceful brush stroke, and my sister had the ability to draw in an audience, all I had was my demonstrated skill in mathematics. So, I began looking for way in which I could combine my proficiency in math and love of creative design. Engineering is what I found.

Engineering merges everything I want in a professional and academic pursuit. As an engineer, I would have the ability to design systems, structures, and machines, and I could use my innate analytical and mathematical skills to ensure the feasibility of the design. For me, Engineering is my creative outlet while math is simply the tool I am equipped with to make these thoughts and ideas come to fruition. My internship at a civil engineering office has further inspired my aspirations to pursue engineering. When I see an engineer design a specific portion of a building plan it ignites my fervent passion for innovation, and when I see this engineer use a myriad of mathematical calculations to ensure the design will work, I am elated by the fact that I can truly participate in my own unique form of creativity.

At the Pratt School of Engineering I see an unabashed commitment to what is at the very core of my passion for engineering. As the fastest growing engineering program in the United Stated, Duke University boasts a plethora of recent groundbreaking discoveries that highlight its dedication to the innovative aspect of engineering. Whether it is bioengineers finding a new mechanism to increase the tolerance of antibiotics or students working to reprogram DNS, both faculty and students make the Pratt school of engineering an environment in which one would constantly be surrounded by the innovative design that originally drew me to engineering. This culture of creation offered by Pratt does not stop at the classroom. Every year undergraduate students take part in internships made possible by Pratt's annual job fair. By offering their students the ability apply what they are learning in the classroom with a company working in the field, Pratt enables its students to design and create in a real world environment. In doing this, Pratt students also learn the constraints and realities of creativity for a practical purpose, and therefore, learn to think more innovatively and realistically. Subsequently, this new and approved approach as a result of the internship will yield better overall engineers. If I were to attend Duke I would undoubtedly take advantage of the internship program as it would not only allow me to work in a creative manner, but it would also enable me to hone and refine my skill in creative and innovative thinking.

While the internship opportunities are something I will take advantage of during my time at duke, the skills duke will equip me with after my graduation have me just as excited. In the future, I see myself as the owner of my own engineering company. Both Pratt and Duke as a whole show a deep dedication to entrepreneurship. Through programs like the Duke Startup challenge and the Duke Entrepreneurship education series, Duke offers an environment in which innovative engineering and entrepreneurship are fully supported. This environment will undoubtedly have a long lasting beneficial effect on me and my dreams of owning my own engineering firm or start up company upon my graduation. As a prospective student considering Duke I see a place that is the foundation and catalyst for every academic or career related goal I wish to achieve.