Writing Feedback / IELTS: distance learning course vs traditional face-to-face course [3]

I have ielts in less than 2 days time so i am very thankful for those who helped me. please correct my essay accordingly and perhaps you could also rate it.. :)

Question:
Many universities and collages these days offer distance learning programs instead of face-to-face courses. Do you think the advantages of this new approach outweigh the disadvantages?

Ans:
Nowadays, distance learning programs are becoming more popular than ever. There are two arguments apropos to this statement, however, I personally believe that it has more positive effects than negative ones.

To begin with, distance learning program has brought many convenience as compared to the traditional face-to-face course. these types of programs usually employ the Internet as a medium to transmit education, which meant greater flexibility for both students and lecturer as they can have the access to the course material at any time. Furthermore, this kind of course structure would generally suit the working group who has limited free time at hand.

Moreover, no commuting is involved as students can basically learn their course online, and at the comfort of their own bedrooms. In a way, this also would positively contribute to the cut in carbon footprint and emission. As there are numerous options for schools, students option on getting a degree would be greatly expand as choices would further include overseas institutions that provides online learning and not only confined to local universities. Not only that, students who enrolled in distance learning programs has lower expenditure as compared to others who study in the traditional face-to-face course. This is because, online learning students do not have to worry about commuting cost and getting meal plans on campus.

In conclusion, the positive effects of distance learning course had generally outweigh the negative effects and I believe that more universities and employers would employ a more positive outlook towards distance learning programs in the near future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS:'parenting class' for parents of undisciplined children. [4]

Please help me out. i'll be taking my ielts tomorrow.. :) thank you

Q: Parents with undisciplined children should be made to follow compulsory 'parenting skills' classes where they can learn from professional teachers how to be a good parents. Do the advantages of this approach outweigh the disadvantages?

A:
Some people believe that parents of trouble-maker kids should be taught 'parenting skills' from professional educator in hope that this would reduce the number of undisciplined children in a society. The advantages and disadvantages of this method will be discussed thoroughly in this essay.

The main benefit of this approach is that it allows the government to fix the issue from its root of problem. To be exact, parents are child's first exposure to the outside world, therefore, it is believed that parents with good attitude will pass them to their children. As a result, children with responsible and disciplined parents will be most likely to grow into a disciplined adult and vice versa.

That said, undoubtedly there is also drawback to this solution. One important disadvantage is that this solution does not address the problem since there are many contributors that causes a child to be undisciplined. The attitude of their parents is only one of them, along with bad media, culture and friend influences. Therefore, forcing parents of undisciplined child to take up 'parenting skills' classes would only waste the government resources and money and not solve the problem.

In conclusion, the advantage and disadvantage of this approach are equally important and that the government should investigate the matter more deeply before deciding on a solution. One possible solution could be to make undisciplined child to take up 'disciplinary classes' instead of 'parenting skills' classes for their parents.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: conflict with parents a necessary part of growing up? [3]

I'm taking my ielts tomorrow. please help me out. thank you.

Q: Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others view it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A:
Adolescence is a difficult stage of everyone's lives, thus conflict between parents and teen might happen in the process of growing up. Critics may view this in the negative light, however other assert that it is a part of maturing into adulthood.

The arguments in favour of this would generally based their view that the clash between teenagers and parents is inevitable in the early adulthood stage, This is because teenagers are starting to think independently at this stage, so the conflict of interest with their parents are unavoidable. In the west, this is seen in the positive light - as opposed to the negative view of many Asian cultures. Western culture depict this clashing as a way which teenagers try to 'break free' from their parent's clutch, and their wanting of living independently.

However, there are strong arguments against this view because others perceived that it is rude and insolence toward their parents. Those who hold these views are typically Asian cultures. These cultures practises the submission of teenage to parents as a way of showing respect, and of course, this means no conflicting of interest between both parties. This is because 'conflict' is seen as being rebellious, as opposed to being independent in the Western cultures.

In conclusion, I personally think that teenagers should not be in total submission to their parents as it will kill the trait of thinking independently. Children should communicate closely with their parents and accept their view points as a guideline. Furthermore, if children were isolating themselves within the narrow confines of their age group, it would only limit their view of the world and preventing them from growing up in the best possible way.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: causes and solution of work-related stress [3]

I will be taking my ielts tomorrow. please help me out :) thank you

Q: The problem caused by work-related stress (such as loss of productivity) have become a concern for both employers and workers. What do you think are the main causes of work-related stress and how can they be avoided?

A:
Work-related stress is a serious problem that cost company millions of dollars as a result of declining in productivity of the employee. This problem need to be addressed quickly as it will result in negative effects for both employee and employer, if not treated. Employee that are stressed will be prone to mental health problem such as depressed, which in turn will lead to a build-up of chronic diseases if exposed to prolonged stress. This essay will discuss the causes of work-related stress and offer some solutions.

The first cause of workplace stress is the fact that most employee complaining of feeling useless in their workplace. Employee felt this way due to the management style that seclude them in from decision making practices. Their voice are not heard and opinion are not needed. Therefore, this issue can be resolved by including employee in decision making and listening to their opinions. This way they would feel that they are an important asset of the company and that their opinion counts. Therefore, subsequently increasing the productivity rate.

The second cause of stress in workplace is the enormous workload burden that employee shouldered. It is often an unrealistic burden and sometimes they feel as if they are singled out. The way which employer ordered them to do tasks add to the problem as well. This issue can be resolved by changing the management practices of giving order into persuading employee to do a certain task. Furthermore, employer can persuade them by special persuading tools that top company's management system employ, they are expectation, acknowledgement and also rewarding system. These tools would work well to persuade and also motivate them in doing their job.

To sum up, it is clear that the main causes of work stress are the workload burden and the feeling of uselessness. This ailment can be prevented by including them in decision making, motivating them and persuading them into doing their job rather than giving orders.