Writing Feedback / Break after high school has advantages and disadvantages [8]

Could someone please correct my essay?

Most students concern what they are going to do after graduating high school. Taking a break within education process have both positive and negative aspects. This period is like a turning point that conduct young adults towards their future. Below, I will discuss advantage and disadvantages.

Firstly, working or traveling before attending university career have some advantages. This period would prepare a time for adults to explore the world by traveling to get an idea for the career they want to choose. Moreover, this break is a chance to take some rest and have pleasure in their adulthood. However, those who decide to work during this period will get a chance to be independent and also gain experience in working sphere.

Though, there are some disadvantages in having a one year time between the end of high school and enrolling university courses. First, some young people believe that this gap will waste their time in their process of education. Also, this gap is like a turning point that disorients them from pursuing their education. Some youths would find it no more interesting and give up educating. Therefore, they will join the work area without having a profound knowledge or professional skill.

Totally, working or traveling before attending university would have both advantages and disadvantages. From positive view, it may help young people to make a wiser decision about their career due to experiences they have collected during this one year. On negative side, this gap can push them away from pursuing their education. In conclusion, whether it has positive or negative impact on their future depends on their own decision.

Thanks

Writing Feedback / Should children be encouraged to compete or co-operate? Discuss [4]

Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss

Researchers claim that human personality is formed during childhood development. During this period, children learn basic skills that they will use later in their life. One of these fundamental skills is the ability of social communication. Whether competing or coordinating in a group is the topic of my discussion.

On one hand, every person should have the ability of competing in various situations. In school those children who have the sense of competition would be able to become the top student and even succeed in getting scholarship to attend college. Thus individual's accomplishments during their education and career would be the result of developing the competition skill during their childhood. Although, feeling competitive, they may lose to collaborate where it is needed.

On the other hand, some approaches require cooperating between group members in order to handle the specific task. For example, during higher education career, students should have the ability of collaborating in an organized group to handle a project. The better one can cooperate with his/her partners, the higher chance he/she might have to succeed in his/her field. However, if children be taught just to cooperate in any environment, they may be pushed back by their competitors or even being overused.

Overall, Psychologically, children are at the most important stage of their life span. Individual accomplishments go back to what they had been taught and what skills they had learnt during their childhood. Therefore, children should be persuaded to develop both skills of competing and cooperating in order to use each of them at the right situation.

Writing Feedback / Nature Vs Nurture; What is more important? Inborn characteristics or Experience? [4]

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Whether our inborn characteristics are more responsible in our resultant personality or any experiences we will make, has been the topic of discussion among scientists under the title of "Nature vs Nurture" for years. Biologists believe that the only factor behind individual's personality is his genome. In contrast, socio-biologists argue that the environment and experiences that one gains during his life, build his personality. I am inclined to believe that the traits we are born with are more responsible genetically in building human's personality.

To begin with, human's personality is genetically determined when he/she is born. Although some behavioral traits are acquisitive, however, the main character behind it won't be changed fundamentally. For instance, someone who has an irritable temperament may learn how to control her aggressiveness when she gets irritated, but she won't be modified to a new person who is calm and cold blooded.

Secondly, some characteristics are hereditary. In addition, when you are born, you have already inherited some part of your personality from your parents. From the point of family resemblance, you can see a father and his son are mutual in some characteristics. In spite of the fact that they have had different experiences in their lives, their main personalities have not got changed. This is why criminals do not come from families with dignity.

On the whole, human's development is the result of both initial characteristics and later experiences. However, there should be a background so as to get exposed to life experiences. Though, this background that is formed by genetics, is inconvertible.

Writing Feedback / Eaqual number of male & female students in universities [5]

Nowadays the tendency to attend university careers is progressively raising among both males and females. In parallel, gender issue has increasingly become a topic of discussion in terms of university career admission. In my opinion, volunteers should enroll academic careers due to their interest and qualification regardless of their gender with the following reasons.

Firstly, it is clear that males and females are physically and psychologically different. Female gender is more likely to be sensitive and theoretical compared with male gender. Moreover, girls are known to be physically weaker than boys. Therefore, since women and men are qualified for particular careers depend on their abilities, applying a specific proportion between two genders, whether it is in favor of girls or boys, is not a proper policy (or mechanism).

Secondly, every person has a specific talent in a particular field. Therefore, universities should accept students due to their qualification, not depending on a pre-determined (fixed) proportion forcibly. Thus, some specific academic careers may be attracted more by men and reversely some more by women.

Overall, each gender has some specific abilities and talents and more specifically every person has his/her own capabilities. Thus, it is not fair to consider a limited capacity for each gender in order to push them through enrolling academic courses. Students should be free to choose their field of interest and universities should be free to admit those who are more qualified for each career.

Writing Feedback / Can a child be taught talents or he is born with talents? [5]

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own point.

Every individual has a special ability. Though, it does not mean that he/she can not learn other skills. In schools, children are oriented towards fields that they are more skillful at. However, some students may be pushed towards fields that they are not qualified enough at, but forcibly by their families. Although the latter group could succeed in those careers, but the first group will be more prosperous.

It is popularly claimed that, every person is made for a specific job. Furthermore, children find themselves more capable in the field that they are more interested in. In particular, we all have heard at least one famous music by Beethoven. Although he was deaf, but he was a genius musician who had an extraordinary ability in playing piano and writing piano sheet musics. Therefore, every person should discover his talent at the first place so that she can utilize her full ability ( or one hundred percent ability) in her life.

People also argue that individuals are multi-talented. Therefore, they can strengthen their skills by practicing and focusing on it. For instance, every person can become a sport person by rehearsing a lot. Though, those who are genius in a specific sport field can be a better professional sport person by taking a shorter period of rehearsing.

Overall, it is a fact that children can achieve every career that they have intended to start. However, there are some careers that children are capable to accomplish perfectly. In either condition, they should be taught fundamental rules and knowledges. Nonetheless, in my opinion, being talented in a field that you attend, the efficiency in response to a certain amount of effort will be higher and also you would become more expert than others

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: fixed punishment vs adjustable punishment. discuss [4]

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others. However, argue that circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account. Discuss both side and give your opinion

Nowadays, rate of committing crime is progressively increasing throughout the world. However, authorities are looking for solutions to dwindle crime's rate, replacing it with the rise of security in the society. Some people claim that there should be a determined punishment for each crime. While others believe that punishment rules should be flexible and adjustable depends on the situation that the subject was in and the purpose behind it.

On one hand, laws are established to define the framework in which people can freely act in without breaking rules. Since law is one of fundamental bases of a country that introduces discipline and stability to that country, it should be fixed in order to be taken serious. In particular, murder is murder, no matter who has committed the crime or why, he should be punished according to the law. Moreover, if someone thinks of the law as an adjustable element, the possibility that he commits crime will raise.

On the other hand, sometimes a crime may be committed by a person inadvertently. Furthermore, we are not born as a criminal, but if every one of us encounters a critical situation that ceases our ability of thinking, he/she may do something out of rules. Therefore, in such cases authorities should consider the motivation and the circumstance of the crime to mediate the intensity of punishment.

Taking all above in to the account, in my opinion, rules are laid down equally for everyone. However, if individuals be ware of consequences of breaking rules, they will less likely tend to commit crimes. If this trend continues, there is a chance that number of crimes which are committing, decline considerably in the future.

Writing Feedback / IELTS ; Job satisfaction and individual well being / What factors& How realistic ? [5]

As most people spend a major part of their life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Job satisfaction is a complex definition which is determined by various fundamental factors, resulting in the ultimate possible progress of the company. Most adults start working immediately after graduating from school, considering themselves to get involved in the development of their society, making money and more importantly, being independent . Regarding that, they look for a job that has more privileges for employees.

To commence with, job fulfillment consists of several factors that have been united together in a way that even elimination of one of them would result in the lack of job satisfaction. Money, for instance, is the first incentive issue for applying a job. In particular, as young people are at their very initiate steps of indepencey and improvement, they pay too much attention to the salary they earn. Furthermore, they need job security. This is a supportive issue that conducts employees to rely on their job for a long period until they get locked and loaded. Accordingly, adult employees will use their full potential capabilities in their job career.

Secondly, a comprehensive and integrated management plays an important role in preparing a pleasant ground for subordinates. A company head should make the workplace a friendly environment. Therefore, subordinates feel free to share their opinions and ideas to improve the company. However, general manager should build new opportunities for workers so they can promote in their job career.

In conclusion, job satisfaction is an effective element for individual's work efficiency. There are also various issues such as: high income, job security, progressing environment, etc. that companies' heads should care for, so as to fulfill subordinates' expectations. Finally, if this system gets performed well, corporations will benefit from its positive impacts in their near future.