Undergraduate / "GlobeMed at Emory" is one that truly sparks my interest- Emory Sup [3]

Undergraduates at Emory and Oxford Colleges are offered countless opportunities to engage with the student body, the faculty, and your academic program of choice-from hands-on research to student organizations to volunteering. What are some of the programs and/or activities you would plan to get involved with on either campus, and what unique qualities will you bring to them? (250 word limit)

Out of the many different organizations offered, "GlobeMed at Emory" is one that truly sparks my interest. This organization is a perfect fit for me, as it combines my interest in the field of health care and my delight of helping out the less fortunate people in the world. Not only is this organization a perfect match for my interests, but I also feel as if my distinctive qualities would profoundly benefit GlobeMed. One quality is my strong ambition to undertake and complete any challenge that stands in my way. GlobeMed at Emory is the ideal organization, as it lays out the many challenges of the health and health care system of impoverished people, especially in third world countries. With my ambitious nature alongside me, I would use everything in my power to not only make a difference in the lives of impoverished people around the world, but also spread awareness to friends and local communities. Another quality is my determination to give back to the world. Having been born in a wealthy family, I have had many things given to me. While I am sincerely grateful for everything that has been given to me, I still believe that it is my obligation to give back to the world that has blessed me with my amazing life. This is why I also plan to join Volunteer Emory, as it is the perfect opportunity for me to give back not only to the world, but also to a great school.

What do you guys think? I will take any criticism. Emory is my number 1 college and I really want this essay to be perfect

Undergraduate / The Cranbrook Community - A Place where i feel completely Content [3]

Option #4: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

"Thanks for ruining my life." It's hard to believe that I muttered those very words to my father three years ago when he decided to enroll me as a boarding student at Cranbrook Kingswood High School. Having to leave my friends was only the beginning of the things that crossed my mind. Fear of showering in a public place daily, social rejection, and underachievement soon engulfed my imagination as my freshmen year approached. But that was three years ago. During these past three years at Cranbrook I made friends, became overwhelmed with large amounts of schoolwork, engaged in sports, and started to grow as an adult; typical high school experience right there. However, Cranbrook has provided me with a truly unique high school experience. It has given me a sense of genuine community that I could never have found at any other high school. I know that that the friendships and bonds that I have made at Cranbrook will be with me for a lifetime. Whenever I enter the Cranbrook Kingswood campus, I feel welcomed by the loving community consisting of teachers, students, and dorm advisors. This content feeling is one that helps push me to do my best, and always aim high in life.

Prior to this I had never lived away from home for more than a week in my life. At first, I would constantly long to be home and avoid everyone that came near me. I kept to myself for the first couple of weeks and started to become depressed, as everything around me seemed to be an aura of darkness. Over the past years here, I have gradually grown a strong connection to this place and the people it holds. I can practically call my boarder friends "brothers." From our freshmen year onward, we have grown an inseparable bond. We all go through the ups and downs together, never leaving someone on their own. When two tragic deaths occurred during my freshmen and junior years, everybody in this community came together and created a bond so strong that nothing could break it. This brought warmth to my heart, as I knew right there that wherever I was, I would always have support and protection from this loving community. I had friends in my old school, but I never had a strong bond with them as I do with my friends at Cranbrook. The same applies to the teachers. I never got to know any of my old teachers personally, but I have become friends on a personal level with most of them at Cranbrook.

These strong connections make me smile every time I walk through the campus. It is just like walking through my house - always feeling welcomed and loved. The support and love from my friends and teachers helped to push me forward and allowed for me to succeed during my time here, and ultimately grow as a person. It is this community that has transformed me from a shy and naïve freshmen into an extrovert and confident senior. This community is so meaningful to me in the sense that it has given me the education, strength, and other essential tools to tackle all challenges my future holds for me.

This is my essay for the common app. Please give me all the criticism in the world. I really need this essay to be stellar. Thanks in advance

Undergraduate / Broadening Our Perspectives: An Exploration of Our Incredible Planet - Emory Supplement [3]

Imagine you are a professor, charged with teaching a new course. Emory University offers over 1,000 courses in a wide range of academic subjects. You are free to choose whatever subject you want. What class would you create? What would you hope students would leave your class having learned? (Don't forget to include your class title!) (250 word limit)

Out of the many islands in the Caribbean, about just 2% of them are inhabited. Additionally 95% of the Earth's oceans are unexplored. There is a whole world full of marvelous organisms and landscapes just waiting to be explored and discovered. Facts like these are the reason why I love to study geography in my free time, as this knowledge of Earth increases my determination to make an impact in the world. My passion for the subject of geography is the reason why I would create the class "Broadening Our Perspectives: An Exploration of Our Incredible Planet". This class, combining human and physical geography, will go over humans and their affairs on Earth. It will also include the landscapes and natural phenomenon that surround humans, and their significance to not only human life, but to life of other organisms as well. Upon leaving the class, my hope is for my students to have achieved three goals. The first goal is that they understand the significance of global interdependence, especially between humans and natural landscapes. The second goal is that my students learn and appreciate the different cultures and regions of the world, eliminating any stereotypes brought upon them. Finally, the third and most important goal is for my students to realize how big and diverse the world is. This realization will help them broaden their perspectives, allowing them to realize the countless opportunities the world provides for them, providing them with ambition to chase their dreams.

Any criticism is welcome. Emory is my number 1 school and i really need this essay to be top-notch. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / My passion for the human body - Johns Hopkins Supplement [2]

Johns Hopkins University was founded in 1876 on a spirit of exploration and discovery. As a result, students can pursue a multi-dimensional undergraduate experience both in and outside of the classroom. Given the opportunities at Hopkins, please discuss your current interests-academic or extracurricular pursuits, personal passions, summer experiences, etc.-and how you will build upon them here. (300-500 Word limit).

I think it was when I first learned what a cell is that I started to become interested in the human body. The fact that there are over trillions of cells in our bodies not only shocked me, but also sparked my curiosity. From that point on, I started to study the human body in my free time, whether it was from textbooks, glancing upon the various posters of the human body taped on my bedroom walls, or even looking through my dad's books on medicine. I soon become aware of how there are mountains of facts and information about the human body. This awareness made me determined to learn as much information as I can about the human body, and perhaps even discover new information. This ambition of mine has led me to pursue a career in medicine. Knowing that this was a big decision of mine, I wanted to be sure that I was making a right one. To help influence my decision, I started to volunteer at a hospital and partake in various summer programs on medicine. One that truly solidified my decision to pursue medicine was the National Student Leadership Conference (NSLC) on medicine and health care this past summer. During my time at NSLC, I got to perform clinical rounds, learn medical examination and surgical procedures, and attend lectures given by doctors. I found both my appreciation for doctors and my ambition to become one increase. The one moment that really influenced my decision to pursue medicine was when I overheard a conversation by two doctors. These two doctors were talking about treatment plans for a patient, and to be honest, I could not even understand half of the words in that conversation. It was like they were speaking a foreign language with their complex vocabulary. This not only increased my ambition to become a doctor and learn that "foreign language", but it also made me very enthusiastic about becoming one. This is because I know that one day I will be able to speak and understand the complex vocabulary that I heard in the conversation between the two doctors.

Being one of the best research universities in the nation, Johns Hopkins is the ideal school for my pursuit to become a doctor. Planning on majoring in biology, I hope to build a strong foundation for my future interests at Johns Hopkins by participating in its research opportunities and student organizations. One research opportunity that I feel is very beneficial and advantageous to my interests is the JHU BioREU program. This program will allow me to dig deeper into my major, and study the important fundamentals of biology its marvels. Visualizing macromolecules using the best instruments and technology available not only sounds enticing to my interest in the human body, but it also proves to be beneficial in my pursuit to become a doctor. Using the many opportunities provided by one of the top universities in the nation, I would be able to greatly build upon my pursuit towards medicine.

I will gladly take any criticism on this essay. I need this to be really good. Thanks!

Undergraduate / 2001: A Space Odyssey - A book that has greatly impacted me. Carnegie Mellon Essay [3]

List the books (if any) you've read this year for pleasure. Choose one and in a sentence describe its impact on you

2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke, Wild Trees by Richard Preston, and Freedom Summer by Bruce Watson are the three books I have read this year.

Clarke's vivid imagination and beautiful language in 2001: A Space Odyssey simply takes my breath away and changes my outlook of the night sky and the universe beyond it.

Spanning the course of millions of years, this novel travels across the far reaches of space, revealing its truly stunning and baffling nature. Beginning millions of years ago, the novel introduces hominids living in present-day Africa. Living as primitive creatures, these hominids are startled to find a black monolith in the middle of their village. Created by an unknown alien race, this monolith soon helps the hominids evolve into more sophisticated creatures. This reveals the true nature of the monolith - to promote the evolution of intelligent life. Fast-forward a couple million years and we see the human race come in contact with this monolith on the Moon. Curious about the nature of the monolith, scientists start a mission to Saturn's moons, where the monolith has sent a radio transmission. Embarking on the Discovery One mission includes David Bowman, Francis Poole, and the notorious HAL 9000 computer. This mission to the far reaches of the solar system brings to light many different motifs and ideas. These include the dangers of human innovation, the mysteries of space exploration, and evolution.

One of the truly remarkable things about this novel is how it is centered on one object - the black monolith. This object not only affects the life of different organisms living millions of years apart, but it also connects them through its function of promoting evolution. But who are the creators of this monolith and what is their true intention? This question is why this novel is so meaningful to me. Clarke ingeniously never reveals the identity of the aliens who created the monolith. He simply has these aliens observe the effects of their creation upon different life forms from an unknown location. Clarke's brilliant imagination in this novel has completely changed my perspective of the universe and its wonders.

I feel as if I can relate this novel to Carnegie Mellon. I envision Carnegie Mellon to be like the black monolith in the novel. Essentially, I view this university to be the source of my "evolution" into an adult. With its outstanding academics and numerous opportunities, Carnegie Mellon provides the essential tools for me to build upon my foundation, and eventually transform into a more confident and intelligent person, ready to take on whatever my future holds for me.

I appreciate any criticism on this essay. Thanks in advance!

Undergraduate / Biology and Economics major. The Ideal School for Me - Carnegie Mellon Supplement [3]

Please submit a one page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s).

Located three miles from downtown Pittsburgh is a place where I envision the formation of my future. Standing in the middle of "the Cut", I find myself surrounded by an institution, full of rich history and countless opportunities. It is my freshman year at Carnegie Mellon University; a place that I know holds the essential tools for my future success in life, a place that I am very ecstatic about calling "home" for the next four years.

As one of the best research universities in the nation, Carnegie Mellon appeals to my interests in a variety of ways. Its abundance of small classes enables me to better connect with my professors, and establish great relationships with them. Also, Carnegie Mellon's opportunity to have an interdisciplinary education is very convenient for me, as I am interested in studying biology and economics. Carnegie Mellon's ideal location in Pittsburgh provides me with many opportunities for internships and jobs related to my career interests. On top of all that, Carnegie Mellon's beautiful campus and diverse student body provides for a very inviting environment.

Biology is one major that I am very interested in pursuing at the Mellon College of Science. It was when I first learned what a cell is that I started to become interested in the human body. The fact that there are over trillions of cells in our bodies not only shocked me, but also sparked my curiosity. From that point on, I started to study the human body in my free time, whether it was from textbooks, glancing upon the various posters of the human body taped on my bedroom walls, or even looking through my dad's books on medicine. I soon became aware of the vast quantity of facts and information about the human body. This awareness increased my determination to learn as much information as I can about the human body, and perhaps even discover new information. This ambition of mine has led me to pursue a career in medicine. Majoring in biology at the Mellon College of Science provides me with not only a great foundation for medical school, but it would also offer me with countless research opportunities.

Economics is another major that I am very keen about studying. During the summer after my sophomore year, my dad introduced me to two finance books. After reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason, I started to become curious about how the economy worked, and how wealth is distributed. While I still plan on going to medical school, I strongly believe that I would benefit with an economics major from the Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences. A major in economics will teach me how to recognize and predict future outcomes in an economic system, and also what causes people to make certain decisions. All of these things are very valuable to learn for medical school, as doctors have to face many unanticipated outcomes, forcing them to make quick and decisive decisions.

It is now my senior year at Carnegie Mellon. Standing in the middle of "the Cut", I start to take a step. While I don't know in what direction I am heading towards, I am very confident that my path will lead me to a bright future with the essential tools for success I have acquired during my time at Carnegie Mellon.

I will gladly take any criticism. Thanks in advance for your help!