Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task II The internet has transformed the way information [5]

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Enormous number of people believe that the internet has been imposing people to give and take an information. Surprisingly, there are large number of negative impact for the human being. However, the society can take steps to address such drawbacks. These problems and solutions will be obviously explained in paragraphs below.

Surfing in the internet is a phenomenon that brings great convenience and efficiency. But, there are some potensial risks that presented by this phenomenon. Firstly, social media involves personal information that most people enable to see. If the user carelessness, anyone can have access to that information. Secondly, it is obvious that there is a sharp rise in the number of cyber crimes. More and more ciber crimes such as human selling and prostitutions are committed via the internet. It is well-known as ciber crime, for example, recently there is a accident that someone was hacked a billboard to show unpleasant content in south Jakarta. Finally, an internet-addicted person tend to be isolated, self-centered and unsociable. They have no much time to make a face-to-face communication.

To answer the problem in previous part, there are three sollutions that might solve the problems. From government side, the authority can make a regulation to inhibit demerit of this strugle condition like a rule that give maximum punishment to suspect of ciber crime. Next, the drawback of internet can be reduced by combination between government and technology. It could be a center office that authority possessed. It can inspect the user that potentional to do an illegal movement on the virtual world. But apart of previous sollutions, education is a vital aspect to minimize the disastrous effect of internet. People that using internet have to know what the benefits of internet that can help and what the drawbacks that can degradate their life.

To recapitulate, government, technology and education have essential role to deal with decreasing effect of using internet.

Writing Feedback / Mott Hall Bridges Academy opened in 2012 that have simple target: open a school to close a prison [5]

Why open a school? To close a prison - Nadia Lopez

Mott Hall Bridges Academy opened in 2012 that have simple target: open a school to close a prison. It is located in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn, one of the most underserved and violent neighborhoods in all of New York city. In the early opening, they face numerous of challenges like finding teacher who can emphatize with the complexities of disadvantaged community, and lack of funding technology, low parental involvement, and neighborhood gangs that recruit childern as early as fourth grade. For the first class, they just have 45 children who want to join in this school. Some student in ths school have different goal such as be engineers, scientists, entrepreneurs, and even leaders who can and will take over this world. As a result, by some struggle process, they have had three graduating classes, a a 98 per cent graduating rate. It make this school going to some of the most competitive high schools in New York City.

Writing Feedback / Communication via Internet - it simulates a simple dialogue like people had done in the past. [2]

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messanging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past.

To what extent do you agree?

These days, making a conversation with other people in the internet is so common in the society. Some people believe that it eradiates a simple dialogue like people had done in the past. I totally believe with this projection and this essay be able to discuss about some reasons why it would happen.

The reason why people tend to make some discussions via internet more easy. This is because there are lavish number of social media that give simplicity to talk with people who far from our place. For example, most people now have gadget such mobile phone. They can use it to communicate with their family, client or customer. As a result, people do not neccesitate to move from their own place and almost all of people fell convenient to do that. There is no doubt that this could change the ancient manner of conversation.

In addition from the previous reasons, there are some factors why recent people are more likely to choose modern-chat. To begin, in the modern period people need a technology to support their daily life. For example, sometimes worker who have hectic schedule in their office use a social media to consult with their colleague. Futhermore, most people believe that talking in the facebook, taking as an example, is more economical than face-to-face communication. To illustrate, they tend to open their mobile phone if they want to communicate than have to go out from their house.

To sum up, the predominant factors as a reason why communicate via internet more common these days are more ease, cheap, and can help busy employees. Without a doubt i extremely believe that social media can vanish the ancient talk method.

Writing Feedback / Obstruction of the education progress - there are no specific colleges [2]

Summary TED: Do School kill creativity

The speaker name is Sir Ken Robinson, at that time they talk about the real human creativity. Robinson is a person who is fascinated to education, he said it is because education can bring people to know other aspect like religion, economic and technology.

Nowadays there is condition that is obstructing the progress of education. It is because almost all area in the intercontinental have same system education such subject in their curriculum. They give extra attention for mathematics and language, while humanity has position in the bottom. He said the predominant problem is there is no specific colleges. The specific colleges mean school or university that convey materials to their student partially. This university provides all subjects with same proportion one and another. For example, student who want to be a musician, they just teach about guitar, piano, drum and other equipment that have correlation between their job in the future. He firmly trust with his sentiment could growth the inspiration of the scholar.

Writing Feedback / The government has predominant role to inhibit the crime level increase [4]

Each year, the crime rate increases.
What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

According to some research, level of crime steadly increase in the world. Some people or group of people who have authority have to create a new policy to tackle this terms. This essay be able to discuss about the causes and sollutions to solve this condition.

Some people believe that there are two causes of deliquency: from suspect and victim side. Wrongdoing such theft can occur when the victim careless. To illustrate, sometimes there is a unaware person who take their treasure at random place. It give opportunity to other person to commit a crime. On the other hand, a crime often occurs because the condition of the victim requires to do a misconduct. It indicate that crime have two predominant reasons.

Apart from the provious problems, there are some ways that local government can use to tackle this trend. Firstly from education side, the authority has to make an educational activity that transfer knowlegde about how to shield a crime. For example, the local police can organize an event which describes how to protect our family from case of crime. Secondly from technology side, the government can applicate a piece of modern technology which can decrease level of wrongdoing. One example that springs to mind is using close-circuit television (CCTV) in some public areas such as park and central market. In conclusion, government has main role to solve a crime.

All in all, even thought the level of crime always increases these days, the government has predominant role to inhibit this terms. I totally believe that the authority can reduce delincuency with using ways such i illustrates above.