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Posts by zhoudongzhou
Joined: Aug 28, 2009
Last Post: Nov 18, 2009
Threads: 5
Posts: 16  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 21
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Nov 18, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Essay #1: My family and my dreams [5]

You should make your essay more organized.Do not throw everything out at one time.That will make readers feel confusing.
Sep 23, 2009
Student Talk / How could this happen? (transferring problem) [4]

I have told with a representative from the university I am going to apply. He said the school will not see the personal statement even though I have done with my application form. The only thing I need to focus is my GPA and 60 min units done in community college. Based on my current GPA,he lets me sign a agreement which guarantee my admission if I finish 60 min units and GPA is above the min requirement.

In my understanding,that means the personal statement is useless and if I keep my current GPA,I will get admitted.

I am curious that how could personal statement being useless? The university does not pay more attention to personal statement?

Can anyone here explain how this work?
Sep 20, 2009
Student Talk / Six "W" on transcript! [8]

I plan to transfer to UC riverside(Fall 2010).My current GPA is 3.65. But I have had 6 "W" on my transcript. Even though the "W" does not count against my GPA,but I am afraid these "W" may have negative effect for my admission decision. I drop these classes becasue I do not want to get a bad grade to lower my GPA too much. Currently,I have finished reataking these classes and get at least a "B". Can anyone here help me? Will the negative effect being removed?
Sep 20, 2009
Undergraduate / "better interpersonal relationship" - UC Prompt #2 [10]

Prompt #2 (all applicants)

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I have noticed that good interpersonal relationships are based on trust and communication. It was the same for my employee-boss relationship. Four summers ago, as the storage manager of a book store, my responsibilities involved counting books and data management.

On my first day at work, my co-worker warned me that it was hard to deal with the employee-boss relationship because of my boss's irascible attitude and strictness toward new employees. For example, a previous new employee at my position had missed counting one book on his third week at work. My boss Mrs. Shi thought the new employee could not handle the job responsibility and criticized him severely because of the missed count. But the employee thought that such a mistake could not be avoided and the criticism should not be tolerated. Therefore, he resigned. After hearing my co-worker's description, I thought that there must be a way to have a better relationship with Mrs. Shi.

On my second week at work, Mrs. Shi criticized my slow working efficiency. She told me that I might not have enough ability to handle the job responsibilities. However, I thought this was unreasonable because I finished every day's task on time, but she expected me to finish faster. I decided to keep working. After experiencing her criticism, when Mrs. Shi found me continuing to work on the day after she criticized me, she gave me a big smile and acknowledged the work I had done. I was surprised by her swiftly changing attitude. I wondered why she criticized first and then praised me.

After talking with Mrs. Shi, she told me that she worried about stealing after the company experienced a huge loss in the second year the book store was opened. During that year, the new storage manager was caught stealing a large amount of books because he wanted extra cash. He did not provide correct inventories. After experiencing that event, Mrs. Shi lost trust in new employees. She decided to give new employees an "exam" to prove their faith for the company so that they would not give up when facing unexpected difficulties or challenges. The "exam" was the criticism from Mrs. Shi and her improper attitude was part of the "exam." My persistence and concentration for my job gained the trust of my boss. In addition, the personal chat was a plus for my employee-boss relationship. Later, Mrs. Shi thanked me for my tolerance through her "exam."

This experience taught me that an outgoing personality and sincerity are the keys to deal with interpersonal relationships. For example, I have more friends than before after I recognized that I must talk more and have a tolerant attitude with the people around me. I feel proud that I have a lot of friends now. The working experience changed me from an incommunicative person to communicative. I know that I may have more challenging courses in a University of California campus than in a community college. The classes may require more group working, but I love challenges. What I have learned through this working experience will help me with my interpersonal relationships on the UC campus. That will make things such as group projects and my academic performance more effective.
Sep 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Employee Boss Relationship--- UC personal statment prompt #2 [9]

Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

I had been working in a book store for one year when I was in San Francisco. My position was the storage manager of the book store. The job responsibility was to count and put the data relate to the number of the books into a computer when the new books were coming and the books were taken out from storage. It also required making an arrangement for all books according to their classifications. At the first day I started working in the book store, my colleagues reminded me that I needed to be very careful to deal with the relationship with boss (my colleagues and I call her "Mrs.Shi") because her temper was irascible. Previously, many people who were working at my current position could not endure the temper of Mrs.Shi and resigned by themselves in first three months after start working. The boss had very bad evaluations for them. Actually, I had the same feeling that it was hard to deal with the employee boss relationship with Mr.Shi at the beginning of several weeks. For example, Mrs.Shi would feel angry even though I missed counting one book. She took care about how clean the storage was very carefully even though I thought I have made the storage clean enough. But such difficulties did not prevent me to be successful in the end. When I must leave the book store because the working place of my father was changed which result in a house moving, Mr.Shi hoped me to keep working in the book store and left me a high standard evaluation .After I resigned my job, I made a summary about how I was changing and then having a good employee boss relationship. First, I tried to talk with Mr.Shi during the closed time of the book store. That made my employee boss relationship closer than the beginning. I got more detail about the working requirement from Mr.Shi. In addition, I tried to make some gifts for my boss at some special days such as her birthday which made Mr.Shi have a good feeling for me. Last of all, I kept hard working and good personal character. I always started my working earlier and left the book store late. Also, I was an honesty person. I never cheated my boss. The biggest concern my boss told me that she was very nervous for the cheating because some previous employees had stolen some books from the company but never told her the fact. My good personal character and hard working attitude were the main reasons Mr.Shi thought I was different like some other employees and trustable. These three actions I had done were the key to make me have a good relationship with Mr.Shi when I ended up with my job. I thought this working experience was very important to me because this was the first job through my personal life. I learned how to deal with employee boss relationship through this experience. I felt proud not only because I won the good evaluations from my boss but also I showed my good personal character and improved some of my other characters. I am a person who is honest on every person and everything. But I am not very outgoing and having humors. Through this job, I try to become more outgoing to communicate with my boss. This job really trained me to become more talkative with others than before. I am happy that I have had this working experience.

Note: For every one here, I really feel sorry about my poor and bored writing skills. I have had my personal experiences for both UC personal statement prompt. I just want to write more to improve my draft and any suggestions will be appreciated.
Aug 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "Why I want to major in economics?" - uc personal statement - prompt # 1 [4]

Prompt #1 (transfer applicants)
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

Choose a topic for each essay.
Look critically at the information in your application: your grades, awards, activities and work experience, family and income. Anticipate questions an admissions evaluator will have after reading your application. The personal statement is your opportunity to answer those questions.

Note: Hi, this is the first draft of my UC personal statement for prompt#1.I plan to apply for economics major after transferring to UC Riverside. I appreciate anyone here who can help me make a correction for my grammar errors and suggestions to improve my essay.

My current situation:

GPA:3.65 , but I have had 6 "W" on transcript.(2 "W" for calculus 2,1"W" on macroeconomics, 1 "W" on Chemistry(retake with "B"),1 "W" on engineering physics,1" W" on last English writing class required for transferring)

2 years investment experience

1 year working experience in a book store

Plan transfer to UC riverside, economics major

Why I want to major in economics?

The major I am planning to take is economics after transferring to UC riverside. The economics is the study of making choice and making the standard of living better. "Right choices" and "wrong choices" make different results on economy. When economy is healthy, the price of assets has the tendency to increase. The unemployed rate is low. Most people have steady salaries and happy lives. Healthy economy is based on "right choices" such as the government applies the proper fiscal policy. During the financial crisis period, people feel unhappy after experiencing the price cut of family assets and lowered personal incomes. Poor economy is based on "wrong choices" such as the excessive speculation. Current financial crisis is a best example to show that the excessive speculation in real estate crushes the economy of U.S since the summer of 2007. It is the most serious financial crisis since great depression in 1929. For example, Lehman Brothers, a financial-services firm which had 158 years history was failing in 2008.Even though the schedule of a financial crisis is unknown, "right choices" on economy will diminish the negative impacts of a financial crisis. The U.S congress had passed the bailout package of $700 billion last year to make the economy start becoming steady and having a slow recovery now. I am planning to take economics major is because it has closed relationship with the standard of living. I want to apply knowledge learned from this major to make others, society, country "feel happy" (to improve the standard of living). For example, as an economist, I can suggest others to make a "right choice". I really feel sad when I see people who become homeless after losing their houses and jobs due to the financial crisis and "wrong choices". Making others feel happy through job related to economics is my biggest favor. The investment activity I have done in past 2 years deepens my belief to study economics.

My dad has a low income because his English is poor. He does not know about investment. He concerns about his retirement benefit due to low amount of paid social security tax. I understand his "pain". I decide to help him by applying the successful operation experience in investment and the basic knowledge I have got in economics from my previous investment activity in China. I put his savings into investment. From past 2 years, the financial market did not perform well in most time until the recover which began in March, 2009. But I make my father feel comfortable when I end up with my investment activity. The company that makes me proud is a solar company. I take it because both Chinese and U.S government have made announcements to support renewable energy. President Obama believes that renewable energy industry will create "green jobs". Chinese government has said that China will consume 20GW solar panels in 2020. In addition, the company's finance is healthy. The company has positive cash flow and lower debt rate. Moreover, the company grows fast by looking its annual revenue year to year. Finally, I bought the stock when the share price was cheap by looking the company's P/E and book value. There is a deficiency from this case that my return is reduced by 50% from the maxim return because I miss taking care about the oversupply and fast profit dropping during introductory phase of solar panels in current time. These negative factors slide the share price of the solar companies.

After doing the activity, I learn that economics is very important to the standard of our lives. Making others feel comfortable through works relate to economics let me confirm that I am suiting for economics. This is the reason I withdraw my physics 4A class. Additionally, knowledge is the strength. I realized that the deficiency I have made proves that I will have a long way to chase my economics major. Also, I have learned that "better prepared" is the key to make less deficiency and high-level standing works. So when I found that I cannot suit for the teach style of the professor to make me "better prepared" for the future, I dropped class like math181, Business 1A. Sometimes it is very important to "cut loss". After talking a lot and doing activity relates to economics, I strongly believe that I will be better prepared for serving others in the future after graduation from UC riverside.