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Posts by Rahma155
Name: Rahma Khan
Joined: Oct 16, 2017
Last Post: Nov 1, 2017
Threads: 4
Posts: 16  
From: pakistan

Displayed posts: 20
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Rahma155   
Nov 1, 2017
Scholarship / Description of My Job Experience for Chevening Scholarship [4]

Shofia,

1. The Chevening application asks only for the 2 recent jobs you have done.
2. The job description does not require you to mention that to whom that company belongs or at what point of your life you did that particular job. Just strictly write about your responsibilities at the workplace only.
Rahma155   
Oct 31, 2017
Scholarship / Cried, but did it anyway! I have achieved new milestones in my job. [4]

Raza, you really do have some very strong accomplishments in your 17-month career with OUP, but your essay does not represent any leadership or influencing skills which makes this essay away from the prompt question. Moreover, you have mentioned that you worked alone in the HE unit. This shows that you were not at all near to being a leader as there was no one you were leading.

You can use your same accomplishments mentioned in this essay by adding examples of where and how you came forward as a leader and what influencing skills made you achieve those 7 new publications. These additions will surely add great value to your essay.

I'm also an aspiring scholar and my feedback is based on the thorough research of composing the Chevening essays and the positive feedback I received from the main reviewer of this forum on all of my essays.

I hope this helps you. Goodluck!
Rahma155   
Oct 31, 2017
Scholarship / Chevening Essay : Strong Networking for Starting a Company in future [4]

The question you have mentioned at the top of the essay suggests the reader to expect a STUDY IN UK essay, whereas the essay is a networking essay. Moreover, the word count exceeds the maximum word limit. Even though it exceeds by just 2 words, it will have a negative impact on your application so strictly abide by the allowed word count.
Rahma155   
Oct 31, 2017
Scholarship / Over the past four years, I have built a strong network of business professionals and IT experts [4]

Hello,

Kindly review my networking essay and provide feedback.
TIA.


Networking Essay - Chevening Scholarship



Over the past four years, I have built a strong network of business professionals and IT experts in Pakistan. Being landed the first job at XXX in 2013, which highly incorporated conducting sales meetings and maintaining strong business relationships with all the current and prospective clients, I was able to make regular contacts with many experienced and professional people from the technology industry, particularly in Karachi. I established my contacts by conducting meetings, maintaining follow-ups and inviting my clients to different IT exhibitions and events in which my company participated.

I had the opportunity to complete my high school education from Muscat, Oman where I build a strong connection with my fellow students before moving back to Pakistan. I was benefitted with my networking efforts in 2015 when I was assigned a project, which required acquiring a quotation from the sub-contractor of an international company. The subcontractor of the company for the South Asia region was operating in Oman and one of my school's class-mate worked there as an International Sales Officer. I have been in contact with my school friend since I left Oman, therefore I effectively negotiated with him on the pricing and requested for a special discount in the quotation. As I was known to him both personally and professionally, he persuaded his Manager successfully to offer me a discounted quote. My connection with my school class-mate greatly helped my company for that project and I was able to build a strong business relationship between my company and the sub-contractor, which made my company, received many discounted quotations for different projects in the future.

Since joining XXX as a Product Specialist Engineer in 2016, I was able to extend my existing professional network. I was introduced to the new contacts by my colleagues at business meetings. I have utilized these contacts to act as speakers at the business partner symposia organized by my company and to acquire positive testimonials from them based on their experience with XXX. By maintaining a healthy business relationship with the existing clients, I was able to add new customers to the company's clientele.

Earlier this year, my networking connections benefitted me when one of my old clients from XXX, invited me to speak at a business seminar for young engineers, where the professionals from the technology industry discussed the career opportunities and tips to become a successful engineer. That seminar gave me the opportunity to connect with the young minds and share innovative ideas with them.

By becoming a successful Chevening scholar, I plan to use these events as a platform to educate the young engineers about the esteemed Chevening Scholarship. Extending the prestigious Chevening network to my professional network will help me in connecting with young engineers and industry professionals who aspire to become a Chevening scholar. By sharing my Chevening experience and highlighting how this opportunity can help them in progressing in their individual careers as well as contributing towards a progressive and prosperous Pakistan.
Rahma155   
Oct 31, 2017
Scholarship / Studying in UK Essay: why I chose Development Finance [4]

Hello,

Kindly discuss each university choice in a different paragraph and do not mention the publically known information such as the university rankings. Keep your essay focused on the academic reasons for choosing a university.

In this regard, I would like you to please read my STUDY IN UK essay, as the reviewer has given very positive feedback on my essay. I am sure by reading my essay you will have a very clear idea of how to compose this particular prompt.

Good Luck!
Rahma155   
Oct 31, 2017
Scholarship / Chevening essay: Career plan in development finance, the role of financial sector for development [4]

Hello,

I would suggest you add what the UK government is doing in Indonesia and relate those programs with your career plans. It is a very important aspect and unfortunately, you have not mentioned it in your essay at all. Moreover, you should also tell the reviewer that how you will use your Chevening experience to help the international and local Chevening community after completion of your degree and how can you help the aspiring Chevening scholars from Indonesia.

Please add the mentioned points, those are really important for this essay.
Rahma155   
Oct 29, 2017
Scholarship / The UK has always been my first choice for higher education - CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP [7]

Hello,

Please provide on my STUDY IN UK essay for the Chevening Scholarship.
P.S: As I have already mentioned my academic background in the opening paragraph, therefore I did not discuss it again towards the end in the form of a closing statement. Please comment if that is ok?

WORD COUNT = 484 [max. 500 words limit]

TIA

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

M. Sc Engineering Management Programs choices



During the four years of my professional career, numerous opportunities came into my way where I practiced my academic knowledge of Electrical Engineering in a challenging environment, at the same time implementing my analytical abilities to add value to the teams I worked with. My current job of Pre-sales Engineer is a position which demands strong technical knowledge and management skills. In my day to day tasks, I am required to establish technical documentation of the projects, supervise the site teams and implement different management techniques to handle multiple projects and their timely deliverables to the clients.

The UK has always been my first choice for higher education as it got a range of world-leading universities with courses offered in English, which is an advantage for international students. I have chosen to apply for the post-graduate study in Engineering Management course. This course will help me to gain more insight into engineering as well as management disciplines along with developing effective skills to implement management strategies and techniques to the industrial challenges I come across every day.

My first choice for M. Sc Engineering Management is the University of XXX. The modules included in the course aims at extending critical understanding about engineering management significance and research applications. Collectively, this course program will align my professional experience with the importance of technical and commercial leadership within an industrial context at the same time enhancing my project planning, team-working and risk management skills. The reason of University of XXX being my prime choice to study extends to the campus being located in a contemporary country-side town close to nature, with many relaxation spots to rejuvenate. Moreover, the town offers lower cost of living with easy access to the neighboring metropolitan cities of Manchester and Leeds to spend the weekends.

My second choice for M. Sc Engineering Management is the University of YYY. The modules offered under this course will help me in enhancing my core management concepts, mostly focusing on supply chain and project management. I am particularly excited in learning more about International Finance Management module, as it will improve my financial planning skills along with greatly helping me in designing the project funding plan. Moreover, the rich history and vibrant culture of YYY fascinates me to learn more about it and to experience living there. Also, the moderate weather and sandy beaches of YYY offers great opportunities to relax and de-stress.

My third choice for M. Sc Engineering Management is the ZZZ. The modules included in the course program emphasizes on all the key areas of modern management essential for the engineers progressing in management roles. These critical management courses will benefit me in understanding the contemporary issues of organizational management, which I come across on a daily basis. The opportunity to study these courses along with the optional modules of electrical engineering will help me in becoming a specialist Pre-Sales Engineer.
Rahma155   
Oct 18, 2017
Scholarship / All of experiences has changed me to be an open-minded and appreciated person. Networking essay [3]

Hello,

The above feedback had provided detailed information regarding the content of your essay. I would like to point out about the grammar you used here.

There are way too many grammatical errors and poor sentence structures in your essay. MS word cannot indicate the major sentence structure errors. I would suggest you use Grammarly. It is a free tool and it helps in correcting many errors in the sentences. Even I also used it for my essays.

I hope this helps you.
Good luck!
Rahma155   
Oct 18, 2017
Scholarship / Project Management Practicioner - Networking Chevening Essay [8]

Hello,

Here are some possible corrections:

1. Clearly mention with names what projects and which external parties you are talking about in the second paragraph. However, if it involves any person's name, seek their permission before mentioning it in your essay.

2. Revise the second paragraph entirely. Kindly remove this sentence, " I approached them doing just like what I do ..." Also, instead of using the words 'bosses' and 'owners', better write 'upper management'.

3. The phrase used in the second paragraph, "and had them push their team to work better", is giving a rude impression for some reason. Use a better and polite phrase.

4. Most importantly, clearly mention your job designation and a little bit about your work profile. After reading the entire essay, I am still unaware about your designation.

5. Relate the incident of water plant with the company you were working in and which year did it happen. It will add more value to your essay.

All the best!
Rahma155   
Oct 18, 2017
Scholarship / Leadership offers wide spectrum to develop, implement and persuade people towards a positive change [7]

@Xti02
Dear Christi,

Thank you so much for your valuable feedback. I really appreciate the time you invested in correcting the grammatical errors in my essay.
This is the updated version of my essay. I hope you won't mind having a look at it. If there are any further errors, I would be grateful if you can point them out. TIA :)


I always believed that leadership offers a wide spectrum to develop, implement and persuade people towards a positive change, particularly of mindset. It is challenging to be a female engineer in Pakistan, where the gender gap on an industrial level is extremely high, and women holding a small percentage in the technology sector. The increased gender gap has made engineering termed as a 'male only' or 'male-dominated' sector, in the country. This further leads to the male counterparts contemplating female engineers to lack leadership skills.

My first leadership experience came from being promoted to supervise a team of technicians during my first job at "company name" in 2014. I was given the responsibility to supervise a team of ten technicians, where my main tasks were to lead the team while conducting site surveys and closely monitor the team's performance and work progress during the project implementation phase.

This came as a huge opportunity to enhance my leadership qualities; however, I was challenged when three members of my team refused to work under my leadership. They consider it as inappropriate to work under a woman's leadership, thus raising questions about my eligibility as an engineer and a leader. Moreover, they found it difficult to take guidance from a female engineer, where they consider themselves superior to me for the sole reason that according to them I belong to an incompetent gender group of the community.

During this phase, I kept myself motivated to persuade a much-needed change in the mindset of my team whilst not letting the work commitments to compromise. I believed in proving my competency as a leader by my actions, therefore I remained focused towards my responsibilities. I efficiently distributed the tasks among the team based on their skill-sets, motivated the team throughout the project phase and successfully mediated team disputes.

As a result, my team was successful to complete the project milestones within time. My first success helped me to change the mindset of all those people who initially had doubts about my leadership qualities. Later, I was successful in completing numerous projects with the same team until my tenure ended with the company in December 2015.

As it is very uncommon in Pakistan for a girl to work at odd locations, I encountered with another leadership challenge earlier this year during a site visit with my team at "company name" when an onlooker passed inappropriate remarks to me. This made my team members uncomfortable and distracted from work, however, being the team lead I urged them to remain focused as work completion should always remain our highest priority.

Pakistan is in an extreme need of a mindset change, as this conservative approach of the society towards women is not only widening the gender gap but also affecting the prospective careers of aspiring female engineers.

I look forward to setting an example for all the aspiring female engineers of my country by becoming a Chevening scholar, a program which inspires and empowers future leaders.
Rahma155   
Oct 17, 2017
Scholarship / Huge opportunity to connect with aspiring young leaders from different parts of the world [5]

Networking Essay - Chevening Scholarship



Hello All,

I have drafted the networking essay of Chevening scholarship. Kindly review and provide feedback. Thanks in advance.

Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your networking skills, and outline how you hope to use these skills in the future.

I had the opportunity to complete my high school education from Muscat, Oman. That experience exposed me to people belonging from different cultures and ethnicities. Interacting with different nationality people provides a huge spectrum to grow and establish relationships, which can be used for personal and professional growth if maintained appropriately.

I capitalized on this opportunity and remained connected with all of the connections I made in Oman after moving back to Pakistan for graduation in 2009. Being landed a first job which highly incorporates conducting sales meetings and maintaining strong business relationships with all the current and prospective clients, I was given a vast opportunity to utilize my networking skills in the most effective manner. While working at 'company name' in 2015, I was assigned a project which required acquiring a quotation from the sub-contractor of an international company. I found out that the subcontractor of the company for the South Asia and the Middle East region was operating in Oman. I was lucky enough to find one of my class-mate working with the same sub-contractor. To my manager's delight, my connection in Oman helped me by offering a much-discounted quote. This was only made possible through my networking skills. The management of the company was pleased with my effective networking and assigned me with the responsibility of dealing/communicating with all the sub-contractors from the Middle East region.

Currently, I am working as a pre-sales engineer and a major part of my job is to meet clients and pitch sales ideas to them. Strong communication and interpersonal skills are the backbone of a sales team. The key in being a sales engineer not only lies in have sufficient technical knowledge but also strong professional networking. Maintaining a healthy rapport with my clients has throughout helped me to win various projects for the company.

Networking should not be restricted to professional life. It is always essential to be involved in different social activities happening around. I actively participate in various activities held by my university for the alumni, till date. It was during a social event where I interacted with one of my batch-mate and he informed me about the Chevening scholarship program in the UK.

During my research about the Chevening scholarship for Pakistanis, through different social media platforms, I found out that there are still many prospective students who are unaware of this prestigious opportunity. By becoming a successful Chevening scholar, I look forward to utilizing my social connections in establishing an online platform preferably on a social media website, where all the current and former Chevening scholars from Pakistan can answer the queries of prospective students and share their Chevening experiences.

The prestigious Chevening experience will provide me with huge opportunity to connect with aspiring young leaders from different parts of the world where we all can motivate each other and contribute towards building a better future for our countries.
Rahma155   
Oct 17, 2017
Scholarship / I formed a team to determine the reasons for problems of scientific research in Egypt [3]

Marwa, write about your leadership experiences which happened in your professional career or workplace. Write about how well you managed and lead a team, what obstacles came your way while leading a team and did you cope up with all the challenges thrown at you. This is what chevening community is looking for in a future leader.

Hope it helps!
Good luck.
Rahma155   
Oct 16, 2017
Undergraduate / I learned to stand up for myself and for others. A meaningful story essay [3]

Jay, you had a strong story, however, I feel you did not express it in the most effective manner. Try to use vocabulary which emphasizes and highlights the serious issue of bullying you are discussing. Also, a little more detail on how you overcome your past with the new group of friends and what experiences they had, which motivate all of you to embrace life again would add more weight to your essay.

I'm not an expert though, you asked me to review your essay so this is what I feel :)
Good work though!

All the best
Rahma155   
Oct 16, 2017
Scholarship / Leadership offers wide spectrum to develop, implement and persuade people towards a positive change [7]

LEADERSHIP ESSAY FOR CHEVENING SCHOLARSHIP



Hello All,

I have drafted my first essay for the leader question of Chevening application. Please have a look and provide feedback. Thanks in advance!

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

I always firmly believed that leadership offers a wide spectrum to develop, implement and persuade people towards a positive change, particularly of mindset. Being a female engineer in Pakistan, where the gender gap on an industrial level is extremely high, further making women holding a small percentage in the science and technology sector. The increased gender gap has made engineering termed as a 'male only' or 'male-dominated' sector, in the country. This further leads the male counterparts contemplating female engineers as ineligible to lead teams and projects on industrial levels.

My first leadership experience came from being promoted to lead/supervise a team of technicians during my first job at "company name' in 2014. My expertise in the field made me eligible to supervise a team of ten technicians, where my main tasks were to lead the team while conducting site surveys and closely monitor the team performance and work progress during the project implementation phase.

Where on one hand this work responsibility came as a huge opportunity for me in order to enhance my leadership qualities and work dedicatedly towards the timely closing of the project, on the other hand, I was challenged when three members of my team refused to work under my leadership. They consider it as inappropriate to work under a woman's leadership, thus raising questions about my eligibility and skills as an engineer as well as a leader. Moreover, they found it difficult to take guidance from a female engineer in a male-dominated sector, where they consider themselves superior to me for the sole reason that according to them I belong to an incompetent gender group of the community.

During this phase, I kept myself confident and motivated to persuade a much-needed change in the mindset of my team whilst not letting the work commitments to compromise. To deal with the situation, I conducted various one-on-one sessions with each member of my team, where I closely listen to their concerns and convinced them that I hold the required potential to carry out the tasks. I efficiently distributed the tasks among the team based on their skill-sets, motivated the team throughout the project phase while closely monitoring each member's contribution to the project and successfully mediated team disputes.

As a result, my team was successful to complete the project milestones within time. Our first success also helped me to change the mindset of all are the members of my team to a great extent who had doubts about my leadership qualities and engineering knowledge. Later, I was successful in completing numerous projects with the same team along with changing people's perceptions regarding female engineers until my tenure ended with the company in December 2015.

Leaders hold the potential to change the society, and I look forward to changing the negative mindset of people regarding women working in the technology sector in Pakistan. Moreover, I wish to encourage more girls to take up engineering for their prospective careers by being an example of a successful female engineer.
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