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Posts by Ulfaidrus_flip
Name: Ulfa Aulyah Idrus
Joined: Feb 13, 2018
Last Post: Nov 16, 2018
Threads: 5
Posts: 5  
From: Indonesia
School: Flip English Pare

Displayed posts: 10
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Ulfaidrus_flip   
Nov 16, 2018
Scholarship / Writing Task 2: Capital City Problems [2]

government's participation in the development of a big city



Problems in the capital cities arise along with rising newcomer to the country. There are many opinions about the important or not for government takes proceeding such open a transmigration to the developing areas, which I will discuss now.

Increasing unemployment occurs throughout uncontrolling urbanization in the city which is equipped by public facilities completely. The difficulty of gain employment, or life guarantee such as healthy and education in the small village which far behind from major city, it becomes the main reason of rural people choosing life in the city. There are many people compete in looking for a job in the big city and have an impact on eliminating an incompetent people until becomes unemployment. For instance, In Jakarta full of the vagrant who sometimes singing on the road, begging, or committing a crime to stay alive. Finally, the small village and metropolitan get bad impact such as the Villages become more unproductive, and many social negative issues are experienced by the urban community.

Considering causes and effects of the criminality cases on downtown which require authority consideration. If the unemployment case cannot be solved from there, the poverty goes up and triggers the criminalization. For example, Criminal cases in Jakarta are higher than backcountry such as stealing, mugging, even the robbery in the elite area with straick guarding can still exist. Sooner or later life in the capital city not profitable if the problems that arise are not resolved.

Respond on this topic, I support the government to transmit incapable people to return to their hometown, and expert people to promote developing in the rural town. It was the ways to leveling the people distribution in all region and promote the progress of the underdeveloped region. On the other hand, the government must guaranty them to gain a job, health assurance, education assurance and other.
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Nov 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / Why urban areas has led to overpopulation and which are possible solutions for these problems. [4]

You need to make your paragraphs more well-balanced. The first five paragraphs are too short but the remaining is too long. You can combine some of them by using a connector.

You may need to revise your thesis statement. Directly put your main ideas there.

Below for your grammatical control:
urban areas HAVE led to
consumption of water EVERY DAY by
THE government SHOULD make contracts with A private...
people HAVE to PAY weekly ... amount OF water tankers.
Sometimes A water supplier DOES not provide
to THE government to provide AN alternative


And many other grammatical issues.

Good luck!
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Feb 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Agree/Disagree Community Service as a part of study [2]

unpaid community service as a compulsory program



Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Masses consider that non-profit society activities should be implemented at the senior high school level. In my opinion, it is a good idea since it can educate them about social life and give them occasions to apply their knowledge.

Voluntary activities can be mandatory in the high school programs because involving teenagers in charity programs will enable them to socialize and build a strong relationship among inhabitants. It is a must since promoting society is one of the main duties of an educated person. To illustrate, by donating fund and food for orphans and homeless people, it will educate them about how to behave good manner toward others. Eventually, they will have empathy and self-conscious to always care people in their surroundings. Therefore, by integrating this activity into the curriculum, students' interpersonal skills can be developed.

Moreover, adopting voluntarism will assist students to learn in depth through practice. It is generally known that studying pure subjects, such as mathematics, civic education, languages, and so on will be meaningless without spreading or real applications. Therefore, students can be employed to do several simple projects with teachers' control. For instance, they can teach street children in their neighborhood about mathematics. Besides, they can try their language comprehension by guiding international tourists in a vacation site. Accordingly, this program can enhance students' skills and be advantageous for other people at the same time.

To sum up, by guiding students to unpaid community service as a compulsory program, many merits can be gained by students. Therefore, the authority in the education sector can consider this to enhance students' ability.

From mod = one more useless advice = ban
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Feb 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / Essay about the contrast between current generation and my parents generation - IELTS [6]

You use too many words, it will be hard for you to write it in the limited time. For each body paragraph, it would be better if you:

1.Write the main idea in the beginning or/and end of the paragraph.
2. Give clear reasons for every main idea.
3. Give relevant examples if needed

You also can give a general suggestion for your last paragraph.
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Feb 15, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Two Opinions of the Internet [3]

It is generally believed that the internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


the global network as the main source of information



While some people believe that interconnected network is an outstanding communication platform, others argue that finding information through that is not a good idea. Both perspectives are elaborated in this essay.

Proponents state that the internet is a great communication media due to its availability at any point of the globe. By utilizing this platform, people can socialize with their families, relatives, acquaintances, and even strangers without time and space restrictions. For example, scientists from several different countries can collaborate to conduct a research easily by corresponding through email. Besides, old friends separated by continents can still maintain their relationship by using several kinds of social media, such as Facebook, line, and so forth. These virtues ease people to socialize each other.

On the other hand, the internet is not the best tool to find references as the validity and authorization of information in it cannot be guaranteed. This is because everyone can compose and publish everything they want regardless they master it or not. For instance, people without health educational background can suggest a medicine for addressing a disease just based on their experience without a further proofread by an expert. Eventually, such ineligible post is feasible to mislead readers. In addition, there is not a special authority checking the plagiarism of information stored. To illustrate, an irresponsible blogger can duplicate shared knowledge and reposts it directly ignoring to courtesy of an actual source. This action is obviously a violation of copyright.

To sum up, although internet eases people to communicate, its truth and authority cannot be directly accepted. Accordingly, it is imperative to the government to build an institution which focuses on filtering knowledge and its authenticating.
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Feb 14, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Agree or Disagree of Local Police Officer Recruitment [2]

Some observers say that police officers should be recruited from the communities where they work so that this is unnecessary or even undesirable. Where do you stand on this debate? Is local knowledge essential in modern policing?

police officers from the local community



Experts believe that a servant recruited for a police officer should be a homegrown person. I agree with this statement because, in my opinion, local knowledge is important to run this occupation.

Natives should be prioritized to handle police jobs since they understand well about problems in their area. As we know generally, each district has different issues. In some cities, robbery may be the biggest problem, while in the others the issues of murdering could be more popular. In this case, capable people recognizing in depth that problem are local societies because they have been living for a long duration in that place and have much time to observe. In addition, local officers recognizing many residents and places may be easy to gain information as a strong evidence for a case.

Moreover, an indigenous person is qualified to serve a community as they know about the language and custom there. This fact will obviously make people more convenient to socialize with officers. For instance, in South Sulawesi province, Indonesia, many elderly people cannot communicate by using Indonesian. However, they can console using their mother language which is able to be understood by officers on condition that they are local residents. Besides, local residents know how to treat community appropriately as every region has its own politeness standards. For example, in some districts, it is not the good manner to offer a document by using the left hand.

To sum up, the local community should be selected as police officers since they have adequate knowledge about the problem and tradition where they are working.
Ulfaidrus_flip   
Feb 14, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Causes and Solutions of International Tourism [2]

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes.

Masses criticize international travelers due to dangerous they may affect, namely spoiling environment and custom of local countries. This issue can be overcome by adopting viable measures involving both government and tourist agencies.

Many indigenous people assume that foreign travelers often deteriorate the environmental health. This is because visitors may contribute pollution towards to air, soil, and water. For instance, the demand for transports producing fume exhaust contaminating the air of tourist destination will increase. Besides, they always dirty surroundings by irresponsibly throwing their rubbish not directly into a trash. Therefore, local authorities should encourage holidaymakers to use public vehicles, such as a bus. Besides, they should campaign about how to maintain sanitary by giving a guidance of putting a warning in every holiday site. Moreover, fining litterbugs can be an effective method.

Furthermore, many natives consider foreigners' unconscious behavior as disrespectful due to cultural differences. To illustrate, a traveler may touch a sacred statue, step a holy tomb, or make scratches of an ancient treasure. In addition, when enjoying their trip in a developing Southeast Asian country, western vacationers often only wear underwear inviting a lot of unwanted stares as it is impolite according to the local people. Hence, tourist agencies should inform holidaymakers regarding the regulation and custom of their hosts, such as how to behave and dress appropriately.

To sum up, there are several reasons causing making a trip to other countries may cause hazards. However, providing that tourists are well-informed about how to avoid the dangerous, this issue can be addressed.
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