Writing Feedback / It is true that most people are likely to choose high-paying jobs - IELTS TASK 2 [3]

salary is a top priority for people

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that most people are likely to choose high-paying jobs. Personally, I disagree with this view, because I believe that other reasons are equally consequential.

On the one hand, I agree that salary can be the major reasons for people looking for occupations. Firstly, we cannot afford to pay for a house or go to a fancy restaurant, if we do not have enough money. Secondly, most people decide to travel abroad on the holidays to refresh their minds, but it will cost a great deal of money on the activities. For example, as I travelled to Japan with my friends on the summer vacation, I spend almost my one month's salary. Finally, most people who want to form a family will find it difficult because life expenditure, tuition and housing are really expensive for normal income parents.

On the other hand, I believe that there are various factors as important as what we earn in our jobs. One factor is that working with a nice boss and kind colleagues would make you feel more comfortable, and they may even help you to make through the obstacles that you have suffered from. Also, job location is a key consideration for people who is searching for works. For instance, while the companies offer a high-paying job, will you spend more than two hours to get there? Finally, some people choose their career simply because they really enjoy it, and are willing to spend more time on it.

In conclusion, although I disagree that salary is a top priority for people to find the jobs, I consider that other factors, such as job location, good co-workers, are also crucial.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: taxes for the public education system promotion? [3]

'private schools' essay

FAMILIES WHO SEND THEIR CHILDREN TO PRIVATE SCHOOLS SHOULD NOT BE REQUIRED TO PAY TAXES THAT SUPPORT THE STATE EDUCATION SYSTEM.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?

Some people believe that there should be unnecessary to pay taxes to promote the public education system for those parents who send their children to private school. Personally, I completely disagree with this view.

There are various reasons why it would be wrong to reduce the taxes for parents who pay for the private schools. Firstly, if we decide not to pay taxes to enhance the intact of state schools, it will be a big troublesome for those who works in the state government. Because it is quite difficult to calculate the total amount of families who let their children study in private education, and it would be an increase of staffs that should be responsible for the duty of counting the students who have academy in private schools. Secondly, we all pay the same amount of taxes to public services, but usually we may not have chances to use it . For example, most people are not fortunate enough to call for the polices or firefighters in our lives, but we would not ask for a reduction of paying taxes. Finally, it would be ridiculous that the rich people, sending their children to private schools, have a tax reduction, while the poor do not have an advantage on it.

In my opinion, paying taxes to support the state education system may bring us more benefits than bad things. We will have a well-produced study system that can make our young students have equal opportunities to gain knowledge from schools. This will lead to a well-educated workforce, and make our country become more prosperous and productive. For instance, companies will need a well-educated and talented employee, and good public education system can provide this staff. Furthermore, some parents believe that state education system provides less resources than private school does, but this view will be diminished soon as long as we have great funds on education system.

In conclusion, I firmly disbelieve that there should be any financial concessions for the families who choose private education.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: 'hospital attendances' bar chart [4]

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS FIGURES FOR ATTENDANCES AT HOSPITAL EMERGENCY CARE DEPARTMENTS IN NORTHERN IRELAND BY AGE GROUP IN DECEMBER 2016 AND DECEMBER 2017.

'hospital attendances' bar chart

The bar chart compares the number of visits made by people in six different age categories to hospital emergency in
Northern Ireland in the December of 2016 and 2017.

It is clear that the elderly people and the youngest one visited the most attendances in emergency. Also, there was a
trend of increase in each age period from December 2016 to December 2017.

The elderly people who aged 75 and over had the highest frequency in attending hospital, which stood at approximately 62 out of every 1000 people in December 2016. And it made an increase to around 65 per 1000-population after a year. Interestingly, age 45 to 64 and age 65 to 74 showed nearly less than half the elderly people visiting in hospital, with only about 28 and 30 per 1000-population respectively in the December of 2016.

Under the age of 5, the youngest people had the second large amount spending time in the emergency from around 50 and roughly 53 per 1000-population within a year. Young children had a fewest attendance to hospital from age 5 to 15 just over 20 per 1000-population in both months. Finally, there was only a tiny difference in visiting hospital from age 16 to 44, at just 1 per 1000-popution.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 1: 'waste table' essay - The table below shows the amount of waste production [2]

the amount of waste produced in six different countries

The table below shows the amount of waste production (in millions of tonnes) in six different countries over a twenty-year period.

The graph compares the amount of waste that were produced in six different countries in the year 1980, 1990, 2000.

It is clear that US produced the more waste than any other countries in each of the years. Furthermore, Korea was the only country showing a decrease of waste production between 1980 and 2000 while other nations rose the waste production during the period.

Between 1980 and 2000, waste production waxed from 131 to 192 million tonnes in US, and there was also a trend of rise in Japan, Poland, Portugal. Japan was a second high waste producer having 28 million tonnes waste production and rose to 53 million tonnes in two decades, whereas Poland and Portugal saw a total increase from 4 to 6.6 and from 2 to 5 million tonnes respectively.

However, the table showed a great difference in Ireland and Korea. In Ireland, the waste production was made more than eightfold showing a large increase from solely 0.6 million tonnes in 1980 to 5 million tonnes in 2000. Korea, by contrast, reduced its waste production roughly 12 million tonnes from year 1990 to 2000.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 :The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan [3]

[/h2]Graphical presentation of a school development

[h2]The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The two pictures compare the school site in the year 2004 with the proposed site design in the year 2024.

It is clear that the main change of school in 2024 involves the increase of school building. Then, It will be able to accommodate a considerably larger amount of students.

In 2004, two school buildings were separated by a path which was main entrance of the sports field, and there was 600 pupils attending to the school. By 2024, the two original buildings are connected and there is a path from the middle of the building 1 and building 2 which links the new-construct building. Furthermore, it is expected that there is going to have 1000 pupils in the school.

As the third building and a second car park will be built on the site of original sports field, the new, smaller sports field will be constructed next to the new-developed parking lot. A new road will also be built from the main entrance to the second car park. Eventually, the main entrance of school and car park will remain the same as before.

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