Writing Feedback / the rise in good consumption reflect the power of advertising not for real needs [NEW]

i am preparing for ielts test. however, my writing is bad, please help me to check for my essay. i am really happy to see my mistakes,thanks so much.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they sold.

To what do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people can see a mass of different advertisements on TV or even in streets. It is so popular that some people hold a opinion that the increase in the common goods reflects the popularity of advertising not for real needs of humankind.

Obviously, in modern society, using advertisement is the most powerful and effectively for business companies to bring their products to consumers. In this way, people can gain information about products easily, and this also boosts people buy goods.

However, it does not mean that people today purchase goods because of the power of advertising. I agree that this view maybe true in some cases. Take my friends for an example; they say that they will be willing to buy every thing what their favorite singer advertises for if they are affordable. People like that often make decision for purchasing without taking a time for consideration, and they often buy goods for other things or they are affected by the trend not for their real demands.

Especially, in the crisis period, the unemployment rates is rising day by day; therefore, most people have to reduce their budgets for consumption; people usually take thinking carefully when they buy things because they do not waste money. For those people, advertisements help them get information about functions and value of usage, and they decide to buy product to meet their needs not due to the trend or power of adverse.

To sum up, the growth of media, the most crucial factor, helps advertisement become more powerful, I green that this growth encourage people spend more money for purchasing. Nevertheless, the rise in consumption recently reflect the increase in the demands of humankind as a result of improvement in living standard not for the popularity of advertisements.

Writing Feedback / people are born with talent or not [2]

hi, please check for my grammar, sentence structures and logic, thank so much

It is general believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport, music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Nowadays, some may hold the opinion that a few people are born with certain talents, for example for sport or music, and others are not. However, others have opposite attitude; they believe that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. To be frank, I agree with the latter idea. I will discuss both these views and show my arguments in this essay.

Obviously, the first belief is true in some ways. I have ever watched a TV show that told about a musical genius; it is unbelievable, the genius is only 3 years-old. The programmer turned on a classical music and the child played a role of a kapellmeister. It was strange because he acted as if he was controlling a real orchestra. All of his hands' movements were congruous with the melody of the music. No one taught him but he still could do this; and it is said that his great musical ability is god- given. Meanwhile, when they played the music for another three year-old child; he also listened but he did not feel the music as the first child and so that he did not have any expression.

Actually, there are many people who are born without any gifts, however, they are carefully trained and that's why they still become good musicians or famous sport players. Normally, children who were born in artist- traditional family have musical talent; however, there are many famous singers who grow up in families that their parents are both workers. These people are successful and become popular simply due to their efforts and will. Vietnamese often say: "There is a will, there is a way"; if you have interests, you are assiduous and you are taught cautiously, you can become a talented person.

In general, there is no road filled with roses. Although you are born- gifted; if you do not try your best, your talents is disappear little by little. That's the reason why I agree that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Writing Feedback / "Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks" [2]

pl check for me more detail as possible.thanks in advance
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

There is a speaking: "Happiness is the same as crystal, the more sparkling it is, the more easily it breaks". Happiness plays an important part in our lives and actually it's an abstract concept. In my writing I will give some reasons why it's difficult to define what happiness is as well as some crucial factors in achieving happiness.

Why is it so difficult to define happiness? It's because to different people, happiness means different things. Sometimes, happiness is as simple as a child picks up a coin on his way to school or finds a toy that he has lost for a long time. When a teenager passes the entrance exam to university, it's also called happiness. A little bit older, happiness is when we find our real love and get married. To old people, they are happy when their offspring look after and take care of them. For all these reasons, it's hard to give happiness an exact definition.

There are some important factors in attaining happiness. In my opinion, they are health, money and love. There is an idiom that "Having health is having all". Imagine that a boy dreams of being a footballer but he has problem with his leg, how can he play soccer? Or a man wants to become a pilot but he fails only because he doesn't pass the eye's test. Therefore, if we don't have health, we can not do anything properly. On the other hand, money also helps to fulfill happiness. We use money to buy things we like, to pay for our interests or hobbies or to entertain... All these things help to improve our living conditions and that's why we are happy. The last factor may be love. Love doesn't only mean the love between a man and a woman. It's also the love for family, for friends and for all things around us. Without love, we're alone. How can we achieve happiness if we are alone? Therefore, love is considered to be a crucial thing in accomplishing happiness.

In a word, happiness can not be defined by anyone; it's something that is theoretical that we can only feel. There are many things in achieving happiness such as health, money and love; however, different people hold different opinions depending on their personal experiences, personality type and emotional concern.

Writing Feedback / the way to achieve fitness and health [2]

In some societies it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine - conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, when life quality is more and more improved, it is increasingly important to care about health and fitness. Many people think that playing physically demanding sports, having special diets or taking preventative medicine will bring them wellness. Of course this is true but not the best way to stay fit and healthy. To my mind, for two reasons below, I think the better way is for people to leave a normal life.

First of all, there are many common sporting activities of normal life which are not less profitable than physically demanding sports or special diets, such as morning walking, running, swimming, playing badminton. Those are the simplest and most popular activities for strength conservation that all people can easily take part in. Those cost people no money or just a little. My grandmother always walks at least 2km around our village every morning. She said that walking help to keep the old bone resistant, the fresh air in the morning also brings advantages too, it make you feel quiet and refreshing. Due to walking, she is very healthy now, even though she is nearly ninety. She can do some domestic works such as cooking, washing. I think morning walking benefit not only the olds, but also the younger people, even a little child.

Second of all, not many people can afford the cost of physically demanding sports, special diet or preventative medicine. These things seem to be destined for only ones having good circumstance. With a normal diet of a normal life, it absolutely can supply people with enough nutritive and vitamin. A very good example here is the oldest man in our village. He has no special diets. Beside fresh meat, he always eats much clean vegetables, and he said to me that one of the keys to maintain your good health is simply to have one banana each day. What a simple diet he has!

Of course, many people still think that playing physically demanding sports, having special diet or taking preventative medicine are the best way to keep healthy and fit. But it is noticeable that extremely practicing the demanding sports maybe wears people out and not relaxes their muscles and taking medicine too much and often will make people become dependent.

In conclusion, I think the best way to maintain good health is leading a simple and pure life.

Writing Feedback / reformation in education good or not? why? [2]

hello, i really want to improve my writing, help me please? pl check for me more detail for :grammar, structures, thank so muhc

Some students like classes where teachers lecture (do all of the talking) in class. Others prefer classes where students do some of the talking. Which type of class you like? Why?

In the last few years, there have been many reformation in my own country' education system, and one of the most outstanding changes is in teaching method. In stead of lectures where teachers talk all time, there are now always some presentations made by students during the class. Personally, I thinks these reformations have made education system in my country better, and this new teaching method is not good for me, but for most students.

To begin with, when students attend tuitions, they can have more chance to upgrade their own capabilities. In order to finish the topic which their teachers give them, they have to work in group, read many kinds of different material, collect data for their presentation. When they work together in group, they can learn skill for working together, which very useful for them not just during college, but after school. They also can improve their reading skill and technique to gather information.

In addition, making representation front of crowd help them become more confident. For example, when I was a student at high school, I always became nervous whenever speaking front of class. However, thanks to new teaching method, now I do not mind speaking in front of crowd.

Last but not least, the new teaching method make lecture more interesting for students. In class, students can discuss some things involved subjects, they have more chance to express their own ideas.

Writing Feedback / solution for new students to get on new school [3]

please check my grammar, structure, logic, thank you very much!

When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problems?

Students who move to a new school often confront with many problems; it is very important for them to get accustomed as soon as possible. Some students find it really easy; however, others' adaptation is not as good as their friends'. Consequently, schools should help them come through this experience successfully.

To begin with, in the first weeks, schools should give some orientation course which help freshman get involved with new environment. Advisors or administrators should take them on a tour of school and show them around should. Advisors should tell them about the school' history, how to access facilities in the school such as gyms, library, access computer, carteen, the rule they have to follow, and so on.

Besides, schools should help them find accommodation. Most new students wonder that whether they should live in hostel or rent a flat outside the school campus; therefore, School advisors can show the both advantages and disadvantages of these kinds of accommodation. School should arrange place in campus area for students who want to live in school, and help others who prefer living outside school to find place for living.

Last but not least, schools should constitute clubs, outside activities to make a good environment for students participate. When these students attend, they have more chance to make friend with others.

To sum up, the role of school is very important to help new students get accustomed to new environment.