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Posts by thaithu
Name: Thư Thái
Joined: Nov 19, 2019
Last Post: Jan 10, 2020
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  
Likes: 2
From: Viet Nam
School: FTU2

Displayed posts: 13
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thaithu   
Nov 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Employees should dress smartly or focus on productivity instead of appearance? [3]

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Dress Code Policy at the workplace



Over the past decade, dresscode at work has never failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. Some people assert that the employees should show their proffesion by their dressing styles while the other hold their view that the staffs had better give more notice on their working efficiency to appearance. In this essay, I will go more intensively into these two opinions and give my personal perpective.

Firstly, it is essential to recognize that smartly attractive dresscode at the offices possibly and indirectly encourage the staffs' interest or motivation at work. To be more specific, the fact that the employees have their own alternatives to adopt what they probably wear to the offices will make them more willing to concentrate on their jobs as the more delighted they get, the more productive they may perform. Furthermore, the scenio that all the staffs in the firm dress fashionably and proffesionally really show an amazing and interesting brand image for the company.

On the other hand, it is equally vital to recognize that labour productivity is of much higher essence compared to showing off the dressing styles at work. For example, notwithstanding serving in the same industry field, Vietjet Air actually make customers bear in mind their much more marvelous and high-fashioned uniforms than those of Vietnam Airlines. Nonetheless, Vietnam Airlines successfully achieves higher reputation due to their careful service and safer flights, which makes it manage to maintain its position and firmly stands still on the top.

In conclusion, every view has its own merits and drawbacks. To my point of view, under no circumstances does paying more attention to dress intelligently and gorgeously at the offices impact detrimentally on working productivity. As a result, I will give my support to the idea of freedom of dressing at work.
thaithu   
Nov 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: The main problems of our time is the loss of some plants and animals? [4]

@jungsooyeon
In the first body paragraph, you use "are used for" too much, you should replace it by some symnonyms like utilized. In the next paragraph, I see you use the structure "not only but also". If you use it, you should use "not only does this flood hurt people, it also consumes ..." to show better your skill of structure usage. There are still some typing mistakes in your essay, I think. Overall, you use some good words to help me to learn from your essay, thank you!
thaithu   
Nov 21, 2019
Writing Feedback / WRITING IELTS TASK 2: the importance of music - it connects the people [3]

To be honest, thank you that I can learn something from your essay. I think you got a grammatical mistake in this sentence "musicians compose songs ... inspire them to ..." as there are 2 verbs in a sentence. Overall you give good opinion but the way you convey it needs to be more concise. In the summary, I think you use wrongly the word "insufficient" because it means "not enough", I guess you mean music is important, you can you the word "irreplaceable" or some synonyms of the word "important" instead.
thaithu   
Dec 3, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Advertising on some food should be banned as cigarettes or not? [3]

Can you help me to correct my essay and give me some advice, thanks a lot! <3

advertising for certain food products



Research has shown that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertising of certain food products should be banned in the same way as the advertising of cigarettes is banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Over the past decades, food advertisement has rarely failed to draw public attention and provoke debates. Some people assert that overconsumption and overweight are the adverse consequences of advertising whilst the other hold their view that these issues are owing to the consumers' imbalanced lifestyle. From my perspective, product commercials is of no relevance to the detrimental overeating phenomenon.

Firstly, it is important to recognize that people should take the highest resonsibility for what they eat. To be more specific, advertisement does actually play the role of motivating and encouraging the clients to utilize the products. Nonetheless, it is never compulsory and mandatory for customers to purchase them. As an illustration, notwithstanding realizing the physically harmful effects and addictive substances in milktea, people tend to drink it more and more or even consider it as a daily habit.

Secondly, it is equally important to recognize that commercials is an irreplaceable and undeniable step in company's sale in particular and economic growth in general. Undoubtedly, imposing restriction on some certain food will create an unfair competitive advantage for other rival firms. Furthermore, a variety of advertisement for numberous food alternatives in different means of communication can develop the country economy steadily.

All things considered, under no circumstances should governmental ban or prohibition on advertising for some particular food products is publicly and widely accepted or supported. Likewise, it is essential that we organize a daily strictly healthy and balanced eating and exercising habit ourselves instead of accusing advertisement of our own diseases.
thaithu   
Dec 4, 2019
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2 : More and more young people are leaving school but unable to find jobs [2]

First, your ideas are very good but I can see a low range of vocabulary in this essay. You just use "unemployedment" and "do not have jobs". You can use "the unemployed youngsters", "joblessness" or "unhired people". If you want to ehance your score, you should reduce using "do not", you can replace it by using some adv.
thaithu   
Dec 4, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: The freedom of the media [5]

I think your essay will be more attractive if you use more examples. In some countries, some social media, for example Telegram, are restricted due to the risk of terrorism or reactionary. I see you use conditional clause, to get higher scores you could transfer it into "were media to be put,.... ". Overall, your essay has good ideas and reasons. Thanks.
thaithu   
Dec 4, 2019
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Colours impact on people [3]

colours variety and our life



Psychologists have known for many years that colour affects how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices or hospitals. How true is this statement? How far colour influence people' health and capacity for work?

Over the past decade, colour design in architecture has rarely failed to draw public attention and promote debates. Some assert that colouring is simply a tiny portion in designing whilst others hold the view that it is undoubtedly of essence in human' health and productivity. In this essay, the analysis of this issue with te physical and psychological effects of colour will be discussed.

To begin with, it is an indisputable and undeniable fact that many large buildings namely hospitals, schools, offices usually have been colouredin some specific tones. As an illustration, it is abnormal to see the universities or working offices in grey or black since these colours are considered as symbols of misery and darkness. Conversely, most of these buildings take advantage of red, blue, yellow or white. Ila, an educational institution, for example, utilizes blue and white to keep the children greatly focused on the lessons.

Secondly, in terms of the colour's impacts on human, we could witness blue and red as examples. Blue is known as the colour of hope owing to its convinient and comfortable feeling it provides. Apparently, hopitals use it to support and encourage their patients in the promising life. Sveral educational centers and companies apply red as thier main concept. The reason for this is red possibly inspires us activeness and positiveness. Not only is it a proud and smart man of conveying the organization's motto, but it also an incentive to power up the staffs.

All things considered, under no circumstances should we be ignorant of the importance of colour in our daily life. Likewise, before designing from a tiny objects to a magnificient structure, approriate meaningful colour alternative is highly likely to be an integral step.
thaithu   
Dec 6, 2019
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 2: Colours impact on people [3]

@roswita116
thanks for your comments. I consider part 2 in my essay mentioning the influence of colour on health and work, but maybe it's not clear enough. Can you suggest me other way to deal with this question?
thaithu   
Dec 6, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2- Benefits and Risks of people living to 150 [3]

Your essay is good, but I think you just use simple sentence and repeat some words. When you mention the idea, you could use firstly, secondly or to begin with, furthermore instead of the first/second benefit of it is.
thaithu   
Jan 10, 2020
Undergraduate / ADMISSIONS ESSAY: TELL MORE ABOUT YOU. RELATE ONE/MORE EXPERIENCE AFFECTING YOUR DEVELOPMENT. [2]

Helpppppppppppppppp! I have to submit my admissions essay for a university entrance next February and this is my first admissions essay so I'm really confused with the vocab, the structures, the grammar, the idioms, collocations I used and should use. Can you please help me! Thanks a lot!

university entrance essay



I was born in an Asian family that highly strictly focuses on learning at schools since my parents consider studying as a necessary way to help my family to get out of the poverty. It is proudly said that I could perform properly as well in academic subjects as my parents' expectation, nonetheless, sport is a shame of mine. The most unforgettable memory with this subject was when I had to learn how to swim.

It was in my grade 10 that a 15 meter swimming test completion was the compulsory requirement to pass the first semester. This condition was exactly a horror to a girl not only afraid of the depth but also poor at learning sport like me. The first lesson of movement coordination between arms and legs was totally challenging to me. Having looked at how excellent my friends were at swimming, I self-wondered how inferior I was and sank into deep depression with the wretchedness about myself.

After the first course, scared and unconfident as I was, I chose to study until the end of the second course and take the exam. Although what I could did at that time was just floating, I decided to give it a try in the second test. After two or three arm sweeps, I thought I could start properly and smoothly, but I got gradually exhausted and the feeling "I can not do it" always emerging in my mind disturbed me from concentrating on my movements. Suddenly I stopped, but unfortunately in the depth of 1.7 meters which was over my height. I could not stand or even swim. I suffocated and tried to raise my hand for a help also to reach out of the water for a breath. Eventually, I was luckily rescued by some of my friends swimming nearby. However, this memory was actually a shock making me cry and feel hopeless with passing the swimming exam. The worse scenario was had not I passed this exam, my overall performance in this semester would have been lowered as a result, thus disappointing my family.

My only fortune at this crisis in my life was my parents. In spite of putting any pressure on me, they comforted me from my fear and made full effort to find the most suitable way to teach me how to swim. They asked me to assume "I can do it" despite "I can't do it" on my every challenge. Just one month later, I knew how to swim and passed the exam under supporting from my beloved family and friends.

There is a saying from Henry Ford that really tells my lessons from this experience - "whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right". We may not believe, but it is true that our mind has a real super power. However, under no circumstances is it effective if the belief in our ability goes without our effort. To a sensitive girl like me, I have to make sure to apply one hundred percent effort in any performance and always keep in mind that "I can do it" to move forward and farther in my life path.
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