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Posts by rishabhk4896 [Suspended]
Name: Rishabh
Joined: Feb 10, 2023
Last Post: Feb 22, 2023
Threads: 5
Posts: 9  
From: India
School: Panjab University

Displayed posts: 14
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rishabhk4896   
Feb 22, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media [2]

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant



The chart depicts the proportion of people receiving news via various broadcasting channels in a country for 2013, 2015 and 2017. In general, people accessing information through radio and the Internet increased considerably, while television and printed media faced a noticable drop in their veiwers during the period given.

The percentage of people getting news on internet and radio was almost the same in the year 2013, at about 32%. In the case of radio, a small decline of audience in 2015 was noticed, but eventually it witnessed an upward trend in 2017, concluding at around 36%. Internet news readers, however, rose nearly 8% in 2015, and the same reached to just under 70% in 2017.

Television and Newspaper were approximately four-fifths (80%) and two-fifths (42%) of the number of total people in 2013. There was a constant fall in the proportion of newspaper readers, as it fell down to 30% in 2015 and it further dropped to 22% in 2017. Television viewers decreased by roughly 15% in 2015, whereas a growth of 5% was visible in 2017. Television audience ended as same as of internet in 2017 (70%).



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rishabhk4896   
Feb 21, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: Number of visitors to Louvre, Vatican Museums, London Science Museum, and Shenzhen Museum [3]

There are some serious issues with your essay in my opinion....
1. This line ..... Looking at the details...........to 7.8 million in 1980 is very complicated. I think you should have written this as
Looking at the details, Louvre received about 8 million visitors visited Louvre Museum in 1980, which increased by nearly 1.2 million compared to 7.8 million in 1980 by almost 1 million in the year 1995.

2. A similar trend was seen in Vatican Museums... There was a fluctuation in Louvre but Vatican rose uninterrupted. So this line can be controversial.

There are other issues but I think you already know them with the help of Holt.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 21, 2023
Writing Feedback / The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, on average, at one university [4]

The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, on average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The pie charts depict the average spending on various activities by students at a university for the year 2000 and 2010.

In general, it can be seen that the expenses on food and drink, and utilities were the highest for both the given years, while students spent the least on holidays for both years. Beside that, expenditure for some sections increased whereas others were equal or declined.

Food and drink was the largest part of the overall expenditure in 2000 and remained the same in 2010 too. Students spent just below one-fifths (17%) of their total expenses on sports and cultural activities in 2000, which was also unvaried in 2010. Meanwhile, only 5% of the total spending was on holidays in 2000 as well as in 2010 by university students.

Students spent around 8% and 21% on transport and utilities, respectively, in the year 2000, which rose considerably by 1% and 6% in 2010. The expenses incurred on eating out were only 4% in 2000, the lowest for the year; however, it doubled in the 10-year period and stood at 8% in 2010. Expenditure on clothing by students, on the other hand, dropped significantly from 16% in 2000 to just 5% in 2010.



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rishabhk4896   
Feb 20, 2023
Writing Feedback / TASK1: The given line graph illustrates the average carbon dioxide emissions per person, 1967-2007 [3]

I feel the main problem with this report is underdeveloped and incorrect data.
Example of undeveloped data..It moderately increased from just over 4 metric tonnes to under 8 metric tonnes in the first 30 years starting with 1967
Examples of incorrect data...1. carbon dioxide emissions in the UK were highest by 2009 in 1967.......2. the figure for Sweden grew by approximately two tonnes.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 20, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING PART 2: the importance of homework for children [4]

I found these mistakes
1. The grammar is not accurate always like It would be preferable if they allocated time for to other activities and If teachers only gave give tasks during the class, etc. So the structures are not always correct

2. You have repeated one idea two times such as writing main idea line two times by paraphrasing....if students devote more time to schoolwork, their productivity will increase. The more extra time they spend focusing on studying, the more likely they are to achieve good grades.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 20, 2023
Writing Feedback / Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime [3]

Okay so there are many errors in your essay but most significant are these:
Spelling errors.. these can cost you a lot in your LR section and CC would also be affected.
Grammar mistakes... Some of them are very rare but a lot of these are many common like punctuation and structures. Try to avoid structures that you're not sure of.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 12, 2023
Student Talk / I am a bit shy, when I have to speak in English, I always worry about my mistakes; I lack confidence [38]

Hi @phuongtran ,
I was totally alike you. I also didn't know that much English a long time ago and it, sometimes, created a gap between me and my friends when they had a conversation in English. But I practised daily in front of a mirror, and I also recorded my speech so I could get insights about my improvement. Fortunately, it worked and today I can freely express myself in English very effectively. You need to let on your inhibitions free, and then you would notice some changes too.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 12, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Students who gave a ''very good'' rating to the resources [4]

Hi,
1. Paragraphs were well maintained, but it was the poor data reporting that can lower your score.
2. Try to select and report main points, two of the most vital questions asked.
3. Additionally, intro is totally copy and pasted, thus will be excluded from your response, and this essay will surely fall short than 150 words.
4. You don't have to mention numerical data in enclosed brackets, they must be a part of your explanation.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 12, 2023
Writing Feedback / The percentages of four recycled materials, namely paper, glass, aluminium and plastic [3]

the proportion of four different materials that were recycled



The graph depicts the percentages of four recycled materials, namely paper, glass, aluminium and plastic, in a country between 1982 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that paper and glass were recycled the most, but the rate of recycling rose steadily during the period. Whereas aluminium cans' recycling increased considerably, recycled plastic was almost same and the lowest of all.

Paper and cardboard's recycling started with about 65% in 1982, which, after some fluctuations, grew slowly to 80% in 1994. Thereafter, a continuous drop was seen in the paper recycled, at almost 2% in every four years. Meanwhile, half (50%) of the total glass containers produced were being cycled in 1982. Although this recycling hit a low of 40% in 1990, the proportion of recycled glass grew gradually to 60% during 1990-2010.

In context to aluminium cans, the recycling process began at just 5% in 1986, but it went up noticeably high at nearly 45% in 2010. The growth rate was about 5% every four years until 2002 and 10% for the subsequent period. Plastics, however, witnessed a minimal rise of only around 7% over the 20-year period starting from 1990 [it was approximately 2% and 9% in 1990 and 2010, respectively].



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rishabhk4896   
Feb 11, 2023
Writing Feedback / The rise in the production of consumer items leads to the damage of the natural environment [3]

I think the essay is very well written but most of the sentences are in informal language, like cause in place of becauseand it's for it is. For that it may not score well enough. I'm also a student so I don't know much, but try to use more persuasive language. Too much strong or weak emotions may eliminate your score.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 11, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 - Museum Maps [4]

@Holt
Hi, thankyou and sorry at once. That was for others actually, but I sincerely apologise if you've been hurt. I'll keep in mind to write more sophisticated report whenever I'll get one of these double-imaged task 1.
rishabhk4896   
Feb 10, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 - Museum Maps [4]

Museum Maps analysis



The plans demostrate the changes made to a museum's ground floor from 1990 to 2010. In general, the museum has undergone many transformations with an addition of some new facilities and renovation of the old ones, and there were also relocations of a few sections.

In 1990, there was a Local History Room just on the right of the entrance that was unchanged in 2010, but the entrance was widened in 2010. On the left of the entrance, a museum office was situated with a reception counter right in front of it. However, in 2010, this reception counter was moved just to the right of the office.

Natural History Room's position remained unchanged that was just above the museum office. The Gift shop had been rebuilt and expanded in the year 2010, which also include a Café in it. Although there was no lift in the museum in 1990, one was installed in 2010 just between the Café and the Natural History Room. In addition to that, the Archeology gallary was converted into children's interactive zone and poster display area. In 1990, there was a statue near stairs, which had been moved to the centre of the museum in 2010.

Check this report and provide feedback and suggestions to improve mistakes.



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rishabhk4896   
Feb 10, 2023
Writing Feedback / Free time on my smartphone - Writing task 2: Direct question [2]

Many people, nowadays, spend a large part of their free time on a smartphone.


What do you think are the reasons for this?
Do you think it is a positive or negative development?


A large number of people use mobile phones whenever they are free. I believe that friends' influence and need to connect with others are two primary causes for using phones in free time, and it is a negative development because this activity badly affects a person's health.

One of the two reasons people use phones excessively can be peer influence. In other words, when a person encounters his friends using phone for various activities, such as video games or watching movies, he also tend to do the same. For example, it was reported in a study conducted by the Ministry of Health in India in 2012, that 73% of the teenagers use mobiles under the influence of their companions.

Another cause is that people try to create new relations via smartphones. These devices contain countless applications, websites and other algorithms by which new friends can be made easily. As a result of such helpful features, phones help people in formulating new bonds and keep in touch with old ones. Facebook would be an excellent illustration. This app allows people to connect with each other and make new friends just on one click.

On the other hand, I feel that it is a negative advancement as it indirectly affects a person's well-being. Due to watching a screen all the time, people who use phones do not feel motivated to perform any physical tasks. This results in turning them obese or overweight later on. Furthermore, concentrating excessively the phone screen also lead to poor eyesight or, even worse, eye-related issues. For instance, every doctor suggests that human eyes should avoid too much focus on anything, because it can damage the cornia and retina present in them. Apart from that, it is scientifically profound that smartphones discharge radiation signals that are harmful for a human mind. For all these reasons, I think it is not beneficial.

To conclude, many people like to use smartphones in their free time to form friendships easily and due to an influence by their peers. However, in my opinion, excessive usage of phone poses a threat on the health of a person, thus it is a negative development.
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