Undergraduate / My 3rd home, America. Williams supplement! topic: looking through the window [4]

Prompt: Imagine looking through a window at any environment that is particularly significant to you. Reflect on the scene, paying close attention to the relation between what you are seeing and why it is meaningful to you. Please limit your statement to 300 words.

The plane started to take-off. Almost naturally, my eyes turned to the window. I felt my lips forming a smile as the acknowledgement of the world below dwindling away every second brought sheer pleasure. With a futile effort, I searched for the red roofed, brick apartment, where I finished my breakfast, kissed my auntie, and said "Good bye." The sweet vacation was over; once again, I was leaving Korea.

As the plane shot through the path of white cottons, scenery of numerous islands spread before me. I saw the Philippines, my destination. Though it was quite far to see well, I was very familiar with the view outside the window. For a few seconds, I confused myself by thinking that I was returning to my home. 'Wait, I just left my home. What am I thinking?' Having this kind of feeling was not something new. In fact, I knew too well about this foreign country. I could already hear the jeepney roaring and exhaling thick waves of smoke; I could smell the Sampaguita, a flower which little children stringed into a crown and sold outside churches; I could see the palenke, a crowded marketplace where men and women displayed all sorts of goods, including sampalok, my favorite Filipino snack.

Everyone in the plane fell asleep while I kept myself busy with observation. I felt very nostalgic. Yet, I lamented the fact that it will be my last year in the Philippines, my second home. I gave my parents a look of bitterness which seemed to say that "I won't leave any more. I want to stay."

I guess the stare was no use. Now I am in my third home, America. However, I never regret the fact that I left either Korea or Philippines. After many years, I learned that my life is like a plane, which is set to travel. There is still long journey left like the changing views that I saw through the window.

this is actually 327 words..
anyway i need to send this today
so i need your advice and comments please ;]

thanks!

Undergraduate / University of Rochester supplement: good fit + diff. point of views. [4]

1. What makes the University of Rochester a good fit for you? In answering, identify your sources of information, including any conversations you've had with Rochester faculty, staff, students, or alumni.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

After visiting the University of Rochester, I found several qualities of Rochester to be a good fit for me. The Rochester students told me that they thrive in an international community, marked by the diversity of cultures that I value. Through conversing with a faculty member, I learned that Rochester provides a vibrant research programs in its curriculum. This would allow me to gain broad knowledge and experience in the field of Biology which I plan to study in the School of Nursing. The best quality that I admire about Rochester curriculum is that it has no required subjects. Thanks to its flexibility, I can take more chances. I more than welcome these chances that Rochester offers.

====================================================================== ============

2.Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an independent study and research plan. Describe what you will contribute to Rochester's diversity of ideas, experiences, and identities. If you can, incorporate a positive past experience where you chose your own learning path, or a negative experience where you wanted to exercise more independence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------
In high school, I loved to do most activities with only one exception: science lab. Our Biology lab required each student to demonstrate team work. In spite of my passion for Biology subject, I could not see the necessity for sharing the work and effort with others. Having stressed individuality, I felt that one would do the 'real' thinking process and the rest would get the same credit for what was not theirs. Although time and energy were consumed, sharing the amount of work did not bring any feeling of achievement. However in some rare occasions, some groups comprised people who were actually unique and each had something to contribute. I believe such people are Rochester students. With my principle of individuality, I will contribute to the Meliora: Ever better Rochester community like those students.

these are the short answers
i need your advice
i'm hoping this would be my final one..

the word limit should be 125,, but my second one is 135..which i really couldnt
shorten any further... help..
pls. leave a comment ;]

Undergraduate / Rochester second short answer: diff. points of view. [6]

Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an independent study and research plan. Describe what you will contribute to Rochester's diversity of ideas, experiences, and identities. If you can, incorporate a positive past experience where you chose your own learning path, or a negative experience where you wanted to exercise more independence.

In sophomore year, I loved to do most activities with only one exception: science lab. Our Biology lab required each student to work with others as a group; it meant team work. In spite of my passion for Biology subject, I could not see the necessity for sharing the work and effort with others. I, who greatly stressed individuality, felt that one would do the 'real' thinking process and the rest would get the same credit for what they did not work for. Although I understood the value of group activity, sharing the amount of work did not bring any feeling of achievement. However in some rare occasions, some group comprised people who were actually unique and each had something to contribute. I believe such people are Rochester students. With my talents and enthusiasm in the field of my interest, I will contribute to the Meliora: Ever better Rochester community

the word limit should be 125 but this is 150..
i need help...

i have to admit that i'm having
difficulty answering this question..
pls. tell me if i'm being too negative in my short answer
and some advice would be nice.;]

thanks.

Undergraduate / University of Rochester supplement. Short Answer, Individuality and independence [4]

The question is:

Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an indenpendent study and research plan. Describe what you will contribute in Rochester's diversity in ideas, experiences and identities. If you can, incorporate a positive past experience where you chose your own learning path, or a negative experience where you wanted to exercise more independence.

Here's the answer:

Individuality and independence are some of the qualities I greatly admire. It is in fact, a result of a personal experience in the past. In my freshman year in high school, I easily swayed between other people's decision. Somehow I seemed to believe that it was fine to selflessly respect other's opinion even though it meant that I had to yield mine. I was very conscious of what my friends thought of everything. For example, when I chose clothes in a store, I stopped and thought if most teenagers would have liked them as I did. However I started to realize that I kept concealing my true self and it would impede me from achieving my desires if I continued. This belief was confirmed when I read Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead"; it stressed the importance of being a unique individual. I think students in Rochester are all very unique in their own way of thinking, learning, and experiencing. By expressing my own thoughts and beliefs and sharing them with others, I would also contribute to this uniqueness as an individual.

I was kinda lost at the end
becuz somehow it doesnt answer the question well...
i need some advice

please and thank you ;]

Undergraduate / 'no competition among students' - Swarthmore supplement: 'Why Swarthmore?' essay [8]

-Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.

Swarthmore contains everything I seek in a college. First of all, Swarthmore has the ideal size for the community of Swatties who are a group of very sociable people. Because of the respectable faculty and student ratio, each and every Swarthmore students can directly interact with their professors and become friends with others easily even with the ethnical diversity. When I visited the campus during the summer, I felt the sense of togetherness among the students and teachers. The idyllic atmosphere around the campus also matches up with my personality. Numerous clubs and activities created for the students to fit in. Swarthmore encourages students to become active get involved. Just by sharing some conversation with a friendly Junior who was our guide, it was proved that the Swatties are very diligent and outgoing people.

"The smaller, the shrewder." When I think of Swarthmore, this proverb is the very first thing that comes up to my mind. This is a widely known proverb in Korea which is humorous because Koreans believe that the smaller the size of hot pepper, the hotter it is. Despite its modest size, Swarthmore proudly represents one of the "Little Ivies" and is becoming more and more prestigious. I admire how Swarthmore can be both small and huge at the same time; although it is a small college, it provides huge resources for students. Both in and out of campus, students are given literally endless opportunities. One of them, for example, is the cross registration of Bryn Mar, Haverford, and University of Pennsylvania which allows students to take courses which are not available in Swarthmore. Because of this flexibility, students can experience and attain a broad scope of the world as they study in depth of their academic field. This quality of Swarthmore will definitely satisfy my thirst for knowledge and a desire to learn.

Surprisingly, despite the rigorous education, there is no competition among the students. This is probably the best reason why I chose Swarthmore. Rather than a rivalry, there is kinship between students and they care more about sharing what they have with others. Swarthmore, from what I learned, does not calculate students' GPA unless under certain circumstances. This not only promotes healthy relationships among students but also reduces the tensions. I could imagine myself studying without any stress due to the grades in Swarthmore. I believe this is what makes students become more passionate about what they do since there is no pressure or any hindrances.

Moreover, Swarthmore meets one hundred percent of financial needs of admitted students. This financial aid policy proves that Swarthmore considers a student's well-being and it guarantees any support for the student to pursue his or her goals in Swarthmore. In other words, students do not need to worry about the debts until graduation. I am very certain that Swarthmore is the place where my every effort is going to be significant because it is where student inputs are valuable. When I know these for sure, why not choose Swarthmore?

------I feel like i'm lacking something here..
is this essay convincing enough?
is it specific?
am i being clear why i want to get into Swarthmore?

Undergraduate / "Jane has autism," Common Application Essay! Topic: significant experience. [4]

Hi everyone :] this is my first time uploading any personal essays.
I really need your advice. Any comments would be helpful. Thanks.

It was Saturday. It was always Saturday. I woke up in the morning, changed my clothes, and closed the wooden door behind me before muttering any complaints about being late. Checking the time, I quickly got on the backseat of the Chevy. The usual numbness which anyone could get when they doze off in the car seized me until my eyes opened widely at the sight of the black, bold letter printed in front of the building: American Wheat Mission Inc. I more than agree that the name can be misleading to some; the American Wheat Mission Inc. was an organization that cared for disabled children.

With a strange sympathy for myself, I can recall the first day of volunteering. Right before my hand reached for the door knob, I sighed, taking in as much oxygen as I can before exhaling, as if ...