Undergraduate / History with neuroscience - Brown PLME [3]

Please take a look at this essay! It desperately needs editing...

Prompt: Since the Program in Liberal Medical Education espouses a broad-based liberal education, please describe your fields of interest in both the sciences and the liberal arts. Be specific about what courses and aspects of the program will be woven into a potential educational plan.

How many gigabytes of memory does the human brain have? If there isn't enough, the doctors might have to go to the store to and buy a few memory cards, maybe even get a new graphics card while they are at it. Though it may seem a bit absurd, the connection is undeniable; computers are evolving to be more like the human brain. The two pound lump of tissue in our skull has the capacity to change the world, alter history, and even invent the very computers that attempt to emulate it. In light of all of this, I can honestly say that I am still in disbelief. My zest to study medicine led to my interest in the brain, but that same ambition revealed to me a new world of history and hertz. Thus, as I pursue my studies in the PLME program at Brown University I hope to engage in classes that study history, neuroscience, and even computer science.

History is fundamentally a study of the human condition. Actions humans take aim to better our lives in this world and even the next. These qualities have always mesmerized me because history is like a scientific or medical dissection. I hope to study history at Brown to gain exposure to unique perspectives that have not only influenced history, but science and medicine as well. That's why I want to jump right in to courses like "Eating Cultures" or "Drinking in Britain and America." These seemingly offbeat classes have a lot to do with the actions figureheads in the world have taken and they hold particular interest with me because they directly impact both culture and health. But, delving into cultural history is not simply what captivates me; it is, additionally, the ability to trace the human thought process through generations of thinkers and philosophers, movers and shakers, evildoers and patron saints.

While studying history, I also want to explore classes in neuroscience and computer science. I am increasingly convinced that the new frontier of medicine, especially neuroscience is found in both, the brain and the computer. Mixing computers with the mind is the treatment path of the future, as it allows medicine to mix with near-human micro processing technology and the best surgical techniques.

The computer science program at Brown is also especially fond of multidisciplinary study. To me, this means being able to mix classes like "Computational Molecular Biology" with "Computational Neurosciences" in the neuroscience department. Multidisciplinary approaches like these are essential to thinking in the analog and digital worlds, but also to diagnose and treat disorders in the medical world. As a high school student with a limited access to in-depth approaches to computer science and neuroscience, Brown University courses that treat the subjects as interrelated and inseparable elements of medicine are exactly what I can't wait for.

Computers are increasingly becoming more like the mind, with memory, processing, and even emotions. I want to be a part of these new developments of the future, but still maintain a strong grasp of the mind's dynamic past. An education that mixes past with the future- that's what I've always been about.

Undergraduate / Cornell Arts and Sciences- History Major [3]

I wrote this essay a bit uninspired. Please critique it as harshly as you can...

Prompt: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

History is commonly perceived to be a study of dead things. Dead People, Dead Civilizations, Dead ideologies. The list can go endlessly. For me, however, there was something ensnaring about history. It was the one class I just couldn't wait for, whether it be 4th grade or 4th period in high school. History gave me something to think about because every lesson had a parallel in the real world. Almost automatically I was drawn towards history's unconventional answers, answers that rejected the obvious and searched for the intertwined and intangible truths.

In fourth grade, I was the kid who loved history class because it like story time, except with tests. But, what grabbed my attention was the teacher's fantastic stories of the Civil War especially his stories President Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation. A document my teacher heralded as a sign of Lincoln's hatred of slavery. One day in class, my hand shot up. I asked the teacher "Why did President Lincoln want to free the slaves?" He stared at me quizzically "Um...I just answered that, slavery was bad and he wanted to get rid of it." "Then, why didn't he free them at the beginning of the war?" I responded. My history teacher stared blankly at me.

Years later, I came to recognize my search for the unconventional truth in history as a socially beneficial responsibility. As a student, I worked in the California New Born Screening Program; a program instituted to treat or prevent disorders is early childhood. Statistics in my lab revealed that Hispanic mothers and babies had a higher likelihood of refusing testing or simply ignoring protocol. What my superiors wrote off the occurrence as a cultural rift, the problem was something I could not ignore. In the twenties, President Herbert Hoover deported Hispanic individuals citing the same "cultural rift," but through my history teacher's instruction, I was certain that both Hoover and the lab had overlooked the simplest of problems-communication. A week after I suggested that Spanish translators be used, local clinics reported a rise in the number of Hispanic mothers accepting testing. The unconventional answer for history was thus transformed into a modern answer for medicine.

Cornell has always encouraged the unconventional answer and that is why I hope to study history at the university, but more importantly engage in the undergraduate research that Cornell augments its programs with. I would love to study the dynamics of race relations in the United States and the research opportunities that Cornell offer allow me to search for the unconventional answers I have dreamed of. But, better yet, Cornell provides me the ability to not just study, but implement what I have learned. I plan on taking full advantage of the "Cornell in Washington" program, so that I may work towards social responsibility by encouraging change in public policy.

History has never been dead for me. In fact, history can easily influence the future and I want to be part of the process, every step of the way.

Undergraduate / UPenn Teacher's Autobiography '...with a loud bang, I toppled a pile of books' [5]

Any Help on this autobiography essay will be appreciated. Thanks!

Prompt: You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.

...with a loud bang, I toppled a pile of books, as I crashed to the ground. Even after twenty years of teaching in the same classroom it seemed as though I was as much klutz now as I was as a teenager. Some of my students giggled at my comical fall, a brief reprieve from studying for the impeding doom-a quiz on the Mexican-American war. Slowly, I straightened myself up, fixing my crooked tie and ignoring the mound of toppled books. The next lesson was the connection between the Mexican-American war and the eventual civil war, an interesting subject for the teacher, but perhaps not so much for an AP U.S. history student.

The ringing of the class bell signaled the end of ...

Undergraduate / Listening or Speaking? - Common App essay [8]

This is my best shot at the common app essay. Please take a look and critique as harshly as possible...

Prompt:Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Social Culture Club - Listening or Speaking?

On my bookshelf, between Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit, lies the only book I have refused to read, aptly titled Listening: The Forgotten Skill. The self-help guide was a "gift" from my Dad, which meant that he secretly put the book on my bookshelf, hoping I would stumble upon it and read it. Stumble upon it I did. Read it-well, that never happened.

My family has always considered me the loquacious child, too talkative for his own good. In fact, I didn't know the meaning of a phrase like "shut up" until at least the fourth grade. Little did I know music was going to change all of that-listening rather than speaking was going to become a crucial part of my life, as a musician, as a debater, and as an individual.

In the 5th grade I was introduced to the clarinet by my band teacher. I knew instantly that instrument was mine. To me, playing the clarinet was just like speaking, except with Beethoven, not my flesh and blood friends. Interestingly, however, I liked playing by myself, which meant I was a musical "loner," though I was a social butterfly. But, my lonesome clarinet world was soon shattered; I was chosen as a member of the Sacramento Youth Symphony.

On the first day of rehearsal, I felt very nervous, knowing that the pieces I had rehearsed so diligently by myself now needed to be integrated with the rest of the orchestra. My fingers went numb and my mouth seemed to fill with cotton as I struggled to perform with the symphony. I couldn't help, but feel disappointed after the rehearsal. I felt like my clarinets speech was incongruous with the speech of the orchestra. They would "speak" a beautiful solo and I would respond in a cacophony of nonsense. I didn't know it then, but the medicine I required was readily available-listening, my forgotten skill.

Week after week I struggled, but gradually improved. "Speaking" through my clarinet was a skill that took dedication and practice, but playing in an orchestra required constant and attentive listening - a completely foreign skill to me.

As I matured I increasingly began to understand the value of listening in an orchestral setting. Performance, like speaking, is interactive. You have to respond to the pizzicato of the violins with a gentle staccato on the clarinet, you have to feel the tuba's angry forte and respond with a fervent fortissimo, and you must understand and respond to the feeling, the music, and the art. But my orchestra experience was only a first step; the next step began as I learned to truly listen to people.

Whereas in the symphony the need to perform with others forced me to listen, debate seems to be totally different-actually, they're quite similar. Between writing cases and the pandemonium of the argument, debate is as much about listening as it is speaking. I daresay, I have always found speaking easy, but as I learned to listen I opened up a whole new world. While I was getting by speaking, the more I listened the more privy I became to the logical fallacies of my opponents. But, the plastic trophies I won in debate cannot compete with the social surprises listening pampered me with.

By improving my listening, I noticed myself making stronger connections with my friends, family, and even strangers. As a member of my school's "Culture Club" I worked with foreign exchange students by listening to them explain the barriers they have to face just to communicate as I readily do. Listening added to my perspective by showing me the interactive relationships I could create with people who could not speak the language I was accustomed too. Listening also gave me its finest gift, a dream for the future. I am now set upon teaching, a profession that requires listening as a foundation. It is my dream to become a better teacher and listener, and it is my hope that they are one and the same. But until then, I will shamelessly admit I still have never read the book Listening: The Forgotten Skill, but I believe that I likely arrived at its meaning sitting wedged between a row of clarinet players, fingering the notes of Beethoven's 5th, and listening, yes me, listening.

Undergraduate / University of Pennsylvania Academic/Social Communities Essay-Supplementary [8]

The Educational Voyage

Captain Cook, Captain Nemo, Captain Bhat. What do all three of these individuals have in common? Two of them are great explorers, one fictional, one real, both immortalized. The third explorer, not found in a history book near you, is me-yes-me. I have always dreamed big, hence the Captain in front of my last name, but more importantly, I have always had a love for exploration. Whether it be building a tent fort and exploring my house at age six or mountain biking with my best friend at age sixteen, exploring has captivated my imagination. But, I want to add a touch of my own to the definition of exploration. I want to explore culture and heritage to discover the universal truths that tie every civilization in the world together. Of course, writing an essay about this is actually easier than setting out on a voyage of discovery, but I believe the University of Pennsylvania is the perfect vessel to set out in.

High school provided me two rudders to guide my ship; a longing to understand my beliefs and the quest for an unconventional answer. As I nurtured my talent in debate and argumentation I learned to reject ad-populum views that failed to express anything other than what is most obvious (no more Cable News!) I searched for answers that were unconventional and more compelling. Similarly, biking to school turned out to be better for communication than transportation. As we biked, my friends, all of whom are budding Newt Gingrichs, argued with me, the staunch liberal, over healthcare and the economy. To my surprise, as they challenged me, I learned to understand my beliefs in the context of others. These rudders are what I believe I can add to Penn, specifically the ethnohisotry curriculum.

I like asking questions-a lot of questions-but the ethnohisotry program encourages this because it connects culture, ethnicity, and heritage to the more academic inquiries of history. To use multiple relevant fields to answer some of the most pressing questions is everything I desire in an unconventional answer. Better yet, I can't wait to join a community of curious individuals who find the ethnohisotry program a cross-cultural network that defies the barriers of race to discover what I have scanned the horizon for; the bonds that tie all of us together. But, of course the explorer can't just seek one destination, so I would like my ship to stop at several ports of call, from mathematics to the humanities. While being a part of the ethnohisotry community will be rewarding, the experience of belonging to multiple communities will only help me draw a map of the new world I am sailing into.

Penn is unique in that it offers the ability to augment what you have learned in class, through social experiences. For that reason, I would like to have accompanying me on my voyage the cultural community on campus, especially the Pen Tango club and the Ki-Aikido club. I want to experience the traditions of the world, not just study them. Tangoing the night way-I really need dance lessons-or learning to discipline my mind and body-martial arts-I know I can enjoy and contribute to my journey as well as the journeys of my peers. These social communities among others provide my voyage personality along with purpose, but may even allow me to add my own experiences as a first-generation American to the cultural scene.

The University of Pennsylvania is a vessel that can take my educational voyage to the ends of the earth. Like the explorers who grace my history books, I wish to understand the world, but I want to do so through my ability to search for unconventional answers to both, the significant and the insignificant questions of history, culture, and ethnicity. The academic and social worlds at Penn provide me an interactive relationship with history that I have been waiting for-that's what my quest is all about.